Battleground #21 : Menu of Mayhem (Show)

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker :Our next match sees Tuxedo Mask v Trent Jones, and this should be a good contest between these two men.

Andrew Fulton : As the bell has rung we begin, Trent Jones leaning over the ropes letting the fans know he is the ‘shit’ Tux is on the top rope and Trent not even realizing and does a cross body off the top rope onto Trent.

Jeremy Tucker : Oh wow! Tux takes Trent to the corner turn buckles as Tux goes to the top got the head of Trent and delivers a Tornado DDT. And now Tux headed to middle ropes and does a middle rope leg drop. And man Tux is on a roll here in the beginning of the match.

Andrew Fulton : I’m impressed and that is very hard to do is impress me and Tux is been more on the ropes than the mat in my opinion. And look again as I was just saying that Tux is on the top rope he tries a top rope clothesline and Trent just head butts him in mid air. That is one way to stop a high flyer for sure.

Jeremy Tucker : Trent is now delivering elbow drops to the chest he nails 1 and a 2nd and 3rd elbow and Trent just lifts him and stands him on his feet as Trent bounces off the ropes and delivers a vicious clothesline.

Andrew Fulton : Tux is standing back up defying Trent and Trent delivers a RoundHouse Kick to the jaw dropping Tux in a heartbeat.

Jeremy Tucker : Trent goes for the cover and the pin.


REF COUNTS--


1


2


kick out.... Andrew Fulton : I am highly surprised that Tux kicked out after getting his head kicked off by Trent.


Jeremy Tucker : Yes but Tux won't give in unless you beat him into nothing. I mean he takes a beating and keeps coming back. Trent is frustrated with Tux kicking out. Tux still again slowly stands up as Trent goes for another Roundhouse that is ducked by Tux and Tux lands a Superkick from no where.

Andrew Fulton : Trent down on the mat, and Tux went down to one knee. This is amazing and Tux sends Trent bouncing off the ropes trying to bulldoze over Trent and as built as Trent is Tux goes flying to the outside of the ring. That was not the smartest thing by Tux.

Jeremy Tucker : Trent goes to the outside and Lifts up Tux and drops him on the hard part of the ring the apron chest first. Trent says he going to end this and takes Tux and wait its reversed and Tux sends Trent into the steel steps and rolls into the ring.

Andrew Fulton : I got to say Tux has some balls tonight here coming back after all Trent is doing and is not going down easily.

Jeremy Tucker : Tux awaits Trent to roll in and bounces off the ropes for Trent to nip up and land a big boot across the face of Tux. Damn another way to stop a man who’s flying around this ring. Tux is as quick as they come, but Trent doesn’t care about any of that, and just wants to punch someone on in the mouth..

Andrew Fulton : Trent grabs ahold of Tux and nails a belly to belly suplex. Trent takes up Tux sends him to the corner and Trent runs like a fright train into Tux dropping Tux to the ground.

Jeremy Tucker : Wait as Trent goes down to grab up Tux and Tux kicks Trent in the head bouncing off the ropes and delivers a flying spinning DDT. Something new I have not seen.

Andrew Fulton : Tux is going to the top rope and delivers a frog splash off the top rope and covers Trent for the win.



REF COUNTS>



1




2


kick out...


Jeremy Tucker : Another kickout and Trent is slowly getting up as Tux uses his speed bounces off the rope and delivers a standing drop kick to Trent. And Tux takes up Trent and lands a German Suplex and another German and a 3rd German, Damn Tux is on a roll.

Andrew Fulton : Tux lifts up Trent and BAM Holy Sh*** Trent just punched Tux into another century Holy Hell that was crazy. And now Trent signals his ender.

Jeremy Tucker : Wait Trent says something else will do. Takes Tux lifts him up in the air and BAM a Powerbomb. Wait he’s not done he lifts him up again.

Andrew Fulton : Damn a 2nd Powerbomb. Trent says not done and lifts him up and nails a 3rd Powerbomb with Authority..

Jeremy Tucker : Trent drags Tux to the middle of the ring and hooks a leg,

Andrew Fulton : Now Trent covers Tux for the pin.


REF COUNTS--


1




2




3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Jeremy Tucker : Its over Tux had all the speed but some moves and that Punch is what ended the quickness and surprise attacks from TUX


BELL RINGS Ding Ding Ding

Andrew Fulton : Trent was just all power but I give Tux much credit for what he did and surprised the fans tonight..


Frank Salazar : WINNER OF THIS MATCH BY PINFALL TRENT JONES!!!!

[edwarddubin0604]

(Team Fairtex is passing by the monitor and they just saw Doomsday's and Lucifer's promo shaking their heads as Warren W. Webber comes up to them.)

Warren W. Webber: "I guess you're watching your opponents promo."

Tong Fairtex: "State the obvious Triple W. So these two have been tag team champions before and were together for quite a while. Yet these two..What did they call themselves...."

Phantam Fairtex: "Friends."

Tong Fairtex: "Is that what they called themselves."

Warren W. Webber: "That's what I'm hearing."

Tong Fairtex: "Amazing isn't it. They also say they can't understand us which shows us and everyone that these two have no brains or they have only one shared brain with the village idiot."

Phantam Fairtex: "Hey before you ask that was a joke like they were saying about us."

Tong Fairtex: "Now let's address the point about you thinking we need The KGB to save our asses. Well Doomsday and Lucifer we don't need any help and we're going going out there and we're going to prove it by pinning your asses to the mat for the....One...Two...Three."

Phantam Fairtex: "Or there's option two which is making one of you tap out or submit."

tong Fairtex: "Option three isn't coming into play and that's what you mentioned. Though that option is probably what you plan on doing and that's getting The New Society of the New Breed to save your asses."

Phantam Fairtex: "That's a joke guys. You see Tong's been in this game for quite a while and I was in this game for half that time. Still that makes us just as much of a team as you guys. If you really were together for as long as you claim to be."

Tong Fairtex: "Don't worry Triple W. That was a joke."

Warren W. Webber: "Yet...."

Tong Fairtex: "Yet everyone knows it's not going to be a joke when we step into the ring to defend our titles. We're going to be serious and all business in the ring. Yeah it's not going to be easy but then again we don't like easy. When we won these titles it wasn't easy but we won these SWAT World Tag Team Championships."

Phantam Fairtex: "Then after tonight. Team Fairtex shall leave with these SWAT World Tag Team Championships. As my brother said it won't be easy but we don't like easy."

Tong Fairtex: "Now you said this company needs fresh faces which we agree with you on that point. Still we're fresh faces because unlike the other idiots like Mike Madden and his partner that he screwed over only to be screwed over himself."

Phantam Fairtex: "Then there's a couple of fresh faces who were real flash in the ans named CCS which we kicked their asses. Actually these two weren't fresh either but you probably wouldn't trash them as old faces."

Tong Fairtex: "Oh and The New Society of the New Breed isn't really a bunch of fresh faces either. Hell they're so old they need to continue wrestling just to earn their full social security benefits but knowing you guys. You would consider them new and fresh faces."

Phantam Fairtex: "There was another team that rivaled us Strike Force and before you even think about saying something stupid like you always do. There was a team that actually existed in in SWAT twice and disappeared twice and they were third generation wrestlers. Yeah we had a few classic wars too and we know them quite well."

Tong Fairtex: "You are no Strike Force. Now you say you can't understand us we'll make it in a language and in a speed you understsnd..."

Warren W. Webber: "What language is that."

Phantam Fairtex: "Read..our...lips....Doomsday....and....Lucifer.......Tonight....we...step...into....the...ring....for....the....SWAT....
World....Tag....Team....Championships. We're.....going....to...be...all...business....in...the....ring."

Tong Fairtex: "We....plan....On....Beating....you....decisively.....One.....Two....Three....without...any....help....from....anyone. Does...that....make...you....understand....what....we're....telling....you....two."

Phantam Fairtex: "That's.....a.....joke."

Tong Fairtex: "Yet...in....A....Matter....of....moments.....It....won't.....be. Let's go bruh."

Phantam Fairtex: "One last thing Doomsday and Lucifer don't beat up any more helpless Santas or defenseless lockers since we all know you love to do that to show how tough you are. They may sue you and SWAT for assault."

