No Man's Land 2018

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker : Hello SWAT fans ... and welcome to NO MANS LAND!!!!!

Andrew Fulton : Boy, that has a ring to it Jerry.

Jeremy Tucker : How long since we have said_that.

Andrew Fulton : Too long. The glory days of SWAT Australia. What a show.

Jeremy Tucker : 55 Episodes Fulton. But that was then, this is NOW! SWAT 2018! And what a night for you we have tonight, 30 men entering the ring for a Royal Rumble! And ... Two Million Dollars up for grabs in a HUGE Amazons Tournament!

Andrew Fulton : Two million?

Jeremy Tucker : Two Million.

Andrew Fulton : No wonder we are going broke. Forget about Backyard trying to send us out of business, when we are just throwing money away like this.

Jeremy Tucker : Its the new Era of the Amazons! We will make that back ten fold just on pay per view buy rates, let alone future Amazons revenue.

Andrew Fulton : Huh?

Jeremy Tucker : Coming up in our first match, we have Suzi Spits scheduled to meet the Pan Amazon Champion, Olympia, lets go down to Glenda who has Olympia standing by before this opening match.

(Olympia is with Glamorous Glenda in the backstage entrance dressed in her wrestling attire waiting for her introduction.)

Glamorous Glenda: "I'm with Olympia the former Olympic Gold Medallist and current SWAT Pan Amazons Women's Champion. Tonight you're going against former SWAT Amazons Woman's Champion, Suzi Spitz in the first round."

Olympia: "This is my first true experience against one of the best women's competitors in professional wrestling. Suzi's the full package with her experience in other promotions and she was the women's champion. I have nothing but respect for her."

Glamorous Glenda: "You know she lost in a controversial decision because she was attacked by Neela Shizeguma and Tornado Red defeated her."

Olympia: "I know and I saw that match but let me tell you this. Suzi's a tough competitor and I respect her guts and heart and fortitude. She lost her title but she didn't give up or even submit to Tornado Red and that is true toughness. That's what I like in opponents and that's toughness."

Glamorous Glenda: "You know that if you get past her and that's a big 'if' it won't get any easier."

Olympia: "I know and I'm not backing down from any of the competitors. I was conditioned for toughness and I proved myself since I debuted in SWAT Amazons and I want to continue to prove myself against the best in SWAT Amazons. I want to show how tough and rugged I am.
I want to show that anyone can win at anytime and that size doesn't matter. It's how much fight you have and how much heart you have and I have that and more."

Glamorous Glenda: "Well let's say you face your sparring partner Jade......"

(Olympia holds her fist in the Number One pointer finger position.)

Olympia: "Like I said anyone and any competitor in SWAT Amazons. I'm ready and I'm rough and tough and I and scrap and tumble with the best and rumble with the best and in No Man's Land it's going to be one of my biggest and truest tests. I'm ready. Let's do this and do it for the good ole USA Number One! Hurrah!"


The Olympic Theme plays and the Amaztron shows an American Flag waving before fading to the Olympic flag as the words Olympia are shown. Olympia walks towards the rampway with her head bowed down low as red, white and blue pyros explode. She stands there and then lifts her head slowly before marching down the rampway. She removes the American flag and folds it with respect before doing the same with the Olympic flag and gives it to the ring attendant. She enters the ring and bows to all corners with respect and honoring the ringsiders before taking off her jacket revealing a red, white and blue MMA combat halter with the Olympic symbol on the front, tight red, white and blue MMA fighting trunks with USA on the front and red, white and blue wrestling boots with red, white and blue tassles. She takes off her gold medals and gives them and her jacket to the ring attendant. She tests the ropes and stares down her opponent with intensity and purpose.

Frank Salazar : LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS A FIRST ROUND TOURNAMENT MATCH AND SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL ... ITRODUCING FIRST, HAILING FROM OLYMPIA WASHINGTON AND COMING IN AT 6’ & 135 LBS ... THE PAN AMAZONS CHAMPION .... OLYMPIA!!!!

C.O.D. by AC/DC hits and Suzi Spits makes her way out, split reaction from the crowd, half love her, half hate her, she doesn’t care one iota and makes her way down to the ring, eye balling Olympia in the ring.

Frank Salazar : AND INTRODUCING HER OPPONENT ... HAILING FROM NEW ORLEANS AND COMING IN AT 5’10 & 135 LBS .... SUZI SPITS!!!!!!

Referee Bo Brady signals for the bell and the two start to circle one another. Olympia hooks her and delivers waist lock take down into a side head lock, Suzi pushes Olympia off into the ropes and Olympia delivers a boot to the gut of Suzi, Suzi hunches over, and Olympia with another side headlock, this time flipping Suzi over to the mat while holding onto the head lock on the mat.

Andrew Fulton : Olympia with the amateur skills taking Suzi down. Spits writhing on the mat trying to escape, and makes it to the ropes for a rope break.

Jeremy Tucker : Suzi back to her feet angry and goes to slap Olympia, but Olympia blocks it, and arm drags her down into a quick step over armbar.

Andrew Fulton : Olympia looking great out here, she is free of the scrubs association, and looks happy to be so.

Jeremy Tucker : Olympia has an extensive MMA back ground, and she rolls Suzi Spits over into a single legged ankle lock! Olympia with the ankle lock already! Suzi grabs the ropes and slams the mat in frustration as Brady breaks the hold.

Andrew Fulton : Spits charges Olympia with a savate kick, but no, Olympia catches the foot ... ENZIGURI! Spits with the Enziguri! YES!

Jeremy Tucker : Big momentum swing there, Suzi then grabs Olympia and delivers a Sambo Suplex!

Andrew Fulton : She is one of the best wrestlers in the world Jerry, you don’t become SWAT Amazon of the year for nothing.

Jeremy Tucker : Olympia getting back to her feet, SHORT ARM CLOTHESLINE by Spits!

Andrew Fulton : Spits with a roll over suplex, hangs on for the pin

Jeremy Tucker : ......... One .......... Tw ... .kick out by Olympia.

Andrew Fulton : Olympia back to her feet and challenging Suzi to a test of strength.

Jeremy Tucker : Suzi accepts and then knuckle up and Olympia with the advantage, Suzi while holding on runs up the ropes and cartwheels over Olympia and arm drags her down to the mat, WOW!

Andrew Fulton : Suzi with a lion sault, covers ...........

Jeremy Tucker : One ...................... Tw .... Olympia gets the shoulder up.

Andrew Fulton : The Pan Amazon Champ holding on well here, but its just a matter of time before the superior skills of Spits gets her over the line. FINISH HER!

Jeremy Tucker : Olympia locks in a front chancery. ... snap suplex from Olympia!

Andrew Fulton : Olympia follows up quickly, German suplex!

Jeremy Tucker : Olympia is not done ... Belly to Back over head throw suplex! What were you saying superior skill Fulton?

Andrew Fulton : Meh, we will see, its still early.

Jeremy Tucker : Olympia .... HANGING TOWER SUPLEX! This could be it ... cover on Spits .... One ........... Two .............. T ... Spits gets the shoulder up.

Andrew Fulton : Suzi getting to her feet, she is a little surprised with this onslaught and trying to catch her breath, and Olympia is relentless and charging clotheslines her over the top rope.

Jeremy Tucker : Olympia to the top rope, Suzi on the outside, and Olympia launches with a double ax handle, connecting. She then rolls Suzi back into the ring.

Andrew Fulton : ELECTRIC CHAIR! Olympia just hit the electric chair on Suzi Spits ... i don’t believe it.

Jeremy Tucker : Cover ... its all over .... One ........................ Two ....... Th ... shoulder up by Spits.

Andrew Fulton : Olympia has been super impressive here against a top class opponent, im blown away Jerry.

Jeremy Tucker : Suzi not done , chop from her to Olympia, another chop! Suzi hooks her and delivers a double underhook backbreaker, Ouch!

Andrew Fulton : Thats all it takes, that one critical move of the match.

Jeremy Tucker : Spinning back kick from Suzi to Olympia ... she follows it up with a sitting powerbomb!

Andrew Fulton : Suzi signals thats it, its over ... YES!!!! SPLIT LEGGED MOONSAULT! What a thing of beauty!

Jeremy Tucker : Cover from Suzi ..... One ............... hooks the leg .... Two ............ shoulder up by Olympia! Wow!

Andrew Fulton : Suzi cant belive it, she is yelling at Brady that was three! And it certainly was.

Jeremy Tucker : Good count by the ref, get your love eyes off her for a moment and you will see like the rest of us it was a good count. Suzi is livid, and look out ... Chicken wing by Olympia! Locked on good too!

Andrew Fulton : Suzi struggling, can’t get out of the hold.

Jeremy Tucker : Brady asking her will she submit, and Suzi refuses.

Andrew Fulton : Brady asks her again, and again Suzi refuses to submit.

Jeremy Tucker : Olympia releases the hold and Olympic Slam! She starts with a single legged Walls of Jericho but transitions into a sharpshooter by wrapping her leg around opponents but transitions again into a standing anklelock while maintaining the sharpshooter/Walls of Jericho position. GOLDEN LOCK!

Andrew Fulton : That is some move!

Jeremy Tucker : Suzi is stranded, in the middle of the ring, Brady asking her is she will submit, and she has no choice but too, SUZI SPITS JUST SUBMITTED TO OLYMPIA!

Andrew Fulton : NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Jeremy Tucker : Well done Olympia! What a victory, what an upset! Suzi was one of the favourites to win the whole thing, and just like that, she is out in the first round.

Olympic Theme hits and Olympia gets her arm raised by Brady, she is beaming with pride and heads up the ramp high fiving the fans the thrill of victory flowing through her.

Andrew Fulton : Olympia progressing and she will meet in the semi finals the winner of the next match, which is new Amazons Champ Lucky Linda La Fey up against former Amazons Champ Tornado RED!

[SWAT Team]

Frank Salazar - This Match is scheduled for one fall, and a SWAT 2 Million Dollar Tournament First Round Match. Introducing first weighing in at 130lbs from Dublin Ireland she is Lucky Linda LaFey

Linger, Cranberries hits and Lucky Linda makes her way down the ramp way, high fiving the fans. She brandishes the belt to the crowd and gets a good reception.

Frank Salazar ; And her opponent weighing in at 150lbs from Los Angeles California .... Tornado Red.

Red runs down the ring and slides in there eager to get the match under way

Bell Rings Ding Ding DIng

Jeremy Tucker : We have a SWAT 2 Million Dollar First Round Match and it has Linda La Fey v Tornado Red and the bell has rung and we begin the match. Linda and Red lock up and they both measuring each other out as Red has Linda up to the corner posts and ref asks for a break which they both do. Kind of surprised to see that

Andrew Fulton :Anything is possible tonight in this big tournament, but who cares I want to see a brutal beatings tonight and everynight

Jeremy Tucker : Now Linda has Red against the buckle and she delivers a chop, and another and the crowds wooooing to the chops for sure

Andrew Fulton : As we see Red escape the corner and out quickly is Linda and delivers a dropkick to Red and dropping red to the outside of the ring. Linda follows Red to the outside of the ring and Red hurries back in and as Linda rolls in an elbow to the lower back onto Linda by Red and now Red is stomping away at Linda and Linda is up and Red sends a running clothesline with authority and that has to hurt for sure

Jeremy Tucker : Red got a small advantage so far can Tornado Red keep it up as Red sets up Linda and delivers a snap supplex and gets her up and another snap suplex.

Andrew Fulton : Linda stands up and as Red turns around a big boot to the face of Red and I bet still groggy but Linda heads to the middle ropes and waits on Red to turn as she does Linda hits a BlockBuster. And covers Red for the first pin of the night.


ONE


Jeremy Tucker : Can she get the three count.

TWO: Kick Out

Andrew Fulton : No only a two count and was wondering are you able to count that high. My answer would be no but with Red kicking out, Red slowly gets pulled up by Linda and Red goes behind clips the knee and dropping Linda to the mat and Red grabs the leg and wooos and locks in the figure four leg lock.

Jeremy Tucker : Linda riving in pain, can Red make her submit as Linda is close enough as she grabs the lower ropes and a break must happen. Red gets up grabs the hair of Linda and does a hair mare across the ring. Red in complete control of the match as she now grabs Linda sits her on the top rope and delivers a chop to her and a open hand smack to the face and that just made Linda mad. Linda kicks Red in the head and Linda sits Red to the top rope now and she heads to the top grabs up Red omg no way and BAM she delivers a Super Plex off the top rope and both ladies are hurting. Crowds chanting this is awesome, this is awesome. Linda rolls over and lays a hand across Red for the Pin.

