Battleground #19 : At Any Cost (Show)

[SWAT Team]

Syndicate Wrestling & Tradition and the XHF presents ....

Jeremy Tucker : Welcome fans, to SWAT Battleground AT ANY COSTS!!!

Andrew Fulton : The hits keep coming Jerry, Radu got past Jade at War Crimes, barely, but tonight, Tong has him in a Thai Death Match!

Jeremy Tucker : That’s Tongs world, Radu’s been battling against the odds since he won the belt, and now that Tong has joined the KGB, he suddenly gets the title match he has been after for months, funny that.

Andrew Fulton : Mr Pesci wants the belt off Radu and in the KGB, At Any Cost!

Jeremy Tucker : Forget the KGB! This is the Society’s time now, they made mince meat of the KGB in the TLC last show, and now tonight, we get to see Kilroy and Soutter hook it up AND Jonnie and Timeless! Wow, two matches for the ages.

Andrew Fulton : I will be the first to admit that The Society can go, but believe you me, the KGB will not stand by and be over shadowed, not by Anyone!

Jeremy Tucker : Since he returned to SWAT, Syberus has been calling the name of Psychotic Goth, and tonight, they finally are paired up, this could well be the match of the night Fulton.

Andrew Fulton : I hope they beat the hell out of each other and both are gone from here, the sight of the pair of them makes my skin crawl and whoever loses, we all win really.

Jeremy Tucker : What about Suzi and Frostbite meeting this week, last week we saw Jade go for the World Belt, and one must think whoever wins out of these two will be in line for a shot at the champ.

Andrew Fulton : Could do, more importantly, my fav girl Blaze is back in action, last show, she lost it and i was appalled by the behaviour of Linda, Lynn and Syberus, what a bunch of bullies, she will get her revenge on then, all of them, and Avery tonight will feel the Wrath of Freya, you mark my words.

Jeremy Tucker : How about the return last show of Marty Donovan! And he joined the Society no less.

Andrew Fulton : They are all coming out of the woodwork. Will they last the duration, that is the question.

Jeremy Tucker : That it is. We will be right back with our first match of the evening, Marty hooking up with Brian Acres, right after a few words from our wrestlers.

[radu]

[Brien O. Thomas.]

[TJ Souza.]

[The O-Z.]

[They walk down the hallway with all the swagger of Will Smith and Martin Lawrence in Bad Boys.  You expect the water cooler behind them to explode, they're THAT cool.]


Brien O. Thomas: The Indian Assassins tried their best to liquidate us at War Crimes, but we're still standing.  You try to ASSASSINATE a man... better make sure you get the job done at any cost!  I thought you knew a lot about jobs, Rajiv?


TJ Souza: That's right, BOT!  Rajiv.  Mohammad.  You tried to take out the most consistent tag team in the history of SWAT, but you came up short.  Now its OUR TURN boys... this shit just got serious.


[The O-Z put on their COOL SHADES so you know their badasses.]











"Its so nice to see your night job, Terrence."


[Did the camera stop recording?  TJ Souza isn't sure how long he can keep up his stylish pose.]

"What's that Ethel?"

"I SAID IT WAS NICE OF TERRENCE TO TAKE US TO HIS WO---are the batteries out on your hearing aid again?"

"Where am I?"

[The camera pans over from our TOO COOL future tag champions to find that the Shady Acre retirement community that TJ Zousa teaches interpretive dance to during the days have decided to join them for a field trip.]


TJ Zousa: You guys ok?

Larry N: I can't find my pills.

Gertrude: Who do you think is going to win between Suzi Spitz and Frostbite?  I'll bet all my Percocet on Spitz!

Hammond <leaning on his walker>: A lady fighting a cold.  What kind of den of iniquity has TJ taken us too?

TJ Zousa <breaking his cool stance>: You'll never be able to properly rumba if you don't recapture your lust for life!  Take in the sights and smells of the arena, feel the passion of blood lust!  Live while you can my friends! <turn to the camera> For men like the Khans are on borrowed time!  We should enjoy every moment just to mock their pending doom!

[TJ Zousa does a quick two step, before striking a badass pose next to his partner.]

Eunice: This place smells like cabbage.

Duncan: I have to go to the little boys room.

[BOT starts to rub his temple.  He's been programmed to respond to any indignity with a passive aggressive ignorance, but this is really trying his patience.]

Brien O. Thomas: This is an important night... did we really have to bring---

TJ Zousa: Our fans?  YES!  There may only be twenty of them, and they might not be around in a month...

[Chester Applebaum coughs hoarsely.]

TJ Zousa: ...a week... but as the ONLY TAG TEAM IN SWAT that has fans, we need to show that fact off!  A win over the Khans is an important step towards challenging the straps. <back to camera> HEAR THAT FAIRTEX BROTHERS?!  I hope Tong enjoys the main event, because its only a matter of time before we're dragging you down to the opening match, and your belts are ours!

Brien O. Thomas <regroup>: The KGB will pay for last week, but first we have to take out some trash. <long beat> ...By which I mean The Assassins.

[The two men once start to swagger like Bad Boys.]

Alister (reprisal): Where am I?

Duncan: Nevermind.

[The two men cringe.  Are they going to have to order their guests a cab?  After kicking Rajiv Khan's ass, that will be awkward.  Still, they have to find a way to get these grotesque senior citizen stereotypes home... at any cost.]

[King Syberus]

Warning. The first portion of this promo is gratuitous filler. It does not need to be read. It does not contain high quality writing. High volume? Hooo you betcha. If you want to scroll it and just catch the part of the end that's actually decent, that'd be a good call.

But if you wanna give it 110%, just like 110% Syberus gives it 110%... you keep readin' champ.

[The camera slowly fades into the scene of a tired old gym, the kind you see in movies about washed up boxers making a comeback, returning to their roots, and picking up their alcoholic depressive former managers for one last run at the big time. We pan past a serviceable yet seemingly ancient wrestling ring with worn ropes and battered turnbuckles, past the obligatory punch bag swaying ever so slightly for dramatic effect and the occasional creak from it's chain, past some beaten in, rusted lockers, and finally coming to rest on a wooden bench, on which sits one of the greatest professional wrestlers to have ever set foot in the ring. 110% Syberus is exhausted, from giving it 110% of course, wearing his “110% BITCH” T-Shirt and training gear. He leans forward, sweat pouring from his face, leaning on his knees.]

Syberus: Did you feel it? Did you feel the shifting sands at... uh, whatever the last show was called? The KGB's miniscule peons were bested, thrown aside, cast asunder, wiped out by the most important stable of the highest possible wrestling calibre known to man. The greatest stable that has ever existed, or will ever exist. The Society of the New Breed. Jonnie Valentine, Kilroy Evans, Marty Donovan, Tuxedo Mask and the best ever form of Syberus that there's ever been. 110% Syberus. What could the KGB possibly throw at such a collection of legends to slow us down? I don't see it happening. But I'm sure the KGB will grind this out and delay the inevitable for as long as they possibly can.

At any cost.

I've been around the block too many times in this business to be surprised at anything really. But even I'll admit that Tong Fairtex getting a title shot caught me off guard. Not much could really cheapen the opportunity at wrestling for the Heavyweight Championship of the World, but seeing Tong in the main event only two weeks after I was, really punctuates the fact that me being in there really wasn't the consequence of any serious deliberation from a booking perspective. There have been forces in this business which have tried to hold me down since the day I walked into UWA. In a way it's nice to know that they're still in effect... it makes it all the sweeter when I, invariably, win anyway in the end.

At any cost.

And where does 110% Syberus find himself after all this? Back in the midcard with Psychotic Goth. A match that I asked for a while back admittedly. Goth... you and I went toe to toe the last time I was here in SWAT, and it's time for me to settle the score once again. We really can't have any evidence out here that you're even close to my level and as such, I'm afraid I'll have to utterly annihilate you. At any cost. You understand of course.

My road back to the SWAT World Heavyweight Championship is going to be a long and gruelling one. I know this. Everyone knows this. I won't be given another throw away title match, I'll have to earn it by basically going through everyone else in the roster while management takes it's time in making Matei look like the sun shines out of his majestic loins. But that's okay. Because I'm 110% Syberus. And if there's one thing 110% does, it's put in the percents. And it's funny Goth, you're not such a low percenter in that regard yourself. You're here, each and every week. Putting in the grind. Working your ass off. Sure, you struggle to put together two coherent sentences. But who getting pushed by the booking team here does?? Really it's not about quality. It's about how hard you work, putting in the long haul, and being able to take the shit. And no one does that better than you, Goth.

In many ways, low percenters could learn a lot from you.

