Battleground #18 : War Crimes! (Show)

[SWAT Team]

[Stock footage shows a butterfly bursting out of a cocoon.]

Announcer: The world champion has come a long way from his horrific origins...



Announcer: ...But some aggressions are hard to erase...

[Sin City Showdown.  Worms falling down into the main event cage.  Lynn Brewster and Jade trapped in the steel structure as the insects crawl everywhere.  The last image is of Jade's face, crushed at the loss of the Amazon title, but somehow not the worst thing that would happen that night.]

Announcer: At the end of the main event, Matei attempted to once again humiliate Lynn Brewster, only to leave Jade locked in as collateral damage.

Tong Fairtex (to his wife at the Tribute show): "You were almost killed by Matei's stunt with the bugs!"

Radu Matei (from Sinstone Report): "Jade.  You were an innocent victim.  The trauma you suffered pains me greatly."

Announcer: Running on empty, will the world champion once again manage to escape defeat, or does this Hired Gun have his number?



Announcer: Tonight, Radu Matei will be confronted by his actions, as the former Amazon champion Jade challenges for the world title...

[The image explodes revealing the programs title.]

Syndicate Wrestling And Traditions

Presents

BATTLEGROUND #18

War Crimes

Jeremy Tucker : Hello fans, and Welcome to Battleground! Welcome to SWAT! WELCOME TO WAR CRIMES!!!!

Andrew Fulton : Man, what a card we have for everyone tonight Jerry. Radu defeated Syb in a match for the ages at Salvation, and i never doubted him for a moment.

Jeremy Tucker : You switch and change like the wind. It was one hell of a contest though, and how about after it, the KGB coming down to teach Syberus a lesson, but, Jonnie Valentine had other plans, and the SOCIETY OF THE NEW BREED has reformed!

Andrew Fulton : They are pioneers in this industry, and looking to make their mark in today’s age right here in SWAT! It’s not going to be smooth sailing though, because we already have a dominant faction in town, and they go by the name of K_G_B!

Jeremy Tucker : Speaking of, how was the turn of the Fairtex Brothers joining them at Salvation, against their own brethren in Goth no less.

Andrew Fulton : It was wild Jerry, and completely blindsided not only Goth, but the entire Wrestling World.

Jeremy Tucker : Goth is furious, and he is going to be referee in tonight’s TLC match, which add’s another whole dimension to this one!

Andrew Fulton : Jade finally gets a shot at Radu, and i think he may eat his words offering her the shot. Sooner or later he will bite off more than he can chew, and we all know what Jade is capable of.

Jeremy Tucker : Every defence is taking more and more out of Radu, his body is broken, but his spirit remains strong.

Andrew Fulton : How about the other Amazons Jerry, tonight my girl Blaze takes on Lady Luck herself Lucky Linda, The former GM and amazons Champ and now Mr Pesci’s SLAVE Wildcat Lynn Brewster faces off with another former Amazons champ in Avery McCullen aaaaannnd, the Pan Am Champ Suzi Spitz teams up with the Amazons Champ and KGB’s own, Don Joanne Canelli.

Jeremy Tucker : What a formidable team that is, they are set to face their two top challengers right now, in Tabitha and Marie Caedes, who has a Pan Am Title Shot in her name, which i am told will be next Battleground!

Andrew Fulton : I wouldn’t refer to her as Tabitha if i were you, she almost gutted you on Salvation, and you didn’t take it too well.

Jeremy Tucker : She is insane, a complete whacko and nutjob, i will try my best to be professional and call it down the middle as always, but after last week, to say i am not her biggest fan is an understatement.

Andrew Fulton : Did it arouse you?

Jeremy Tucker : Excuse me!?

Andrew Fulton : Last week, when she had you in her claws and was baying for your blood, did it turn you on? Come on Jerry, you can tell us if you liked it.

Jeremy Tucker : There is something seriously wrong with you man. We’ll be right back folks, with some words from our wrestlers and our first match of the evening, the SWAT debut of Tuxedo Mask going one on one with Brian Miles.

[edwarddubin0604]

(The Hired Killers are in the lockerroom calmly cleaning and oiling their Glock and AK-47's smiling at them and admiring the handiwork as they check out their handiwork as the door opens and Katie Moss enters. They put their weapons down and look at Katie.)

Jade: "Good to see you Kate."

Katie Moss: "I'm glad to see you too."

Jade: "So what's up. Is there a problem with someone bothering you or what?"

Kim: "If there's one thing we like to do and that's solve problems."

Katie Moss: "Well you almost caused an incident last week involving Frostbite."

Jade: "You know what we always say 'You got the money...."

Kim: "We got the time."

Jade: "We had plenty of time on our hands that night and Joe Pesci asked us to do a little job for him and we were determined to do it."

Katie Moss: "You almost shot the fans in the ringside seats."

Jade: "Yeah but Pesci made sure it didn't happen. We almost had him but sooner or later we're going to get him and accomplish our mission."

Kim: "When we do we'll make sure it's complete and decisive."

Katie Moss: "what do you think of the opportunity of going for the SWAT World Title facing off against Radu Matei."

Jade: "I was surprised that Radu actually mentioned my name and believe me I was actually surprised he had the guts to grant me the opportunity to even the score."

Katie Moss: "You seem to remember what he did in the steel cage match months ago when you were still unconscious and he flooded the ring with a locust of insects."

(Jade's expression grows dark and ominous.)

Jade: "I never forgot what he did and let me tell you this Katie Moss. I plan on teaching him a lesson he'll never forget and I'm going to do it Hired Killer style."

Katie Moss: "He did apologize to you."

Jade: "Fine apology accepted. However, you involved me in your little feud with former GM Lynn Brewster....."

Kim: "Her new role with Pesci fits her."

Jade: "You forget she's in a match tonight."

Kim: "I'm surprised he let her wrestle."

Jade: "Getting back to the SWAT World Title Match. I noticed that Radu must have some female fetish seeing that he's been wrestling mostly women and you have to ask yourself 'Why is that?' Well let me tell you this Radu you keep claiming that you don't have no more title defenses in you. Yet isn't it amazing that every time you say that you manage to always pull out a win one way or the other."

Kim: "Radu seems to have stolen 'Lucky' Linda LaFey's mojo for himself."

Jade: "Radu do you know who you're messing with. Do you know what i'm capable of and what extremes I go to in order to kick ass. Believe me you say you are running out of title defenses and are falling apart. Well be assured that if you want to be carried out of the ring in a bunch of non repairable pieces like Humpty Dumpty. You'll get your wish when you step into the ring with me."

Kim: "That's what she does best in the ring."

Katie Moss: "What about your husband Tong. He's expressed a desire for revenge and wants a shot at Radu as well. You think that's why Team Fairtex joined the KGB along with you."

Jade: "He wants revenge as much as much as I do and revenge is a great motivator to do something to the extreme like that.
Tong doesn't take something like this lightly and neither do I. When I step into the ring and wrestle I do it with efficiency and military style precision. You'll see how cold and ruthless I can be and the some."

(She picks up her Glock and she looks at it lovingly as she smiles coldly and holsters it as Kim holsters her AK-47.)

Jade: "When you face a Hired Killer you don't want to bring a water pistol to your sudden death. You don't bring a slingshot to shoot a bird wielding a AR-15 and you don't mess with me. If you don't get the reference Radu and I know you won't get it. I would be surprised if you actually do. I'm going to show you why that reference is going to be literal and be assured m hisband is not going to be interfering being he has his own business to deal with The Society of the New Breed and or The Court Jesters."

Katie Moss: "You mean The Royal Family."

Kim: "Please they aren't even relayed to any royalty. Did you ask if they were related to any actual royal families or did they just call themselves that because they couldn't think of anything else in those low IQ skulls tey call brains."

Jade: "At least Radu was right about trashing Hells Bouncer's claim to the title since he was given the title by former GM Lynn Brewster. She never liked that forgettable former champion and decided that of all the worthy contenders. She decided that poor Hells Bouncer needed an ego boost which is the mistake CEO Angela made when she pushed Hells Bouncer as XWCW Hardcore Champion."

Kim: "Yet Tong Fairtex was next to last in the last cage and yet she chose poor Hells Bouncer instead of Jade's husband. So you can tell that she let her feud with Jade influence her decision."

Katie Moss: "Is that why you're feuding with Lynn."

Kim: "Maybe or maybe not. I'll leave that for those who still ask that question to decide."

Jade: "Right now we have some business to attend to and we a,lways attend to our business."

(They leave the lockerroom.)