Tong Fairtex: "That's a joke....Or is it."

Phantam Fairtex: "We'll see when the time comes bruh. Let's go."

(They leave Warren W. Webber.)

Warren W. Webber: "I think the tension is thicker now gentlemen. Back to you."

(The scene slowly fades to black.)

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker : Welcome back fans, and coming up now, we have Marty Donovan battling it out with Blaze Freya.

[Shot of them both stretching in the ring.]

Andrew Fulton : Blaze looks amazing, as always, Marty is a goner.

Jeremy Tucker : The bell rings and we are underway, and Marty postures over Blaze, mocking her gender and stature, and WHAM! Blaze open hand slaps him right across the cheek!

Andrew Fulton : Marty is in shock, wake up pal, she is a killer, if you could escape from your Disney fixation for more than two minutes to focus on the wrestling, you’d know who you were up against.

Jeremy Tucker : Blaze with a boot to the gut of Marty, and then a DDT!

Andrew Fulton : Finish him Blaze! She goes for a cover but Marty kicks out at 1.

Jeremy Tucker : Marty gets to his feet, he is steamed, and he grabs a handful of Blaze’s hair and then just hurls her over the top rope. Marty then runs to the other ropes and bounces off them and charges and flies thru the ropes and connects with a plancha.

Andrew Fulton : Get up Blaze!

Jeremy Tucker : Marty stomps angrily on Blaze. He rams her head into the steel steps and then slides her back in the ring.

Andrew Fulton : Marty gets into an argument with a fan, and fiens a backhand at them, the fan flinches and Marty mocks them then slides back in the ring ... LOW BLOW! Blaze with a big low blow on Donovan!

Jeremy Tucker : Marty is keeled over, holding his sack, he gets to a knee, and Blaze sticks her hand down her tights inside her panties and then pulls it out, and WHAM! Another slap to Marty!

Andrew Fulton : I can taste it from here.

Jeremy Tucker : O OH! Here comes the KGB! What are they doing coming down here?

[Peel Their Caps Back hits and the ENTIRE KGB heads down thru the curtains. The Founder Paul Soutter. Bruno. Joanne Canelli. Tong and Phantam Fairtex. Timeless and Roxylishus. The Hired Killers Jade and Kim. They head to the ring and start entering and Blaze charges towards them and stands in front of the lot of them, yelling this is her match, and get o ....

Andrew Fulton : Jade Kim and Joanne just jump at her and all three triple team her to the mat and stomp on her. Jade and Kim then pull her to her feet and she is struggling, WHAM! Joanne just clocked her with the Amazons belt and Blaze is busted open and out! What is this about?

[Ding ding Ding.]

Jeremy Tucker : Ref calling for the bell and moves over and raises the limp hand of Blaze in victory, Marty has been DQ’d!

Andrew Fulton : Marty back on his feet and he is surrounded by the KGB. He moves over to Suit and is explaining to him that he doesn’t care about the Society and is using them and he loves the KGB, Suit is nodding, agreeing and he puts his arm around the shoulder of Marty and nods his agreeance saying its ok.

[WHAM]

Jeremy Tucker : Short arm clothesline from Soutter to Marty. The KGB then like a pack of wild wolves stomp away on Marty, and more stomping on Blaze, the ref tries to get in their way and stop them, and Team Fairtex wrap a hand around his throat each, lift him up and chokeslam him over the top rope to the outside and he lays their crumbled like he fell from a high rise building.

Andrew Fulton : Get out the chalk outline!

[Soutter picks up Marty and heads towards the corner, Timeless slides a table in the ring and The Hired Killers set it up.]

Jeremy Tucker : SOUTTER SPECIAL FROM THE TOP ROPE TO DONOVAN THRU THE TABLE!!!! This is a massacre. Soutter now calling for a mic.

Soutter : Look at this! Take a good look at this thrash in the ring before you. These two here, you know, they have all the talent in the world, but talent can only take you so far.

To prosper in this business. You need commitment! You need determination, you need to want it! You can’t come and go and flake one week and rock up next week like you are the king or queen and everyone will kiss your ass and then disappear for another two shows and then grace the world with your presence again and then repeat repeat repeat!

You need CONSISTENCY!

Some worm in the back is hearing this and thinking it’s all about percents. He will never get it!

Another is rolling their eyes thinking it’s about trying and not the quality. You tell yourself that, you tell yourself it’s not your quality that could possibly result in where you sit in the pecking order. CONSISTENT QUALITY! That’s what gets you to the top!

Look at the top.

Radu Matei! I took that hump to the limit at Helloween, TEN Souttersplashes into the steel rope corner. TEN! Turkey still managed to come out with the win.

[Suit favors his balls. They took a lot of damage in that epic main event.]

I have spent half of the last week getting these poor babies iced by a team of young nurses. You see guys, it’s all about SACRIFICE!

Suzi Spitz! What a Superstar. First ever Womens Champion!

Valentine and Syberus! They may make my skin crawl and my blood boil, but talent is talent, and superstars are superstars!

Then you got Frostbite! He and I may hate each others guts, but you watch and you see, he comes back at us, show after show after show!

Lucky Linda and Goth! They are up there for one reason and one reason only. Consistent effort. Quality consistent effort. Sure not Bandit quality. (Soutter smirks to the camera) but quality none the less.

Look in this ring, we are the cream of the crop. The KG Fn B! Each member of this family hand picked by myself. Hand picked for loyalty. For their outstanding performance. For being the Stand Outs of SWAT! We are the greatest assemblage of talent ever pooled together in the history of the sport.

Want to reach our levels, and the others i just mentioned levels. Don’t cry about your spot. Don’t run off to your chat rooms for pats on the back by walk behinders who try less than you do. PUT IN! Week after week after week, and demand your rightful spot on the roster. The spot your talent deserves. It’s that simple. PUT IT IN A PROMO!

Tonight. I am meeting in the ring, one Jonnie Valentine. One on one in a dog collar match.

I defeated you at Helloween Valentine, in your own god damn match. Now, you want to take on the Mad dog in a Dog Collar match? You must be out of your god damn mind!

Timeless : (being passed the mic from Suit) Right on Suit. Except for one thing maybe. Goth.

(Roxylishus wretches)

This clown wants to put a curse on us? The KGB? On ME!? Sir Winsalot!

Big mistake Jack!

You just don’t know when you are bettered do you pal. Look at this! Look at this belt!

(Timeless holds up the Technical Title)

I won this from you! Took your trash hardcore belt and have made it a title to be proud of. To be sought after by the wrestling world. How did i do it? How did i capture your belt?

(Timeless thinks a moment then moves towards Team Fairtex and pats them on the shoulders)

That’s right. Because of these two legends here. Your own brethren stabbed you in the back and came to the light! Came to the Bandits! They know what’s what, and after tonight, when the hottest of the hot, Miss Roxylishus and myself, The Timeless One, defeat you and your freak mole in mixed tag action, you will know what’s what too!

I am SIR WINSALOT.

We are the KGB.

We like to Root and we make all the Loot!

We take out the Trash, and collect all the Cash!

We break your heart and tear you apart!

We make Stacks and break backs!

I’ll rupture your spleen and knock you out clean!

I am the Ultimate Male Supreme!

Every breathing Woman’s Wet Dream!

A God Damn Wrestling Machine!

Roxylishus : (being handed the mic by Timeless. She moves over to an unconscious Blaze Freya and stands over her head. She gyrates her hips sexily, and then reaches up under her dress and slides her panties off, and swings them over her head, a leg each over the face of Freya, then tosses them into the crowd, a near riot erupts trying to capture them and mid 50s man grabs them, holds them to his face like a handkerchief and inhales, then grins like its xmas and fist pumps the air in delight,

WHAM! Roxylishus then drops with the splits right onto the face of Freya.

SPLIT SPLASH!!!! )

Once upon a time there was a blacksmith. He would toil in his basement preparing trinkets and weapons for his matches. He would babble in incoherent dialects and no one gave a flying fuck what he had to say!

He had a wife who thought she was tough as shit and was some sort of vampire. They would call me the most vulgar bullying names in history, and would parade around SWAT defaming me, their lives filled with jealousy and hatred and if i am reading inbetween the lines correctly, inadequacy in the bedroom.