ONE



TWO

TH kicks out

Andrew Fulton : That should of been illegal but of course its not.

Jeremy Tucker : Kicks out from a Super Plex and Linda is up and signaling the end she clapping hands as she ready to hit Trouble In Paradise and as she goes for it Red moves out the way omg locks up and Nails her finisher Full Nelson Suplex and Linda is out cold it looks like this is crazy from one trying finisher reversed into another and Red drops down. Worn out she needs to cover and wait she not covering. This could be a costly mistake. Red takes Linda across her back and nails a German Suplex.

Andrew Fulton : Brock Lesnar Welcome to Suplex City. I would suppose. Linda is slowly getting up and again Red comes kicks her in mid section and delivers a DDT, and good grief I love it Spiked her on top of her head, yep she out hahaha.

Jeremy Tucker : Yes vicious DDT for sure and now Red covers Linda after all this beating.

ONE

Andrew Fulton : Stay Down I want to see blood.

TWO


THR kick out

Jeremy Tucker : OMG almost a 3 count, How did Linda kick out of that for sure. Both want to win this tournament first round match and, Linda chop clocks Red's leg grabs her up and does a belly to belly suplex. Linda gets up and gets the fans going. Linda takes Red sends her off the ropes and nails a big back body drop. Linda got her 2nd wind here. Now she heads to Red and bounces off the far rope and drop kicks her out of the ring. And Linda to the corner buckle got the fans going heads to the top rope and waits for Red to look over and as she does a cross body off the top rope onto the floor and that was high air she got.

Andrew Fulton : Linda stole my air miles I was using for my flights someone arrest her, or hell DQ her for theft.

Jeremy Tucker : What do you mean DQ her she flies off the top rope not takes your air miles, I think you need some help, but in any case Linda sends Red back in the ring and Linda at the corner stomping feet to the ground and as Red turns around she hits a Superkick. Dropping Red to the mat. Linda yelling at Red to get up and BAM as Red got up she hits it Trouble In Paradise was nailed this time and Linda covers Red, I think this is it.

ONE


TWO


THRE kick out

Andrew Fulton : Wow Red kicked out I am truly amazed I think, Naaa I am not amazed who cares. Both woman getting up and Red rakes the eyes of Linda and she turned around and omg

Jeremy Tucker : OMG is right she hits another Full Nelson Suplex. And this time goes for the pin and win.

ONE


TWO


THRE nooooo she kicked out


Andrew Fulton : That is a rip off that was a three.

Jeremy Tucker : No the referee is telling bell ringer was not a 3 and match is continuing. As Red is arguing with the refs. Linda is up and turns Red around and nails a punch to the gut and she lifts her up and BAM Powerbomb.

Andrew Fulton : Ouch that must of hurt.

Jeremy Tucker : Linda takes Red and now telling the fans its over as she sets it up and BAMMMM Irish (Canadian) destroyer. As Linda is sitting on the mat next to Red as she looks out, Linda knows its over and she now covers for the pin.

Andrew Fulton : Get up Red get up.

ONE



TWO



THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bell Rings Ding Ding Ding...



Jeremy Tucker : Its over Linda defeats Red in a brutal match up. Way To go both for a hell of a match!!

Frank Salazar - WINNER OF THIS MATCH BY PINFALL LUCKY LINDA LA FEY

Linger hits and Linda celebrates, Red looking none too pleased with the result.

[SWAT Team]

(Jade is dressed in her wrestling attire talking on the phone with someone as Glamourous Glenda comes up to her.)

Jade: "Yeah we can talk about what you need after my matches in No Man's Land are complete. I'll meet you at the time and place that you arranged."

(She turns her phone off and she places it in her black trenchcoat.)

Glamourous Glenda: "Did I interrupt something."

Jade: "I hope you didn't hear any of it."

Glamorous Glenda: "Oh no I didn't hear a word....Anyway, you have a match tonight against Alexis Rage. What do you think of her."

Jade: "Let me tell you something the only thing I think of her is that she's not much of a wrestler and she didn't even deserve to be in the title match. Alexis Rage's only claim to fame and reputation is the fact that she interrupted the Suzi Spitz/Tornado Red title match just to introduce herself. Talking about embarrassing yourself."

Glamorous Glenda: "You know she's tough by her performance in that title match."

Jade: "Yeah and she got her immediate rematch in the lockerroom by beating up the former champion and top contenders."

Glamorous Glenda: "The lockerroom was empty."

Jade: "Who said anyone was in there. She was beating up the trash cans and lockers and anything else in her way like it was a rematch in the lockerroom. Seriously, Alexis Rage can throw her weight around all she wants. She can throw as many temper tamtrums she wants in the ring and outside the ring. You see Alexis you're going to be a one and done deal. Why you got in this match is beyond me. What I do know Alexis is that you're going to feel how it's like to be beaten badly."

Glamorous Glenda: "You remember it's a round robin."

Jade: "Then if we meet again I'll still beat her but in a worse way."

Glamorous Glenda: "Everyone knows you want one Wildcat Lynne Brewster badly. You two considered the possibility of meeting in what could be a rematch."

Jade: "Depends on if we get through our opponents. I'm not going to focus on Lynne just yet. I plan on concentrating on Alexis and whoever else is in my way in No Man's Land. That's all I care about at the moment. Nothing else matters and when the time comes we'll come to grips and when we do we'll continue our war that was started at the tribute show. Right now I have business in the ring and I intend to do it and do it decisively."

(She leaves as the scene slowly fades to black.)

[SWAT Team]

[We switch to the back and see Amazons Champion Lucky Linda La Fey stretching. She starts re tapping her wrists, then wraps a loop around her bicep.]

“For Delores” She says. “What a beautiful soul, she sang my theme, and this one against Olympia is for her.”

“Tornado Red” Linda says to the camera “While you may have been an embarrassment as Champion, that was a good fight you put up, credit to you. Still, not enough to get by the NEW champ. Your time is over Dearie, now is time for Lucky Linda.”

“Olympia. You defeated the odds on favourite, well done also to you.” Linda stares intently to the camera “Did you get LUCKY? Or are you that good? Maybe Suzi was that bad? Maybe she tapped and gave up as a metaphor for you know .... giving up and not trying?”

“Maybe i am looking too much into it. Maybe, just maybe it doesn’t matter and i just kick your teeth in and show you which belt is THE main belt around here on my way to the final and TWO Million big ones!”

“So, Olympia ... “ Lucky Linda points finger triggers to the camera and play blasts them “You got to ask yourself a question, do i feel LUCKY? Well? Do Ya? Punk?”

[Linda winks to the camera as we switch back to the ring.]

[SWAT Team]

The camera catches up to Lynn Brewster who is just arriving at arena, her bag slung over her shoulder. We hear footsteps running to catch up to her but finally Lynn relents so that whoever is chasing her isn’t forced into an unannounced marathon. Glenda is seen trying to catch her breath. Lynn waits, brushing her hair back. Finally Glenda is ready.

Glenda: Lynn, you’re here for No Man’s Land, how you feeling about it?

Lynn: First off I know where I am. This takes me back years when I was walking into this building in a similar tournament and I walked out of that one the winner. I expect this evening’s outcome to be the same.

Glenda: Any words towards the ladies you’re facing this evening?

Lynn: Where to start. I guess we’ll start with my first opponent, Candice Morelli. Candice I heard what you had to say before we all arrived here tonight and…..where do I start?

First off, I’m like next to the last person on the planet to hand out fashion advice but please, could you pick say…..two colors? The last video I saw of you, well you were wearing purple, which hey! I love purple so not a problem. Pink? Ok…..in the same general range as purple so I can go along with that. But the green scarf? Bury it somewhere in the bottom of a dresser. It does NOT go with that outfit unless they are casting for the Joker for a new Batman show.

Unfortunately I worry that if your wrestling sense is anything like your fashion sense, you are going to be a mess in that ring and I am really not wanting to carry your ass long enough to pin you. It’s going to be quick if we base it on….you looked. I will admit I can’t fault you for knowing that maybe you’re in over your head. Although if you want to make a name for yourself, well I hope that name is “I was pinned by Lynn Brewster at No Man’s Land”.

At least you were listening when I said you should walk away. Unfortunately, at least from what I was told, you’re stashed away somewhere here waiting on our match. Get warmed up, be ready to throw everything you can at me because you are a speed bump in my evening. You think you will face anyone else? Well I didn’t know they were doing a second women’s match for the losers. I thought it was us and then the men in their rumble, although we should have been the ones to shine this evening. But then we all know that the combination is so huge that Melbourne almost couldn’t contain both. But Candice hon, I don’t mind giving you a couple pointers in the ring, teach you a few things for you to work on after you recover, and maybe make you re-evaluate some of what you know. See I remember what it’s like those first few matches, being unsure of “do I do this, or should I try that” and so forth. You will quickly learn what works for you, and what doesn’t, not that it matters facing me. What you can hope to gain from me is the mere experience of being out there in front of the fans. Finding out if you’ll freeze up under so much attention. You find out what it’s like to be cheered, like me, or booed, like Jade. You realize what things you have in your repertoire that just will and won’t fit who you are. Just keep in mind that you will find all this out even though you will almost certainly lose to me.

Glenda: I see. So you don’t seem to have much confidence against Candice.

Lynn: I just hope I don’t get hurt due to her lack of expertise.

Glenda: And is there……

Lynn: Please, I know you’re going to say it. Then there’s Jade. Well first off let’s keep in mind chances are high that we will each have a semifinal match to be in before we meet. I pity whoever the third person is in that ring because they will be destroyed. Although I hate to tell Jade this but just like the “good old days” she will again find out that even all this time later I am still the dominate female wrestler here, and I’ll even say it now. I came out of retirement for this match, this….event this evening. However I’ve decided over the last couple weeks that I will be sticking around. See there is the matter of two Amazon titles, the Amazon title and the Pan-Amazon title and to be quite honest I would love to hold both of them. I want to rule the Amazon division like I did the Women’s World division. I will be the one that people look up to, be a true champion like some of the gentlemen in SWAT.

So ladies, like it or not, the Wildcat is back, and I’m making sure you all know who the “bitch” over all of this is me.

Camera fades to black.

[SWAT Team]

[Meanwhile UNDER the ring...]

#CLICK#

[The DEVIL of SWAT seems to be tampering with the canvas around the ring posts...]

LEFT Tentacle: What are you doing?

Vile "Vince" Viper: Contingency planssssssss.

[While he does flinch at the presence of the camera, the intense rage you would expect 32theV to show The Assassin Appendage seems to have subsided. The elderly albino gives the two men an impatient wave to drop the apron and join him, before turning back to his crudely made bombs. If the production crew sees this segment before the match begins, they will probably search for C4 strapped to the ring before the rumble starts. VVV will just have to hide even more to make sure a few of his alternative victory plans stay intact. The best laid plans.]

Vile "Vince" Viper <tossing Tentacle a pipe with an alarm attached to it>: Don't just ssstand there, you're the one all fired up about helping me.

LEFT Tentacle: I think I can do better in this rumble than Bruticus could. You're not still made at me...

Vile "Vince" Viper <flinch>: Not at all... I might have <placing his razor sharp claws on the stomach of Tentacle's costume> GUTTED you before the contest for questioning me in front of the boysss... you know better than that Left. <raising his claw, VVV places a razor sharp talon on the bomb's alarm clock, spinning it backwards> But I've run out of time...

LEFT Tentacle <raising bomb to his ear>: These are just props to prove a point, right?

Vile "Vince" Viper <sardonic grin>: Who can sssay? <playing around with sticks of dynamite just out of the camera's field of view> I brought one of the greatest bruisers this sport has ever seen out of retirement in Morrisss Bassssss, but due to a technicality he's outside the ring. You found Bruticusss' only weakness - an attempted beheading. So the best enforcer that money can buy is off the table. The rest of the backyard kids were held up by security, courtesy of the soon to be set on fire, Phoenix. While I look forwards to rescuing Vampira from that bastard clown Beelzebozo with my new pal Psssychotic Goth, the minute Team Fairfax show up, that's not exactly an alliance I can count on. My son Kilroy is still avoiding a paternity test, like I knowingly abandoned him - isss it my fault his mom got around? Even Payne... my greatest ally... PAYNE pulling that tired "don't cross me" BSss. I have half a mind to kidnap a member of his family and FORCE him to work for me... <fucking camera> ONLY that's the kind of shit I expect from Beelzebozo and Indussstrial Man, I respect people's loved ones and would never resort to such ssshenanigansss. <blink> Payne is my boy.