Katie Moss: "There you have it from Jade with some pointed comments about Radu among others. Back to you guys."

(The scene slowly fades to black.)

[radu]

[Katie Moss continues down the hall...]

[How does Sabrina Sinstone get her own set, yet Moss is forced to continue to hoof it around dank corridors.  She needs a scoop...]

"Doesn't stand a chance against this Weapon of Mass Destruction..."

[Bingo!]

[Is this the world champion's dressing room?  The voice coming from it certainly suggests another WAR CRIME.  Hasn't he done enough to poor Jade?  What new unspeakable horror has the monster dreamt up?  With thoughts of the HIT STORY that will finally get her her own segment - she is leaning towards Moss At 11 but still brainstorming, Katie Moss pushes open the door to confront the terror like a regular Nancy Drew...]




Katie Moss <pointing>: AH HA!












[TJ Zousa hits play on his iPod.]















#I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT!#

[...To find The OZ listening to music.]


TZ Zousa: ...At which point we come out of the back wiggling in unison.


[TJ Zousa starts demonstrating the wiggle, before turning eyes on Katie.  Realizing that these aren't are pretty far from being the world champ, and that Sabrina has a good shot at taking her job, Moss turns to leave.]

Brein O. Thomas: Hi Katie.

[Damn.  Turning around the intrepid SWAT reporter forces the charm.]

Katie Moss: So what are you guys up to?

Brein O. Thomas: TJ is trying to find entrance music for us.  He figures we're the most consistent tag team in SWAT, so the fact that we were looked over for the vacant tag straps not once but twice - we need to have a better presentation.  I'd rather we came up with a finisher, but TJ is pretty vocal.

TJ Zouza: Sure - I mean Rajiv got an elephant, and he's won less matches than us, the least they can do is give us a killer tune.

Brein O. Thomas: But could we at least do double closeline?  We can call it the Kansas Tornado House Drop.

TJ Zouza: You want to do a synchronized closeline, I'm all for it.  I am the MASTER of syncing moves.  But like any good two step we're going to have to practice.  So are we busting a groove to LMFAO or bringing sexy back with Timberlake?

Brein O. Thomas: I listen to a lot of video game music.

[SWOON.]

[...catches himself.]

TZ Zousa <jumping up>: The kind of hustle we can perform to an 8 bit symphony is not going to get us the gold!

Brein O. Thomas: It speaks to me.

TZ Zousa: More people will speak to you when you START WINNING MATCHES!

[Too far?]

[BOT looks crushes.]

Katie Moss: Are you two still fighting?

TZ Zousa: Not fighting.  Bickering.  Like all the great tag teams, and dance partners, we are so in tune with each other that we are comfortable complaining about anything.  Brain knows I mean nothing by it.

Brein O. Thomas: ...

TZ Zousa <ignoring his partner>: When you're enhancement talent long enough, it starts to take its toll.  Eventually you start to break through - look at Sabrina...

[Katie Moss has a big fake smile.]

TZ Zousa: Or Rajiv... with his multiple hardcore title shots... and his elephant.

[The OZ look down at the floor as depression washes over them.]

TZ Zousa: Sure we're a little down, but nothing that a win can't fix.  We're just looking for our lucky break - and I have a feeling its coming soon.  So the Khans, The Society of the New Breed, Hell's Bouncer and his babysitter Powerhouse, the Hired Guns and the Fairtex brothers had better look out - because we WILL the SWAT World Tag Champions, just as sure as I can tap dance better than Shirley Temple.

[TZ Souza starts to tap dance.]

[BOT looks ready to kill himself.]

[Katie Moss is pretty sure Sabrina is going to take her job.  ...Maybe she can become a wrestler?]

[He's still tapping!]

[Jonnie Valentine]

[The open to WMEM's third rated morning show Wake Up Memphis! plays as host Cassie Blake is joined by former Hardkore World owner "The God of Merch" Jonnie Valentine and Kilroy Evans on a talk show set. Jonnie is petting a golden retriever]


Cassie Blake: Welcome back and Wake Up Memphis! (chuckles) We're here with professional wrestler and failed promoter Jonnie Valentine. You may remember him from his run in UWA Mid-South in the early 90s, where he lost alot. Good morning, Jonnie. 


Jonnie Valentine: Oh, I'm still up from last night, Cassie. 


Cassie Blake: Also joining us Kilroy Evans who ate enough chicken fried steak at a local diner to beat a record that had stood for over 34 years. 


Kilroy Evans: And that guy died!


Cassie Blake: Jonnie, I understand you're trying to help this guy here find a forever home is that right? 


Jonnie Valentine: That's right, Cassie. This here is Bark Wahlburg. He's a 9 year old golden retriever. He's house trained, and great around kids. He'd be great for an apartment, but would probably really enjoy something with a back yard. 


Cassie Blake: I bet there's alot of people in Memphis right now that has a backyard big enough for this guy, he seems very sweet.


Jonnie Valentine: He is. 


Cassie Blake: Who else do you have here? 


Jonnie Valentine: (brings out a cat) This pretty baby here is Catalie Portman. She is an American short hair but we try not to hold it against her. 


[Kilroy and Jonnie both laugh loudly]


Cassie Blake: And how old is she?


Jonnie Valentine: I think I got her back in...god, when were they pushing Heidenreich? 


Cassie Blake: You got her? You mean this is your cat?


Jonnie Valentine: Of course. These are all my pets. And I'm giving the viewers at home the chance to buy a piece of history at a reasonable price. 


Cassie Blake: You're selling your pets?!


Jonnie Valentine: I have alot of debt with Uncle Sam, Lil Cass. 


Kilroy Evans: (mouthful of a danish) It's enormous! 


Cassie Blake: Uhhh...it's the bottom of the hour so let's check in with Chuck Bennett with your first alert forecast.

[Cut to weather guy on the wall]


Chuck Bennett: Thanks Cassie, thanks Jonnie. It's 79 degrees right now, when you take the kids to the bus stop it'll creep up ever so slightly to 81 degrees. Lunch time will be about 85 degrees due to that high pressure system from the remnants of that big storm over the weekend. Tonight it'll get down to a nice 67 degrees so maybe have dinner outside. Back to you, Cassie. 


[Cut back to morning show set which now has stacks of animals in dog and cat cages, meowing and barking, with some bird sounds mixed in. Cassie is losing control of her guests]


Kilroy Evans: Doesn't Chuck do sports too?


Cassie Blake: Yes, there were some cutbacks...why are you selling your animals?


Jonnie Valentine: Look Cassie, I'm not some high faluting local anchor at a third place morning show. I have to make cutbacks of my own. Even if they hurt. 


Cassie Blake: Don't you own a chain of seafood restaurants? 


Jonnie Valentine: Seaside Jonnie's?? I'd sooner sell my macaw Christopher Squawken, who you can have for the low, low price of $200. Which is how many more years he has to live. Plus on a good day, he can recreate the booking meeting for Palm Springs Punishment 2007. 


Cassie Blake: Sir? Sir?


[Kilroy is trying to leave but his body mic cord is keeping him tethered to the set. Kilroy stops and tries to act natural]


Cassie Blake: Sir? Are you ok?


Kilroy Evans: Yeah.


Cassie Blake: Where are you going? 


Kilroy Evans: Nowhere. (trying to be nonchalant) I just want to be over here, that's all. 


Jonnie Valentine: Look, can I get back to selling my cat? 


Cassie Blake: No! 


Jonnie Valentine: Fine. This was a mistake. You wouldn't know a good value on a middle aged house cat if it bit you. This is the stuff The Society of the New Breed is trying to change. You got guys like the KGB running around, jumping former Hardkore World Heavyweight Champions, terrified of the thousand year reign that any one of us will have as SWAT World Heavyweight Champion. And that kind of jealousy is just as inevitable as the next weather update with Chuck coming up here in Cassie's prompter. 


Cassie Blake: Huh? Oh..yes, Chuck?


[Cut to Chuck Bennett on the weather wall]


Chuck Bennett: Thanks Cassie. Jonnie I'm actually in the market for a gently used chinchilla, if you got one of those. We've got rain coming up in the forecast, and why is that? Well, let's take a look. You see we've got water vape coming in from the north east...


[Kilroy wanders into the shot]


Kilroy Evans:  HE'S STANDING IN FRONT OF A GREEN SCREEN, PEOPLE!! THERE'S NOTHING HERE!! WAKE UP! 


Chuck Bennett: He knows! Get him! 