(She does the limp finger signal, the crowd laughing)

I get it. I’m not just a pretty face you know. (she unconsciously thrusts her huge breasts out, your eyes pop out of your skull and rush at the screen like it’s a cartoon) They want to curse us, but envy is the real curse, and it lives inside them, it boils in and rots them, seeping thru their cores and coming out in rages of gibberish and fits of anger and it’s really quite embarrassing.

Goth! Trampira! Listen up! You are not just getting in the ring with the greatest technical wrestler to lace a pair of boots, Sir Winsalot! You are getting in the ring with Roxylishus! I am a reality tv STAR! I am the most uploaded woman on the whole internet for 2019! And ... i will happily remind you, i am a very accomplished wrestler in my own right.

I hold a singles victory over one Industrial Man! That’s right! I beat him, back when he was at the top of his game. Me! Roxylishus! That split splash i just gave Blaze, it’s only a taste of what’s to come. (your insides groan and you can’t believe the want inside you at what is more than a taste)

Spoiler alert. We are the KGB. We are better than YOU! My man Timeless, he can beat the pair of you single handily and i am just in this match, to spice things up some. What spice, that is a spoiler you are not ready for, you never will be.

Timeless : (being passed the mic) You see Goth! You think you intend well, but good intentions just don’t cut it sometimes. You go represent us in some XHF interfed bullshit and think it makes you top shit, you think it puts you above the rest of us. Newsflash. The rest of SWAT, we don’t give a flying fuck about the XHF!

You think the SWAT that was run by Lynn Brewster was better than this SWAT. That SWAT, that was a rabble reduced to only 5 active wrestlers. That is what you liked about it, that you had all this gold! Look around man, this is the real SWAT! This is the Promise Land! The best of the best come back here because the Pesci era produces the best shows on the planet. Your era was a tiny sandbox, you can long for them days and think back on them as fondly as you like, but they are long gone, just like your belt.

Roxylishus : We want the FUNK!

[Lucky Linda]

”Fans, we are presently joined by Lucky Linda La Fey.” Says Warren W Webber, he is standing with Linda in front of an Amazons banner and she is wearing a wanna get lucky t-shirt. “Linda, tonight you step in the ring with the Great Syberus! This is quite the match up”

“Indeed it is Warren, to be sure to be sure.” Replies Linda warmly. “He is one of the true greats, but as i believe it now, he is no longer The Great, but the 110% Syberus.” Linda rolls her eyes.

“Oh, he is still great also. He is a former World Champion, a Hardkore World Champion, and he is ....”

“Yes yes Warren. We all know, he tells us every week. Hardkore this, Hardkore that, sounds like some Grand ole memories he has of his old home.” Linda shakes her head. “Well, 110% Syberus! This is MY HOME! This is SWAT! The Promise Land! Look around, this is THE GOD DAMN AMAZON ARENA!!! We built this house! Us, the Amazons! Now those really were glory days.”

“The Amazons was a fun run, but surely not in the same league as Hardkore World was Linda.”

“Says you Warren!” Linda is steamed. “You know Warren, i have the patience of a saint, and i pride myself on always giving someone the benefit of the doubt, but i got to say, the things i have seen of late here in SWAT, it frankly, makes my blood boil.”

Linda grits her teeth and stares into the lens. “You got the KGB and the Society, at war with each other, and the rest of the fed is getting eaten up as a consequence. Great warriors like Goth and Radu and Frostbite. They get screwed each and every week. Goth has had enough, he placed a curse on them all, and i for one can’t blame him. I have had enough and i will take a stand with Goth and the rest of SWAT! We won’t stand for this rubbish anymore.”

“Wow” states Webber “Them are some strong words.”

“That they are, and that is how far we have been pushed by these glory hounds. Goth, i have your back. Frostbite, same goes for you in your world title match tonight, one member from the KGB so much as sneezes towards the ring in that match, and i will be on them like white on rice”

“Look at me Webber.” Linda shows her scars from Helloween. “I and the rest of SWAT, we put our bodies on the line for this company each and every week. And do you want to know why we do it?”

“Why do you do it Linda?” asks Webber.

“We do it, because it is who we are. We are professional wrestlers. We get in the ring and we bleed and we sweat and we pay the price. Then to see a group of jackals like the KGB and what they have become and turned our show into, it’s a disgrace. They need to be stopped, they WILL be stopped.”

“And Syberus?” Asks Webber.

“Syberus is almost the same as them, he and Valentine and the rest of them dinosaurs waltz in here and shit on everything we in SWAT are, and in truth, it’s probably pushed Suit and the KGB to these new lows we see now, but that’s neither here or there, i don’t care how or why, i only know, it has to stop, it has to come to an end.”

Linda tries to compose herself “At Helloween, i finally got my revenge on Avery. She betrayed me and then thought the fans of SWAT would just forget that and cheer her for it, that she was confused and her jealousy and backstabbing of me didn’t matter to them, well, it did, and it mattered to me as well, so i held onto it and i pursued her, until my chance arrived, and when it did, i capitalised, and i bleed her like a stuck pig. A stuck cheating tramp pig after what we saw her last few promotionals.”

“Now, she and i are done. Now, i can move forward with my career, and the direction i want to go is i want to stand up for this great federation that i love. I want to be there for the Radu’s and Goths and Lynn Brewsters. For the Suzi Spits’ and yes, even the Avery McCullens. Now, now i go to battle with one of the most gifted men to ever enter a ring, and i do so gladly, i welcome the challenge, and i know that win lose or draw, i will give it my all. How many percent that equates to, he can calculate that.”

Linda is now rocking side to side, itching to get in the ring. “You got to ask yourself one thing though 110% Syberus, do you feel lucky? Well, do ya? PUNK?!

[King Syberus]

(The camera fades into 110% Syberus working some lat pull downs. He drops the plates ontop of the stack with a clank and turns to the camera.)

110% Syberus: Oh Lucky Linda, you're SO wrong.

(Syberus has been giving it 110% so he wipes the sweat away from his face with a towel. He then douses his face with water and dries his face again. Should have done that first really.)

110% Syberus: Have you heard me mention Hardkore World for a couple of months? No you haven't, so why are you saying I talk about it every week. That's a lie you just lied.

I won't have my good character besmirched, slandered, dragged through the mud for your own petty gain. Linda you said yourself at the start of your promo I don't refer to myself as the great Syberus anymore- but 110% Syberus, so why do you bleat about me mentioning Hardkore World all the time when dedication to SWAT was THE POINT OF THE WHOLE CHARACTER SWITCH YOU JUST ACKNOWLEDGED.

(Sirens and flashing red lights activate from somewhere, it's the 4th wall alarm which deactivates after a few seconds)

110% Syberus: Sorry about that, although it was your fault really.

You WANT me to talk about Hardkore World. You NEED me to talk about Hardkore World. You really, really want me to name drop all the legends I've beaten in the past and reel off my accolades from a comically long scroll of parchment that rolls out of my hands and out of view.

(Someone goes to hand him such a scroll, he hastily gives the "cut" motion across his neck.)

110% Syberus: Let me tell you the important names to 110% Syberus right now. "Timeless" Alex Turner. Radu Matei. Paul Soutter. Let me tell you the important accolades to 110% Syberus right now. The SWAT Pan-Am title. The SWAT Hardcore title. The SWAT WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP. 

Don't you see Linda?

YOU'RE the one reeling off the tired old tropes. The worn out lines. "THE GREAT SYBERUS JUST WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT HARDKORE WORLD". Yawn. Trying coming up with something original, Linda. Preferably something halfway accurate that Paul Soutter didn't write for you in the delusional world he exists in where it's still 2005.

(Syberus starts curling, it's back and biceps day.)

110% Syberus: Linda... the Society of the New Breed is here to help you... this is what you don't understand... we're here to give SWAT a dose of QUALITY... a shot in the arm that it sorely needs...

(He sets the bar down and picks up a whole black forest gateaux and a fork and just starts going to town. 110% Syberus gives it 110% in all things.)