LEFT Tentacle: Wait are these cherry bombs... candy or bombs....

Vile "Vince" Viper: If you ssswallowed a few, don't worry about it. I was going to force you to do just that eventually. Point of this ssstory... despite being the best thing this rumble has going for it? At 30 PLUS to 1, things aren't looking too happy for the cheap heat machine.

LEFT Tentacle <taping himself to a post>: Did they really keep all the guys from entering the arena?

Vile "Vince" Viper: Turned them away like they were garbage. <quiet reflection> You've got a real opportunity here, LEFT. Its not just about protecting me... your life might depend on that... the universe might depend on that... but you insisting on being here tonight? Its not about you, its about them. Have I ever told you about my favourite rumble?

LEFT Tentacle: The one where number 28 and 29 eliminated each other before you could come out as the last participant, so you won without wrestling anyone?

[God I'm good.]

Vile "Vince" Viper: Nah... see I wressstled back in Europe for decades before I made it to the Ssstatesss. I did good work, was a very SERIOUS and respectable wrestler. When I finally hit the international big time, it was the height of mid-90s new generation nonsense designed to appeal to children. It wasn't enough that I could knock a person out with a forearm shot, or do a ten hour broadway... America didn't need that. So I became the king of sssnakesss...

LEFT Tentacle: What a great rags to riches story!

Vile "Vince" Viper <shakes head with a sad smirk>: You think? It didn't take more than two years for the youth market to become teenagers that didn't want evil clownsss, killer dentissstsss, or ssshintoissst priessstsss - but bible bassshing rednecksss, coke sssmoking male ssstrippersss, and biker gangs. Still the only bookings I could get were as that king of sssnakesss... so to make a living, I'd show up as the wressstlecrap... and have to work twice as hard, stiff, and violent to fit in with the rest of the crowd. People who saw me live HATED me... I was kind of fucking scary... but to the global companies, the major stars? I was that cautionary tale you told the new guy who didn't fit their attitude mold. ...So after years of being looked down on by the upper echelon, I finally found myself in a match... 30 men means that even a pariah like your old uncle Vile can mix it up with legends... the men I had been chasing. One opportunity to show everyone I was just as good as Sssuper Ssscott, Dark Dessstroyer, Brody Thunder, Caleb Temple... these were all RSSSPWF wressstlersss of the year... it was a WHO'S WHO of our industry. So I got in that match with dreams of carving out my piece of the wrestling dream. ...And then politics reared their ugly head. Ridiculously early number, multiple other matches on the card, and in the match itself every body they could find standing between me and the lights I needed to darken. Everyone I knew basically collectively telling me I wasn't good enough to get slapped around by Thunder. <pained smile> ...It was beautifully disssappointing.

Cameraman: THAT was your favourite rumble?!

Vile "Vince" Viper <chuckle>: Much like Jimmy Fierce'sss relationship as his own grandpa, I'm complicated.

[Running through memories of the event, Vile doesn't realize his claws have almost punctured the canvas stretched above their head. That could snap. He pats some plastique over the scratched portion. That should hold. Or leave a hole.]

Vile "Vince" Viper: I tell you this for two reasons... FIRST... were they wrong for not recognizing my place at the top of the animal kingdom? Yes. They missed the boat on my greatness... but the spirit of elitism? Full Circle. I am this little rumble's Brody Thunder - a Bobby Maplesss, Enigmatic Creature, Paul Sssoutter, Logan Burgessssss - do they deserve to be in the same ring as me? No. Its laughable to think of me being put in a situation where a nobody like Alex Turner can put his hands... hand on me. Regardless of how long I wrestle, how many people I eliminate, even my assured victory, take that away and I still command the highest salary... why? Because I'm an opportunity? HUGE celebrity for the man who throws me out? That will be the day! No even locking up with me could move a guy like Brickheart to the next level... which for him is the midcard. While the first reason for that story is opportunity... that is also the SSSECOND...

[Shaking his head, Vile fingers an especially deep scar on his throat...]

Vile "Vince" Viper: ...Do I hate being the king of sssnakesss? <flinch> That's just a name some guy gave me. What I did over the following decade, from laughing stock to RSSSPWF/EWRT 2006 wressstler of the year... the lives I ruined, careers I broke, bodies I mangled, souls crushed, hopes shattered, minds tainted, and imaginations I poisoned? It was chopping away at that inferiority complex that MADE _ME_ the king of sssnakesss.

[Bending slightly, LEFT Tentacle looks down at his own costume... a giant cartoon tentacle.]

Vile "Vince" Viper: ...Phoenix, Pesssci, Sssoutter, the KGB, the board of directors, all the fans that make the backyard crew into second class SWAT wrestlers... I know its easy to laugh at guys dressed as monsters, or worse... I victimize you guys, so they think they can too. I make it easssy, right?

[Tentacle nods, but is still lost in thought.]

Vile "Vince" Viper: This is what you need to ask yourself, Left. When I see a guy and tell him, dress up like mascot from Frankenberry cereal. Am I trying to bury him? <snort> Its posssssssible - I likes my ribsss. <deadpan> No. I may be no better than the scumbag that thought up the king of snakes, and I know you will spend the rest of your days HATING ME for thinking up the characters........ but use that hatred. A good HATE never hurt anyone. I might be dishing out tens of thousands of dollars worth of required therapy... but I'm also providing a MEANS to pay for that therapy. I hand out names and costumes, but what I'm really giving is an OPPORTUNITY... you either wow the kids with your giant killer plant impersonation, or you break free from the plant and make people recognize your personality beyond the costume.

[With any luck this is getting through... Left Tentacle looks ready to level up again, so there's that.]

Vile "Vince" Viper: OPPORTUNITY. Whether you think Pesssci is your new best friend or not, he probably put you in here thinking I would find some way to sneak in an ally and you were the weakest wrestler on the backyard roster. He thought you were WEAK Left... just like Jolt Cola Lad, Feral Boy, and Sssiriusss Man weren't good enough to enter the building. Are you weak Left?

LEFT Tentacle: ...

Vile "Vince" Viper <stick of dynamite in one fist still manages to grab LEFT by the collar>: ARE YOU A WORTHLESSSSSS PIECE OF JOBBER SSSHIT, LEFT?

LEFT Tentacle <coming back to earth>: NO! WHO SAID THAT?!

Vile "Vince "Viper <letting go of Tentacle to wave at the ring above them>: They all did LEFT. Ssso just what exactly are you going to do about it?

LEFT Tentacle: Tell them they hurt my feelings in a strongly worded letter with minimal emoticons!

Vile "Vince" Viper: Does Marcusss Black look like he knows how to read? FUCK EMAILS! Use your damn fists LEFT! Are you LEFT Tentacle because that was your role in the fly trap costume, or are you LEFT Tentacle because of everything you've accomplished over the last seven years? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!

LEFT Tentacle: ME!

Vile "Vince" Viper: ...And even if you end up going to West Coassst after tonight, that's fine... as your agent I'm entitled to 80% of your earnings anyway. ...But tonight in that rumble, remember WHO YOU ARE, WHERE YOU CAME FROM, and WHY YOU'RE FIGHTING. Backyard is in your damn blood. Ssso for all the guys that couldn't be there to help me put Sssoutter in fucking traction - what are you going to do tonight!

LEFT Tentacle: I'm going to protect you no matter what!

Vile "Vince" Viper: That's not good enough! Its not about ME, its about YOU... what are you doing tonight for you!

LEFT Tentacle: I'm WINNING THE RUMBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[...]


[...Vile laughs so hard he's worried he might have aroused the suspicion of security, so he hides a few more bombs just out of frame.]

Vile "Vince" Viper <wiping away tears>: ...Good one LEFT, no, I'm in this fucking rumble. No one can win it but me, realistically, what are you doing for yourself tonight?

LEFT Tentacle: Eliminating Frostbite?

Vile "Vince" Viper: Sssomebody hasss to! IF I have to see another promo with his beard I might start worrying about alzheimer's, seems like he's been doing that boring matrimony shit for decades now. What else?

LEFT Tentacle: Prove to everyone that backyard is the region to watch!

Vile "Vince" Viper: Its too sssophisssticated for these Britisssh convicts, but keep reaching for that impossible dream.

LEFT Tentacle: Let people know that I'm more than just a costume!

Vile "Vince" Viper: Well, even if we can sell a few toys because they like the costume that's a start. That's the spirit my boy. Tonight is an opportunity. Even though you're mainly here to absorb damage because I refuse to sell for Attila Balan on my way to victory, <eyes narrow> and that IS the priority, try to make your own memories. This is your chance.

[Even if he's just making sure that Tentacle if fired up and not disgruntled over Vile trying to break his neck and bring a ringer in to take the suit, LEFT feels like he's seeing the real Viper. He isn't. Stranger things can happen though.]

Vile "Vince" Viper: After all... you have one thing going for you that none of the rest of this scum does... you're the only one in it with a victory over the ssscarlet ssserpent.

[Its true, LEFT Tentacle defeated Viper by fluke which caused the Backyard reality to collapse and led to zombies taking over the federation - Studious Stan.]

LEFT Tentacle: That's true! ...oh, but James Fierce won that stretcher match.

[...]

[The cameraman starts running first...]

Vile "Vince" Viper <raising claws>: SSSON OF A BITCH!

[Even though he was only trying to be helpful, promoting the Backyard New Year Nightmare, it seems that our poor tentacle has once again poked the dragon. Swinging his razor sharp claws, Vile attempts to eviscerate Tentacle... fortunately VVV is so busy hiding bombs that Tentacle has a few second head start.]

[Contingency plans.]

[SWAT Team]

Gitty Up (remix) by Salt N Pepa feat Rufus Blaq hits and Alice bounces out to the entrance way, pumping her left arm in the air to the beat, she jiggies her way down the rampway to the beat high fiving the fans on the way, slides under the bottom rope and crawls to the turnbuckle, climbing each one from her knee’s to her feet sexily, mounting the second buckle and posing for the crowd.

Frank Salazar : The following contest is scheduled for ONE fall and is a first round Amazons tournament match. Introducing first, hailing from Dallas Texas and coming in at 5’8 180 lbs .... SWAT AMAZONS General Manager ... ALICE!!!!!!

The house lights go down, as pink, and blue spotlights go over the crowd. "City of Night Night" by Miracle of Sound begins to play over the speakers. The tron comes to life with an aerial view of Ireland, and then changes to different scenes of the places that Avery had been in her adventuring days. The scene changes to her driving through the streets of London before it switches to what appears to a jungle and a flaming plane. The jeep that she drove comes through the window before changing to another scene of her flying a plane. It soon changes to some of her old matches and the chaos and destruction that she had caused. A spotlight comes to rest at the back of the stage where Avery is standing with her head lowered. As the vocals start she raises her head, and she starts down the ramp way. She poses with a few of the fans letting them get pictures before she heads to the ring. As she reaches the end of the ramp way she sprints to the ring, and leaps up onto the edge of the ring, and slips through the ropes. She hops up onto the nearest ring post and plays to the crowd before hopping down, and removes the leather jacket she wears and waits for the match to begin

Frank Salazar : And introducing her opponent, hailing from Dublin Ireland, coming in at 5’8 & 131 lbs .... AVERY McCULLEN!!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Here we go guys, another first round match up, Amazon GM and SWAT Veteran Alice up against The Daredevil Avery McCullen! What a match up these promises to be.

Andrew Fulton : McCullen talked it up in the lead up, at least that’s what my notes here say, and we all know what Alice can do.

Jeremy Tucker : Referee Bo Brady calls for the bell and this one is under way.

Alice and Avery circle each other warily, Alice offers her hand to Avery who gives a quick shake and release.
Andrew Fulton : How cute. Are they new BFF’s now Jerry?

Jeremy Tucker : Chop by Alice, no effect on Avery, and she delivers a chop of her own, then a right hand that rocks Alice. Alice shrugs it off and delivers a hard left, then a knee to the gut, Avery catches the leg by the knee and T BONE SUPLEX!

Andrew Fulton : Nice. Avery then delivers a drop kick to Alice, and then a Tiger Suplex.

Jeremy Tucker : Alice hits a round house kick on Avery, right on the money.

Andrew Fulton : Alice with a stomp on Avery, another and another. Hard stomps by the new GM.

Jeremy Tucker : Alice mounts the 2nd turnbuckle and deliver a leg drop. Hooks the leg for a cover ........ One .............. Tw ... Avery kicks out.

Andrew Fulton : Punch to the gut by Avery ... Bulldog!