Thankfully, they don't have to. Because 110% Syberus is a high percenter himself now. Putting in the work. Week after week. Being here. Saying things. Saying a lot of things. Saying a lot of things whether it's coherent, entertaining, relevant or accurate at all. Doesn't matter. 'cause I'm a company man. I'm a SWAT man. And if there's one thing that'll get you ahead here in SWAT, it's showing up. Actually being GOOD is kind of [he does a “so-so” motion with his hand.] shall we say an added bonus, sometimes an inconvenient distraction. But what am I saying, you know all this, you're a high percenter too. High percenters like me and you, Goth, we get it. There's low percenters out there that think you can just do this shit like we did in the old days, drop a few quips, do a DDT then walk out with the belt on your shoulder and your hand in the air. It 'aint like that. What about word count? Your word count over the past few months has put me to shame Goth, and I'm not letting that stand any more.

At any cost.

[Syberus gets up and walks over to a window. It's raining outside. Syberus leans on the window and looks out of it, wistfully. His expression tells it's own story. Where to go from here? What is the point of all this? Does the Society of the New Breed really hold the same relevance it once did? Will Marty Donovan stick around? Will he ever receive any proceeds from the bow tie sales? None have come through yet. Syberus smiles, as though he's remembering an old friend as he looks out of the window, rain beading down it like a waterfall of time and memories. He turns back to the camera.]

Syberus: Psychotic Goth, at any cost I will destroy you in there. I need this win, Goth. I need to beat you cleanly in the middle of that ring. I need to put you behind me in the list, because each name I go through is a name closer to a rematch for the World Heavyweight Championship. Perhaps even a match that I can win this time, but we'll have to see about that. My word count needs a shot in the arm, not to mention how weak my workout scene game has been. I mean I was going so 110% here tonight, that I finished my work out before the camera's rolled!

[He palms his forehead.]

Syberus: Idiot! Always save a few reps for the cameras. But the more I think about it, Goth, maybe Tong getting his title shot isn't a bad thing either. Maybe he deserves it. He, like you, is here week after week, putting in the yards, whether he sucks so badly that he makes the viewers' souls drain into a black hole of despair each time he utters a word is another matter, he's here. He says things, and really isn't that what professional wrestling is all about?

[Syberus starts drinking a protein shake for maximum gains from his 110% intensity workout he just did.]

Syberus: Goth, I know you probably would like to think you're catching me on one of those 99% days but you're not. Those days are gone. Those chances are over. The last person to catch me at anything less than 110% was Radu Matei, and he was awarded an undeserving win because of it. I can't let that happen again. I won't let that happen again, Goth. I'm going to win this match at any cost. I'd like to say I'll win it by being better than you, but really that doesn't matter. So Goth I'm going to win this match because I want to more than you do. You can't even imagine how much I want to beat you, Goth. It's a humbling thing to experience given, you know, who you are in this business compared to who I am in this business, but there we have it. I need to beat you. I need to put in 110%. I need to treat this match like a title match, because that's the only way I'm going to get another title match.

[We fade to a flashback scene. Nah this isn't the good bit yet. But high percenters love a flashback scene where there were inexplicably cameras. A young, skinny Syberus is leaving his home in the north of England to explore his wrestling career. Given that it's the north of England it looks like the 1940's and Syberus's dad looks on dissaprovingly beneath a flat cap, stretching his bracers out while Syberus's dear old mum stands in the background scowling holding two crying infants.]

Syb's Dad: Owt with ye then! Go on off te New York. Off to them bloody USA's. No, no don't worry about me and yer mam. We'll deal wit' milking season oursels.

Syberus: But DAD! It's in me blood! Grandad werr a wrestler too!

Syb's Dad: YER grandad werr a wrestler back when wrestlin' wasn't all this namby-pamby ballet tights and disco balls. YER grandad werr a wrestler when it was PROPER. When it was GRAFT. The likes of Jimmy Toothpicks an' Big Crusha won't be seen over in them USA's. BUT YOU GO AN' SEE FOR YERSELF! GO ON! OFF WITH YE!

[Young Syberus runs off crying, his suitcase pops open and drops his belongings. We fade back to Syberus in the worn out gym, punching a punch bag with absolutely no finesse whatsoever. But damnit if he isn't giving it 110%.]

Syberus: Goth... [punch, punch] the fact that you and I even have a storied history together shows the state of wrestling at the moment [punch, punch], it seems with each passing day we drift further and further afield of the level we once held [punch,punch] the Society of the New Breed is back to change all that. Not to wind the clocks back. But to ensure another gold standard era in professional wrestling is even possible. At any cost.

You know why? [punch, punch]

Because as must as the management here in SWAT would like to believe it you aren't going to reach that standard again with “Timeless” Alex Turner. With Hell's Bouncer. Or Radu Matei. [punch, punch] But I get it. They don't want the clock in, clock out mentality we used to have. And that's why 110% Syberus is giving it 110%. Backed with the Society of the New Breed that gold standard now has a high-percenter at its' helm. Now I've got to wrap this promo up. I'm down for relief janitorial duties at SWAT headquarters and ol' Sal's wife's gout is flaring up again. At least that's what he was saying on the whatsapp thread yesterday. Though it's mostly been janitorial based memes NORMIES like you wouldn't understand.

So Goth... be prepared for the sheer fucking VOLUME of percents about to come your way at At Any Cost. Because 110% Syberus 110% needs a win. At Any Cost.

[The camera fades.]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Did you read all that? Jesus. Alright... anyway we open on 110% Syberus knocking on a door. He doesn't wait for an answer and walks in. The rest of the Society of the New Breed are present. Kilroy sits at a desk with headphones and mic on. Jonnie stands infront of a camera manned by Ronnie the Merch Guy. Tuxedo Mask and Marty Donovan are in the background looking cool and tough with popped collars and shades and their arms folded tough guy style. They remain static and are regularly out of focus during the scene.]


“The Niche Market” Jonnie Valentine: (robotically) Sei infelice perché l'abbondante adulterio e il teppismo calcistico ti fanno male ai piedi? So di esserlo. Ecco perché uso l'unguento per i piedi di "The Stylistics" per i piedi.


Kilroy Evans: (fast disclaimer style) Non riconosciuto dalla European Public Health Association...


Syberus: How's it going?


Ronnie the Merch Guy: The guy's a natural, kid.


Jonnie Valentine: (patting his face with a towel and sipping on a juice box) Remember what I told you when you took over Hardkore World before running it into the ground?


Syberus: You said “ha, now it's your problem” before throwing me a set of keys which made no sense because it had no fixed address at the time and driving off in Ronnie's RV.


Jonnie Valentine: No, no I'm pretty sure I said “Merch is King”.


Syberus: What were the keys anyway?


Jonnie Valentine: They may have been to a series of security boxes held by Cyrus Williams, we already checked, there was nothing good.


[Ronnie shakes his head.]


Syberus: Anyway, did you guys all get my schedule for giving it 110%?


Jonnie Valentine: You mean the printout you slid under the door this morning that just has “crunches” copy and pasted over and over?


[Kilroy uses his to wipe dorito flavourings off his fingers as he continues.]


Kilroy: (fast disclaimer style) Può causare dolore nella regione del piede...


Syberus: Trust me it'll change your life.


Ronnie the Merch Guy: We could do a workout DVD. Christmas is around the corner.


[All three of them mull it over.]


Jonnie Valentine: So what's up?


Syberus: Well, actually I came here for a little advice.


Kilroy: (fast disclaimer style) Disponibile in tre gusti distinti. Non consumare...


Jonnie Valentine: I understand. Take a seat.


[They sit on a leather sofa while Jonnie pours some herbal tea.]


Syberus: Jonnie you've known me for a long time. I've got this big match coming up with Psychotic Goth.


[Jonnie nods wisely as he hands Syberus the cup.]


Ronnie the Merch Guy: Already got you covered, champ.


[Ronnie holds a t-shirt up which has a face off between Syberus and Psychotic Goth on the front and the title “Syberus vs Goth XII: It's in Carolina this time”.]


Syberus: Quality as usual. But it's not the merch I'm worried about.


Jonnie Valentine: It should be, always.


Kilroy: (fast disclaimer style) Potente esplosivo. Non conservare vicino a bambini o anziani...


[Syberus sips his tea.]


Syberus: New blend?


Ronnie the Merch Guy: Honey and echinacea.


Jonnie Valentine: I have this throat tickle I'm trying to shift.


Syberus: Jonnie I've got to be honest with you. I'm doubting myself here. Can I really bring enough percents to beat Psychotic Goth?


“A shoulder to cry on” Jonnie Valentine: Syberus let me tell you something. There was once a Hardkore World Heavyweight champion that everyone hated. I mean everyone. “Why are you pushing him?” they'd say. “This is the worst thing ever”. “Never, ever has a worse professional wrestler or human being been so disgracefully elevated above his true, mediocre station”. People cried! People quit! In hindsight; it was probably a terminal business decision for Hardkore World and, myself personally.


And you know who that champion was, Syb?


Syberus: Wh... who??