110% Syberus: Because you've been told that the KGB is the benchmark for a dominate wrestling stable and an example to follow of wrestling excellence. That's a sad and, quite frankly frightening state of affairs.

Linda, you're about to step into the ring with one of the best that's ever graced the sport. What you fail to realise is the backdrop that surrounds us - the KGB, the Society, the SWAT World Heavyweight title, all those external forces that might exert some sense of meaning on this match fade out of view as soon as I step through those ropes. When the bell rings, Linda, we could be in Hardkore World, or we could be in SWAT, or we could be back in the old UWA. It doesn't really matter where we are, because 110% Syberus is in his most natural habitat, and is turning your skeleton into a Picasso. That's what I do. That's what I've done for many years and what I will continue to do until the day I hang up those boots for good.

You've tripped and fallen into my path Linda, that's not your fault, but I can't allow you to derail my pursuit of the World Heavyweight title.

Now DIE.

...

Sorry that was a bit harsh. Sometimes the percents take a minute to dial down.

Just go away.

(Fade.)

[King Syberus]

###The following was filmed in secret at a local medical facility.###

(We open on 110% Syberus laid inside an MRI machine. We pan to the side to see "Just Like Mama Used To Make" Jonnie Valentine and world renowned neuro surgeon Dr. Leopald Shwartz looking through the glass.)

(Jonnie leans forward to talk through the microphone.)

Jonnie Valentine: You're doing real good, Syb. Real good.

(Syberus can be seen to grip tightly to a bow tie he's holding for security.)

Syberus: Are... are we nearly done?

Dr. Leopald Shwartz: Ze results are nearly in, herr Syberus.

Jonnie Valentine: I can see them coming up now buddy.

(We wait a few moments as light from the monitor illuminates Dr. Shwartz's face. His expression changes from a mix of confusion to concern. He looks at Jonnie, who looks at him expectantly, and shakes his head.)

Syberus: So how're we looking.

Jonnie Valentine: Uhhh yeah, all good buddy. Absolutely no brain abnormalities to report from this brain scan of your perfectly normal brain whatsoever.

Syberus: You sure? The way you worded that made it sound like the exact opposite.

(Jonnie holds his hand over the microphone.)

Jonnie Valentine: Shred the evidence.

Dr. Shwartz: But I did not print anyseeng.

Jonnie Valentine: I SAID SHRED IT!!

Syberus: Jonnie?

(Fade.)

[suzispitz]

'Twas the show before Christmas, and the arena was packed



Even the cheap seats, wayyy in the back,

By thousands of fans who let out a great roar

As soon as they saw the washed up pornstar whore

Who blew kisses to them from right where she stood

Sporting her pretty gold belt, and damn, she looked good.

Some of us cheered, and some of us boo'd

But she didn't care, 'cause she loves us all so, yes... Even you.

The pyro was blinding, and the music was loud,

As she held up her title, and pointed out to the crowd...

There's only one champion!, she shouted with glee,

Then she laughed as she continued, And this belt says it's me!

The fans were too noisy to actually hear her words,

But I can assure you, every silent syllable was heard

By all those who love her, and the many who don't

And those in between, whom either will, or they won't.

Then, with no more bullsh*t, no, there'll be none tonight,

She starts down the ramp, on her way to a fight.

And say what you will, whether you like it, or not,

She'll whip your ass right here on the spot.

She approaches the ring in her own casual time...

The ring?.. THE RING?!? Uh-uh, baby, that ring is MINE!

Every eye was upon her, as she stepped through the ropes,

And you could feel Frostbites fans suddenly losing all hope.

She was handed a mic, through which she exclaimed…

Frostbite, your life will NEVER be the same!

I'm gonna maim you, and hurt you, and break you, and beat you!

I'm gonna bite you, and claw you and do anything ta cheat you!

Not 'cause you're a bitch, or I hate your stinkin' guts,

Nothin' like that, I'm just freakin' nuts.

It ain't nothin' personal, it's just what I do.

Last time it was Timeless. This time, it's you.

Oh, sure, you're a badass, heh… I have no doubt.

But three seconds, or one Bitchmaker, pal, and you're out.

Ya see, Frostie, ya mighta been able ta beat me once before,

But there's no way in hell I'm lettin' ya beat me anymore.

'Cause I'm makin' a list, naughty, or nice…

Turner, Sinstar, HA-HAAA! WHOOO! BLAZE FREYA TWICE!

OH, HELLZ YEAH, BABY, I'M AN UNSTOPPABLE FIRE!

And all I want for Christmas is one burnin' desire.

Ya done shot off your mouth, 'cause ya think you're too awesome ta lose,

And it seems ta me, that ya must've been hittin' the booze,

Cause I LOVE ta bleed, like ta sweat, and I'll gladly pay the price,

So, ya see, Frostie, it turns out that you're the one who should heed my advice.

Don't walk your ass out here, with your head big, and swelled,

Thinkin' you're better than this Little Piece of Heaven, that's Hotter than Hell.

Don't listen to my haters. Just ignore them. Run away.

I'm the best in the business, and here's what my championship title has ta say...

She picks up her belt... here, this it it…

She points to the nameplate which says "Suzi Spitz".

Her fans erupted in cheers, and chants,

Her haters burst into a round of jeers, and rants,

As she exits her ring, after blowing them a kiss.

And what she does next, you won't want to miss!

So don't change that channel, there's still more to come…

And Frostbite, if I were you, I would run.

To be continued…

~ ❤ ~

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker: Let's go to the ring for tonights next match which promises to be a classic.

Frank Salazar.. This match is one fall with a 30 minute time limit.

Cranberries Linger blast over the sound system.

Frank Salazar: Weighing in at 130 pounds from Dublin, Ireland here is Lucky Linda La Fey

Andrew Fulton: This young lady had an very impressive showing at Helloween show only to come up short.

Jeremy Tucker: She did raise a few eyebrows. She had a nice encounter with Frostbite as both put on a good show.

Andrew Fulton: I feel she was robbed.. I think she would have made a better partner for Hardkore Johnnie Valentine than the one that got pinned.

Lucky Linda is in the ring as she waits for Syberus.

Frank Salazar: And her opponent weighing in at 232 pounds from Manchester, England here is 110% Syberus.

Two Notes Shy of Octave by Red City Radio blast over the sound system as Syberus makes his way down to the ring.

Jeremy Tucker: Syberus is limping as he still has not recovery from that attack that Cobryn gave him not too long ago on Suits Suite.

Andrew Fulton: I guess you could say he might not be 110% after all. He might be at 10%.

Jeremy Tucker: I guess you liked what Cobryn did to him.

Andrew Fulton: He and the rest of the New Breed of Society better get with the program because KGB is the only show in town.

Syberus gets into the ring as he looks over at Lucky Linda.

Jeremy Tucker: I Can not believe Pesci has this man wrestling tonight and he knows that is not 110%.

Andrew Fulton: You do not get nights off in wrestling, and Syberus has been in this business long enough to know this.

Jeremy Tucker: Certainly gives Lucky Linda a huge advantage knowing that her opponent is not completely healthy.

Andrew Fulton: This could certainly be her night. Maybe she will get Lucky after all.

Jeremy Tucker: Certainly no pun there right?

The bell rings.....

Jeremy Tucker: The two circle each other but Lucky Linda makes the first move and dropkicks Syberus right in his left knee. She gets up and drops a knee right into Syberus thigh. She quickly flips him over right into a half crab.

Andrew Fulton: It appears that she has a game plan work on the legs of Syberus.

Jeremy Tucker: Syberus is able to get to the ropes. She grabs his right leg and dragon screw leg whip and he is back down on the mat. She drags Syberus over to the ropes as she puts his leg on the bottom rope and jumps up and comes down with her weight across Syberus’ knee.

Andrew Fulton: I like this style from Lucky Linda. Kick the man while he is down.

Jeremy Tucker: She gets to her feet and connects with a few swift kicks right into Syberus knee. She pulls Syberus to his feet as he places him into the corner with the tree of woe. She continues to lay in a few kicks to the hurt knee.

Andrew Fulton: She smells blood in the water.

Jeremy Tucker: She lays in a few more kicks until, the ref steps in as gets Syberus out of the ropes. Lucky Linda pulls Syberus to his feet as she hits a snap suplex but his right leg whips off the bottom rope.