Jeremy Tucker : Avery whips Alice into the corner and then follows her in there and then some corner punches.

Andrew Fulton : Avery wailing away on Alice!

Jeremy Tucker : Alice grabs her around the waist, hoists her up and drops her face first onto the turnbuckle.

Andrew Fulton : Avery just looked like she was going to snap in half.

Jeremy Tucker : Reverse running bulldog by Alice! Throws Avery into the ropes ... SIDE WALK SLAM!!!

Andrew Fulton : Alice on a role .... LION SAULT!! She nailed it ... covers ....

Jeremy Tucker : One ................. Two ...... kick out by McCullen.

Andrew Fulton : Both women back to their feet ... HAYMAKER by Avery! Knocks her lights out!

Jeremy Tucker : She has a lot of fight in her. Alice giving her all she has but Avery reached down deep and just cold clocked her.

Andrew Fulton : Avery’s turn now to stomp on Alice. Stomping the proverbial mudhole in her!

Jeremy Tucker : Avery locks in a Texas Cloverleaf, she synchs it in tight.

Andrew Fulton : Brady asking Alice, and she refuses to give.

Jeremy Tucker : She crawls towards the ropes, Avery puts the brakes on and pulls her back to the centre of the ring. Alice inches towards the ropes again, and gets a finger tip to them, Brady calling for the break.

Andrew Fulton : Alice getting to her feet using the ropes for balance and Avery with a back rake! Love it!

Jeremy Tucker : Alice out of no where with a SUPERKICK!

Andrew Fulton : Devastating!

Jeremy Tucker : Cover from Alice. One ....................... Two .................... Th .. kick out by McCullen.

Andrew Fulton : Alice glares at referee Brady.

Jeremy Tucker : Avery getting back to her feet ... BACK STABBER!!! Alice nailed it! Cover ... hooks the leg .... One ........... Two ............ Thr.. kick out by McCullen.

Andrew Fulton : Doesn’t get much closer than that. Alice signalling its over and now heading to the top rope.

Jeremy Tucker : Alice is perched on the top , flies ..... SENTON BOMB! Noooo! Avery got the knee’s up.

Andrew Fulton : Match changer right there.

Jeremy Tucker : Avery hooks Alice ... Russian legsweep facebuster!

Andrew Fulton : Brutal!

Jeremy Tucker : McCullen looking to put Alice away for good ... UNPRETTIER! Unbelievable! Cover from McCullen ... its over .................... One ............... Two ....................... Thre ... Shoulder up by Alice!

Andrew Fulton : Avery signalling its all over ... hoists Alice up on her shoulders ... GO TO SLEEP!!!

Jeremy Tucker : IRISH EYES!!! That’s got to be it ... cover by McCullen, hooks the leg .......One ................. two ......................... Thre ... Alice gets the shoulder up! I don’t believe it.

Andrew Fulton : Two million big ones on the line Jerry, these two want it and leaving nothing in the tank.

Jeremy Tucker : Both women back on their feet ... JUMPING KRANE KICK by Alice! Daniel son eat your heart out. Alice grabs Avery ..... FALCON ARROW!!! Covers her ........ One ................ Two ............... Thre ... Avery gets the shoulder up!

Andrew Fulton : Avery whips Alice to the ropes, handspring backflip, bounces off the ropes ... PELE KICK FRON ALICE!!!

Jeremy Tucker : What a manoeuvre! Alice heads to the top rope ... SPLASH!!! Got it ... cover again .... One ......................... two .............. thre ... Avery gets a foot on the rope. Alice can’t believe it!

Andrew Fulton : I can’t believe it!

Jeremy Tucker : Avery struggling to her feet, she will NOT give up Fulton! ALICE CUTTAH!!! Wow! Alice with the cover .... hooks BOTH legs ...... One .......................... two .................................. THRE ... kick out by McCullen! Amazing!

Andrew Fulton : What a contest .... Alice going up top again, signalling for the Molly Go round ... no one kicks out of that ....

Jeremy Tucker : Alice launches, spins in the sommersault and legs come around the standing Avery ... WHO CATCHES ALICE AND SPINNING POWERBOMBS HER! You got to be kidding me!

Andrew Fulton : Avery with the cover ....

Jeremy Tucker : One ................. two ................... thre ... Alice gets a shoulder up.

Andrew Fulton : Both women slowly get to their feet, tell me Jerry, no matter who wins this one, how on earth are they going to be able to go on in the next round?

Jeremy Tucker : They won’t. Avery going for a clothesline ... Alice Matrix ducks under it ... hard kick to the knee by Avery .... she had the matrix scouted! Spear! Avery Spears Alice!!

Andrew Fulton : Avery grabs the foot of Alice.... FIGURE FOUR LEG LOCK!

Jeremy Tucker : FOUR LEAF CLOVER! Brady checking on Alice ... she tries to reach the rope ... Avery has it locked in the middle of the ring .... Alice desperately grasping for the rope ... and ..... SHE TAPPED!

Andrew Fulton : Avery Advances! Avery McCullen advances!

Jeremy Tucker : What a match! Alice tapped, she had nothing left in the tank.

Andrew Fulton : Neither of them do Jerry.

City of Night by Miracle of Sound hits and referee Bo Brady raises the arm of Avery in victory.

Frank Salazar : WINNER OF THE MATCH ... AND ADVANCING TO THE 2ND ROUND ..... AVERY McCULLEN!!!

Alice snatches the mic from Frank.

Alice : Hold it right there! That was one hell of a match, one of the best i have ever had ... you girl ... you got IT! You are welcome in the Amazons any time ... and i am going to prepare a contract for you to look over ... in the mean time ..... best wishes and all the best for the remainder of the tournament!

City of Night by Miracle of Sound hits again and Alice raises the arm of Avery ... the crowd going berserk.

[SWAT Team]

(Psychotic Goth is in the lockerroom sitting on the floor his back to the wall shirtless the camera blurs his body out because of the satanic tattoos and symbols all over his body. He is talking to someone out of camera range.)

Psychotic Goth: "The Royal Rumble is going to be my night. It's going to be the ultimate night that nobody shall survive or be the same. I shall destroy and commit carnage the whole of SWAT has never seen or dared to even think or experience."

Voice: "Blood shall be shed and I want blood and souls off all you eliminate. I don't care how you get it I want their blood as a sacrifice to my glory."

Psychotic Goth: "If I have to spill their blood before, during or after the match it doesn't matter. I shall attain the blood you want and I shall walk away the winner of the 2018 Royal Rumble."

Voice: "This is the night you are going to retrieve the queen of your kingdom and you shall prove to be the true 'King of the Goths' and you shall reap destruction upon all your opponents kingdoms."

(Psychotic Goth roars in a strange and ancient dialect.)

Psychotic Goth: "That's what I plan on doing. Everyone's a suspect and I mean everyone whether it's my allies Team Fairtex or KGB. I don't care who it is I want to destroy their kingdoms and ravage their villages until my queen returns."

Voice: "Do not forget that criminal Beelzebozo."

Psychotic Goth: "I won't forget that fuckin son of a bitch and I'm going to feed him a little special concoction. Since he claims his body is toxic waste I shall give him a toxic cocktail and then see how he enjoys the degradation of his internal organs. He shall be a dead man by the time I get through with him."

(They both burst out laughing demonically.)

Voice: "He shall go from being a lost soul to a dead soul to be completely forgotten."

Psychotic Goth: "Yes the Shepherd of Lost Souls shall become a dead soul. The only reason I gave him any attention was because he was so insignificant and needed someone to feel sorry for him. Tonight he shall feel just how it feels to be insignificant again. Beelzebozo shall once again fall into the pit of forgotten souls and the only one he'll be entertaining is Satan and even he will not be able to make him laugh."

Voice: "I know he won't be able to do so."

Psychotic Goth: "Of course not. Meanwhile I shall make it a nightmare for all who dare to get in my way. I shall make sure my promise is kept."

(Psychotic Goth gets up and picks his shirt up and puts it on and the blue disappears and a hand reaches out with an object as Psychotic Goth looks at it.)

Voice: "Here is what I want to place the blood in. I want the blood off all you eliminate or commit carnage against."

Psychotic Goth: "Interesting looking object to place the blood into it. I'll use it to get the blood as you want it and I'll make sure I get it no matter what the cost. Tonight I shall have my revenge as I lead my gothic armies in a massive war to the death. TO THE DEATH! TO THE DEATH!"

Voice: "Yes to the death."

Psychotic Goth: "I, Psychotic Goth, 'The King of the Goths,' 'The Psychotic One' and Satan's Chosen Warrior' shall keep this vow even if I have to die too!"

(He roars and picks up his velvet bag leaving as the voice laughs and the scene slowly fades to black.)

[SWAT Team]

[Meanwhile... just outside the arena, The DEVIL of SWAT makes a some extra blow money by signing autographs for the fans. At least that is what I would like to tell you, the truth is most of these outbackwards rubes are unable of appreciating the momentos that Old Scratch offers. It looks like there will be less recreational drugs for your dear old Uncle Vile to partake in on the flight back. The Cheap Heat Machine mostly avoids the most pathetic members of the commonwealth, he is outside the arena for a reason. Sitting next to the HD Mobile Production Truck that makes most of the video production decisions, 32theV is working attempting to affix a bomb to the vehicles' gas tank...]

[Contingency plans.]

[Spotting the camera, Vile moves from one contingency plan to another - its great to have slight of hand skills. Distraction usually helps, so its fortunate that at that very moment a GIANT NOVELTY KEG - a good twenty feet high - of Foster's Beer is being wheeled into the backstage area.]

Vile "Vince" Viper: JESSSUSSS CHRISSST - that's a real drink?

Security: Its one of the sponsors for tonights event, mate. Pesci doesn't seem to understand how unpopular Fosters is in Australia, so they made the sponsorship list over the vastly superior Victoria Bitter.

Vile "Vince" Viper: Bitter that she colonized this piss pot?

Security: I don't follow... <turning back to the delivery men> alright fellas, they want this right by the curtains at the entrance; you're running late so make sure to get it out there in between matches.

[The delivery men push the massive keg in...]

Vile "Vince" Viper <shaking head in disgust>: God I hate this country... what's next a giant boot?

[...Another massive sponsorship prop rolls up. Shooting the massive Blundstone advertisement a dirty look, Vile stomps off, chatting up security is not why he's loitering around the parking lot. No instead he decides to go walkabout, keying cars of the loyal fans...]

Vile "Vince" Viper: I figured it would be easier to talk SSSWAT stars into fighting the good fight if I caught them out here one on one instead of in the locker room... help them to see things MY way. ...But the smell out here is making me sick. I thought it was New Zealand that reeked of methane, <waving the air around his nose> god damn.

Take it from an old hand, when it comes to Royal Rumbles, it should be about who the better man is... but there are so many other factors, chance, who is gunning for you, who will leave you alone to rest... me... on the last show the ENTIRE FUCKING LOCKER ROOM tried to skin me alive... actually took sides with the KGB over ME! The fucking KGB? ...So let's look at who has my back...

"The Outlaw" Morrisss Bassssss... one of the most dominating personalities in RAW-Carolina and all its many spinoffs, a dozen federations that lived in fear of that glorious badass. When I look in my rolodex, I only coax the VERY BEST out of retirement! Sadly Morrisss will not be actively involved in the rumble, standing at ringside to provide me emotional support. That's ok, a guy like Bassssss gives AMAZING emotional support. I'm hoping he knocks a few teeth out of Beelzebozo'sss mouth with his emotional support. The upside to not having Bassssss in the ring is that at the end of the match I can claim it was ME AGAINST THE WORLD. Plus his first official match will be taking the international title off of Phoenix's bastard... how sweet it is.

Of the guys who are actively participants... I feel like me and Psychotic Goth are both on the same wavelength. We both surround ourselves with women to show how totally straight we are... we both wear black... we both use audio ques in our promotional videos to induce SPLITTING HEADACHES in our competition. He's like a young me. Now, Goth and his Fairfax supporters might not trust me further than they can throw me... <pearly yellows> I wouldn't trust me either. That just shows how intelligent my new friends are... at the end of the day, I think me and Goth have an understanding. Even if he hates well wishing, its a sight better than Sssoutter'sss laughing at poor Vampira'sss fate. So if it comes down to the two of us and the KGB? I know he'll do the right thing until he turns his attention to me.

Team Fairfax? The Anzac Cup winners? They seem pretty tight with Goth, so with any luck they'll keep to themselves until it becomes an issue...

...LEFT Tentacle... thanks for that Pesssci.