[Jonnie rests a reassuring hand on Syberus's shoulder.]


Jonnie Valentine: It was you.


So you see don't worry about how many percents you need to bring to beat Psychotic Goth. The percents? Why...


[He points to his chest.]


Jonnie Valentine: They're in HERE all along.


Syberus: Wow.


Kilroy: (fast disclaimer style) ...sconsigliato questo prodotto viene applicato sulla pelle...


Jonnie Valentine: Now you go gettem. We have Scandinavia to cover next.


[Kilroy swivels round in his office chair with two thumbs up.]


Kilroy: Erinomainen!!


[They all laugh as the camera cuts to black.]

[edwarddubin0604]

(The tron shows Vampira and Psychotic Goth surrounded by darkness but with thunder and lightning heard and seen in the background.)

Vampira: "Syberus beware of what you say and what you remember."

Psychotic Goth: "Syberus you obviously have either a very short memory or I gave you too many concussions during our violent wars. Do you not remember that it was you who asked the management to assign me to the six-man TLC Match as much as I hate both KGB and New Society of the New Breed. Did you not forget that I was the one who was showing your team great favor. It was I who was handing you the victory most of the match until the KGB knocked me out and you had your fucking stooge. That fucking no show bitch Marty Donovan hand you the rest of the win."

(He roars in an ancient dialect as thunder is heard.)

Psychotic Goth: "If you wanted your fucking drag queen whore Marty Donovan to referee the match. Why didn't you convince them to put your personal lover into the match and save yourself the trouble of enjoying the celebration of having a New Society of the New Breed bed orgy and ell the DVD and streaming rights top help pay for Valentine's debts."

(Psychotic Goth laughs like a madman.)

Psychotic Goth: "Oh I would tune in to that and laugh at your little sex acts since it would be so embarrassing to see that or anything close to it."

(He pauses as the lightning and thunder sound.)

Psyhotic Goth: "Now I heard how you were whining and crying about being deprived of title shots because you are The Great Syberus but ask yourself oh 110%. Ask yourself Syberus where were you after SWAT ACW died when Pesci closed the division while in the middle of the hellish Hell in the Cell battle between various wrestlers and I was on my way of winning back the title I never lost and that was the SWAT ACW heavyweight Title. Where were you? WHERE WERE YOU!"

(The thunder and lightning crashes louder and lights up the screen as he roars in ancient dialect.)

Psychotic Goth: "After that you practically disappeared. You vanished into thin air and never returned for two years and suddenly you grace everyone with your mighty presence. Meanwhile I, Psychotic Goth, 'The King of the Goths' remained in SWAT loyal and true to my home promotion. I never changed who I was and I never abandoned my fans or my home. Yet you Syberus showed nothing near 110% loyalty to your promotion by staying. Was it because you didn't want to wrestle under a woman named Lynn Brewster. Yet when she was forced out of her position into a slave role you just happened to return along with the rest of the worthless old geezer shits."

(The thunder and lightning explodes louder as Psychotic Goth bellows in an ancient dialect.)

Psychotic Goth: "That's right you and those other old fucks suddenly return so conveniently. Yet I stayed along with a few others but you were nowhere to be found. You just disappeared and faded into insignificance until now. Answer me Syberuys! ANSWER ME AND EVERYONE NOW!"

(He breathes savagely as the thunder sounds louder.)

Psychotic Goth: "TELL THE TRUTH BITCH! TELL EVERYONE THE TRUTH IF YOU CAN TELL THE FUCKING TRUTH! I'LL TELL EVERYONE! YOU WANT ONE LAST MOMENT OF GLORY! YOU NEED THESPOTLIGHT! YOU NEED TO STEAL GLORY FROM ALL THOSE WHO ARE MORE DESERVING THAN YOU! WELL I'M GOING TO PUT YOU DOWN ONCE AND FOR ALL!"

(He bellows in a more beastly manner as the thunder and lightning crashes even louder.)

Psychotic Goth: "You can keep your fucking title shot if you even you prove to be a loser to me. I'm aiming for bigger and better things. I'm aiming for a higher destiny and you're not going to be a part of it. In fact, I'm going to make sure that your life is going to be a living hell. I'm going to be a nightmare that you'll never be able to wake up from. I'm going to drown you in your own personal hell and keep you there forever. If I have to help your enemies so be it. I shall make sure my curse upon you shall remain forever."

(Psychotic Goth roars in an ancient dialect.)

Psychotic Goth: "What will you do about it Syberus. You going to cry and run to your daddy. You going to cry and plead with him about how I insulted you and then beat you. Let's see what's going to happen when that occurs. I shall bring you misery before, during and after the match is over."

(Psychotic Goth lowers hisn head and extends his arms before flinging his head back revealing his pale handsome gothlike looks.)

Psychotic Goth: "This is going to be your fate. That's going to be your destiny. Let's see what's going to happen when you get exactly what's coming to you. You shall suffer at the my hands and if anyone interferes it's going to be your undoing because you probably insulted someone else. Your fate shall be in my hands Syberus and I plan on making sure your fate is sealed in hell. So it is written and so it shall be done."

(The thunder and lightning crashes loudly turns the tron screen white before it goes dark.)

[SWAT Team]

["My Heart Beats With People" by Jonnie Valentine plays over the loud speaker and Marty Donovan heads down to the ring, he is wearing a Society of the New Breed t-shirt and looks in terrific shape.]

Jeremy Tucker : Welcome back folks and here we have Marty Donovan set to battle it out with Brian Acres. Marty returned at War Crimes and boy did he make an impact, helping the Society to Victory over the KGB in the TLC 6 man tag match.

Andrew Fulton : Something he will come to regret here in SWAT, mark my words.

Jeremy Tucker : Referee Joe Davola calls for the bell and we are under way. Donovan with a side headlock and he grinds on it, then Acres pushes him into the ropes and Donovan bounces off them and he and Acres meet with a thunderous shoulder block, both men crashing to the canvas.

Andrew Fulton : Acres has the power advantage on Donovan, but the momentum sends them both to the mat.

Jeremy Tucker : Marty rolls out of the ring, clearly surprised, and calls for a time out, Referee Davola tells him there is no time out in wrestling and starts a count out, Acres leaning over the ropes demanding Marty get in and fight him like a ... Donovan grabs Acres by the ankle and trips him up then pulls him out of the ring, he rams his head into the apron and then Irish whips him into the steel steps.

Andrew Fulton : Marty is angry, and he jabs a left jab into the eye of Acres. Then, head butts him and rolls him back in the ring.

Jeremy Tucker : Donovan has a temper, and he slides back in the ring, Argentine back breaker by Marty on Acres.

Andrew Fulton : Marty drops a knee to the downed Acres, rolls and bounces off the ropes and sliding drop kick to Acres.

Jeremy Tucker : Acres is in big trouble here, clearly outmatched. Marty heads to the top rope, and double ax handles Acres.

Andrew Fulton : Marty running powerslams Acres into the corner, and leaves him tied up there in the tree of woe. He goes to the opposite corner, and runs in and punts Acres right in the nuts! Come on Ref!

Jeremy Tucker : Davola admonishing Marty and Marty telling him it was the abs where he kicked him, yeah right.

Andrew Fulton : Acres is still in the tree of woe, Marty hooks him, and DDT!

Jeremy Tucker : Marty with a V Trigger shortarm Omega knee strike to the face!!! Acres is OUT! Cover by Marty .............

One .................

Two .........................

THREE!!!!!!

Andrew Fulton : Impressive victory to Donovan! He looks sharp, Society can do no wrong!

Frank Salazar : WINNER OF THE MATCH.... MARTY DONOVAN!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Coming up next folks, we have tag team action! The Khans Vs the O-Zs!!! Stay tuned.

[Jonnie Valentine]

[WNCZ, Charlotte's top drive time radio team, Captain Jack and The Dong are in the middle of their morning show]


Captain Jack: (Jim Carrey impression) Allll-righty then. It is 10 minutes past the hour and lets take a look at the traffic report. Wowzer, the I-77 is a parking lot, avoid it like I avoid my mother-in-law's meatloaf. 


[The Dong presses a button that makes a puking sound. Real splashy, so they hang on it for a few minutes]


Captain Jack: Sorry bout that, think some of it is still coming up. On I-277, we have a mattress in the middle lane...hey, Dong. I think your wife is working in the middle of a highway tonight. 


The Dong: Uh oh! 


[The Dong presses a button that has bed springs squeaking] 


Captain Jack: In downtown Charlotte is currently 67 degrees. It's a little muggy at 57 percent humidity and there is a 15% chance of rain, or about the same chance of The Dong banging Scarlett Johansenn. Am I right?


The Dong: That sounds a little high, Jack. 