Andrew Fulton: Lucky Linda drags Syberus over to the ring post and slams his knee right up against it. Syberus trying to get to his feet, but Lucky Linda clips his right knee.

Jeremy Tucker: She quickly slaps on a Texas Cloverleaf as you can see the pain of Syberus face. He is trying to bridge out of it, but Lucky Linda continues to clap down.

Andrew Fulton: Could Syberus tap out, he might not have much of a choice here. Live to fight another day.

Jeremy Tucker: Syberus is able to pull Lucky Linda to the ropes as she releases the hold. Syberus gets to his feet as Lucky Linda catches him as he is turning around for an exploder suplex. She goes in for the cover.

1
2

Andrew Fulton: Syberus kicks out. Lucky Linda goes in behind as she tries for a German suplex but gets caught by a back elbow from Syberus as he connects with a Russian leg sweep. But he is on the mat grabbing his leg.

Jeremy Tucker: The ref is asking him if he wants to continue, and Syberus is waving him off. I do not know how wise this really is.

Andrew Fulton: Syberus crawls over and connects with an elbow right on Lucky Linda’s jaw. He then connects with a headbutt. Syberus connects with a few knife edge chops.

Jeremy Tucker: He pulls Lucky Linda to her feet, as she tries to bounce off the ropes, but catches him with the side effect. She goes in for the cover.

1
2

Andrew Fulton: Syberus kicks out. She races in and lays in a few uppercuts as he knocks Syberus right back to the mat. She jumps to her feet as Syberus gets to his knees and lays in a few kicks to various parts of the body. She steps back as measures Syberus for a roundhouse kick but he gets to his feet and connects with a spinebuster, but he can not go for the cover.

Jeremy Tucker: The knee gave out on him after that move. Syberus is trying to crawl over to Lucky Linda, but as he does Linda kicks him right on his head. She gets to her feet and she grabs his right knee and just slams it right into the mat. She races over to the second rope as he jumps up and waits for Syberus to get to his feet. As he does so, Lucky Linda comes off and connects with a blockbuster as she goes back for the cover.

1
2

Andrew Fulton: Syberus kicks out. Lucky Linda grabs his right leg as she is going for a figure four, but Syberus pushes her off as she goes flying into the ring post. Syberus tries to get to his feet as Lucky Linda comes out of the corner he connects with a discus clothesline. He drops down as he goes for the cover.

1
2

Jeremy Tucker: She kicks out. Syberus pulls her up as he tries to pick her up for a back suplex, but Lucky Linda shifts her body weight and drops down across Syberus.

1
2

Andrew Fulton: Syberus kicks out. Lucky Linda gets to her feet as she once again measures Syberus as he tries to get his feet as she bounces off the ropes and connects with an axe kick right to the back of his head. Lucky Linda goes in and she grabs his right knee and quickly slaps on a figure four.

Jeremy Tucker: The young lady has stuck to her game plan for this match and thus far it is working.

Andrew Fulton: The ref is asking... But Syberus is shaking his head, he is trying to reach for the ropes. Syberus turns over the hold and claps down on a reversal, but Lucky Linda gets to the ropes. She breaks the hold. She gets to her feet as she grabs Syberus right leg as she drags him to the steel steps and slams his leg across the steps.

Jeremy Tucker: Syberus trying to get to his feet as Lucky Linda goes up to the top ropes as she comes off and connects with a flying body press. She hooks his leg.

1
2

Andrew Fulton: Syberus kicks out. Lucky Linda stalks Syberus as he gets to his feet, she tries to connect with superkick, but he ducks, as he picks her up and hits a back suplex. Syberus gets to his feet still limping. He goes in to pick up Lucky Linda, but she kicks him in right in his knee, as she connects with the x factor. She goes in for the cover.

1
2

Jeremy Tucker: Syberus kicks out. Lucky Linda stalks Syberus as she connects with the backstabber. She quickly races out of the ring and to the top ropes.

Andrew Fulton: She could he trying to hit the Lucky Dip. Syberus is still on his back and holding his right knee.

Jeremy Tucker: She is taking flight, but as she coming down, Syberus connects with a cutter out of nowhere.

Andrew Fulton: Did you see that, Syberus timed that perfectly. But he is holding his knee. PURE CONFIDENCE!!! Syb just nailed the Pure Confidence (Impaler DDT) He crawls over for the cover.

1
2
3

Frank Salazar: The winner of the match 110% Syberus..

Jeremy Tucker: What a win for Syberus, he came in injured and took a hell of a lot of punishment, but was able to escape with the win.

Andrew Fulton: Lucky Linda had a excellent game plan, but Syberus just got that one move in and was the difference maker.

[edwarddubin0604]

(The room is dark and there is laughter echoing in the room as Psychotic Goth continues to laugh with Vampira standing by his side.)

Vampira: "So Sluttylishus you just proven you are just a whore who loves prostituting herself after pulling that stunt with Blaze Freya. You just gave yourself a new name Tramplishish and I think after what happened to blaze Freya you proved you're a true whore."

(Psychotic Goth bellows in an ancient dialect.)

Psychotic Goth: "Oh Turner you forgot one thing and that is The KGB is already cursed along with The New Society of the New Breed. You see Turner you don't know what's coming to you in the ring. You think anyone's going to save you from 'The King of the Goths.' You think you can save yourselves from my armies of ravaging warriors."

(He laughs and yells in an ancient dialect.)

Psychotic Goth: "Roxylishus you talk big when your asshole 'Timeless' Alex Turner and The KGB are with you. Yet you are going to become my whore or more specifically my wife Vampira's. I know you're going to enjoy that won't you Sirloselot. Then when I pin your sorry ass I'm going to come for your....Or shall I say Hardcore Title. The one you forgot to defend or shall I say refuse to defend."

Vampira: "Who did you really defend your title against since you've been champion. You seemed to be vying for the SWAT World Heavyweight Title and showing off your overrated body that's overly insured just to impress your bitch with the oversized life preservers."

Psychotic Goth: "Yet there is only two individuals that are your charm and that's Team Fairtex. If they aren't with you to protect you from my curse. Yet coming out without them shall be your doom and I shall make sure that title shall be cleansed and my darkness shall continue to expand. The evil I preside over shall continue to flow through SWAT. You shall see your reign come to an end and you shall never realize it until it's too late."

Vampira: "That's right. Soon you shall see why you don't fool with the dark forces of hell. You shall realize that we're not going to show you no mercy or show no remorse for giving you both the beat down you deserve."

Psychotic Goth: "Time is winding down for your destruction 'Time's Up' and Bitchylishus. That's not bullying and trashing you. It's the truth and reality. You shall fall and darkness shall continue to rise. Thus we have spoken and thus it shall become reality."

(The scene slowly fades to black.)

[frostbite]

The clouds are rolling in as it appears are about to open up..

Jeremy Tucker: A great show thus far and still more action to come.

Andrew Fulton: Tag team title match, a dog collar match and a world title match still to come.

Jeremy Tucker: By the looks of that night sky it appears we are in for a storm. Certainly glad we are inside.

Andrew Fulton: Why are you afraid you might melt.

Jeremy Tucker: You would float.

Andrew Fulton: You better remember we rode to the arena together in my new car thanks to Paul. So you might have to walk back to the hotel if you keep this up.

A couple of raindrops begin to fall as more clouds roll in.

Jeremy Tucker: The weather has been crazy here. What is it 60 degrees here this evening.

Andrew Fulton: I have to agree this is certainly not winter like conditions. Where is the snow?

A car is pulling into the parking lot a blue Ford Fusion, as they try to find a parking space the rain starts to come down faster as whoever is driving this car suddenly finds a parking space as they pull it right next to Andrew Fulton new car.

Andrew Fulton: I hope whoever is driving did not scrap any paint because it appears this idiot parked a little too close to my new car.

The driver side door swings open as someone with a green jacket with a good over their head, they have on blue jeans and black boots. They reach into the back as they grab a blue duffle bag and they shut the door. The rain picks up, but whoever this person decides to stand there as if they are taking it all in as if it was a bright and sunny day. As they slowly remove their green hood, we see that it is Frostbite.