...and lastly is Damian Payne... who I have a long history with Sadistic Insanity, longer than I have with Damian Payne. <chuckle> Payne has always been a dependable and loyal friend, strong as an ox. Since he seems to be in a pissing contest with Goth, it'll be a little uncomfortable for me to pick sides, but we do have almost two decades of war stories behind us. I can sleep through the rumble better, knowing that Payne has my back...

[This is usually where things take a dark turn...]

Vile "Vince" Viper: "We have history... most of it good... but make no mistake, if you get in my way you're going over the top rope." ...Et tu Payne? I'm taking on THE ENTIRE FUCKING ROSTER... you are the ONE MAN that I can count on to not ACTIVELY try to eliminate me, and even you are doing the passive aggressive threats? <pained smile> No friends in a royal rumble I guess... everyone else seems to have friends... but fine... if you want to play that game... we'll PLAY THAT GAME. FUCK EVERYONE...

Damian... you disssappoint me... and I *MAY* not step in when you have your pissssssing contessst with Goth.

And the Fairfax boysss? How many guys had to take a powder on the Anzac Cup for you two to win it? I'm guessing that was the same night that Dan Ssstein OD'd in the dressing room? Back when Cobryn decided to slink off to the middle of nowhere and hide from my challenges like a bitch. The greatest tag team in SSSWAT! Its no wonder that there aren't any other tag teams... yeah Funny Busssinessssss, I'm talking shit about you too. Having the Fairfax kids names mentioned prominently in the champion's roll call did more to hurt business over 2017 then I ever did. I suppose I should send you two a gift basket for that, but I'm much rather manipulate your body parts to insert one of you into the other. Make it even harder for the rest of SSSWAT to figure out which one of you is which... and while I have little doubt it will be harder getting you both eliminated when one's head is stuck up the other's ass, have faith in THE GOD OF WRESSSTLING!!!!!

[Damn. Haven't heard that nickname in awhile, seems like Viper is about to go old school on all of you.]

Vile "Vince" Viper: You two might suck, but at least you're sucking about the same amount as normal. What about Attila Balan? Hey robot - haven't heard much from you since this match was started. Its almost like you won the last place, and completely gave up because the victory is so easy its below you. Well check what's actually below you, because when I send you crashing to the floor like any other electronic gizmo I have zero inclination of fucking operating, I hope there is someone below you. Your clown boyfriend or the moose, just so long as your weight breaks someone's neck. Not trying because it would be too easy? What would your programers say you pathetic piece of shit! If you want a challenge GIVE ME YOUR LASSST PLACE SSSPOT... otherwise act like you give a damn. <spitting venom> I'm going to enjoy eliminating you lassst.

Daniel Collinsss... the international champion that refuses to tour in backyard. Collinsss, I hope you liked being the regional champion when there was only one region. King shit in a pool that only involved CSSSK and Timelessssss. I always thought instead of international they should have called your strap the "Slightly better than CSK and Timeless, thank god for dusty finishes" title. You wear it well. Of course, with all these new regions popping up that title's stock is rising, so is yours, through no fault of your own. It was be a crying shame... career ending really... if you were to drop the title in your first defense against someone who wasn't CSSSK or Timelessssss. Now your father isn't high on favorite persons list, but you seem to be a horrible disappointment to him, which I can appreciate - so I'll give you some friendly advice. Eliminate yourself the FIRST OPPORTUNITY you get... I'm going after the Southern belt so am not interested in your International title match, but if you want ANY CHANCE against my boy Bass... you need to be the freshest face in that match. You weren't going to win the rumble anyway, so take the easy way out... by which I mean, kill yourself.

My fellow massive python club member, Timelessssss Alex Turner is also making an appearance. I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say, we're glad that SSSWAT decided the Midwest was a viable option for a new territory, and not the worst business decision in the history of wrestling... JUST SO Turner would have some place to wrestle. I mean it would be damned embarrassing if Phoenix force fed us Collinsss/Turner like they were main eventers, and the moment one of them got turfed he couldn't get a job anywhere else. I've taken a liking to Timelessssss, despite the fact that being in such close proximity to Roxy has seen me followed around by giant killer crabs. Welcome back Turner, do us all a favour, and avoid Daniel Collinsss like the plague... it never ends well for you.

After boring us all to tears with his typical a day in the life of Frossstbite... complete with awkward family exchanges that make me think he pays Linda by the hour, did he actually claim I was an old man who had just shown up to try to relieve past glory---------LIKE THAT ISN'T EXACTLY WHAT HE'S DOING!?! I've been fostering this federation for the last half year, feeding off of it like a parasite... I put in my time, and continue to be a standard of excellence! But where are our manners, we should catch up. How was Linda's menopause? I bet you advertised a shit ton of pay per views discussing that dry heat chestnut. Frossstbite... outside of name dropping, and the deep rooted drama of who wears the pants in the family, you really haven't shaken up your act in the decade I've been slightly annoyed by your presence. You were a dick who had all his priorities fucked up in Ssshootfire, you were a dick who nobody liked in ICWF... I think you were wrestling a bear on the undercard to my big Tanner fight, probably the biggest payday of your career. So the next time your fondling your escort slash wife's sagging botched implant breasts, just remember that you paid for them with money made off of MY SSSTAR. I hope you last long enough in the rumble to join us viable contenders in the end, and stick around in Sssouthern Ssstatesss long enough to give me an EASY title win... but the truth is? Much like all your domestic bliss, Frossstbite, I don't see your tired act lasting too long, because WE ALL KNOW who wears the pants in the family.

That brings us to the REAL threat of the evening... TJ Daniel... now I am unfamiliar with Daniel's work, so I'll just have to look him up on the internet...

[Reaching into his snakeskin coat pocket, Vile produces a blackberry... which he uses because hoodrats still insist on BBM. Taping away with his razor sharp talon...]

Vile "Vince" Viper <reading a wikipedia page>: Hrm... according to the internet, TJ Daniel is the product of a human and a warthog. <holding up phone to show pictures of a pigman> Very interesting. Was your mother the pig or was your father? While I'm looking up the guys that no one knows about or gives a shit about, lets google search Bobby Maplesss, Justin Black, and Sssasuke Daiki...

Nothing. Damn. Sorry guys. I figured we could get Maplesss on Tree husbandry at least. Well the good news is that Justin Black isn't a member of Dean Green's stable... just as pathetic, but that's a step in the right direction.

Flamboyant Red - the lady killing colour coordinated sex bomb... now Red, my understanding is that your parents didn't love you, how could they, but provided you with a silver spoon. Even your nannies thought you were a loser. To fight against the establishment you became the world's shittiest MMA fighter... with a right hand so bad, you quickly turned your attention to professional wrestling. Where was your head at, Red? I might suck at hurting people, but at least this variation has prettier tights? I'm glad you have a way with the ladies... it must be your charming trust fund. When I talk about stars being insulated? This RIGHT HERE... THIS is what I'm talking about. There is no way in hell a never was like you will ever get to put your filthy street fighting gloves on me. Chrissst, for your pedigree you're a step below Hobofighting.

Meanwhile his partner El Exotico.... I can't tell you how relieved we all are to hear that you have decided to wait in Atlantic Coassst until Ssslain gets over his nervous breakdown. We will miss your questionable homophobia, and passing gender confusion. That shit will never get old. If this is the last time we ever get to appear in the ring together... <tries to prevent a happy dance> ..well... its been something.

So I've heard there's a fairly popular group called the Barrier or some shit... Dean Green and his posse of brain damaged frat boys DESPERATELY want to be this popular group. They don't want to be wrestlers... don't for a SECOND think that Dean Green aspires to professional wrestling. He just wants to be like one VERY SPECIFIC wrestler... probably dreams of the day his two friends run the train on him while they all wear matching vests. How the hell did you get involved in this Green? While I appreciate the trollish attempts at imitation, its all rather amateur. Forget eliminating you, if you somehow manage to throw a punch at me, consider this rumble to be the low point of my career.

BISSSHOP... do you ever get the feeling the KGB looks at their role call... which includes CSssK, a guy who hasn't really been there for the entire run of Atlantic Coast, and BRUNO... who is some sort of retirement package joke... in a stable consisting of those guys, AND PESCI, there is one name that everyone regrets. Ssscottie Edwardsss... you have a great look, reminds me of the mid-90s when everyone was a roided out monster impossibly large, who no doubt lost all control of their bowels two years later due to all the meds they were sucking down before dying of a heart attack. The good news is Ssscottie, we only have to suffer for you for another two years. The bad news? There is no bad news! You make the KGB look like the Dental Dam or whatever Dean Green is calling his protective group. Rank amateurs. For all the shit I've done to the KGB over the past few months, absolutely NOTHING was as bad as what they did to themselves when they let you in. I guess they REALLY hated Hell's Bouncer... I can see that... dude cut this one {Mongo Edit: Nah we don't say that anymore} promo calling everyone out, and I'm pretty sure Fierce is going to kill him. Bishop you are a knock knock of a joke, that I hope the KGB continues to tell for the rest of their days. Break a leg in the rumble <thoughtful pause> I really mean that.

Hell'sss Bouncer... you hang out with Lucifer and don't know who I am? I know a lot of guys have been giving you shit for your incredibly stupid name... but let me play Agatha Christie for a minute, because I think I've cracked this place. Imagine there's this place called hell... not the underworld where sinners go when they die... not THAT Hell. No. A dive bar that has trouble keeping staff, that only rats and roaches are willing to be seen at, best known as the top spot to catch AIDS and the plague at the same time... with a jukebox that plays Sssusssan Boyle all day long because I REALLY hate that song. Unable to afford the peanuts required to hire the stupidest man on earth, the manager lets call him Lucy, decides to hire the most {Mongo Edit: Nah we don't say that anymore} man on the earth. Someone who believes this twelve by five space is hades, and doesn't mind getting strapped to the establishment's glory hole in lieu of pay. If that's the Hell you work at Bouncer, I have great news... after this little rumble you can spend a lot more time there... because you're the only Atlantic Coassst refugee more pathetic than your arch nemesssisss Bissshop. Your feud is like the Jar Jar Binks of wrestling, we really hope you just die, and get retconned out of our collective memories.

A lot of sketchy wannabe regions are growing out of the woodwork. Midwessst? That place with the farmers daughters that look like real farmer's daughters, and the Trump politics? Yeah, they got people. Sssouthern Ssstatesss? The one where Jimmy Fierce is king? THAT recruits people. Even the West Coast managed to snag LEFT Tentacle, so it must be doing something right. ...So if all these fly by night organizations can pull it off.......... follow my train of thought here... WHAT THE HELL IS THE DRAGON EMPIRE DOING WRONG? What the hell is Tatsssuo Takessshi doing wrong? Are you offering leprosy with membership? How has Mr. Green not fired you out of a cannon? You had ONE JOB but since you couldn't win at wrestling, they gave you a second job, and you suck at that too. If you want to commit ritualistic suicide Takessshi, I can ressspect your decisssion. There are SO MANY wrestlers that disappear after one show, just LIE and pretend they are part of the dragon empire so we can stop feeling so sorry for you. That Sssamoan Aloni guy? Cade Corseco? Great hire! We're all very proud of you.

NOW... a lot of people are down on the Enigmatic Creature, because he hasn't really show us much yet. All I know is anyone from Aussstralia called The Bandit, can be all bad... do I want a younger, cooler version of Sssoutter running around? NAH! That Ausssssssssie bastard is Sssoutter enough for all of us. Still Enigmatic Creature, I hear your parents kicked it old school... lot of rampant drug abuse in your family. That's tough. I don't know if you have an appearance fee for getting the shit kicked out of you tonight, or if you work on a barter system where you take over Hell'sss Bouncer'sss glory hole for a warm meal, but if you have any casssh... I'm sure we can hook you up with enough blow for you to forget that your parents OD'd because you disssappointed them.

Ssspeaking of family... that brings us to my PROBABLY ssson, Kilroy Evansss. Ssson... you're a chip off the old block, and if anyone was going to win this other than me, I'm glad its you. Knock 'em dead!

...Now Dave Brickheart is a guy who proudly proclaims that he was the 83rd best wrestler in the world back when I was number one. 2005. I can ressspect anyone who appreciates that how much higher I am on the totem pole. Thinking of number 83 being the only thing that Pesssci has done, other than bankrupt the company, since becoming a more prominent part of the brand... that brings a huge smile to my face. Way to go, Pesssci. I guess the question is... has Dave gotten 82 times better since our heyday? I know I have. ...Becaussse there aren't 81 guys standing between us... just 30... math is not stacking up in your favor, Brickheart. ...And even if you fondly remind me of a pleasant time in my life, you seemed a little too chummy with Pesci when you came it... so it looks like I'm going to have to chop you down to size.