Captain Jack: We have fun here at Captain Jack And The Dong Show. And if you want to have fun this Saturday night, come on out to the Spectrum Arena where SWAT will be having a wrasslin show. My guests here this morning are South Carolina's own, Kilroy Evans and...(reads card) 'Notoriously Hard To Work With' Jonnie Valentine. Do I have that right?


"Notoriously Hard To Work With" Jonnie Valentine: That's right, Captain. I want to invite...


Kilroy Evans: Oh my God! I grew up listening to this show! I can't believe I'm sitting here with Captain and The Dong! Sorry to hear your wife is sleeping around again, Dong. 


Captain Jack: Well, how about that? We got a fan, Dong. 


Kilroy Evans: (talking too fast) Do you remember the time you came to my middle school?? And you said the kids that sold the most candy got dinner for 10 of their friends in a limo??


Captain Jack: Not really, but if you say so. Now, Jonnie you...


Kilroy Evans: (talking too fast)Well, I went to every neighbor and sold as much candy as I could! And then when nobody would buy anymore, I bought as much as I could! I turned it all in, but I guess someone else sold more because I never got the limo ride. 


Captain Jack: I'll be honest with you, there's no limo. We just set it at some impossible number so the kids try and sell as much candy as they can. Jonnie you have a stretcher match with Timeless Alex Turner...


Kilroy Evans: I went to bad neighborhoods to sell that candy, Jack. A grown man stole my bicycle. 


Captain Jack: Take it up with your middle school, kid. I just do the appearances. Back to the stretcher match, Jonnie. 


[The Dong presses a button that makes a rubber stretching noise]


Captain Jack: Sorry just squeezing into my wrestling trunks there. It sounds like someone can get hurt in one of those matches?


Jonnie Valentine: I sure hope not. I'm going to do strictly scientific wrestling to try and better my opponent. 


Kilroy Evans: Sounds can't lose to me. 


Captain Jack: Kilroy you are wrestling "Mad Dog" Paul Soutter. I've seen pictures and the guy is bigger than The Dong's prom date.


[The Dong pushes a button that makes an elephant noise]


Kilroy Evans: That was my Aunt Sandy. 


The Dong: Tell her I still think about her. 


Kilroy Evans: I will. 


Captain Jack: Everyone is talking about seeing Kilroy wrestle in his homestate for the first time in a while. How's it feel?


Kilroy Evans: It's amazing. I can't wait to put Soutter in the dirt with The Bad Touch in front of all my friends and family. 


The Dong: Will Sandy be there?


Kilroy Evans: She's moved on Dong. With Uncle Kevin. And Uncle Carl. And now Uncle Nancy. 


The Dong: I blew it. 


[Dong pushes a button that has a man melodramatically crying]


Captain Jack: Timeless Alex Turner is a strong dude too, Jonnie. How do you get him on a stretcher?


Jonnie Valentine: Hiptoss?


Captain Jack: Ok, that's our time. Be sure to head on out to the wrasslin show at The Spectrum Arena. Bell time is at 7:30. Kids are half off! We gotta take a break but coming up, we all took a dump in a mayonnaise jar and The Dong has to figure out who's is who's or he has to streak at a funeral! 


The Dong: I...hate my life. 


Kilroy Evans: Can I keep the headphones? 

[SWAT Team]

[We see the Indian Assassins Rajiv and Mohammad Khan back stage preparing for their match up. Rajiv is in his untucked Taxi driver shirt, and Mohammed is wearing his Princley Indian jewellery with a SABU t-shirt on, (his elephant not the cripple).]

Rajiv : So , End of Days was a complete disaster.

Mohammed : What did you expect, you go in there telling them you’re the worst of everyone, and expect to win?

Rajiv : Not the worst of EVERYONE! (Rajiv spits out the words with venom) The worst of SWAT! Still better than any of the rest of this XHF cess pool, and especially that UOW! Them hacks average 4 shows a year!

Mohammed : Cousin. This is your problem. You come here and you have been domesticated.

Rajiv : Domesticated? Who are you? Robin Thicke?

Mohammed : Who?

Rajiv : Blurred lines ... (sings Rajiv) you know you want it!

Mohammed : STOP! Enough is enough! I sat by in India watching your career here, if you can call it a career, with loss after loss after loss, and you driving around in that stinking taxi cab, and thinking you are making it. We are The Indian Assassins!

Rajiv : You do not understand, i told you already, it’s called paying your dues.

Mohammed : Forget these dues, how much are they and who do i make the chq out too?

Rajiv : Tonight, we are making it out to the O-Z’s! Them dancing fools, they have lost more matches than we have, and ....

Mohammed : Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let me stop you right there with the WE. I have not lost any of these matches.

Rajiv : Tonight my cousin is the beginning of our winning streak. First the OZs, then them KGB vultures Team Fairtex and their Tag Team Championships!

Mohammed : Now you are talking my cousin. Tonight, we do an Indian tap Dance on their heads, and we show the world, and SWAT that INDIANS DO IT BETTER!

Fade

[SWAT Team]

Nimbooda Nimbooda hits and Rajiv drives down to the ring in his taxi cab. He gets out and stands on the roof and poses for the fans then runs down the bonnet and somersaults over the ropes into the ring. Then there is a loud bellow, and an elephant comes down the rampway, Rajiv’s Princely cousin mounted on the elephant. The beast strides down the ramp and Mohammad runs down his outstretched trunk over the cab and rolls into the ring.

Jeremy Tucker: Welcome back fans! For those of you just joining us, Frank Salazar DEFINITELY gave introductions to this match.

Andrew Fulton: If they are going to give the Indian Assassins an elephant, then having Frank tell you that they are about to fight The O-Z in a tag match is literally the least we can do. The O-Z also in the ring, but they actually had an entrance this time. You were watching that last promo instead, but it shows what a nice guy Pesci is, giving them music after beating the snot out of them last week.

Jeremy Tucker: This is a rematch from War Crimes. Before the O-Z and Assassins could reach a conclusion, they were clobbered by the KGB. Rather than pick fights with the people who hurt them, they decided to take their aggressions out on each other instead. You could say this is a grudge match.

DING!!! DING!!!!! DING!!!!!!!!!!!

Jeremy Tucker: And there off - all four men still in the ring, talking trash while deciding who is going to start. We're going with Mohammad and Brein, as referee Kip Katt tries to get the two illegal men back to their own corners. Mohammad and Brein going to the canvas, jockeying over a headlock. Impressive speed and counter attacks from the two men.

Andrew Fulton: Wait, what are they doing?

Jeremy Tucker: Brein and Mohammad are putting on a TECHNICAL CLINIC! The crowd getting behind this incredible display of technical ability! Either man could give Timeless' technician strap a run for its money.

Andrew Fulton: Not them, THEM!

Jeremy Tucker: Rajiv Khan and TJ Zousa still standing in the ring, not going to their corners but staring each other down. TJ Zousa with a head bob as he starts to go to his corner, only to spin around. Khan shaking his hands in a rhythmic fashion while stomping his feet... are they doing what I think they're doing?







! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !








Andrew Fulton: DANCE OFF!!!









! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Jeremy Tucker: Zousa answering by pivoting his hips. Khan fires back a knee twist. Damn. I got chills.

Andrew Fulton: Rajiv is out of his mind going toe to toe with our resident beat boxer.

Jeremy Tucker: Don't sell Khan short... he spends all day driving around listening to music when his cab radio works, that has to mean something!










! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !





Andrew Fulton: TJ Zousa ripping off his wrestling gear to reveal a sequin jump suit - HE'S HERE TO DANCE!!!


Jeremy Tucker: That did it. Khan is losing confidence, he's against the ropes...






! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Andrew Fulton: HE'S NOT OUT OF THIS YET! BACKUP DANCERS!!! RAJIV KHAN HAS A HALF DOZEN MEN IN THE RING DOING WHAT HE DOES, A FEW FEET BEHIND HIM BUT IN SEQUENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Jeremy Tucker: It should be noted that Mohammad and Brein are still putting on the purist display of technical skill in all my years announcing SWAT. There have already been a good ten near falls that we have completely ignored. God... I hope none of the backup dancers step on them as they roll around the canvas trading waist locks.


Andrew Fulton: How long have they been preparing these elaborately choreographed moves?


Jeremy Tucker: RAJIV KHAN HAS BEEN LOOKING TO BUST THIS SPECTACLE OUT SINCE HE FIRST ARRIVED IN SWAT, YOU DON'T LEARN CLAPPING IN UNISON OVERNIGHT, THIS IS THE LONG CON!!!!


Andrew Fulton: I know that O. Thomas and the newer Khan are wrestling a once in a lifetime match, that the wrestling observer will give SIX STARS TOO but... but... I just can't look away from Khan! He's mesmerizing. TJ starting to swoon...


Jeremy Tucker: THIS IS IT! TJ Zouza is blacking out from the dizzying display of unified head bobbing on the opposite side of the ring.




Andrew Fulton: WAIT! WHAT ARE ALL THESE OLD PEOPLE DOING IN THE RING!?