[Several floor directors and production assistants tackle Kilroy and cover his mouth, trying to silence him. The shot abruptly cuts back to Jonnie who has an iguana on his lap]


Jonnie Valentine: Turner, Tong & Tam...part of me feels a little bad. The part of me that watches YouTube videos of babies get their first hearing aid. The part of me that raised Barack Iguana here since it was a hatchling knows you want no part of this. When you joined the KGB, you did it to make a name for yourself. Here was your ticket to the big time. A big name wrestling stable, and for Tong and Tammy a chance to break away from the shadow of Psychotic Goth. This was supposed to be your big moment. Now Soutter has given you your marching orders, to run right into a buzzsaw. You had no say in the matter, and now it's your body going through those tables. Soutter never gave you the choice of wether you wanted to be tossed off a ladder by people that were born to do it. You ever see one of us with a chair? It's no mystery that Soutter could book any thing he wanted, and he's nowhere to be found in this match. He hopes Syberus will beat the three of you so senseless, he'll forget about Ol' Paul. I mean, have you ever known Syberus to drop anything? Between hospital trips and ass kickings, you boys are booked solid straight through Christmas. 


Cassie Blake: Alright. Thank you, Jonnie that was... Uh, coming up, is the recent rash of chlamydia cases caused by reusable shopping bags? We ask a local physician. 


[Cut to a soundbite from a local doctor with the graphic: COMING UP! under it]


Doctor: No, that's stupid. 

[SWAT Team]

[Peel their caps back by Ice T hits as we switch back to the ring, there is a couch and a coffee table and the set of Suites Suite is in the ring. We see the Bandit Mobil heading to the ring, The Suit, Mad Dog Paul Soutter standing in the back of it with The Compton Colossal Bruno beside him, arms folded, muscles bulging and dark sunglasses on. The fans booing, some cheering and showing the KGB colors.].

[On the SWAT tron we see doctored footage of Tom Cruise jumping up and down on the couch imposed in the ring. Then more doctored footage showing Rick James/ Dave Shappelle on his back stamping his feet on the couch FUCK_ YO_ COUCH. Now a shot of Heidi giving Suit a lap dance on the couch on the SWAT tron.]

Soutter : Welcome to SUITS SUITE!!!

Last week, at Salvation, something terrible happened, actually, several terrible things happened.

Firstly, i lost a cage match to the Snow Flake.

Hell truly must have frozen over. Know this Snow Flake. You may have won the match. But you never beat me. You didn’t pin my shoulders for a three count, and you sure as shit didn’t make me submit. All you did, was get out of a cage before me. And you nearly even stuffed that up! Launching at the Bandits then landing on them and not even touching the floor, then, when you did manage to just hit the floor before me, which is a very questionable call mind you, and one we need to review in more depth, you proceeded to high tail it out thru the crowd!

Well Jack! I am not done with you, not by a long shot. You may have won that battle, but the war, the war has only just begun.

[Suit moves on the Suite, resting his arm on the arm rest.]

Soutter : And speaking of Wars! Looks like we have another force moving in on our flanks. The good old Society of the New Breed. Wow, that was a big shock to the wrestling world.

[Suit rolls his eyes in a ‘Yeah, right’ way.]

Soutter : The second Jonnie Valentine stepped back in the ring, it was just a matter of time till the Society followed. Now, don’t get me wrong, i know as much as anyone how these guys work, and i know as much as anyone how great they are. And they are truly great!

But if they think they can just get together and hold hands and that the wrestling world will fall at their feet and they can pick up where they left off and run rough shod over us and anyone else they choose, they best think again. This is SWAT! This is the land of the KGB! We won’t stand by and we won’t step aside.

Which leads me to my guest tonight. He is a Society Original. He is a former World Heavyweight Champion! He is and legend in this sport ... he is KILROY EVANS

[Let the Games Begin hits and Kilroy makes his way down to the ring, he steps thru the ropes and takes a seat on the couch across from Soutter.]

Soutter : (going into Biff from Back to the Future mode) Well, well, well. Looky what we have here.

Kilroy Evans : Hello and thank you for inviting me into this very obvious trap.

[Kilroy makes a show out of looking around for anything or anyone who might be trying to get the drop on him while Soutter makes a show out of rolling his eyes and being annoyed.

Kilroy Evans : *sighs* All clear. I was gone for a while, huh?

Soutter : Not long enough.

Kilroy Evans : Aw. Hurtful. I was going to say that it looks like you lost weight.

[Soutter narrows his eyes as Kilroy smiles back at him, before bouncing back to pleasant host mode.]

Soutter : Great win at the Memorial Show. Man, you kicked The Great Syberus’ ass!

Kilroy Evans : Thank you, I'm glad you noticed. Now, he definitively kicked mine too because that match was a hell of a time! That was like not playing video games for a year and then trying to beat Punch-Out blindfolded. Syb has always been a consummate wrestler and showman. I was lucky to be asked to grace the ring with him to honor a friend, especially since it was his best friend. And of course, shoutout to ‘you’ for setting it up. It made for a great time for everybody, I think.

[Soutter and Kilroy stare at each other again. Soutter's face is blank while Kilroy looks on with a pleasant smile.]

Soutter : Alright, cut the shit!

[Kilroy immediately throws his head back and laughs, before resting his head on his fist an motioning for Soutter to keep going.]

Soutter: First off! You shouldn’t even be here! You retired from SWAT! I know retirements in this sport are as reliable as a Cobryn comeback, but when you said you were done and wanted one last match, and then you selected myself to have that match with you, well, i will be honest. I was honoured. I was ... blown away. It meant a lot to me. Then i heard we signed you to appear at the Memorial, i didn’t mind, i was pleased, the fans got to see the legendary Kilroy Evans again, it was a worthy show and it fitted well.

Then ....... then last week, you jump right back in bed with Valentine and the Society, against ME!

Kilroy Evans : Yeah, funny about that. My goal was to STAY retired and live my best non-wrestling life. Then, the company of the guy who agreed with me that maybe it was time to rest my weary bones, calls about the memorial show. Actually, I think I have a voicemail saved on my phone that sounds a LOT like someone I'd definitely describe as a big, bad, bustling bandit.

[The crowd starts jeering Soutter who shouts back at the crowd off-mic. He angrily waves at Kilroy to finish his story.]

Kilroy Evans : So, you know, this wasn't me popping in just because. It was for a special occasion. Why not? So I do the show, have a great match with The Great Syberus, and that was going to be that. Then, I was approached about staying on. You...came to me. Both times. And who am I to deny you what you so desperately want?

Soutter : Put it anyway you like. We were there to conduct KGB business and YOU and THEM got in our way! We don’t take too kindly to that!

Kilroy Evans : Yeah, you usually don't when you flip out of "gregarious Aussie" boss mode and into "powermad dickweed" boss mode. I swear, there's gotta be a switch installed somewhere on you that you keep brushing back an forth.

Soutter : Oh, there's gonna be a switch flipped tonight, you will see. Tonight you got to step in the ring with three of the Bandits best! Did you see the Fairtex boys stick that knife in Goth’s back last week?

Kilroy Evans : I saw Goth catch that Kendo stick, that was real impressive.

Soutter : That’s what you took from that match?

Kilroy Evans : That catch was smooth as butter and needs to be in every SWAT highlight reel until the end of recorded history! I guarantee that clip will play on repeat in my heart forever set to an all-recorder cover of "My Heart Will Go On."

Soutter : Everything is a joke to you isn’t it!

Kilroy Evans : Pretty much, yeah.

Soutter : It won’t be a joke later tonight when you step in the ring with Timeless and The Fairtexes!

Kilroy Evans : One, it really will because the talent in our corner versus the talent in theirs is embarrassingly lopsided.

Soutter : You think so do you?

Kilroy Evans : Facts are facts, after all. And two, I call dibs on Timeless and The Fairtexes as a band name. Probably do bluegrass covers of classic rock or something.

Soutter : You know what. I don’t really care what you think, or what any of your butt buddies in the Society think. Tonight, you guys are gonna find out who runs this show, and next week ..... how about next week ... you and I? Right here in this ring!

Kilroy Evans : Well...I don't know. Not sure if there's time. My boss is a real "you-know-what" if you get my meaning.

Soutter : What's the matter, huh? CHICKEN?!

Kilroy Evans : What?! Nobody calls me chicken! Nobody! Mostly because that's not my name though, not because that's some kind of trigger for irresponsible behaviour. Yeah, alright, let's have a match! I've got some...ideas...I'd love to bounce off of you.

Soutter : Bounce THIS Evans!

[Suit gives the crotch chop.]