I know Matt Ryno came in with a lot of fan fair from ICW and GWF... I'll be honest, I don't know much about Ryno, so I'll do a quick google search to discover just what makes the Jersey Devil kick...

[Reaching into his snakeskin coat pocket, Vile produces a burner phone. Taping away with his razor sharp talon...]

Vile "Vince" Viper <reading a wikipedia page>: Hrm... according to the internet, Matt Ryno is the product of a cow and a basssssset hound. <holding up phone to show pictures of a Jersey Devil> Fascinating stuff. From your slopping forehead there could only be a few possibilities. ...Was your mother the cow or the hound? Did you acquire any special skills from this unholy union? Possible an extra utter? I have to say, I had no idea that GWF was letting in cross-species wrestlers, let alone lowlifes from Jersssey. What does it take for a cow to give it up for a dog? I hope you have a little more conviction of will then your whore mother did, Ryno... otherwise how are you going to survive more than two minutes in the rumble? If you get eliminated in record time, I might laugh at how shitty the GWF is until my throat is sore... you don't want me to get a ssssssssssssssssssore throat do you? Man up... or Jersey Devil up... <scowl> just don't piss on the ring you animal.

Going into this rumble, a lot of people are saying Logan Burgesssssss. <snort> Ok, NO ONE is saying that. A journeyman wrestler like me... gets around to a lot of places... but part of accepting money from everyone is no showing half the gigs. They don't call me the King of Flakes because my cheques casssh. Ssssssso Burgesssssss has a reputation as the reject of wrestling. Everywhere he goes, people reject him. "Get out of here you can't wrestle for shit." Or "leave us alone reject, you're too damn ugly." Or "Stop trying to fuck that pig, Logan Burgess don't you know that's where Matt Ryno comes from!" It just doesn't seem fair. So you come to SSSWAT, wanting to find one place that puts up with your stench of desperation... but you're worried that once we get to know the REAL Logan Burgessssss, we'll reject you too. ...So you flake, and don't put any effort into cutting interviews, or training for your matches; you WANT us to reject you. Not here Logan... not here. SSSWAT is nothing if not accepting. If Marcus Black can survive for a year without getting fired, even your childish cries for attention will go unnoticed. I hope you last an incredibly long time Logan, despite everyone else calling you a hack of a dickweed... whatever that is.

Bussster Friendly. The poor man's Vile Viper. That still makes you better than everyone else here... but I hate half hearted tributes... the Beelzebozo that is completely patterned after my greatness would have drank himself to death years ago... yet you linger on. Shame that. I guess we can blame your Robot keeper for your recent lack of excess. I guess what really bothers me, is you picking on poor Vampira. Oh sure, I've kidnapped my fair share of family in the past - christ if I'd heard that smack that Payne was talking any earlier, and his daughters might be valets in backyard, but Vampira? Not cool Beelzebozo. I'm pretty sure my new bessst friend Psychotic Goth will put you in your place long before I get a chance to trade whiskey shots, but just in case you manage to hang on after his revenge? Drinks are on you.

What can you say about Marcusss White? No that was a real question. Marcus... if your mentor Tum Tum could see what a walking joke you had become... moreso, he'd roll over in his grave.

We have any other non-entities for me to use as excuses to look up sketchy pornography? Oh right... Joey Morelli. Pesssci's nephew. How does that help anyone? The very fact that Bruno didn't rank a spot just shows how insurable his knees are... you have an evil stable full of non-wrestlers, so the one guy you bring in even the score is one of Joey's faux mafia family members? Wasn't there a storm trooper mask you cold paint silver? Oh I forgot the silver stormtrooper is finally cool. Sorry tug. Look Morelli... I know you think your Uncle did you a real solid by sticking you towards the end... but... follow my thoughts here. You aren't going to win, because you suck, have no build up, and are basically a crony. With no chance of winning putting you at the end ensures you're with the cream of the crop. How exposed do you want to be in your first match? If you admit that Pesci touched you as a kid, I may let you get out of the rumble with most of your teeth.

...Am I forgetting anyone? No? Then I'll just wait for the big event...

[Arriving at a thunderbird, Viper climbs up on his hood and leans back, starring up at the sky...]

Vile "Vince" Viper: ...You know... Sssoutter seems to be having a huge change of heart lately. Like he's having guilt pangs over his treatment of women... even though he's basically enable Pesssci for the past year. As a monster, I can appreciate him CONTINUING to exploit that waitress' accident like a true villain... but he's just crazy enough to buy his own hype. That is a lot of self-doubt... I really wonder what Jamesss Fierce is doing, following him.

[Raising his eyebrows, Vile turns his pink pupils down towards the camera with a coy smile.]

Vile "Vince" Viper: How is the beard looking, Jamesss? ...The one ally that no one expected. Why should we work together? Let me answer that with a question of my own, why do you follow Sssoutter? Are you such a moonshine swilling redneck loser that your main ambition in life is to stare up at the ceiling and diddle your cousin whenever you're able to get it up? Telling yourself that eating the roadkill possums will help you get it up? Is that all you aspire to? ...Let me clue you in Jimmy, you can do better.

When you first got in... I imagine BRUNO was a big deal... physically. Sssoutter commanded a lot of respect, metaphorically. CSSSK pulled his weight, literally. ...Did Pesssci give you the cushy rumble spot, or did he give it to his cousin? What group of men have you attached yourself to? Are you a born follower?

What happened to you Jimmy? A few too many injuries, real life taking you for a ride... when did it become easier to sit back and follow the Sssoutter show? If he's KING SHIT... the top guy... the meanest guy around, why does he have a hard time beating anyone who isn't Marcusss? Why can't he get a title to save his life? Why do you support a man like that? Think you can learn something? If you are trying to pick up on how to be a worse human being, you can shadow me for awhile. Sssoutter? Where is your ambition, Jimmy?

For once in your miserable existence, go against your genetic makeup, and do the right thing.

...As for Sssoutter...

Paul... must be nice to be in front of the home crowd. I just wanted to thank you. I enjoyed spilling your blood in vegas, but in front of your family and friends? Its like Chrissstmasss all over again. Just remember... last month you were fighting an entire league and you couldn't get it done... this month? You have a whole league helping you. ...Is that going to feel like victory? I'm going to miss you when you head off to sunny California... but maybe I can leave you a few broken ribs to remember me by.

Man: What are you doing on my car?

[Uh oh, the locals are restless. Climbing off the thunderbird, Vile makes sure to use his steel doc martins to tap a few more bumps into the hood before heading back towards the arena. The camera runs alongside him...]

Vile "Vince" Viper: ...Tonight... we have clownsss, robotsss, Aussstraliansss, people from countries that aren't embarrassing, redneck assassins, slimy monster assassins, attention assassins, losers, bores, so many characters with daddy issues you'd think it was a default option box that HR checks off, eight people pretending to be psychotic, homophobic stereotypes that are highly offensive, and a lot of homosexuals as well. Its a rich tapestry of weird. Diversity at its finest. All these wonderful characters have ONE thing in common...

...to me...

<eyes narrow> You are nothing but Rumble Fodder!

[Vile makes it back to security before the mob of fans that are pissed about their scuffed up vehicles can lynch him. Maybe you'll get the chance? Keep dreaming kids.]

[Contingency plans.]

[SWAT Team]

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.“
Thomas A. Edison


The scene opens on the backstage area where we find Avery McCullen after her match against Alice. Her heart was pounding against her chest, and she was still breathing hard. The match had been amazing and one that she couldn't believe that she had won. She had faced the GM of the Amazons an she had gained her respect. Avery stops at a table filled with water and grabs a bottle before heading back to her locker room. She soon reaches it and there stood Shaun and Marty. They applaud her as she walks inside and sits on the bench in front of the lockers, and leans back pouring the water over her face. She opens her eyes and lets out a sigh as she looks over at her cousins.

Marty: That was an amazing match!

Avery: Thank you. It wasn't easy that's for sure. I mean she put me through my paces and has even invited to join with the Amazons.

Shaun: Are you going to take her up on her offer?

Avery: I don't know. When I win the title then I'll stay, but if not I'm not sure.

Marty: I think you should. I mean these so called amazon's are not as good as you are.

Avery: No one likes a kiss ass Marty... Except me.

The three of them laugh as she gets up from where she sits.

Shaun: What we're just telling you the truth. I mean you've been through a lot and managed to survive more than what you should have ever managed to came out of.

Avery: True enough. I'm going to get a shower. Why don't you two go and get a couple of drinks for us before the next round...

Marty: Right. We'll be back in a few minutes.

She walks into the shower, and soon we see the pale skin of the Daredevil as she slips into the shower letting her muscles relax at least for a little while. The steam starts to rise around her and the scene starts to change...


The Lotus Bath House
Beijing China
5 Years Ago

The scene opens on the beautiful city of Beijing China. The bright lights of the city cast their glow over the river that wound its way past the city, as the sounds of sirens echoed through the night. The smells from the local restaurants that lined the streets drifted through the air. The camera comes to a stop on the Lotus Bath House where we see a familiar face with two others. It is Avery, Dick and Teddy. The three of them stand on the outside staring up at the Bath House.

Avery: Are you sure this is the right place?

Dick: That's what Cho said. He said it was the best place in the city.

Teddy: We could use some down time.

Avery sighs and they head inside where they find a young man behind the counter. He walks around the counter, and moves toward them.

Wong: Welcome to the Lotus Bath House. Cho called ahead and said to expect you.

Dick: Great.

Wong: Come on there handsome you and the big slab of man meat come with me. And honey I'll get you into your bath.

The three of them look at each other as they head toward the separate baths for men and women. The walls were done in a deep red with golden designs that ran along the wall. Chinese dragons lined the ceilings, as he hands Avery a towel and a bar of soap before she disappears. She is soon dressed in a light pink robe, as she enters the bath, and she drops it before slipping into the warm water letting the steam that filled the room around her. She leans against the edge of the pool as a sound of high heels are heard on the ceramic floor. Soon a tall woman with dark hair appears. Her strange eyes moved about the bath, and smiles as she spots Avery sitting by herself.

Woman: I hope you don't mind the company.

Avery: Of course not.

She slips into the water, across from Avery and sits quietly for a few moments.

Woman: You look like your mother.

Avery: Excuse me?

Woman: I'm sorry. You even have her eyes.

Avery looks puzzled as the woman smiles.

Avery: You knew my mother?

Woman: I know both of your parents. You have taken after both of them. You are so much better than the ones you're helping. You should come and work for me.

Avery: Doing what?

Woman: More than being a getaway driver... And mechanic. You would be treated as an equal and respected like you should be!

Avery: I am respected by Dick, and Teddy... And Doctor Lander.

Woman: The old man would get into your parents if you let him. Dick is a drunk and well the professor... He has nose in books to often for my taste.

Avery: Thank you for the offer, but I'm happy where I am.

The woman just nods and smiles as she gets to her feet, and gets out of the water.

Woman: If you ever change your mind Avery, call me. I left a card in your robe pocket.

She soon disappears back into the changing room leaving Avery alone once again.


Present Day
We soon see Avery standing under the running water, and she turns it off and grabs a towel from the rack beside the shower. She takes a deep breath and dries off. She walks back out into the locker room, and gets dressed, before she starts to dry out her hair.

Avery: That was one hell of a match, I'll give you that. But now I have to face off against the He-Man wannabe. Evil Lynn... I'm glad that you made it to the second round, but I'm telling you right now you're not going to get any further. You see I'm looking to get that 2 million, and the Amazon Title. I know I still have to get through the rest but that doesn't matter at least for now. I'll deal with them when I get to them. But first you will have to step up against me, and look at what I did to Alice. I mean I gave her a chance to try to win but she didn't. But she still showed me respect as I did her. You didn't even focus on anyone else but the opponent that stood before you. You didn't even look to the future. Or anyone else that could possibly be facing you. I made sure to say something to everyone just in case I made it pass the first round, and I have. And now you and I will face off and I will put you down no matter what you try to do to stop me.

She grabs her sneakers and slips them on her feet, and leans back against the lockers.

Avery: I don't know if I will get any further in this match, but then again, I might just get to the top and win it all. After all I've held titles in other companies and in most cases not defeated until something happened and I lost, even then though it was months before I let one title go. If and when I get the Amazon Title I'm not letting it go, at least not that easy. If you really want to win this match, then you better bring your best to the ring, and show me why you deserve that title. Good Luck to you Evil Lynn... You're going to need it.