Jeremy Tucker: TJ Zousa's retirement home friends are rallying to his aid... slowly. A few are having trouble getting their walkers through the ropes... but FIFTH times a charm. Not as good as the Indian flash mob on the other side of the ring at avoiding the wrestling match going on in the background. Those senior citizens are stepping all over Mohammad and Brein, but smell of hard candy won't distract those two from putting on the GREATEST MATCH IN THE HISTORY OF SWAT! If Syberus is 110% then those two are working at 1000!!! ...but enough stalling, the old people are almost in sync!

Andrew Fulton: Forget about Lynn Brewster's penis, TJ Zouza is taking the COMEBACK OF THE YEAR!

Jeremy Tucker: The sheer number of attempts at the Charleston is blinding! Khan removing another shirt button for that John Travolta look to come back strong, and now both going FULL Saturday Night Fever on us! I feel bad completely ignoring the wrestling match, but this is too captivating!

Andrew Fulton: Well let's toss them a bone. BOT reversing an armbar into a wristlock suplex!!! He's got this...








! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

While trying to do the lawnmower, TJ Zouza pulls his arm back, and accidentally backfists Brein O. Thomas into oblivion. Mohammad pounces on for the cover. TJ Zousa is a foot away to break it up, but he needs that foot for his mad dance moves.

Jeremy Tucker: Communication problem! TJ Zouza clocked his partner, and Mohammad capitalizing with the pin...





















ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!























TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

























THREE???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????




Ding! DING!!! DING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


The dancing stops just as TJ Zouza finishes a mad breakdance routine.


Jeremy Tucker: It looks like Zouza may have won the dance off but lost the war...


Frank Salazar: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN... having reached its 30 minute time limit, the referee has declared this match a DRAW!


*JEERS*


Andrew Fulton: Mohammad almost got the pin, one more second and they would have won this!

Jeremy Tucker: Only because TJ hit his own partner! No. For the second week in a row, we have failed to settle this fierce tag team rivalry. There is still a lot of bad blood between these two, and SWAT FANS demand a third encounter - a RUBBER MATCH... for the first win!

All 100 people in the ring stare at each other. Rajiv Khan is bleeding profusely. You can't have a dance off without someone getting cut. As passions reignite, the two crews starts dancing again. Brein O. Thomas looks like he wants to kill someone. As security comes out to clear the scene, or leave them to work up the live audience, the camera cuts away.

[maniaxsimms]

*As the commentators are running down the card for the show, static appears to interrupt and then its an image of a little schoolgirl in a dark grim room.*
Schoolgirl: He's coming, he's coming, he's coming.
*She keeps repeating until static and then a video of kids doing ring around Rosie and static kicks in again to the girl.*
Schoolgirl: He's here, he's here.
*Static pops up again to reveal Alex Valander sitting in the dark room.*
Alex: Guess who's here? *Static pops up for the final with laughing in the background followed by a jumpscare.*

[Jonnie Valentine]

[Open on the North Carolina State Fair. "Notoriously Hard To Work With" Jonnie Valentine, Kilroy Evans, and The Guy That Caught A 200 Pound Catfish But It Got Away Before He Could Take A Picture are judging the pig competition. Captain Jack addresses the hundreds looking on in the audience]


Captain Jack: Hello everyone WCNZ from The Captain Jack and The Dong Show! Are...


Kilroy Evans: (screaming) HI CAPTAIN!!


[Audience gets quiet]


Kilroy Evans: It's me. Kilroy. 


Captain Jack: Yeah, hi. (back to the crowd)  Are you ready to see some pigs? 


Crowd: Yeah! 


Captain Jack: I can't hear you! 


Crowd: YEAH!! 


Captain Jack: (feigns ear pain) Ow! Alright, we got three great judges that are going to pick out the best pig in the whole county!


[Monster pop nearly blows off the roof of the tent]


"Notoriously Hard To Work With" Jonnie Valentine: (to Kilroy) Wow, I never got a pop like that, and Tempered Steel threw me into barbed wire in front of these people. 


Captain Jack: Ok, first we have The Guy That Caught A 200 Pound Catfish But It Got Away Before He Could Take A Picture!


[Crowd gives him a warm ovation]


Captain Jack: How ya holding up, guy?


The Guy That Caught A 200 Pound Catfish But It Got Away Before He Could Take A Picture: As best as can be expected. Thing was huge, Jack! Blotted out the sun! 


[Everyone in the audience solemnly nods. A little girl wipes away a tear]


Captain Jack: I know buddy, I know. But you know what you did catch? The support of an entire community.


[The audience gives the poor guy a hand. He thankfully waves at them as he tries to hold back the tears. Kilroy pats his shoulder]


Captain Jack: Next we have, South Carolina's Favorite Son, and appearing in a match against Mad Dog Soutter this Saturday at the Spectrum Arena...KILROY EVANS!! 


[Biggest pop of the day as Kilroy waves meekly. Jonnie is taken back by the ovation]


Captain Jack: And finally, he is Notoriously Hard To Work With and also has a stretcher match against Timeless Alex Turner...Jonnie Valentine. 


[Polite but tepid applause for Jonnie. He's expecting more and walks forward to bask in it. Noticing the slight reaction, he just turns and sits back on his stool]


Jonnie Valentine: What? I mean...we don't even know if that guy really caught that fish. 


[Gasps in the audience. Kilroy tries to quiet Jonnie, and waves it off for the crowd]


Captain Jack: Ok, let's get to it. Guy That Caught A 200 Pound Catfish But It Got Away Before He Could Take A Picture. Who...is the best pig in the county?


[Local high school marching band plays a drum roll. The guy mulls it over and he walks over to each pig, judging their every nook and cranny]


The Guy That Caught A 200 Pound Catfish But It Got Away Before He Could Take A Picture: Number one.


[Crowd erupts in applause]


Captain Jack: Fine pick. Fine pick. Alright, next up in Jonnie Valentine.


Jonnie Valentine: (to Kilroy) This is stupid. What do I know about judging pigs? 


Kilroy Evans:  You can do this. There's nothing to it. 



[Local high school marching band plays a drum roll]



Jonnie Valentine: Ok, I don't know, number 3?


[The audience gasps with horror]


Kilroy Evans: ARE YOU A BLIND PERSON?? Do you see the narrow, shallow chest floor?! I mean, the front legs are stiff as a board, man! 


Jonnie Valentine: Ok, ok...uh, number 12?


[The crowd turns on Jonnie. Begins booing]


Kilroy Evans: (to the audience) He's kidding folks! (under his breath at Jonnie) You are embarrassing me! It's head is too refined. 


Jonnie Valentine: I don't know, isn't there a spider web around to help me out here?


Captain Jack: Kilroy? 


Kilroy Evans: I'm not a crazy person, Jack. It's Number Four. 


[Crowd roars with applause, and the 4H Club runs over to give Pig Number Four the blue ribbon. The fans chant "KIL-ROY! KIL-ROY! KIL-ROY!"]


Captain Jack: Congratulations to the best pig in the county! Pig Number Four! 


[Jonnie gets pushed to the back by the throngs of crowd trying to touch Kilroy as he poses with the prize winning pig. The Charlotte Observer takes a big flash photo as the crowd chants "PIG NUMBER FOUR! PIG NUMBER FOUR! PIG NUMBER FOUR!" The video cuts to Jonnie and Kilroy seated at a long table with their hands tied behind their backs. A big banner hangs behind him that says '101st ANNUAL PIE EATING CONTEST']


Kilroy Evans: (sits up from eating his pie) What's wrong? Is it that you have no earthly clue about pigs?


Jonnie Valentine: (chewing thoughtfully) Maybe. No. It's something else.


Kilroy Evans: DONE! (they place a new pie in front of him) Like what?


Jonnie Valentine: The stretcher match has me a little concerned. I mean, I just got back into the business. And...I'm really good. I mean, REALLY good. I mean, it's insane. I'm like really, really...


Kilroy Evans: (hurrying him along) Good?


Jonnie Valentine: (surprised) Oh, thank you. It's just, I don't want to get injured and have to leave a sport I neglected for so long. DONE!


[Someone places a new pie in front of him]


Kilroy Evans: You kidding me? You're going to be the one putting that guy in the hospital. And, you'll be bringing the SWAT Hardcore Title back to where it belongs. With Hardkore Jonnie Valentine. 


Jonnie Valentine: Never heard of him. 


Captain Jack: TIME! Ladies and Gentleman, The Winner And STILL North Carolina Pie Eating Champion...KILROY EVANS!! 


Kilroy Evans: (grabs his trophy) Now let's get out of here, I'm starving.  