Soutter : And while you’re at it, keep bouncing, right out of this Suite!

[Bruno walks over and stands over Kilroy, and Kilroy waves him off in a ‘this isn’t necessary’ way]

Soutter : And next week, i’ll bounce you out of here AGAIN!

[edwarddubin0604]

(Team Fairtex is finished warming up and are talking in the lockerroom as the door opens and Glamourous Glenda enters the lockerroom.)

Tong Fairtex: "Glamourous Glenda. What can we do for you."

Glamourous Glenda: "I'm here about how you turned against your own ally and fellow Shootfighter trainee Psychotic Goth."

Tong Fairtex: "Psychotic Goth's always been a loner and he never needed us. He claims to be the epitome of darkness and evil but let me tell you something. He's nothing but an obsessed cultist leader like that guy in the AWF who shall not be named since he doesn't deserve the credibility of having his named dropped in the form of real greats like the KGB. Psychotic Goth was lucky to have even been hardcore Champion because hells Bouncer was bring people with his pathetic promos."

Glamourous Glenda: "You once teamed with him against The KGB in Puerto-Rico."

Tong Fairtex: "Yeah we had a common enemy back then but times changed and so do we. You see Soutter and I have a history in the ring and yes we had our share of wars in the old Hardkore South. Then our father, The Shootfighter, also feuded with Soutter before I did but let me tell you something. My father and I grew to respect Soutter throughout the years."

Glamourous Glenda: "Aren't you afraid that what happened to Michael Maddox will happen to you."

Tong Fairtex: "You know there's a difference between Michael Maddox and us. First we want to tell you a little story about an experience we had in the XPW. There was this moron named Trendkiller and he asked us to join him which was the biggest blunder we made. We were the XPW World Tag Team Champions at the time but after joining this jerk's group. We lost our tag titles and were relegated to just lackeys and we had a violent falling out and strangely enough we were fired from the XPW which was dying anyway so I guess we were unscathed."

Phantam Fairtex: "Yeah and that fuckin loser is still crying and whining about getting no title shots and living out his former glory or what little he's had."

Tong Fairtex: "Now getting back to Maddox he's been acting like an asshole speaking in the single person and thinking he's going to be the world champion etc....blah...blah...and blah. He knew what his role should have been but he decided that he spoke for the whole KGB. The difference between him and us was that we know our place in the KGB and if they say they need something done. We'll do it with no questions asked and when Soutter talks he means what he says and sets out to do it without any remorse or regrets."

(Phantam points to their KGB T-shirts.)

Phantam Fairtex: "That's right Soutter speaks for the KGB not anyone else. It's his group and we follow what he says and we travel up and down the road with him. Maddox never got the message and he got exactly what was coming to him."

Glamourous Glenda: "Getting back to your match with The New Society of the New Breed. They're looking for some revenge for the attack on their fellow member The Great Syberus."

Tong Fairtex: "You know what makes this match interesting and that's this. In the deceased XPW we had experience in a Tables, Ladders and Chairs Match. We know how brutal this match is going to be and so does our partner, the true epitome of hardcore 'Timeless' Alex Turner, and we're going to show why the KGB is the power behind SWAT."

Phantam Fairtex: "Now Kilroy, Jonnie, Syberus and Tuxedo Mask or any combination of those guys can't even come close to winning a six-man or even tag team match against the KGB. KGB is SWAT and SWAT is KGB just like Soutter shall always be SWAT and SWAT shall be KGB."

Tong Fairtex: "Now getting back to our TLC Match we know it's going to be brutal and bloody and truly hardcore but that's the thing KGB is all about and that's hardcore and brutality. The KGB knows they're coming for us and The KGB knows what they can do but let us tell you this Glamourous Glenda The KGB isn't backing down or taking the cheap way out like The New Society of the New Breed."

Glamourous Glenda: "The New Society of the New Breed's vowing to take care of business and put KGB down and in their place."

Phantam Fairtex: "All talk and no action is what the New Society of the New Breed is but KGB is all action and KGB actually backs it up. When Soutter talks and promises something he delivers and so does The KGB."

Tong Fairtex: "'Timeless' has some scores to settle with these guys and so do we and tonight we're going to send our opponents through a whole lot of tables ladders and chairs like we vow to do no matter how long the match takes."

Phantam Fairtex: "We're going to be flying off those ladders onto Kilroy and Jonnie and most of all Tuxedo mask and even Syberus if he tries to get involved in the match. Hell we'll even do it to Ronnie the Merchandise guy for good measure if he tries to get involved in the match."

Tong Fairtex: "Yeah and he'll be in deeper debt that his worthless merchandise will never sell enough to pay his debt. Hell I'll even put in a bid to buy the cat and the parrot and retrain it to talk normally unlike when it was Jonnie's pet."

Phantam Fairtex: "But we won't go all Koko B. Ware with them. We'll treat them like royalty and give them the best of care unlike Jonnie's poor treatment of those poor pets."

Tong Fairtex: "Getting back to our match Team Fairtex and 'Timeless' Alex Turner are going to be the dominant team in this match and prove that the KGB is superior to everyone else."

Glamourous Glenda: "You do know that Psychotic Goth will be the special guest referee in the match."

(Team Fairtex looks at each other and shrugs it off nonchalantly.)

Tong Fairtex: "Really can he actually referee a match without knowing what a three count is. I don't think so and tonight he's going to be stupid enough to not now what even a count out is or any technicality is. So tonight we're going to school him and The New Society of the New Breed in what referees are supposed to do and it's going to be down the way Soutter knows how to do it and that's KGB style. The KGB is the best there is and always will be and New Societynand the New Breed along with everyone else beware because you're not true excellence. We're out of here."

Phantam Fairtex: "Right behind you bro."

(They leave the lockerroom.)

Glamourous Glenda: "Well it's going to be an interesting match. Back to you."

(The scenen fades to black.)

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker : Welcome back folks, and coming up now, we have the SWAT debut of Tuxedo Mask. He shocked the wrestling world last Battleground, debuting to help reform the Society of the New Breed!

Andrew Fulton : What a moment! The Society are pretty much the Be all and End all Jerry. SWAT is set for a shakeup of the highest magnitude!

Jeremy Tucker : Indeed, they are a very formidable force, and the landscape around here has changed big time. Let’s go to Frank for the ring introductions, as both men are in the ring and chomping at the bit to get this first match of the night underway.

Frank Salazar : The following contest is scheduled for ONE fall ... introducing first, hailing from Las Vegas Nevada, BRIAN ACRES!!!! And his opponent, representing the Society of the New Breed! TUXEDO MASK!!!

Andrew Fulton : Referee Joe Davola calls for the bell and Tux almost takes Acres head of with a spinning round house kick.

Jeremy Tucker : Acres saw it coming, and was frozen like a dear in the head lights. Tux with a somersault leg drop to Brian.

Andrew Fulton : Tuxedo Mask is a ring veteran, the Society only deal with the elite, and he epitomises that Jerry.

Jeremy Tucker : Tux Irish whips Acres into the turnbuckle and runs in after him with a hard clothesline, he then Irish whips Acres to the opposite corner and again follows in and avalanches Acres.

Andrew Fulton : Tux doesn’t get paid by the hour, he is making short work of Acres, and i tell you Jerry, he could finish him right now if he wanted to.

Jeremy Tucker : He wants to make a statement first. Tux gets Acres up in a torture rack then spins around in a 360 and plants Acres with an inverted diamond cutter slash neckbreaker type manoeuvre.

Andrew Fulton : Tux heads to the top rope ..... SENTON BOMB!

Jeremy Tucker : He signals it’s over, and measures Acres, waiting on him, stalking him, Acres has been completely over whelmed and out matched thus far, CRESCENT MOON KICK!!! Tux with the Crescent Moon kick to Acres! He covers him.

One .............

Two ....................

THREEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Tux wins! What a debut!

Andrew Fulton : Fantastic, he hasn’t missed a step in his hiatus from the sport, and looked real sharp Jerry.

Jeremy Tucker : Well, the competition will get tougher, that is for sure.

Frank Salazar : Winner of the match ... TUXEDO MASK!!!

[frostbite]

Earlier in the day

It is a nice sunny but chilly day here in Nashville it appears those dog days of Summer just finally be behind us and Fall is right around the corner. Our camera crew has bought us to a local strip where you happened to see small shops, even a night club that has not even open yet and the usually local restaurant. We see one young man standing in front of a restaurant with a guitar in his hand the young man has a gray shirt with faded black jeans where he is a hole in both of his knees and torn sneakers. The young long black haired gentleman as a bucket right in front of him as he is playing his guitar and singing country music as a few are walking by him as they throw some money in that bucket. The young man nods his head as he continues to sing. We move down the strip until we get to the second to last building on the left side of this strip as we come upon a barbecue restaurant. We push back the brown stained glass as head inside. The first thing we notice is an huge jukebox on the right side of the room, it reminds you of one of those types back in the 50's.