Crowd... YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

Andrew Fulton: I am so glad that you can grace us with his presence because after all the man has an important match later on.

Frostbite... Andrew, please shut the hell up. I have you on XM Satellite Radio. I am listening to the whole damn show.

He looks at Andrew new car.

Frostbite.. Nice car, by the way. Another one of Paul bitches. I wonder when I take over this place do you think that you will have a job.

Andrew Fulton: I....

Frostbite cuts him off.

Frostbite.... Shut up, it will never happen. Heard it all before from you. Tell me what does it feel like to be someone bitch.

Frostbite just continues to stand in the rain, as he looks at his jacket.

Frostbite.. I want to personally thank the cast over at the Green Arrow for giving me this nice jacket, actually the Arrow signed it himself.

He just continues to stand in the rain.

Frostbite.. I was listening to the radio I did hear what Suzi and to say earlier before our big match. Suzi, I am really glas that you are in the Christmas spirit because this is certainly that time of year where we got to any store and listen to about 1,000 different ways you can some Frosty the Snowman. People standing out in front of some store at three in the morning and trying to buy the New phone or whatever the case might just be. Suzi, you got the crowd pumped up I am glad that you did that because it means we must go out to the ring later on tonight and give these people what they paid there hard earn money for and that is a five star match. Maybe there is a little boy or girl that their parents made this night part of their Christmas gift. So I guess you just put the pressure on us.

He laughs..

Frostbite.. Suzi, I did hear some type of version of your story about the night before Christmas. Suzi, when you were a little girl did your parents always get you what you wanted. Probably not.. When we sat on Santa knee as we told the fat man wearing that stinky red suit what we really hope to get.. Did you always get what you wanted? Probably not. As we are both adults living in the real world, think about Suzi, do you think old Saint Nick is going to give you what you want this year for Christmas. I bet you went to the North Pole and ask the old man to allow to walk into 2020 still the champion. Santa probably looked you right in your eyes and he told you, that you just could not promise you that. You know why? Because that fat man wearing the red suit knows that he can not help you. He knows that on this night all good things must come to an end.

Frostbite slings his bag over his right shoulder..

Frostbite.. Suzi, I know everybody loves a feel good story. Who does not right? You go to the movies and you all know that the good guy will beat the bad guy at the end of it all. Good always beats evil. But Suzi even the villain wins a battle, we all know that. Three is evil all around us, and Suzi tonight you will be across that ring looking me in this intense blue eyes and you will understand what pure evil is all about. You tell old Frosty that I should run.. Maybe you need to take a longer look in that dressing room mirror and realize it is you, that should take your own advise and run.. Run as far away as you can. Suzi, a fat man wearing a red suit will not be able to help you tonight. These people will not save you. The man upstairs will not save you. It is quite okay to accept defeat because that is what will happen.

Frostbite makes is way toward the building, as the rain is coming down even harder.

Frostbite.. Suzi, it was a feel good moment. You beat a worthy champion. You might be on some type of retirement tour, but even luck runs its coarse at some point. Their are no Christmas miracles that is going to happen here. The ref will to raise my hand and crown me the New champion. And Paul worse nightmare it is about to come true. I will become the champion of his awful company and Santa will have given me what I truly wanted for Christmas.. That is to finally burn this bitch to the ground once and for all.

Frostbite gets toward the backstage door as he turns the knob..

Frostbite.. Suzi, you predict that it will be the bitchmaker that will put me down for the three count this evening.

Frostbite let's out a loud sadistic laugh.

Frostbite.. Well, bitch you are about to meet your maker later on in that ring.

He opens the backstage he turns back to the cameras.

Frostbite.. Suzi, Merry Christmas...

He shuts the door behind him.

Jeremy Tucker: Some strong words from Frostbite.

Andrew Fulton: Look I am not Frostbite biggest fan, but listening to him and seeing that look in his eyes. He is all business, and I really believe he will do whatever it takes to walk out of here champion.

[SWAT Team]

[Kilroy Evans walks to the ring at a relaxed pace, taking time to talk to the fans, having a laugh with them, and point out signs he finds particularly funny. It's clear as he enters that Kilroy is intent on enjoying every part of this match, start to finish. Kilroy rolls into the ring, waves at the fans again, and then looks to the entrance area, pacing slowly and purposefully.]

[Cobryn pushes through the curtain and starts to walk down the ramp with his eyes fixed on Kilroy. He smirks and cracks his neck as he saunters down.]

Jeremy Tucker: Well folks here we are with a match for the ages, two legendary wrestlers who have locked horns so many times down the years.

Andrew Fulton: These two really do represent a golden area in pro wrestling. Who will come out on top tonight?!

[Corbyn steps through the ropes and walks past Kilroy to stand in one corner. The referee motions for Kilroy to stand in the opposite, and he backs up, laughing at Cobryn.]

Frank Salazar: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, introducing first... From Key Largo of the Florida Keys, standing 6'4 and weighing in this evening at 252lbs... he is the former AW World Heavyweight Champion. The former Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion. The former UWA World Heavyweight Champion... COOOOOOOOOOOOBRYN!!!!

[The arena fills with boos. Corbyn smirks and continues to stare down Kilroy.]

Frank Salazar: And his opponent... from Attbury, South Carolina... standing 5'11 and weighing 239lbs... he is himself the former UWA World Heavyweight Champion. The former Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion. The former IWA World Triple Crown Heavyweight Champion... KILROOOOOOOOY EVANS!!!!

[Cobryn and Kilroy lock up in the centre of the ring, Kilroy breaks it with an uppercut immediately, rocking Cobryn back. Kilroy swings and misses with a clothesline and Cobryn takes him down with a neckbreaker.]

Jeremy Tucker: Cobryn looks to follow up here but check this out – Kilroy Evans pulls down the ropes and sends Cobryn tumbling out of the ring!

Andrew Fulton: We hear this could be Kilroy Evans' last match for a while, and he's already taking it to his natural habitat, outside the ring, to a place of blunt instruments and concrete.

[Kilroy rattles Cobryn's head off the metal crowd barricade, and he slumps to the mat outside the ring.]

Jeremy Tucker: Kilroy Evans soaking up the cheers of the crowd. These two have shared battles, minus the past few years hiatus, for over a decade. Cobryn knows exactly what a match with Kilroy Evans can be like.

Andrew Fulton: Hardly a match at all.

Jeremy Tucker: You said it. Here comes Kilroy, back dropping Cobryn onto the mat!!

Referee Frederik Gunnarson: 1...

[The ref's count begins as Cobryn arches his back off of the mat in pain outside the ring. He rolls around and Kilroy starts to drag him back up by his hair.]

Referee Frederik Gunnarson: 2...

Jeremy Tucker: Rake to the eye by Cobryn, buying himself a window of opportunity, he drives Kilroy back first into the steel ring post!!

[Kilroy's back audibly slaps off the metal and he slumps to the mat. Cobryn stretches his back and wraps Kilroy's head off the ring apron.]

Referee Frederik Gunnarson: 3...

Andrew Fulton: Well we had a few seconds of action inside the actual ring but these guys are going to run the risk of being counted out.

Referee Frederik Gunnarson: 4...

[Cobryn suplexes Kilroy onto the mat! Kilroy rolls around in pain as Cobryn sits up and grits his teeth.]

Jeremy Tucker: Cobryn rolls Kilroy back into the ring and finally the referee can break his count. Cobryn pulls Kilroy up and goes for the irish whip. Solid shoulder block back from Kilroy Evans however!

Andrew Fulton: He's a meaty fella is Kilroy Evans. Let me tell ya.

Jeremy Tucker: Kilroy drops a leg over Cobryn's face! First pin attempt.

Referee Frederik Gunnarson: 1... (Cobryn kicks out)

[Kilroy stalks Cobryn and plants him with a back drop. He then clamps on a sleeper hold.]

Jeremy Tucker: Kilroy has Cobryn in that vice like grip, choking the air out of his old adversary.

[Cobryn starts to flail around as Kilroy continues to squeeze the life out of him dead centre of the ring. Kilroy can be visibly seen to whisper “sssshhhhh... ssshhhh...” in Cobryn's ears.]