[Timeless]

Recap. For those new and not up to date with SWAT. In 2017 Rufus came to Timeless in a rp (Yes, Rufus from Bill and Teds) and he anointed Timeless on behalf of the Time Masters as new Master of Time and Space and delivered to him a special Time Travelling Delorian themed watch. Timeless has been on many adventures including trying to eliminate his arch nemesis Daniel Collins by going back in time and trying to kill Collins’ father Phoenix before Collins was conceived, an ill fated journey which resulted in Timeless losing his hand and fleeing in panic only to find Yoda and receive his Jedi / Terminator hand. Today, we go on another adventure.

[We open to a Nth Carolina motel room, it looks like any other normal motel room, and we can’t really tell that it is a Nth Carolina one, only that i just told you it is a Nth Carolina one. Timeless is standing facing a camera, the balcony behind him shows a fantastic back ground of the city at night, the lights are exquisite, but they pale into insignificance with Timeless standing in front of them. He is a specimen of the highest order, ripped and jacked, and his hair is perfect.]

Timeless : Notoriously Hard To Work With" Jonnie Valentine! Listen up and listen good!

This here ... this here federation ... it belongs to the Bandits! The KG Fuckin B! We built this house! We bled and we sacrificed for it to become the Juggernaut you now see. We will be damned if we are to sit by and watch a group of old timers waltz around like they own the place.

Old man voice ”Back in my day laddie ... FUCK YOUR DAY! It’s long gone and passed! This pathetic version of the New Society is a joke. Tux and Donovan won’t last till Helloween! Syb is the most over rated, mediocre, annoying selection to replace Cobryn i could have imagined. Kilroy is the only one you got with any balls, and when we get them out of your mouth, we are going to cut them off.

Roxylishus : (coming into shot with some Beefcake clippers) Choppy Choppy!

[She exaggeratedly opens and closes the shearers, snip snip the sound makes as she wisks them open and closed, she looks so damn hot you are wishing for a moment it was your balls going to be in there.]

Timeless : That six man TLC was an abomination. Goth, Donovan. It was five on three. We don’t cry though at the KGB. We are big boys. The BIGGEST! We can take it, and we can dish it out. We will see at Battleground if you and the Society can also Valentine!

See this?

[Timeless holds up his Hardcore Championship.]

This i have renamed the TECHNICAL Championship! And as such, it will NOT be on the line in any Stretcher gimmick match or any other brutality either.

Roxylishus : He is too beautiful to be in any garbage hardcore matches.

Timeless : So i think i will just arm drag you until you are knocked out. I can do that you know, go back through the archives, and check out my thrilling victories where i used only the arm drag, then only a hip toss, then only a scoop slam.

Roxylishus : Then when the ref was distracted by these (thrusts her giant heaving amazing breasts forward) BOOM! Jedi Punch for the three count!

Timeless : Those were the days .... (Timeless laughs) ... Ohh man, i sound like one of them Society old geezers, those were the days. (Shakes his head)

Roxylishus : Can we wrap this up, i wanna do something ... let’s go somewhere, ... let’s do something.

Timeless : I am SIR WINSALOT.

We are the KGB.

We like to Root and we make all the Loot!

We take out the Trash, and collect all the Cash!

We break your heart and tear you apart!

We make Stacks and break backs!

I’ll rupture your spleen and knock you out clean!

I am the Ultimate Male Supreme!

Every breathing Woman’s Wet Dream!

A God Damn Wrestling Machine!

Roxylishus : You sure are. (she coo’s)

Timeless : Right. Now, funny you should mention you wanna do something, because so do i. We are going to the hottest party in the world, Trump Plaza, New Years Eve, 1999!

Roxylishus : We are going to party like its 1999!

Timeless : With the President! Well, he isn’t President yet, then, but he will be. One more thing, it’s a fancy dress party.

Roxylishus :FANCY DRESS!?

Timeless : Yup, put this on and we’ll be on our way.

[Timeless throws Roxylishus an outfit, and we snap cut to him now wearing a James Bond outfit and she is dressed as a Star Wars alien. Have ya’ll seen that red tube, with the Star Wars parody? It’s hot, not Roxylishus HOT but almost.]

Roxylishus : This is gonna be wild!

[Roxylishus does an excited shiver, and your body explodes inside watching her, Timeless presses some buttons on his watch and a portal opens and he takes her hand and they both step thru .... and we see the party goers revelling, only, no one else is in fancy dress. Timeless and Roxylishus look to each other, a shared look of puzzlement. A count down begins.

Ten.

Nine.

Eight.

Seven.

Six.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One!!!

Fireworks go off everywhere, and we see signs, Welcome to 1996!]

Timeless : Damn it. I must have pressed the wrong button.

Roxylishus : Where are we? 1996? I’m the only one dressed up!

Timeless : Shit.

Roxylishus : You know what. I don’t care. I stand out where ever i go, and i want to dance!

[This is how we do it hits and Roxylishus saunters out onto the dance floor. She can move and is bouncing to the song, thrusting her hand in the air and waving them from here to there, then she starts twerking and hand springs up onto the stage, all the on lookers stop and stare for a moment and then presume she must be some entertainment, and they go back to their dancing, well, trying to but its hard with her bouncing around twerking on the stage, several men stand by hypnotised.

Trump : That right there could well be the next Miss Universe.

Timeless : Miss Galaxy 2019 Mr President.

Trump : (looking at the James Bond tux) President? Trump. Donald Trump

Timeless : Turner. Timeless Alex Turner.

Trump : It’s quite the site, she is ... captivating.

Timeless : And then some.

Trump : Well, Happy New Year Mr Turner, all the best to you in the ‘future’.

[Trump walks off and goes over to a throng of his ‘people’ and they are all staring at Roxylishus, Timeless has seen men stare at her, he is accustomed to it, but you never can be too careful, especially with this Trump cat, so he moves across to the back of the stage and is motioning for her to come back to him.

Off to the far right, we see Jay Kay, the lead singer of Jamiroquai. He appears to be spell bound and is just watching on, mesmerised.

The song finishes and Roxylishus notices Timeless calling her and exits thru a curtain. Jay Kay quickly runs along the side to see what is happening and where this fantastic creature has gone, he goes around a curtain and into a wall and then reaches up the wall, and looks over it, and he see’s a portal open up and Timeless and Roxylishus walk thru it.]

Jay Kay : She’s a Cosmic Girl. From another Galaxy.

[He stares into where the portal was, astonished, then repeats what he just said.]

Jay Kay : She’s a Cosmic Girl. From another galaxy. That’s a SONG!

[Unfadable.]

[Kilroy]

Narrator: Previously on "The SWAT & The Reckless"...

[The shot opens on Kilroy Evans, sitting on the edge of a hotel bed. He's wearing his usual jeans, sneakers, and custom t-shirt. This one has Gene Belcher in his burger outfit, holding his keyboard, and wearing---instead of a Sasquatch mask---a mask of Kilroy's face over the caption "THIS IS ME NOW!" For a second, Kilroy looks into the camera before immediately resting his head on his fist, smiling warmly into the camera's lens.]

Kilroy Evans: What did you do, Ray?

[Kilroy immediately burst into an uproarious fit of laughter. Genuine, heartfelt laughter. He clutches at his sides for a moment before resting head back on fist and looking to the camera again, his smile getting almost impossibly bigger. His teeth rest on each other, no sort of overbite at all as he bares them.]

Kilroy Evans: What did you do, Ray?!

[Kilroy breaks down laughing again, falling back onto the bed. He's wiping tears from his face as he sits back up, the smile on his face refusing to fade.]

Kilroy Evans: What's up, jerks?! You know, you can label this a grudge match all you want, "Mad Dog," but it's one sided as far as I see it. Personally, I'm having the time of my life! I'm wrestling again, I'm hangin' with great people, and Paul Soutter wants my head on a shrimp platter!

[Kilroy pauses a moment to sigh an catch his breath, barely biting back another laughing fit.]

Kilroy Evans: You know, I had a stray thought earlier today. It was after I had finished the WikiHow page for judging pigs. And then I lost it because there was a fair to explore. But, it came back to me around pie number three! And that thought was this: every problem you're having with us right now is all your fault. I mean, I certainly don't recall giving a flying toss about the KGB at all...until you inserted yourselves in the middle of things I was doing, that is. We weren't looking for this particular fight, but you very kindly dumped it in our laps.

[Kilroy gives a thumbs up to the camera.]

Kilroy Evans: Bravo. And now you want to get mad and pretend like you didn't jump at the chance to resign me. Alright, sure. I'll indulge you, man. You know, while I was gone, I came to realize that the thing I missed most about all of this was how I was able to give the fans what they wanted. And you know they want, Soutter. You taunt them about it time and again. They want catharsis. They want the kind of release you can only get when a guy like you gets force fed all the garbage you send their way every chance you get.

[Kilroy raises a hand and points at his smiling face.]

Kilroy Evans: A service that a guy like me and a group like I'm a part of are amazingly adept at providing. You know what I am, Paul. You know where I'll go. And you know there's no talking yourself out of what's going to happen. So I'd suggest having as much fun as you can. Because when the talking's done, a nightmare waits for you.