We see a bar right in the middle of the room and every booze that you can think of his behind the counter. A young lady is behind the bar wearing a blue tank top with blue jeans and her long brown hair is getting into her eyes while she is trying to pour a drink for an older gentleman sitting right in front of her. The balded headed gentleman wearing a brown shirt with matching slacks. The gentleman appears that he is getting an early start on his day as he has bloodshot eyes. He just points to the glass in front of him as the young lady gets the hair out of her eyes as she pours the drink. Over on the right side of the room we see a young man with what appears to be a barbecue sandwich on his plate and a Coke on the side. The short blonde haired gentleman is wearing a green tee shirt with blue jeans and black boots.

Crowd... YEÀAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!

We see that it is Frostbite.

Frostbite... Nothing like grabbing some great barbecue at Greg's Place. For the record that is not some shameless plug either. Actually I know the gentleman that owes this place, he is a very good friend of mine. I loaned him money years ago to help get this business off the ground and he has done very well for himself. So whenever I get a chance to come to town, I like to eat here.

Frostbite picks up his sandwich as he takes a huge bite as the barbecue drops onto his plate. We happened to notice that old Frosty has a couple of white bandages over his forehead.

Frostbite.. When I walked in here earlier or should I say limped in here because of my brutal battles with Paul Soutter. I have had my share of stitches put in my head but I knew this was going to happen when you tell the man that runs the company that you are going to burn it to the ground. Take a look what has happened here recently. Timeless Alex is the new hardcore champion all because the KGB screwed Gothic out of a title that he worked hard to defend countless or times all to have it come to an end like he did. Team Fairtex become the new tag team champions all because they were they are the newest members of the group. Management has there favorites. How many times must Paul and Joe are going to keep screwing people in this company. I have taken a stand, and I will deliver on my promise one way or the other. Why don't you ask Paul how is body feels because he is probably just as beat up as I feel right now. If Paul tells the world that he is not, he is lying to you. Paul you know we are not done with each other just yet. I am sure we will get back in that ring and if and when that happens it will be the very last time because you are going out of our match in a body bag to never be seen again.

Frostbite grabs his Coke as he takes a sip of that.

Frostbite.. Now down to business. Later on tonight I must go one on one with JR Wrangler. Now you sir has an impressive showing in a hardcore match as you and other tried to take the title from Goth. So I know just how good you are. However I do not want you to actually believe as beat up as I feel, you really believe that you are going to go in that ring later on and beat me. I will not allow that to happen. JR you are a small part of a much bigger picture. You see I bet as I sit here and eat this great barbecue sandwich, Paul is simply using you. Paul believes that you will beat me and he will not nothing to worry about. He thinks he Frostbite takes the loss that he will not have to worry about me anymore. If feels that I am not worthy of his time or give me some championship opportunities, but then again I do see management given me those chances because I have pissed them off too much. A hardcore title shot, maybe I grab a partner and go after the tag team titles or a shot at the world title. But Paul is not going to do that.

Frostbite looks down at his plate and realizes that he has finished his sandwich.

Frostbite.. JR, it is a shame that you are going to be used as just a Guinea pig because you have talent, but I have paid to do a job and that is to beat you. I promise I am going to do so. Paul, I hope you and the KGB are watching because this war is far from over, and we all know in any war their casualties, and JR you are that. JR maybe you can get back into the family business and sell those jeans. Because sir, this is where that old saying comes to effect..

The camera zooms in on the intense look in his blue eyes..

Frostbite.. Wrong place, wrong time.

Frostbite finishes off his Coke as the scene fades out.

[jsr]

Backstage at the arena.
We see JR Wrangler getting ready for his match.

JR... Frostbite I am right where I should be. I'm here getting ready. If you hate Paul so much take it up with him. Tonight I will be your opponent not him. If you thought he beat you up bad you ain't seen nothing. Be a man show me the respect I deserve and focus on me.

JR grabs a beer has a swig.

JR... Frostbite after tonight you will learn to focus on one thing at a time. Paul will come again. Cause tonight you are mine.

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker : Coming up next we have two teams who have, well frankly, struggled since joining SWAT, The OZ’s, waiting in the ring, and the Indian Assassins, neither has won a match yet in their time here at SWAT, but tonight, one of these teams will change that.

Andrew Fulton : Ever heard of a Nil all draw Jerry?

Jeremy Tucker :That’s a bit unfair, both teams are very entertaining, and more popular with the fans that half the fed.

Andrew Fulton : What’s that say for ‘half the fed’?

Nimbooda Nimbooda hits and Rajiv drives down to the ring in his taxi cab. He gets out and stands on the roof and poses for the fans then runs down the bonnet and somersaults over the ropes into the ring. Then there is a loud bellow, and an elephant comes down the rampway, Rajiv’s Princely cousin mounted on the elephant. The beast strides down the ramp and Mohammad runs down his outstretched trunk over the cab and rolls into the ring.

Jeremy Tucker : Oh My. That is quite the entrance.

Andrew Fulton : Is that elephant house trained?

Jeremy Tucker : Ref Joe Davola calls for the bell and this match is underway. Rajiv and Mohammad connect with duel drop kicks to the OZ’s. They then Irish whip them into the ropes together and double clothesline them both.

Andrew Fulton : Indians start it off with a flurry. Davola ushers Mohammad out of the ring, and both Brein O. Thomas & TJ Zousa double stomp away on Rajiv.

Jeremy Tucker :Khan is in trouble, and TJ starts break dancing, then drops a robot dance elbow to Khan.

Andrew Fulton : Brein stomps away on Rajiv. Mohammad mounts the top rope and the OZ’s come at him and he double flying body presses the pair of them!

Jeremy Tucker : The Indian Prince nailed them with that one!

Andrew Fulton : Rajiv back to his feet, and he sling blades Zousa.

Jeremy Tucker : (Michael Cole imitation) SLING BLADE!!!

Andrew Fulton : The Indians on top ...

Peel Their Caps Back hits and The KGB, Mad Dog Paul Soutter, Bruno, Timeless Alex Turner & Roxylishus, Don Joanne Canelli and Tong and Phantam Fairtex make their way down to the ring. They enter the ring mid match and start pummelling all four competitors in the match.

Jeremy Tucker : What’s going on?

Andrew Fulton : The KGB are cleaning house Jerry! That’s what’s going on!

Jeremy Tucker :Both tag teams are out of it, the Bandits stomping on them like wild savages. Roxylishus stands over the top of TJ Zousa, legs spread over his face and girates ... then BAM! Drops down with the split splash!

Andrew Fulton : Best_Move_Eva!

Soutter : (pulling out a mic) Get this trash out of our ring! (stomps on Rajiv) And get that Elephant the hell out of here as well, before i body slam it!

Mohammad : (struggling to his knees and grabbing the mic from Suit) HIS NAME IS SABU!

Crunch! Soutter stomps him in the mouth and Mohammad crumbles to the mat

Soutter : Take a good look all you Memphis inbred hicks! (Crowd boo’s and start throwing stuff into the ring) THIS is the premiere stable in wrestling today. THIS IS THE K_G_B!!!

For the last three years, we have ran rough shod over everyone who has entered the doors here! We are the back bone of SWAT.

Tong Fairtex : WE ARE SWAT!

Soutter : That’s right my brother! Last week when you and Phantam here joined us, it was beautiful to watch. The collective hearts of the rest of SWAT dropping, only for later in the night them glory hounds to reform the Society.

Timeless : Society of the OLD breed. Yawn. I watched them old geezers growing up. They were everything that was great about wrestling. They were the KGB of their day. That was then, THIS is NOW! This is our playpen, and they are in way over their dementia racked heads.

Coming up in this TLC six man, we are going to crush them and send them packing back to the bow ties and mediocrity.

Speaking of mediocrity, Mediocre Syberus! Better known as Cobryn’s replacement. You have rubbed a lot of people up the wrong way here since you came crawling back in to town chasing after Jonnie like a pathetic school girl with a unrequited crush.

Listening to you prattle on about your old days and shitting on us here and everything we have built is a insult to this great fed, to this great talent in the ring before you! That’s why we were coming after you at Salvation, so, you had a little trump card and reformed a long passed group. Whoopdee do! You cats won’t last here till Christmas.