Andrew Fulton: Cobryn is fading!

Jeremy Tucker: No it looks like there's plenty more in the tank yet – Cobryn battles back up and lands an elbow in Kilroy's midsection. Cobryn bursts to life with a Sambo Suplex!!

Referee Frederik Gunnarson: 1... (Kilroy kicks out)

[Cobryn pulls Kilroy back up and forces him into a corner. He chops him across the chest and then starts laying in the right hands.]

Jeremy Tucker: Cobryn with the irish whip to the other side of the ring, he follows up with a splash crushing Kilroy against the turnbuckle.

Andrew Fulton: Can he build some steam here?

Jeremy Tucker: Leg capture suplex!! What a move.

[Cobryn neglects the pin. He pulls up Kilroy instead and flattens him with a t-bone suplex.]

Jeremy Tucker: Cobryn working through his whole back catalogue here! He's absolutely put himself into ascendancy in this match.

[Cobryn goes for a cocky pin with his foot and the crowd hail down boos.]

Referee Frederik Gunnarson: 1... (Kilory kicks out)

Jeremy Tucker: He won't be beating Kilroy Evans like that.

Andrew Fulton: And he knows it.

[Cobryn slaps the back of Kilroy's head as he stumbles back up shadow boxing. Cobryn laughs but gets caught out by a belly to belly suplex!!]

Jeremy Tucker: It's Kilroy this time answering with a suplex of his own!

[Kilroy sits up and shakes off the cobwebs like a mastiff. Cobryn pulls himself up by the rops. Kilroy hits a drop toe hold and guilloutines Cobryn on the bottom rope.]

Jeremy Tucker: Can Kilroy keep put some distance between himself and those suplexes he took a moment ago. He can't afford to let Cobryn build up that offence, and he knows it.

Andrew Fulton: Wait, here comes Marty Donovan- obviously it wasn't going to take long for one of Kilroy's Society of the New Breed buddies to come and help out.

[Donovan stands on the outside shouting encouragement to Kilroy. Kilroy hits a full nelson facebuster.]

Referee Frederick Gunnarson: 1... 2... (Cobryn kicks out).

Jeremy Tucker: Kilroy Evans with a wicked headbutt! He rocks Cobryn back and hooks him up with a Brainbuster suplex!!

Referee Frederick Gunnarson: 1... 2... (Cobryn kicks out).

Andrew Fulton: Nothing doing right now. It's going to take more than that to keep Cobryn down.

[Evans waves at Marty Donovan and grips Cobryn in a side headlock. Cobryn groans as Kilroy yanks on his neck.]

Jeremy Tucker: Cobryn with a back suplex quickly cutting that one off.

Andrew Fulton: Cobryn hooks the arms for a Liger Bomb!!

Referee Frederick Gunnarson: 1... 2... (Kilroy kicks out).

[Kilroy rolls around groggy as Cobryn grits his teeth and spits. He twists Kilroy into a Rude Awakening.]

Jeremy Tucker: This could be it!!

Referee Frederick Gunnarson: 1... 2.. (Kilroy kicks out)

Jeremy Tucker: We're watching two of the most insanely resilient wrestlers the industry has ever seen here folks, who knows what it's going to take to win this match?

Andrew Fulton: No arguments there, these two could take almost anything the other can throw.

[Cobryn waits for Kilroy to get back up and runs in with a running double knee lift! The crowd let out an “Oooohhh” as Kilroy's head is rattled back. Cobryn hooks the leg.]

Referee Frederik Gunnarson: 1... 2... (Kilroy kicks out)

Jeremy Tucker: No! The match goes on. Marty Donovan is on the apron now, remonstrating with the referee about something.

Andrew Fulton: Cobryn puts an end to that and swats him off. But Kilroy gets the roll up!

Referee Frederik Gunnarson: 1... 2... (Cobryn kicks out)

[Cobryn is enraged and drags Kilroy up, but Kilroy latches on and bites him in the face! Cobryn reels back holding his face in horror while the referee gives Kilroy a warning.]

Jeremy Tucker: You can always count on Kilroy for unorthodox technique!! Kilroy drops Cobryn with a jawbreaker!

[Marty Donovan slides Kilroy a steel chair, gives him a thumbs up and a grin, which Kilroy returns.]

Jeremy Tucker: Wait... wait!

[Kilroy obliterates the steel chair over Cobryn's head. The referee obviously immediately calls for the bell. Kilroy looks at the referee kind of confused and asks “oh was I not supposed to do that?”]

Jeremy Tucker: Kilroy Evans just got himself disqualified here – it doesn't seem like Marty Donovan giving him a weapon was all that helpful at all!

[Cobryn lies motionless with the frame of the chair surrounding his head. “No Quarter” by Led Zepplin kicks back in and the crowd boo. The referee raises Cobryn's lifeless arm.]

Frank Salazar: “HERE IS YOUR WINNER BY DISQUALIFICATION... COOOOOBRYNNN!!!”

[Marty shrugs at Kilroy and says “I really thought you had it”. Kilroy looks down at Cobryn who still hasn't moved and asks if he's okay.]

Jeremy Tucker: Well ladies and gentlemen if this is the last match we see Kilroy Evans wrestle for a while it's probably fitting that it ended with a blunt implement and a DQ.

Andrew Fulton: The SWAT locker room will be a safer place without him.

[Marty Donovan pats Kilroy on the back as they make their way back up the ramp and Kilroy high fives some of the fans on the way.]

[suzispitz]

Alright... let's get back to the matter at hand, shall we?

Now I know that this must seem as normal an event as you have become accustomed to, the program returning from a commercial break, with cameras panning the crowd, and eventually settling upon the evenings broadcast announcers who tend to ramble on, and on about events that you've already gained knowledge of during the previous segment of programming. Let me assure you that this segment will become something the likes of which has never been witnessed before, and will become known as the night that S.W.A.T. changed forever.

For example, the moment the strange smelling smoke began pouring from somewhere near the entrance ramp. I'll bet you never even noticed anything different about it until I just mentioned it, but the attitude of everyone in the arena soon changes, because of the seemingly intoxicating effect of this mysterious cloud which now saturates the entire building.

You notice that the people around you can't seem to remove the rather large smiles from their faces, and now, the massive roar of this frenzied audience is changing to a steady stream of chattering, and laughter amongst themselves. I know you have to be wondering at least for a passing moment if this were some sort of practical joke, however, you're still enjoying yourself, aren't you? But of course you are...this is what you've come here for, to expect the unexpected. There's still the rest of the evening to come, and the night is yet young, don't allow your mind to talk you into believing that this will be all that's in store for you, although the production staff try their best to go on with the show as they have always done before, hoping that nothing more which has not been pre-approved will occur, but you suspect otherwise, don't you?

You feel a sudden hunger, and look down at your watch to see that there's still a few more minutes until the program is scheduled to continue, so you decide to run out to one of the concession stands to get some nachos...and a burger...and maybe a few candy bars...oh, and you'll need a drink to go with all of that...but let's not get carried away, the munchies can be a powerful obstacle to overcome, however, I'm sure you can pull it together, especially after you see the highly inflated prices you'll be asked to pay.

With only one minute left until the program goes back on the air, the somewhat larger than normal sea of wrestling fans within this enormous arena are thrilled to see that the evening's ringside commentators, Jeremy Tucker and Andrew Fulton, are putting away their notes, and putting their headsets back on, in preparation for the return to air-time. The arena erupts in cheers, as the fans know that they are witnessing the greatest entertainment spectacle known to man, and the intoxicating cloud which still lingers in the building seems to make them even more rowdy than usual.

Without warning, the lights in the arena dim, and blinding explosions rock the building as the show gets back underway. It's common knowledge, even among those of lesser intelligence, that the excitement of the fans greatly increases the show's impact on television ratings, and it immediately becomes apparant that tonight's World Championship March will be one of the greatest ever shown on television, a fact which is quickly acknowledged by Jeremy, and Andrew, who's voices are heard while the cameras pan the audience...