She smiles and gets to her feet, before heading out of the locker room, as the scene fades to black.

[SWAT Team]

The scene shoots to the ramp way as the arena lights drop to a dark orange. A fast montage of HPWA Commisioner Phoenix plays

*GONG!* Fog rolls out and a circle of fire lights on the stage. A flash shot of TKOW showrunner Phoenix is shown.

*GONG!* A deep voice booms out "Time to Rise!" as the tron lights up with fiery lettering spelling out "Rise Like the Phoenix", and a flash shot of Phoenix crushing Cobryn with a steel chair.

*GONG!* The stage and turnbuckles explode with flame pyro as 'Phoenix' by Stratovarious blares out, and fast motion clips play of Phoenix delivering the Phoenix Driver to a bevy of opponents, including D-Matic, Matt Griffen, Soutter, Adam Haven, Johnny Styles, RDS, Syberus, Clench, Dustin Hughes, Dan Stein, Tobias Burden, Dave Rave, Mars, Soulfly, Dusty Dynamite, and Jace Mingla.

Phoenix makes his way out from backstage, dark red flame stitched suit on, T.H. Power's signature metal briefcase in hand, as the crowd roars seeing his black metal bat in his other hand. Phoenix begins making his way down towards the ring as the haze dissipates, arms outstretched, playing up the crowd with a smirk.
PX: Twenty seventeen. A hell of a year for SWAT!

[The crowd roars it's agreement]

PX: You know what they say about all good things, though...

[Yeah no. The crowd doesn't like THAT thought, and boos, hisses, and throws out a few color comments. The President just motions for them to reign it in.]

PX: So while it's pretty widely known what's going on following the Rumbles, let me be the guy that announces everything, just lays it out for you.

First and foremost, at this time, ACW is on hiatus. That frees up the Atlantic Coast for any entrepenuring fed to roam in SWAT's name; FOR NOW. Stefan Slain has gotten buried in a number of other matters, both business and personal, and requested time off to deal. A number of us within SWAT have run feds before. We understand the workload, we understand the pressure, we damn sure understand not wanting to have your baby be in anyone elses hands. When Slain's back, ACW will reopen, and I'm sure he'll have any number of fighters knocking on his door. Until then, we here at SWAT wish you all the best, and hurry back.



PX: Unfortunately, that means Beelzebozo, while technically retaining the ACW Championship, is no longer officially a champion. When Slain returns, he can decide how to proceed with you from there. Great match though. I look forward to seeing what's next from you.

As of right now, we ARE opening two new regions. The Southern States, and the XWCW will be our new West Coast. The members of the Atlantic Coast will be shuffled between the two, with two exceptions. Myself, of course, as I don't currently hold a wrestlers contract, and the International Title holder. Any SWAT branded title is a touring belt, be it within regions here in SWAT or even outside the company. As such, the belt holder will NOT be beholden to any one region. Obviously at this time, thanks to his successful defense in the Brutality Cage, Daniel Collins will be finally touring with that belt, and as such, I am thrilled to announce that at the first Southern States event, Friday Night Fight on February 3rd, he will be defending that title in a FOUR CORNERS ELIMINATION MATCH against...

"Industrial Man" Atilla Balan.

"The Outlaw" Morris Bass

And.

"Dragon King" Tatsuo Takeshi.

Good luck to the champion. He's go-

??: That's enough of that!

[Two people make their way down the ramp way, interrupting Phoenix, we see one is Roxy, and man, is she smoking! Hot damn! A gentleman in a business suit is accompanying her and he has a mic.]

PX: What up Roxy? This your new meal ticket? Need a new sugar daddy since Timeless got the chop from Atlantic Coast? (under his breath) even though everyone is going to a new home and he made a big song and dance about announcing his here at the rumble.

Business Man : Allow me to introduce myself. You can call me MR FORBES!

PX: Well ..... Mr Forbes ... is it? If you want to associate with the likes of that ... i only have two words for you ..................... (wait for it) ................ USE PROTECTION!!!

[Crowd hoop and holler, PX is really impressed with himself and Roxy is livid, pointing and yelling and slamming her hand down hard on the ring the crowd erupting in a chant]

Crowd : Use Pro Tection!

Use Pro Tec tion!

Use Pro Tec tion!

Use Pro Tec tion!

Use Pro Tec tion!

Use Pro Tec tion!

Mr Forbes : Thanks for the tip. Now let me give you a little tip. You see, you are right about one thing, it is a new Era here at SWAT, and i .... i am opening the newest region ... SWAT MID WEST!!!

And meet my first signing!

[WHAM! Superkick to Phoenix! Timeless Alex Turner has just slid in the ring from behind and cleaned Phoenix’s clock with a devastating Superkick.]

Roxy : (snatching the mic from Forbes now all three in the ring, Timeless bouncing around delighted with himself) PROTECT THAT!

[Roxy hands the mic to Forbes and mounts Phoenix, standing over him, one leg to each side of his face, she grinds around sexily waving her hips, then WHAM! Splits! Roxy drops in the splits right on top of Phoenix’s face.]

Andrew Fulton : Some people get all the luck.

Forbes : That’s right SWAT!

[Mr. Forbes looks around the arena slowly as we hear a mixed reaction from the crowd.]

Forbes: Take a good look, the best SWAT has to offer! Hell, the WORLD has to offer! And locked in with Mid West baby! Not only that, but we will capture future hall of famers and bring them with us from anywhere we want to. Midwest will be the number one territory in SWAT, and that my friends, is a promise!

Next week will be our first show in the Mid West and we will be doing a LIVE FACEBOOK DRAW for the card!

[Roxy wiggles down off of Phoenix’s face and is straddled on his chest, she reaches into her cleavage, and pulls out a blue ribbon, which she stuffs in PX’s gob as Mr. Forbes looks over to Timeless with a cocky smile before handing Timeless the mic.

Timeless : Like father like son! Thanks Prez. Thanks for your participation, in the announcement of Mid West opening and it’s grand signing! Coming up next .... watch me win the Royal rumble and toss 29 pieces of trash over the top rope.

I am the ultimate male supreme!

Every breathing woman’s wet dream!!

A god damn wrestling machine!!!

[Timeless drops the mic as Mr. Forbes stands between both Timeless and Roxy. Mr. Forbes grabs the wrists of both of them and raise them in the air high above their heads.]

[SWAT Team]

V/O: HEY KIDS! IT'S BEELZEBOZO TIME!

[Under the Big Top, we find Buster Friendly sitting at a loom, weaving a tapestry. He is clearly intoxicated, barely able to stay seated as he works the foot pedals.]

BF: Pathetic Goth thinks he is the only one who can use craftsman skills in a promo? Think again, you whiney emo loser! Using an anvil in a sweaty forge is just as cliche as everything else about you. REAL MEN WEAVE TEXTILES, BITCH!

[Beelzebozo admires his handiwork. Admittedly, the work is awful. Buster has no idea how to use a loom, plus he is wasted on whiskey and pain pills. His work is terrible. Not "Hell's Bouncer Promo" levels of awful, but pretty bad.]

BF: Look at that artistry! I haven't seen anything that creative since I programmed Marcus White's last promo into Google Translate and tried to turn it into English. Oh, what an adventure that was!

[Buster wipes his nose with the textile and tosses it to the ground.]

BF: Psychotic Goth, for some reason you think I kidnapped your girlfriend. This is obviously not true. For starters, you spend your time listening to mediocre heavy metal, pounding an anvil with no shirt on. You clearly have no interest in women. Secondly, I am far too drunk to successfully pull of a crime like that. Third, you got your information from Vile "Vince" Viper! The guy is a self professed snake! You believe a serpent? My God, you are even dumber than your gimmick!

[Bozo takes a swig of whiskey.

BF: Let me play Devil's Advocate. Suppose I kidnapped ...... whatever her name is. I care so little about you or some tramp you are infatuated with, I can't even be bothered to remember her name. Why would I kidnap her? What would be my motivation? To try to throw you off your game?

[Beelze lifts up the ACW Heavyweight title.]

BF: I don't need to play mind games with you.....I already beat you straight up. I'm better than you. I don't need an edge.

[Bozo tosses the belt to the side.]

BF: I certainly have no sexual motivation. I don't know what this whore looks like, but she has such little self worth the allegedly let a guy named "Psychotic Goth" sink his battleship in her. That is so pathetic, even I wouldn't lower myself to that level. I hate myself, but even I have my limits.

BF: You know what, Goth? I can't even be mad at you. You are being manipulated, and you are too stupid to realize it. It's not your fault you are so stupid. You can only work with what you were genetically given. Maybe your parents are siblings. Maybe you were just conceived with weak sperm. Like, maybe your dad was jacking off and your mom sat on it at the last second. It's not your fault you should have been a blowjob. I don't blame you at all.

[Buster looks angry.]

BF: I blame Vile "Vince" Viper!

[The Clown Prince of Chaos spits on the ground.]

BF: VVV, I don't know why you included me in your little game. I don't care, either. But you will pay for it. You see, I was out. I faced Goth, and I kicked his ass and took his title. I was done with that loser. It was on to bigger and better things. But just when I thought I was out, you dragged me back in.

BF: I don't mind fighting Goth again. I beat him before, and can do so again. Ut isn't the match that has me so mad.....it's the fact that now I have to listen to his annoying rambling! And the words aren't bad enough.....but the settings!

BF: First he is in a forge, smithing a weapon to use against me. Now he is in some lab concocting a secret potiom he wants me to drink. This is going to sound super ironic coming from an evil clown......but holy Hell, are you a wrestler or a super villain?!? Get a hold of yourself!

[Buster shakes his head in sadness.]

BF: Viper, I don't know why you started this with me, but please know, we are now at war. Two armies will clash with SWAT as our field of battle. The King of the Snakes and the King of the Vagabonds. The Scarlet Serpent against the Clown Prince of Chaos. The Backyard Gang against the Menagerie. The two most destructive forces in wrestling clashing.... Vile "Vince" Viper against Beelzebozo.....and may God help anyone caught in the middle.

[Beelze falls off the loom, then tries to play it off like he meant to do ut.]

BF: Psychotic Goth? Bring the stupid drink. I'm not afraid. Anonymoose swapped my whiskey with battery acid and I never noticed. Hell's Bouncer? Try to toss me out of the rumble. I will hit you so hard you wake up as somebody with talent. Marcus White? You may be under my protection, but get in my way, and I will slap you until you form a coherent sentence. Paul Soutter? Joe Pesci sucks. Industrial Man.....I live to destroy you and everything you represent.

BF: Vile "Vince" Viper......you pissed off the wrong evil clown.

[Anonymoose sticks his head into the tent.]

AM: Hey, Boss! How was the loom?

BF: It sucked! Plus, he isn't a blacksmith anymore....now he is a chemist or something.

AM: what should we do.

BF: Get me a mortar and pestle! And some berries! The ones that made me hear colors that one time!

AM: you got it!

[Bozo stares into the camera.]

BF: You're looking at the Rumble winner.....and anybody who gets in my way will get destroyed faster than I destroyed the ACW territory!

[SWAT Team]

We take a small break in tonight action as we have our cameras outside of the arena. We see a few brace little souls standing just around, this are the souls that couldn't get those tickets to tonight action. Certainly they should have purchase them when they first came out. We see a young brown haired lady wearing a red coat with black pants and black boots. She is pacing back and forth stepping in some snow, which most of the United States has had some type of winter storm. As she has her hands shove deep into her coat pockets and smoke coming out. She does take her hands out of he pocket long enough to look at one time it is. She sticks her hands back into her pockets, but she is looking down the street as if she is waiting for somebody.

A few minutes pass as the young lady better get out of this cold or she will become sick. She looks down the street as she spots off in the distance a motorcycle approaching at a record pace. The young lady even though she is colder, suddenly as a smile across her lips which are starting to turn blue. The motorcycle pulls up to the arena as the young lady walks approach the person who is on the bike. This person is wearing a black leather jacket with black gloves and black boots. The person looks over at the young lady as he slides off his helmet.

Crowd. Yeeeeaaaaahhhhhh.....

Frostbite has finally arrived for No Man Land. The young lady is standing in front of the bike, but Frostbite has a confused look on his face.

Frostbite.. You are you.

Lady.. Frostbite, I am Carrisa. Your lawyer had hired me, to follow you around.

Frostbite.. I guess you could say that you are my personal secretary for the evening.

Carrisa.. Yes I guess you could say that.

Frostbite laughs...