We have the greatest talent assembled in this industry in years. Most of which is standing in this very ring. The rest, well, you’ve seen them haven’t you, the last two shows, seen them on top of you while you are looking up at the lights for the three count that is. Tonight will be the hat trick, care of three beautiful letters.

Roxylishus : TLC?

Timeless : No goddess. Close though. KGB

(to Roxylishus) What did every breathing man, woman and inbetween say when you dropped that Split Splash on this Jamook moments ago ...... (she smiles coyly as Timeless lays a boot to Zousa, and he doesn’t wait for a response, answering for her )... I’ll have what he’s having!

Andrew Fulton : Me TOO!!

Joanne Canelli : Tonight! I team with one Suzi Spitz. She has shown a lot since her return here to SWAT. Now, the two champs get to put on a show at the expense of our ‘challengers’. Tabitha, you put up one hell of a fight last show, but as you saw, not quite good enough. Tonight will be no different. Caedes, you don’t belong in the ring with me, with US! You can try and get your way with Joe with your ways, that may work for you. I am sure it works for him too, but who is using who? Stick to what your good at, and stay on your knees.

Suzi, we have been watching you and we like what we see, get the job done tonight in our match, and there could be some big offers coming your way.

Tong Fairtex : Look at these miserable excuses for tag teams sprawled in the ring. They aspire to hold OUR tag belts, but they aren’t in our league.

Phantam Fairtex: No team in SWAT is in our league! We know where the power lies, and we jumped on this Bandit bandwagon with both feet. People ask weren’t we worried we would suffer the same fate Maddox did after he joined, but the difference between Mark Maddox and us, apart from him now residing in the ICU in a comatose state, is that we are cut from the same cloth as the Bandits.

Tong Fairtex : That’s right! The Bandits never wanted him to begin with, and only let him join so we could stab him in the back after ruining his life! We forced him to betray his wife. We forced him to betray his tag partner. You want to know why we did that?

Soutter : Because WE CAN!

Tong Fairtex : Spot ON! Tonight will be no different. Society of the OLD Breed, my brother and i are the kings of TLC matches! We have never lost one, and Timeless, well, just look at him.



Phantam Fairtex : This man is by a mile, the best wrestler in the world. We would know, we have been in the ring with him, he will run circles around you old farts.

Soutter : We are the Bandits! The Kross Global Bandits. We don’t play second fiddle to no one, least of all some manufactured third rate attempt to rebuild a society long since forgotten.

We will continue to do as we please, and there is nothing any of you can do about it.

I don’t care if you’re the Snow Flake Frostbite.

The crazed Goth!

Lucky Linda!

The Society of the New Breed!

Radu Matei or anyone else! Stand in our way and we will mow you down, each and everyone of you, and we like it like that.

Jeremy Tucker : So much for that match.

Andrew Fulton : What did i tell you Jerry. Nil all draw!

[suzispitz]

It doesn't matter that her Pan~Am Title isn't on the line tonight... nor does it matter that her tag team partner holds a title that everyone considers to be higher up on the proverbial ladder than her own... it doesn't even matter that she's never been what one would call a team player...

the only thing that really matters, is that there is pain to be inflicted, not out of hatred, but simply as a reminder of just who the fu*k you're looking at...




SS : I'm a freakin' anomaly, bitches...

'cause I'm everything you never believed in, but here I am... livin' proof!.. heh-heh... that even bad dreams come true. And Tabatha Osborne!.. you might be some kinda lunatic, or whatever, but lemme tell ya somethin', girlie, I have come upon, walked right through, and laughed at sh*t that doesn't even exist in your worst nightmares... and I'm batsh*t crazy ta boot.

Just ask around.

And just in case you're wonderin', Tabby... I really don't give a damn if ya get your panties all in a bunch if I call ya by your name. You can pitch your little fits allz ya want, kiddo, you're still gettin' your ass whipped.

'Cause, ya see, Tabster, all that Disney Channel version of some teenie goth for all the pervs out there don't intimidate me at all... I've been beatin' up Marilyn Manson wannabe's for nineteen years, 'cause my upcoming opponents always seem ta think that bringin' one of the spooky kids along ta help soften me up is gonna help anything at all.

Well Marie, you listen up, bitch... ya got your opportunity. Congratulations.

But, ummm... I ain't comin' alone, either.

In fact... I'm standin' at the side of The Amazons Champion.

Hmmmph... that's bad news for you, Caedes... 'cause I hear tell that bitch can scrap too.

So...

I guess if I were in your shoes, Marie, I'd have thought a little longer, a little harder, and a whole lotta twice about your choice of partner... I mean, ya don't exactly have ta be a freakin' brain surgeon ta know ya can't trust ol' Tabbs. She might bite your ear off, or somethin', and I'm just gonna stand there, and let her.

Brains are made for thinkin'... but I guess if you were much more smarter than a monkey, ya woulda realized that NO MATTER WHAT!..

hang on a second, I was about ta get all wound up in the excitement... the exhilaration... heh... the pure joy, of knowin' how much blood I'm gonna spill.

So let me calm down, a little, and tell ya as politely as I can, Caedes, exactly how it's gonna be.

Ah-HEM!.. Marie... I'm not your enemy. I'm your opponent. And, as your opponent, I want you ta know, that it's not that I wanna beat ya up, it's just that I have to... it's my job.

It's what I do... it's all I do. And let's face the facts, Caedes, I live a lifestyle of the highest standards, and it costs more per day, than a whole year of your measly little paychecks, so, ya see, I ain't about ta go home with the losers share, like you.

So if you can't step it up a few notches, and beat me on your own, don't think, for one skinny minute, that some fruitcake who has ta get permission to leave the 13th Ward is gonna do it for ya!..

because you think wrong, baby-girl.

'Cause, as I was sayin', before I so rudely interrupted myself, no matter what...

when the time comes for you ta step in the ring, and face me one on one, for MY title, bitch, you gotta KILL my ass ta win, and I'm tellin' ya right now...

ya can't do it.

And hey, if Joanne Canelli is half the champion that I am, I won't even have ta beat up your little playmate...

I can just beat up...

you...

TWICE!

That's all. You can go now.

~ ❤ ~

[Lucky Linda]

”Blaze Freya.” States Lucky Linda. She is in the locker room and stretching before her match, wearing a Wanna Get Lucky t-shirt, she smiles to the camera. “Blaze Freya. Tonight, it is you and I entering the ring. This is a match i am really looking forward too.”

“We have both had many victories, and losses also, that’s how it goes, isn’t it in this thing we do? You win some, you lose some. Inbetween, is how you are judged and remembered. No one really remembers who beat who and when, do they?” Linda shrugs indifferently.

“I remember though.” Linda stops her stretching and looks directly to the camera. “I remember you getting your foot rammed down your own throat by the dregs of the Amazons. The Sinstone’s and Marie Caedes besting you. Then you got a few wins and a bit of momentum going, we all have been there, but then what happened to you Blaze Freya? You were set to take this fed and division by storm, and then entered an old foe, an arch nemesis she called herself of you, one Suzi Spitz.”

“She is good. Real good.” Linda nods to the camera. “I would know, she just bested me last Battleground gone. I make no excuses, she was the better woman on the night, it happens, especially in such a talent filled federation as ours. Anyone can beat anyone on any given day. Not this day though, not for you Blaze. This day is mine.”

“I give my all each and every show for this place, there is something special about it. I sit back and watch all the prima donna’s in the back parading around politicking for this and that. I see it all. I see them leaving in a huff like they are some kings of the world, and what i also see, is no one else see they have gone or even cares, we could ask 90% of the wrestlers here what they thought of this or that person leaving, you know what most would answer, who? “ Linda smirks.

“Not you though Blaze. You made a real impact here. You made people stand up and take notice. I certainly did. You know why they took notice, because it doesn’t really matter if you win or lose, only what you do and how you do it.”

Joe Pesci walks past the door way, see’s Linda talking to the camera and invites himself into her locker room. “Ready for your big match with Freya Linda?” He asks.

“Come right on in” Linda tells him giving him the look.

Ignoring the look or oblivious to it “So toots, how’s things?” Joe asks, pulling over a stool and leaning on a knee as steps on the stool. He is trying the cool, suave look.

“Things are Grand” Linda replies. “They would be a lot grander, if you could get me another match with Avery McCullen.

“Avery? Still? I thought you and her were long finished.” Replies Joe.