[Kilroy shrugs.]

Kilroy Evans: I mean, all you had to do was nothing. But you couldn't. You didn't have to demand a match over this. But you did. You could've done almost literally anything else other than what you did. But we all know how the Soutter do. Which means that the universe has called on me to do a favor on its behalf and administer the karma you keep begging for. *sighs* You just seem so determined to make the most aggressive worst move at any cost. But, as I beat you violently around the ring to the crowd's delight maybe, just maybe, you will understand that if you play stupid games...you win stupid prizes!

[Kilroy pauses an then laughs hard again.]

Kilroy Evans: But we know what's actually going to happen, don't we? Oh well, at least it'll be recorded for posterity and your memorial! Cue up the sad graphic and Sarah McLachlan, 'cause I'm gonna grudge you good. You've chosen the form of your destructor. Now you gotta deal with it.

[Another bright smile.]

Kilroy Evans: How'd that sound, Syb?

[Kilroy looks over to another bed and the camera moves to show Syberus sprawled across it, in a deep sleep.]

Syberus: *snores*...sucks to your ass-mar! *giggles*

[Syberus rolls over an the camera returns to an amused Kilroy.]

Kilroy Evans: Well, I guess you can run this one, then. Looks like Syb is 110% committed to his nap.

[The shot fades back to the show as Kilroy stares into the camera, waving politely.]

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker : We are back folks, and coming up now, we have two new members making their debut, Benjamin Bolt standing by in the ring, and Alex Valander.

[As a harmonica plays, Tom Sawyer kicks in, and Alex Valander walks with a grin on his face as he walks to the ring.]

Andrew Fulton : I like the look of this guy Jerry. He looks like aman who knows what hat is what.

Jeremy Tucker : Time will tell.

Andrew Fulton : Bolt is offering a hand shake, what a schmuck, and Alex just smirks and shakes his head then starts stretching on the ropes and referee Joe Davola calls for the bell, this one is under way.

Jeremy Tucker : Wow! The second the bell rang, Alex charged Bolt and damn near took his head off with a devastating Running Lariat!

Andrew Fulton : This could be over right NOW!

Jeremy Tucker : Alex poses for the fans and then flips them off, and they start booing him.

Andrew Fulton : Saito suplex by Alex.

Jeremy Tucker : Release German suplex by Alex. Bolt is in a world of hurt, and Alex is again posing for the fans, and mocking them, he mounts the 2nd turnbuckle dismissing Bolt, and Bolt comes up behind him and rips him to the mat by his trunks and rolls him up for a one count, Alex kicks out quickly, and irate, Alex nails him with a swinging neckbreaker.

Andrew Fulton : Alex now stomping away on Bolt, is he related to Usain Bolt? If he is, he should RUN!

Jeremy Tucker : I don’t think he could run if he wanted to. Alex delivers a Northern Lights Suplex!

Andrew Fulton : Alex with a diving Cannonball!

Jeremy Tucker : DEATHLAND EXPRESS!!! (Finlays Celtic Cross) Nailed it!

Andrew Fulton : This is ovAH!

Jeremy Tucker : Davola with the count ..........

One ................

Two ...................

THREE!!!!!

Andrew Fulton : Academic!

Jeremy Tucker : Very impressive debut by Alex Valander.

Andrew Fulton : Impressive, he creamed him Jerry, Bolt just got owned!

Jeremy Tucker : Is Bolt that bad or is Alex that good, that is the question folks, we will find out in due course.

[SWAT Team]

[Peel their caps back by Ice T hits as we switch back to the ring, there is a couch and a coffee table and the set of Suites Suite is in the ring. We see the Bandit Mobil heading to the ring, The Suit, Mad Dog Paul Soutter standing in the back of it with The Compton Colossal Bruno beside him, arms folded, muscles bulging and dark sunglasses on. The fans booing, some cheering and showing the KGB colors.].

[On the SWAT tron we see doctored footage of Tom Cruise jumping up and down on the couch imposed in the ring. Then more doctored footage showing Rick James/ Dave Shappelle on his back stamping his feet on the couch FUCK_ YO_ COUCH. Now a shot of Heidi giving Suit a lap dance on the couch on the SWAT tron.]

Soutter : Welcome to SUITS SUITE!!!

Last week, we had Mr Kilroy Evans appear as a guest on the Suite. Well, as we all saw, things got a little heated and out of hand ... and as a result, i will be beating him to a pulp later tonight in this here ring.

[Crowd erupt in a Kilroy Chant. They love the home town hero.]

Tonight, i am going to try this one more time. This time with another member of the Society . 110% Syberus. Lets hope it ends a little better than Kilroy last week, but before we get to the Mediocre One, let me just remind Kilroy and all you Carolina hicks of a few things.

I am the Big Bad Bustling Bandit!

The Centre of Attention!


I have the Skill to Thrill!

The Name to Entertain!

I’m loud and proud and well ENDOWED!

I am going to show Kilroy and Syb and everyone else how The Bandits do IT!

And i LIKE IT LIKE THAT!

[Crowd boo’s and "Two Notes Shy Of An Octave" by Red City Radio blares and the crowd cheers as The Great Syberus makes his way to the ring.]

Soutter : Mediocre One! Welcome to the Suite!

Syberus : It's 110% Syberus now. Your opening shot is misplaced.

Soutter : Ohhh. Gotcha. Duely noted. So, nice t-shirt. I got an idea for one that suits you, tell Ronnie, switch that to 110% JERK! It will sell like hot cakes.

Syberus : That's actually not a bad idea. [He produces a small notepad and writes it down].

Soutter : No! That wasn't supposed to be helpful.

Syberus : Too late. You know Elvis's manager used to sell "I hate Elvis" t-shirts on the side. Merch is King.

Soutter : So, how’s the comeback going for you man?

Syberus : I think you know the answer that.

Soutter : Well, from where I’m sitting it seems to still be in 2nd gear. I mean, Kilroy kicked your ass. Which, granted, there is no shame in, he is one of the best, no doubt and i eagerly await my upcoming battle with him, but then Radu also. Was that somewhat of a wake up call?

Syberus : You might say it was almost like I had no chance of winning those matches in the first place [Syberus winks at the camera.]

Soutter : Well, you are the one who asked for a title match, after just walking back in the front door. Do you really think you can just lob up and be thrust into World Title matches and everyone else who has been working their way up the ladder be leap frogged because the almighty Syberus has decided to grace us with his presence?

Syberus : But I was, Paul. I was put in the title match. I don't control the booking. I can ask for a title match all I want, I'm not going to get one unless management decides to give me one. Whether I think I deserve one is another matter.

Soutter : Wow, you must really think a lot of yourself.

Syberus : Well, I did until Tong Fairtex got a title match too. I guess we really don't give a shit about that belt huh.

Soutter : You sure are a petulant little bastard, aren’t you?

Syberus : YOU are.

Soutter : Yes, petulant. You think this is 110%? All you do is come across as a cry baby little kid who’s parents took his toys and told him he has to eat his vegetables, and now he runs around telling all his relatives how much he loves his vegetables, in an annoying sarcastic i don’t give a fuck if you really believe me voice i am saying what you want me to say and that is good enough damn it, and fuck you and they all think how did our family raise such a god damn turd.

Syberus : What?

Soutter : Ugh, look let’s change tact, you implied you are not happy with your match with Goth and should be higher up the card, even though you did want him previously. So, tell us, who would you like to be going up against?

Syberus : Look fat man, I mean Soutter, no- I was right sorry fat man, I'm here to give it 110%. Psychotic Goth and I might have very different paths but we're both high percenters. We give it our all, week in, week out. Doesn't matter who we're up against. Last week, I gave it my all with my Society team mates against the KGB and we came out on top. COINCIDENCE?? I think not.

Soutter : How does it feel when everyone keeps referring to you as Cobryn’s replacement?

Syberus : Literally no one has said that.

Soutter : Delusional. How do you feel this version, what is it again for the fans out there? V5? V6? of the Society ranks up against the previous versions of the Society?

Syberus : Soutter. I can honestly say I think that this iteration of the Society of the New Break may be the greatest ever.

Soutter : To me the Society was Kilroy Evans! (crowd erupts) Chupacabra! Jonnie Valentine! The Hellhounds! Cobryn!!! Do you believe you have surpassed him now that you are his replacement because as first choice for Jonnie he just couldn’t bring himself to wear them stupid bow ties?

Syberus : I surpassed Cobryn at my third Hardkore World title.

Soutter : You really think so?

Syberus : Yes. He has two, you see. I have four. Wait, four's still more than two, right?

Soutter : Would you say that if he were still here and standing in this ring with us?