Frostbite.. You are suppose to keep me out of trouble as well. Linda must really believe that I am going to get some trouble.

He looks at Carrisa's lips as he sees they are turning blue.

Frostbite.. I think we need to get you inside.

Carrisa.. You are probably right.. But I must tell you something.

Frostbite.. Walk and talk.

Frostbite tosses a blue bag over his right shoulder and carries his helmet in his left hand.

Carrisa.. Can I get you carry something.

Frostbite.. I am fine. Now what do you have to tell me.

With Carrisa lips quivering, she tells Frodtbite what she has to tell him as she opens the door for him as they both enter the building. They look around at the backstage hands running around and the concession stands are full of customers trying to get either food or purchase some merchandise.

Frostbite.. So he said that.

Carrisa nods her head.

Frostbite.. So Vince Viper think he has this all figure out. He said people thought I was a dick in the ICWF. Vince, you really need to get your facts straight. I think it is time we allow the truth to come out. My time in the company was awesome make no mistake about that. I won four world titles in that company, and other championship and won many awards and more five star matches that I could count against some great talent. When I left that company only Patrick Shade won more world title than yours truly. You tell the world that I was a pain. Hell, people like working with me because they know I would do what was best of the company and do well by them. I do the right thing and get them over. However, right before I left the management that was in place before Chris Hopper took over the company. The two that were running the place didn't want Frostbite in the locker room.

You see the two that were running the place at the time were jealous of my success. They walked away from the business. They started to watch the sport once again and this guy right here was getting all the press. They became envy of what I was doing. Frodtbite overshadow what the two of them did combine. So I guess they decided they wanted no parts of the man that busted his ass off and become of the faces that ran the place. But where these two now. They dropped out of site, and nobody has ever heard from them ever again. While they in some retirement home. I have continue to make a name for myself.

Carrisa.. I believe the locker rooms are around the corner.

Frostbite.. Vince help me understand.. Where in the hell have you been in the several years. Sure you poke your head back here in swat and went out to become the most hated man around here. Great accomplishment there. While you have been under that rock that you have been hiding under the last few years and become an after thought in this sport. Then again were you ever a thought in the first place. You are like one of these veterans that cannot stand when a guy comes along and becomes better than you because this is what happen. So again where have you been. Because this guy right here as 17 World titles to his credit, more chains hips, awards, and added a few hall of fame honors. So I will ask you again, what have you done.

I look forward to getting into the rumble and looking you right in the eye and tossing you right over the top ropes. Vince you really believe that you are somebody, well to be honest you aren't anybody.

Frostbite and Carrisa reach the men locker room.

Frostbite.. Can you find out some information about this left testicle. I know his parents did not name him that and if they did, he should kick there ass.

Carrisa.. I will get on that.

Frostbite.. I guess this is where we must part ways.

She nods her head as she walks away, as Frostbite looks right at the door.

Frostbite.. I wonder if there are any other morons that have a few choice words for me. When will they learn never piss off a man that has the nickname the Cold Hearted Bastard.

He walks into the locker room.

[SWAT Team]

[As we return a yellow serpent coils around the top rope, feeling out the rungs of the steel cable with its tongue. A master shot reveals that the ring has been transformed, covered in snakes - that while probably not poisonous, certainly enjoy the kind of numbers required to remind one of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Plastic barricades have been put up to keep the set pieces from slithering out into the crowd, but as the bulky frames of boa constrictors cause the shields to creek, the audience is looking rather uncomfortable. SWAT can't afford these kinds of visuals, why on earth would they turn their ring into this serpentine hell?]

[To one up Suit's Suite of course!]

[In the center of the ring, The DEVIL of SWAT is decked out in a very masculine outfit that looks a lot like the House of Mouse take on Hades. Our Disney villain sits upon a massive throne made out of onyx. John Hammond: "We Spared no Expense!" More reptiles wrap themselves around the throne's arms, but the wild life doesn't bother our king of snakes. Its a magnificent sight to behold, and as TripleV looks up at the heavens you already know his interview segment is a million times better than that douche Soutter.]

VVV: Ladiessssssssssssssss and gentlemen... wait... this is Melbourne? Do over! Slags and wankers, its so nice to see so many of you derros coming in from Melbourne Park. Where are we, Rod Lover arena? <chuckle> How progressssssive.

[As the trash start throwing garbage at the ring, The Devil of SWAT can't help but chuckle at how easy the marks are on this wasteland.]

Vile "Vince" Viper: Stop with your wristysssssssssss long enough to... PLEASE put your gaudy, filthy, genetically predisposed to thieving hands together in celebrating THIS... THE PYTHON'SSS PIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[The audience still isn't cheering, but Old Scratch is getting some reaction.]

Vile "Vince" Viper: My guests at this time... the SWAT (backyard) TWINSTAR TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD----------------------------------FUUUUUUUUUUNNY BUSINESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Industrial Man walks out of the back to the BIGGEST POP OF THE NIGHT, partially dressed like he wasn't expecting to be a guest on the show. The cheering soon turns mixed as Balan is followed out by his tag team partner, also looking confused at this impromptu interview. The greatest tag team in the history of the organization which is inexplicably relegated to the summary show that gets no feedback from any of you fuckers, make there way to the ring.]

Vile "Vince" Viper: ...They have plowed through every other team on the roster... with the Anzac cup on the horizon, the rest of the crew better start practicing their tags. <forced smile> Toaster, wannabe, how the fuck you guys doing?

Attila Balan: ...Thank you for having us Vile, I have to say while we were not expecting this conversation, that it is GREAT TO BE IN MELBOURNE, VICTORIA, AUSTRALIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Monster pop for even getting the state into it, the women in the audience want to have The Industrial Man's baby. Sort of like the film, Proteus.]

Vile "Vince" Viper: You might be wondering why I had you out here on SSSWAT'sss premier interview show... well I got to thinking... that footage of Beelzebozo kidnapping Vampira... it certainly LOOKED DOCTED TO ME!

Beelzebozo: I know you framed me, you slilpery serpent! It was you!

Vile "Vince" Viper <nodding with a smile>: That's what I thought too... but the guys I pay to watch me to remind me of my more nefarious ribs... they ASSSSSSURED ME that was not the case. Which got me to thinking... who benefits from Psychotic Goth wanting to MURDER Beelzebozo?! Who possibly has something to benefit from making it look like Beelzebozo is the worst person in the locker room... maybe force him into a slightly more difficult title challenge, while confusing the champion into a loss... I raked my brain, and it all pointed to.... you, Attila.

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Attila Balan: It wasn't me.

Vile "Vince" Viper: Perhaps the tape wasn't even doctored, maybe you just hired someone to dress as a clown to kidnap Vampira! All I know is it put Beelzebozo into an even higher profile spot, and made Goth an easssy victim... oh you wouldn't tell Buster here, not wanting him to resent your assistance, or the fact that you may have dragged out his Goth program to multiple matches. How could you do that to your only friend? What are you - some kind of cold unfeeling robot?

Attila Balan: I am, but I did not. Is there a point to this segment?

Vile "Vince" Viper: I would hate to be in your robotic shoes when Buster finds out about this conspiracy. GIVE ME YOUR LASSST PLACE RUMBLE SPOT OR I'LL TELL HIM.

Beelzebozo: ...I'm right here.

Vile "Vince" Viper <double take>: Oh... right. Well... I have other theories you don't want me spilling. Come on Toassster, give me your damned spot!

Attila Balan: Sorry Vincent, I would like to assist you, but I have already picked a far more worthy recipient - my tag team partner, Buster Friendly!

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Beelzebozo: No. I refuse.

Attila Balan: Please reconsider my friend, the spot will increase your probability of winning by a large margin.

Beelzebozo: Are you saying the only way I'm winning this thing is with your spot?

Attila Balan: ...by a margin of 9%.

Beelzebozo: I don't want your sympathy! I can win this without your help, you condescending prick!

Attila Balan: This is not meant as a slight Buster, just a gift. They deactivated your heavyweight title, so I concluded that another large accomplishment as in order. The next step towards making you the best Buster Friendly you can be is winning this rumble.

Beelzebozo: What do you think of me?!

Vile "Vince" Viper: You know Attila... I have bad karma... and the doctors have given me weeks... maybe even minutes to live... if you're looking for a charity cassse, I could sure use your ssspot.

Beelzebozo: Charity case!?

[It really doesn't take much with these champions. Before Viper can finish solving the mystery of whether Beelzebozo kidnapped Vampira for himself or at the request of The Industrial Man, FUNNY BUSINESS EXPLODES! In the process of covering up from Beelzebozo's clubbing blows, Balan lands a few shots of his own. The two men roll around the snake covered canvas, trading lefts and rights. The crowd are on their feet expecting the next chapter in their classic encounter as the two men brawl to the backstage area over who is going to be the last man up.]

Andrew Fulton: Even coming out last, Attila Balan is not going to be fresh if he spends the hour before the rumble brawling around with Beelzebozo! What are they thinking?

[Contingency plans. On the next Python's Pit - The President of Southern States SWAT.

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker : Coming up next folks, we have Carma Dracula heading off with Evil Lynn.

Brutal Planet by Alice Cooper begins as Evil Lynn’s followers come out carrying her on a huge decorated temple chair. When they get to the ring, they let her down as she steps on the apron. She does a ritualistic chant in the centre of the ring before the match begins.

Andrew Fulton : Nice entrance from the Evil One. First impressions of this one tell me trouble, which is always a bonus for myself, comes across as the kind of girl you would love to bring home to your mother.

Jeremy Tucker : You like em crazy Fulton.

Andrew Fulton : The crazier they are, the better they taste.

Sangre Por Sangre by HELLYEAH hits and Carma Dracula makes her way down to the ring. She steps thru the ropes and is instantly attacked by Evil Lynn with a clobbering double ax handle.

Jeremy Tucker : Lynn wasting no time waiting for the ring introductions in this one, and she is right on Dracula. Ref Bo Brady calls for the bell and this one is legal.

Andrew Fulton : Much like that young girl i met in Melbourne the other day kept insisting to me she was while filching drinks from me.

Jeremy Tucker : Lynn with a short arm clothesline.

Andrew Fulton : Dracula fights back with a chop.

Jeremy Tucker : Lynn rakes the eyes, then plants Dracula with a DDT!

Andrew Fulton : Cover by Lynn ................

Jeremy Tucker : One .... Dracula kicks out.

Andrew Fulton : Dracula with a forearm.

Jeremy Tucker : Lynn no sells it, and then crushes Dracula with a spinning kick to the head.

Andrew Fulton : Do you think She Ra will be coming to join us in the Amazons also Jerry?

Jeremy Tucker : Stalling suplex from Evil Lynn. She Ra?

Andrew Fulton : Princess of Power.

Jeremy Tucker : Dracula with an atomic drop on Lynn, then a clothesline.

Andrew Fulton : Lynn fights back and spears Dracula.

Jeremy Tucker : Cover from Evil Lynn ......... One .............. two ...... kick out by Dracula.

Andrew Fulton : Evil Lynn looking far superior out here tonight Jerry, its just a matter of time before she puts her away.

Jeremy Tucker : Certainly a slow beginning here at the Amazons for Carma, let’s hope she puts in more when we get back to the Amazons.

Andrew Fulton : Who really cares Jerry.

Jeremy Tucker : The amazons is a great womens division, and getting better each month, lots of people care, we give the girls opportunity, from there, how they go is up to themselves.

Andrew Fulton : Powerbomb by Evil Lynn.

Jeremy Tucker : Evil Lynn with a foot on the chest for the cover. One ........ kick out by Carma, that won’t cut it ... and Lynn is enraged and stomps away on Dracula.

Andrew Fulton : FINISH HER!

Jeremy Tucker : Dracula kips up and delivers a skull kick stunner!

Andrew Fulton : A what?

Jeremy Tucker : Skull kick stunner!

Andrew Fulton : Dracula throws Lynn to the ropes, and Evil Lynn flies off them with a cross body.

Jeremy Tucker : Package piledriver from Evil Lynn!

Andrew Fulton : Cover from Evil Lynn

Jeremy Tucker : One ..................... Two ....................... THREE!!!! Evil Lynn wins. Evil Lynn advances to the 2nd round.

Brutal Planet by Alice Cooper hits and Brady raises the hand of Evil Lynn in victory

Frank Salazar : WINNER OF THE MATCH VIA PINFALL .... EVIL LYNNNNNNN!!!

Andrew Fulton : Frank doesn’t seem too happy with the bum rush start taking away his introductions. Two more first round matches to come folks.