“She and I” Linda states “We will never be finished. NEVER! She stabbed me in the back boss, and not once, BUT TWICE! Then carried on like the fans would still love HER! Like it wasn’t really anything. It was, i must say, the worst heel turn in SWAT history. Where did it get her, it got her husband laid up in a coma, AFTER he turned heel on HER! My my, what a sorry state of affairs.”

“That Jakook Maddox is eating up our budget with his damn ICU bills. I tell you what, Joanne tried but Avery stopped her, you get to flick that switch and i can guarantee you, you will get as many matches with Avery as you want.” Pesci grins, it’s a sleazy creepy grin, and it makes your skin crawl.

“You want me to murder someone? For what? A wrestling match?” Linda starts laughing, she bellows and can’t stop and Pesci gets uncomfortable.

“Thinks it’s that damn funny do you?” Pesci snaps. “We’ll see how funny it is next show, when you face Tabitha!” Pesci storms out of Linda’s locker room.

“Tabitha huh.” Linda says to herself, still laughing at the audacity of Pesci to think she would actually murder someone. “Bring her on. Bring anyone on! Starting with you Blaze Freya! “ We fade with Linda still chuckling at Pesci.

[Jonnie Valentine]

["The God of Merch" Jonnie Valentine is waiting in traffic in his Toyota Rav 4 to pick up his son at school. He's listening to Gordon Lightfoot's timeless "If You Could Read My Mind' on the radio while he quietly drums his fingers on the steering wheel]


"The God of Merch" Jonnie Valentine: Woah, woah, woah...what are you doing? No, you can't merge. Fuck no. Especially not you, Carol. Ya early morning PTA meeting suggesting cow! Some of us work SWAT house shows, Carol! We can't all wake up at the crack of dawn to volunteer to make balloon bouquets! 


[Carol successfully merges and gives Jonnie a wave. Jonnie returns with a cursory wave of his own]


Jonnie Valentine: Why won't God kill you?? This is unbelievable. School is a 5 minute ride home. Why do I have to get in line an hour before school lets out? Who runs a school like this? This is worse than how Soutter runs SWAT. At least in SWAT you can have peanut butter. You don't have to worry about peanut allergies in SWAT, even though Lynn Brewster has a severe peanut allergy. You don't have to worry about getting a signed doctor's note to be absent at SWAT. Frostbite gets to skip all of them because of the panic disorder note he has from his old pediatrician. Frankly, I don't even think Joe Pesci read that one. Come to think of it, next PTA meeting, I'm nominating Paul Soutter for vice principal. I could see him thriving in this environment. He would get a walkie talkie, a golf cart, and you could manipulate and exploit a bunch of little morons. It's like the gig you have now, except you get a walkie talkie AND A GOLF CART! That's what we call in the biz, even steven booking...


[Jonnie lays on the horn when a woman in a Subaru almost backs into him]


Jonnie Valentine: Get your head out of your ass, Helen!! But no, you prefer to be SWAT Vince. And if I can't talk you out of it with the very attractive option I just gave you, I'm going to have to make an example out of SWAT Shane and the SWAT Stooges you booked me with in Memphis. And what an example it's gonna be, Paulie. Make sure you get to the laundramat. You get your whitest towel the whitest white you can get it. Because when you see what Kilroy, Syberus, and I do to your boys, you're going to want to give that towel a good spiral toss to Psychotic Goth so he can stop us before you have no stable left.  


[The backseats open up and Jonnie's kid Arn Valentine gets in the car with his friend, Bodi]


Jonnie Valentine: Hey sport, how was school?


[Arn sullenly doesn't answer]


Jonnie Valentine: Ok...who is this other kid in my car?


Bodi: My name is Bodi. 


Jonnie Valentine: (revolted) Why?


Arn Valentine: Hey, you named me Arn. 


Bodi: Is that short for Arnold?


Jonnie Valentine: No! It's short for Arn Anderson Valentine. He's a legend! 


[Bodi shrugs and does that sniff that only 9 year olds that don't blow their nose can do]


Arn Valentine: Drop us off at Bodi's.


Jonnie Valentine: Ok, does your Mom know you're going to Bodi's?


[Both kids are silent. Suddenly a car behind them lays on the horn, making everyone jump]


Jonnie Valentine: Go around, Sheila! JESUS! 


[Sheila goes around, and she and Jonnie share an obligatory wave] 


Jonnie Valentine: I have put people through flaming tables for less, and she... You know what, it's fine, it's...How dare you threaten Ronnie, Phantam. Ronnie never hurt nobody! 


Arn Valentine: Who are you talking to?


Jonnie Valentine: You two claim not to take the cheap way out. Aren't you the guy that caved in our special referee's skull? You tell Psychotic Goth all about your commitment to the high road. Then Timeless, you and I are somewhat similar. We both like to work the arm. But you're never getting that Turnabout on me, namely because you look oilier than a curly fry. You also look like Dog the Bounty Stripper. I've forgotten more about wrestling than you'll ever know. I'm going to show Soutter why he should never send you poor lambs to the slaughter. 

Bodi: (wipes his nose) My Mom said you lost in CWF Germany to a guy pretending to be Stephanie's husband. 


Jonnie Valentine: (adjusts the rear view mirror) This is America, Bodi. And your Mom needs to hide her dream catcher tattoo on her thigh. This isn't Burning Man. 


[Jonnie's car pool leaves the school grounds, bound for Bodi's Mom's house]

[Star]

***Previously Recorded***

The camera opens and all we can see is tan, then the camera pulls away to reveal the tan to be the ground and sagebrush pops up. We can see a dirt road out in the middle of nowhere and pulling back the camera spots a red Cadillac sitting on it, the trunk opens. The camera moves in to see if there’s anyone around. No one is seen immediately until some movement, about 50 or so feet away from the road are two people. One is standing, leaning on a shovel while we can only see from the chest and up on the second individual as they are in a hole. . The back of the heads is all we see for a moment, that and what appears to be shovels of dirt coming up out of hole, done by the work of whoever it is. The camera moves and we can see who it is digging out in the desert…..Joe Pesci is the one leaning on the shovel, which apparently is just for looks as he’s dressed in a dark, three piece suit. The one in the hole is Lynn Brewster, and this is one of “those things” Pesci had thought up. She doesn’t look too happy, as she’s not only thirsty, but hot and sweaty. Finally she stops and looks up at Pesci.

Lynn: You know, even the slaves had water. I would think it would reflect extremely badly on you if I got heat stroke because YOU had me out here digging a hole in this heat and refused to give me water.

Pesci: Water? You….

Lynn is about to throw another shovelful of dirt up, but she stops and leans on the shovel she has. She looks at Pesci and one can almost see her mind thinking of beating Pesci with the shovel she has.

Pesci: You’re suppose to do what I say.

Lynn: And I expect to be treated humanely. Besides, we both know you’re only doing this little …..side thing to make yourself look tough. Well guess what ...I've seen Casino, I presume you have too. In fact I would have thought you would have taken note of your “hero’s” line about holes in the desert.

Pesci walks back towards the car and Lynn throws the shovel out of the hole and then climbs up, and sits on the edge. She adjusts the ballcap she’s wearing and brushes the dirt off her tank top and shorts, then throws the pair of gloves she’s holding to the side. Pesci returns and hands her a bottle of water. She takes it, looks at it and then him.

Pesci: Don't worry I got like six or seven of them cooling in ice. I just wanted to see how far you’d let this go.

Lynn: Oh really? Well……

She stands up.

Lynn: Remember the line? About the holes in the desert?

Pesci thinks and is coming up empty for some reason.

Lynn: Basically you dig holes to take care of people, but you have to be careful who knows where the holes and who the people are…..or you end up digging more holes.

Lynn stands up and looks down at Pesci as there's about 5 inches difference in their height. She glares down at him.

Lynn: So get off this little power trip. I painted your house, mowed your lawn, and now dug this stupid hole. You know I have my own home, my own family that I need to be part of too. So you ...

Pesci: You threatening me?

Lynn: I think some rules need to be set up before I end up wanting to blow your ass away and bury you in this hole. Got it?

Pesci: Ok, you do what I say around the shows. You make sure my laundry is taken care of, my room service is ordered, that my room is clean. You’ll be making sure the KGB locker room is clean, and is set up for us.

Lynn seems to recoil at this last one.

Pesci: Oh I hit a nerve. Which one?

Lynn: Come on, we both know that Roxylishus doesn't exactly like me. Probably has some thoughts in her little brain I’m after her man.

Pesci: You might not want to be insulting the members of KGB

Lynn: Oh we both know her brains are in her boobs. It's the only reason to keep her around. Canelli ...