Syberus : Why, of course I would, haha, [Looks around nervously]

Soutter : Why are you looking around. See how easy it is to get in your head, one line and you don’t know whether im screwing with you, or about to screw you.

Syberus : Sorry Paul, I'm a ladies' man.

Soutter : Well, this has been ... fun.

Syberus : Agree to disagree.

Soutter : I look forward to getting in the ring with you again, and not in this interview format.

Syberus : You are genuinely the worst thing to have ever happened to professional wrestling.

[The entire arena goes dark, and the erie and unmistakable opening organ chords of No Quarter begin to play throughout the stadium.]

Jeremy Tucker : What is going on?

Andrew Fulton : I can't see anything!

Syberus : Real cute Paul. These games don't phase 110% ...

[The lights suddenly come back on and the music stops and a 6'4, 245 pound God stands behind Syberus, dressed to the nines in a suit and wearing what looks to be the Hardkore World Championship belt.]

[Crowd erupts.]

[Cobryn grins, the crowd pops in a way you haven't heard since the last time Cobryn stood in a ring (not wearing a bow tie)... And Syberus turns to see exactly who is standing in front of him, Cobryn raises his right hand, which has a coconut in it, smiles the smile that only Cobryn can smile, and absolutely lambastes Syberus in the face with it.]

[Syberus hits the canvas hard and Cobryn stands over him, emptying a grocery bag of fruits on top of him.]

Cobryn : You want to be me?

News flash: Everyone wants to be me.

You're too far down the food chain to even dream about being me.

You're a pawn.

You're a side show.

You're a monkey, boy. (Another Coconut)

Cobryn : Sure, you can stand out here and you can pretend to be me for Jonnie like a good boy.

[Cobryn spits on Syberus]

Cobryn : You want a prize? You want a reward?

Here, have a banana. You want a banana monkey?

[Cobryn shoves a bushel of bananas into Syberus's face.]

Cobryn : One coconut! Two coconut! Three coconut!

[Crowd buzzes as Cobryn throws more coconuts into the face and body of Syberus.]

Cobryn : You want to be me boy?

[Cobryn rips the belt off his waist and smacks it against Syberus's back. It is the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship, but it's bedazzled with a diamond dollar sign where the middle plate used to be. It looks classy.]

Cobryn : You pay the price.

[Smack]

Cobryn : You pay me. You think you're a star?

[Smack]

Cobryn : And when you come out here.....

[Smack]

Cobryn : And you try to get it for nothing...

[Smack]

Cobryn : You try to replace the man, you water down the name. You devalue the entire purpose of what the Society of a New Breed was in the first place.

[Syberus begins getting his bearings and getting to his feet]

Cobryn : Come on... Get up!

[Smack]

Cobryn : You want to be big time? Everybody wants a piece of me... Get up!

[Syberus staggers to his feet and throws a wild punch, unable to see from the blood streaming down his head into his eyes. The crowd buzzes Cobryn sidesteps and mocks Syberus, and Syberus begins to clear his head and his eyes as Cobryn wipes his feet on the ring and slides out of the way of danger. Cobryn grins and begins walking backwards up the aisle as "No Quarter" begins to play again, and Cobryn disappears off screen as Syberus chases him up the ramp.]

[frostbite]

Earlier in the Day

It is a cloudy day as the skies are gray as if the skies are about to open up any minute and the rain is about to come pouring from above. We look down on the pavement we see water as if it might have been doing such earlier but it appears we might in store for some rain. The cameras zoom up we appear to be on a lot with a rather large tan building right smack in our face. We look once again back to the ground as we feel drops of water hitting our feet, and one quick look up as the skies are opening up, we rush toward this tan building as we slide open the huge garbage like door. We quickly step inside after we are already soaked to the bone. We can hear the rain coming down so hard on the roof, that it just might come thru.

What catches out eye, however from what we can see as we try to wipe the water out of them, we see a camera crew of at least six people and a white screen, and lots of lights surrounded that spot. We see a long brown haired gentleman with a brown goatee wearing a black tee shirt with black leather pants and black boots. He walks over and stands right in front of the screen as he looks it up and down and then steps back a few feet. He reaches over onto a small table and grabs a button and pushes on it. We see a few images pop up on the white screen. The first one is that of a blue and white sky, the next images pops up is the symbol of SWAT, another images that pops up is that of just snow, another images pops up is that of a beach somewhere. The young man nods his head.

Young man.. Okay we are ready.

A gentleman wearing a blue tank top with blue jeans and black boots steps out from behind the curtain with his short blonde hair prefect in any way there could be. The lights from the cameras certainly can capture is finely tone body and especially is six pack abs. We see that it none other than Frostbite. He looks back at the screen and then right at the young man.

Young man.. Okay Frostbite. I want you to flex for us.

Frostbite does a couple of poses as the young man pushes the button to a beach shot as the flashes from the cameras go off as Frostbite holds that position.

Young man.. Excellent.. Now can you throw a fist toward me.

Frostbite nods his head as he does so as the young man pulls up the blue and white sky shot as Frostbite throws rights and lefts toward the camera.

Young man... Great, one more shot. I need the famous intense look in your blue eyes.

Frostbite puts his head down as he slowly picks it back up there we see the intense look in his blue eyes that he has made famous for years as he holds it as the camera flashes as he holds it. The young man pushes the button as the SWAT sign flashes on the screen, after a few more second pass.

Young man.. That is enough, great stuff.

He walks over as he shakes Frostbite hand. Frostbite moves away from the screen and away from everybody has he leans up against a white door watching as it appears that the camera crew is getting up their equipment and calling it a day.

Frostbite.. Just finishing up this photo shoot for SWAT and from what I am seeing things are heating up in a big way. Tonight card is like a who's who in this business. The main events our SWAT World Champion, Radu Matei puts the title on the line against Tong Fairtex I might have to steal somebody ringside seat for that match. What about Kilroy Evans against Paul Soutter, my god, what a blood bath that could turn out to be. But if that is not enough to set your appetite. How about Jonnie Valentine against Timeless Alex Turner, damn what a great match. But that is not all, but to really blow the roof of the building. Syberus takes on Psychotic Goth, talk about more blood to be poured..

Jesus Christ, a Marty Donovan sighting.. Times are certainly changing around here, but there is one match on the card is getting overlooked and deserves top billing, myself going one on one with Suzi Spitz.

Frostbite listens to the rain beating even harder on the roof, as he closes his eyes and takes it in.

Frostbite.. Now Suzi, I know you just how good you are. There has not been a organization that you have not walked into and made a name for yourself in. I get that you have won countless of titles. You are shall we say famous. Since you arrived here in SWAT you have beaten everyone that has been thrown in your path and hell you are even a champion. Some might say that you either Bill Goldberg or Rhonda Rousey you are unbeatable, maybe unstoppable.

Frostbite opens his eyes and their is that intense look that he has made famous for almost 16 years.

Frostbite.. But as that old expression goes.. "All good things must come to an end." Tonight, that streak of yours comes to a halt. Suzi, I thrive on such a challenge to simply best the unbeatable. I have had the honor of getting into the ring with a lot of greats in this business men and women such as...

Kilroy Evans
Radu Matei
Fought Syberus in a battle royal
Phoenix
Paul Soutter and yes I can not stand the guy but can not deny his talent
Eric Herrea
David Brickheart
Michael Maddox
Fathi
Lynn Brewster
Ambrose Nocturne
Necra

And the list continues for quite sometime, Suzi you add to that list. Some I did beat and well some I did, lose to as well and in time, I hope to get back into the ring with and write a lot of wrongs. But Suzi, this is about you and I, getting into that ring and stealing the damn show. This is about proving to not only this company but to the entire world that we are two of the best around. I am sure we will have no problem putting a match for the ages.

Frostbite cracks a little smile.

Frostbite.. Somebody has told me on set that Syberus made a excellent point earlier. A match line this, and a win against someone like you can move me up the ladder and get another chance at the World title. Since KGB screwed me in my only attempt at the title. Sure I probably have pissed Paul and Joseph off too many times to ever receive a shot at the title again, but I will find my way back to the title and that starts later on with you Suzi. It has been a couple of years that I looked down at my waist and not had the pleasure of being called World Champion. There is not a day that does not go by and I can only hope that I get the chance to be called the top dog one more time. Suzi, I must beat people like yourself to help me achieve that goal.

Frostbite walks a few feet toward the door as he swings the door open and it appears the rain as stopped.

Frostbite.. Suzi, I say we go out there and show the damn world how to have a great match and let these other matches try and top us, but please do not think for one second that I am taking the loss on this night. Our match will be a rebirth of sorts, this match will be the beginning of the end for SWAT. I told the World when I return I am going to burn it to the ground. I am going to take the title and finally restore some order around here.

Once again that intense look in his blue eyes.

Frostbite.. Suzi, welcome into the cold hearted bastard world. It is time to get down to business.

Frostbite walks off, as the scene fades out.