Pesci: You will do…..ok I can see the way you’re thinking. Valid point about her and probably Joanne. No more holes out here, I’ll promise that.

Lynn: Now ...

Pesci hands Lynn an envelope. She opens it cautiously and unfolds.

Lynn: Seriously?

Pesci: Go take care of ...your interests and I’ll see you at the show. I know it's not much time, but you keep behaving and I’ll see you get more time with the family.

Lynn: You realize you have another problem around SWAT, right?

Pesci looks at her, confused. Could it be that Lynn is willing to share what the rumors and gossip are saying?

Lynn: You dont treat me right, it won’t be me getting in your face about it. There's someone else.

Pesci: That Tolston guy? Come on, I know you could beat him ...and do it blindfolded and in a cage.

The both shudder, remembering an ill fated match in another company that had been exactly that.

Lynn: You’re right, I could. Its someone else but for now ...they'll just stay in the shadows. Now am I done?

Pesci: You’re done. Grab the shovels and we’ll get out of here.

Lynn grabs both shovels and tosses them in the trunk and slams it shut. She then gets in the car, starts it and looks at Pesci.

Pesci: Head into town, we have a reservation for a suite and then we’ll part ways in the morning.

Lynn: I’m not sharing a hotel room, not with you.

Pesci rolls his eyes but Lynn is unable to see it.

Pesci: We have a suite at Caesar’s, so your virtue is in tact. Better?

Lynn nods and throws the car into drive. She steps on the gas, sending pebbles up behind the car. She whips it around and heads towards Las Vegas in the distance.

Jeremy Tucker: It seems that Pesci really is taking this whole slave thing with Lynn to heart.

Andrew Fulton: Well Lynn did agree to the match.

Jeremy Tucker: Never mind that Pesci offered the thing Lynn wanted most. How long is he seriously going to keep this up?

Andrew Fulton: That's up to him, and no one else.

Jeremy Tucker: Except I see him pushing Lynn too far once too often and she’ll snap. We’ve seen hints of the temper but I dont think Pesci has ever seen it at full boil.

Andrew Fulton: But if she doesn’t do as he says, she is in violation of the terms of the agreement. And knowing Lynn, she’s already had it looked over by a legal team.

[King Syberus]

[The camera opens on Syberus doing one armed push ups. In walks Kilroy Evans, who stands watching for a moment, before crouching down next to him.]

Kilroy: Hey chief... whatcha doing?

Syberus: Givin' it 110%.

Kilroy: Yeahhhh... that's great, that's really great.

So... you gonna take a break for a minute?

Syberus: Can't. Still givin' it 110%.

Kilroy: No, no I see that. Sure. Well, when you're ready-

[Syberus switches arms.]

Syberus: You see I realised where I was going wrong.

Kilroy: Oh yeah?

Syberus: Yep. I wasn't giving it 110%. From now on I'm giving it 110%.

Kilroy: Well it's just that... these nice people are here to do your promo.

Syberus: Sure. Roll cameras.

Kilroy: Well you doing push ups isn't really a promo. You aren't Bruno.

Syberus: Ha! That's what you think. What're you clocking like 98, 99%? This is what 110% looks like. You need to get with it if we're going to work as a team.

[Syberus kneels up, sweating. He wears a t-shirt that reads “110% BITCH” in white letters which subsequently Kilroy sees for the first time.]

Kilroy: Whoa whoa, hold up. Is that t-shirt supposed to say “110%, BITCH!” or is it saying you ARE 110% bitch?

Syberus: What do you mean?

Kilroy: I think you're missing a comma.

Syberus: Look all that matters is that from now on, I'm 110% effort, week in, week out, without fail. The rest is history. You're now looking at “110%” Syberus.

Kilroy: I don't think that really works as a nickname. Seems kinda klunky.

Syberus: Pffft you're what I call a low percenter.

Kilroy: You JUST made that up.

Syberus: That's what a low percenter would say, low percenter. You wanna be a low percenter your whole life?

[Kilroy thinks for a moment then his head drops.]

Kilroy: No...

Syberus: Didn't think so.

Kilroy: But wouldn't 110% be kind of redundant within “the great” moniker? You're “the great” Syberus! It's in there! It's at least implied!

[Kilroy shakes Syberus by his grammatically incorrect bitch t-shirt.]

Kilroy: It's implied!!

Syberus: You'd think! But no. See greatness is a time sensitive resource. It's in the past. “No one gives a shit about your cage matches with Lucifer Jones” they say. “Can you hang with Hells Bouncer??”

[Syberus starts doing crunches.]

Syberus: Sure there'll be guys sat at home watching this thinking effort doesn't equate to a great promo. EFFORT DOESN'T MAKE QUALITY they'll scream at the television, as they sit alone wondering why Helen and the kids spend all their time at Steve's in Vermont. Low percenters. That's why they sit crying into their ramen while I slam their wives. That's right. I AM STEVE.

[Kilroy legitimately gasps.]

Kilroy: Steve NO!

Syberus: It's time to make sweeping changes. HNNNGGG it's time to up the tempo. HNNNGGG!!!

[Syberus grimaces out the last couple of crunches.]

Syberus: Okay, I'll stop. But only to give 110% to this promo.

Kilroy: Attaboy.

Syberus: You see Kilroy, can I call you Kilroy?

Kilroy: Well that's my actual name, a fact you've known for many years so yes.

[Syberus mops his face with a towel, throws it on his shoulder and walks over to a flip board.]

Syberus: I tried working out the percentage needed to succeed in SWAT.

[He flips over the board revealing this meme:]



Kilroy: Ha!

Syberus: Turns out only 110% will do. Things were different back the day, Kilroy. It was quality over quantity. Sure Rally Jackson was an excellent wrestler who brought the ha-ha's, but could he bring the sheer force of will of the likes of Powerhouse or Strike Force?? These guys hustle.

Kilroy *now on Whatsapp and visibly bored *: Uhuh, uhuh, that's whatever you were talking about for ya.

Syberus: So from now on I'm “110%” Syberus. The clue is in the title, ladies and germs. Take me on, and you take on a man willing to go to a higher level than you can even fathom. Look. I even stopped working out for this promo yet I'm already on a treadmill.

[The camera pans out to reveal he is indeed on a treadmill. He speeds it up to a slow jog.]

Syberus: Radu probably thinks that it's all gravy. It's done and dusted. He won't see 110% Syberus for a long, long time.

And he's right.

Unfortunately, I lost, by pinfall don't you know, despite the fact his previous two defences bubble-wrapped the challengers so tight you could have mailed them unscathed to the centre of a dying star. But no face-saving for ol' Syberus no. Just a clean pin and a ticket back to the bottom of the pile. And that's fine. Because you have to earn things in SWAT, Kilroy. You can't just, you know, like, GET A TITLE SHOT after just coming back.

Kilroy: But you just-

Syberus: But Soutter and the KGB didn't count on one thing. The reforming of the greatest stable in wrestling history. It's funny... there will be members of the SWAT audience that actually think the KGB represent wrestling dominance. What with the fact they smush themselves all over every main event, constantly demeaning the actual matches taking place because NONE OF THEM WERE EVER GOOD ENOUGH TO BE IN ONE.

But the Society of the New Breed has been reforged- just like Andúril, Flame of the West.

Kilroy: Nerd.

Syberus: And the KGB will answer to the kings of wrestling.

It doesn't matter how long it takes.

It doesn't matter how many bodies I have to go through. If I have to go through the entire roster. If my next title shot arrives because I'm the only guy left. The absolute travesty which was my title match last week will not be repeated.

But up first, it's Team Fairtex. FOR SHAME did they turn on Psychotic Goth. I suppose we can detour from my ultimate quest to teach them the depth of their mistake. Plus, nothing like snapping some fools in half to soothe what ails ya. And “Timeless” Alex Turner, a man that makes me sad to be alive. Jesus we really are starting at the bottom aren't we.

Well folks. GONE ARE THE DAYS where I'd just say some cool shit, you'd say some lame shit, and then I'd beat you in a wrestling match. PREPARE for weeks upon weeks of gruelling lengthy rhetoric, perhaps just saying the same things you guys do but for longer, maybe format it up a little here and there, the way only a guy truly putting in 110% can!!

Now if you'll excuse me, the utter destruction of three KGB minions can wait. I've got 110% to put in.

[Syberus starts reading Decartes while still on the treadmill as the camera fades. Kilroy somehow realises the camera is fading and sort of waves goodbye just in time.]