Jeremy Tucker : Welcome back to Battleground! We've still got plenty of action coming up for you, but during the commercial break, we seem to have had a bit of a situation, and Andrew, I'm feeling a little strange, so you might have to cover my ass a little bit, in case I'm not able to conduct myself in a professional manner! This cloud of smoke, this intoxicating haze, which has permeated the arena is making me just a little nauseous. Nevertheless, I'm going to try to fulfill my contractual obligation to this great company, and I'll do my...

The camera settles in on the two announcers, as Fulton interrupts Jeremy in mid-sentence...

Andrew Fulton : Quit babbling Tucker! You know as well as I do that this "intoxicating haze", as you called it is nothing more than some idiot's idea of a practical joke! And stop trying to act like you don't know what it is! Everyone here tonight knows it's pot! And you're not the only one who's feeling strange, so just stop with the whole pity act. I'm not covering anyone's ass but my own!

Jeremy Tucker : Well, be that as it may, the fact remains that we've got one hell of a main event for you here tonight, and this place is electric!

Jeremy lets out a short burst of laughter before continuing...

Jeremy Tucker : Oh boy, I've already said something to that effect. Andrew, I'm afraid I just don't know what I'm talking about! You and I have been friends for many years, and I'm asking you man to man, please cover my ass!

Andrew Fulton : You're not the only one who doesn't know what you're talking about Tucker! I don't have a clue what you're saying either! You haven't said anything to any effect! So far, all you've done is babble a bunch of nonsense about covering your ass! Now, I think we should just go on with the show as if nothing is wrong, so I'm asking you... man to man... can we just stick with the wrestling program, and leave our own personal matters out of it?

Jeremy Tucker : I don't think you understand, Andy! I've been a commentator for nearly twenty-five years! I'm a consummate professional! I'VE GOT MY OWN COOKBOOK FOR GOD'S SAKE! AND I'M STONED! I...AM...STONED! AND THERE'S NOT A DAMNED THING YOU, OR I, OR ANYONE ELSE, FOR THAT MATTER, CAN DO ABOUT IT! AND TO MAKE MATTERS EVEN WORSE, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL I'M TALKING ABOUT! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I APOLOGIZE FOR THIS DISGUSTING DISPLAY, BUT BLAME IT ON THE JOKER WHO PUT THAT HORRIBLE MARIJUANA IN THE FLASH PODS! BLAME IT ON THE SECURITY GUARDS WHO LET THAT MORON EVEN GO NEAR THE PYRO EQUIPMENT! BLAME IT ON ANYONE YOU WANT TO! JUST DON'T BLAME ME, DAMN IT! IT'S NOT MY FAULT!

Andrew Fulton : Look Tucker, sometimes, you just have to go with the flow... I mean, just look around... everyone in the arena has a smile on their face except you! So just loosen up, and stop complaining! We've got a job to do here, let's not forget that.

Jeremy Tucker : Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize...

Andrew Fulton : And stop apologizing! just get on with the show Tucker! Nobody cares if you're...

Suddenly, Andrew is interrupted as the lights go out, leaving the entire arena in complete darkness, and after a moment, the Videotron comes on, and there she stands, your World Heavyweight Champion

SS : Mmmph... This is some scary sh*t!

Suzi Spitz tosses a handful of Reese's Pieces into her mouth, and begins chewing on them furiously, as she watches one of her favorite Godzilla movies on the small television monitor in her dressing room... then, after swallowing the wonderfully delicious candy, she looks into the camera, kisses her pretty gold belt, and begins to speak...

SS : That's it! I'm not afraid of Godzilla... I AM Godzilla! And the only thing I'm afraid of is ME! SUZI SPITZ, BITCHES!

I asked for a competitive match, and now I've got one... the only problem is that I'm facing some guy who weighs about a hundred pounds more than me. The funny thing about these big guys... especially this guy, is that they always flap their gums about how easy they think it's gonna be ta beat me. Why? I think I know why... because I'm "just a girl"...

I guess the shame of being dominated so completely by little ol' me, is just too much for them to anticipate, so they have to hide behind their big mouths, hopin' like hell they can intimidate me... but, ya see, in Japan, where Godzilla lives, there's something called losing face... that means that when a loudmouthed chump like Frostbite gets a mudhole stomped in his ass, his own people, in this case, the entire S.W.A.T. Roster, would look down on him in shame, and he would have to go to some kind of school, and cry for forgiveness... I saw it in a movie called Gung Ho. But, by hiding his insecurity behind all that macho talk, he can save face, because his peers are very deceitful little scoundrels, and dumbasses, just like Frostie, who simply can't stand the fact that they ain't got what it takes ta strap this belt around their waists. They can't stand the fact that no matter what kinda crap comes outta their mouths before the match, the only thing comin' outta their mouths after the match, are the teeth I kicked out as soon as they step into my ring...

Now, I was in the back during the last show, and I watched Frostie's match on the monitor. I'd really like to tell you that I was impressed, but I can't. In fact, I was downright disappointed. I mean, who cares, right? HE ain't the champion. He ain't the face of this company. I AM! And it's Frostbite who's totally SCREWED OVER by S.W.A.T. because of their ridiculous desire ta keep lame champions who couldn't wrestle their way out of their loser fan's asses long enough to see that they're stinkin' up the place!

But I digress...

because they can dress me up like Santa Claus all they want, and I can rattle off a buncha stupid Christmas nursery rhymes for hours on end, and they can have me stand around watchin' cheap Japanese movies, but the only thing that matters is the SIMPLE FACT!.. heh-heh... that no matter what ya say... no matter how awesome ya pretend ta be...

Frostbite, you still ain't nothin' but a funny rubber monster, and me?..

hmmmph...

I'm still Suzi Spitz...

THE!.. S.W.A.T. World Wrestlin' Champion...

and I'm about ta whip your ass, pal.

I'm.about ta whip your ass reeeal bad...

The Violent Vixen hits her big fat fattie, and blows a smoke laden kiss to her fans, as well as to her detractors, before she turns her television monitor off, and begins lacing her boots, before she is heard to speak one last time...

SS : That's all...

You can go now.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

~ ❤ ~

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker : And we are back, coming up now, its mixed tag team action, Goth and his Wife Vampira Vs Timeless and Roxylishus.

Andrew Fulton : The Hottest of the Hot Roxylishus Jerry, get it right.

Jeremy Tucker : This has been brewing for months, way back to when Goth and Vampira were shunned for the cover of SWAT Magazine for Timeless and Roxylishus. Goth and Vampira took exception to that, and ever since there has been bad blood between the four of them.

Andrew Fulton : It’s not the first time they have been shunned and won’t be the last, they should be happy to even be getting in the ring with the likes of Timeless and Roxylishus.

[Orion - Eternity (Chillout Version) hits and Turner struts down the aisle, glaring at the crowd with contempt and disgust. Roxylishus stops to interact with one of the crowd, then wretches and turns away heading to the ring, she gets up on the apron and holds the ropes down for Timeless.

Roxylishus grabs the mic and passes it to Timeless.]

Timeless : I got passion in my pants and i ain’t afraid to show it.

Crowd : I’M, SEXY AND I KNOW IT!

Timeless : No (holding his hand up to block them) Your not! I (points to himself with his thumb) AM!

You know what Goth. You just don’t get it do you. You run your mouth, and prattle on and on and on, and i don’t know what you think, but man, i got to say, sometimes, it’s just pathetic!

We call your bitch Trampira, cause you know, it rhymes, and FITS!

So you like the four year old you are, give us the old Trampilishus.

[Timeless shakes his head in disappointment.]

Look at me man! TAKE A GOOD FUCKEN LOOK! I am SirWinsalot! The best damn wrestler to ever lace a pair of boots! (he flexes his muscles and men and women around the world long in their loins for him) We are the KGB! Kross Global Bandits! Your own brethren stabbed you in the back to be down with us! Think about that! Take your you are pre school replies, and prepare to get the ever loving shit kicked out of you!

[Timeless roughly plants the mic into Franks chest and he sells it as Roxylishus poses with Timeless in the ring, the picture of what you wish you could be these two are.]

Frank Salazar : The following tornado tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, hailing from New Hope Minnesota .... the SWAT Technical Champion ..... TIMELESS!!!!! And his tag team partner .... ROXYLISHUS!!!

[Crowd pop as they pose and also boo them. ]

Frank Salazar : and introducing their opponents, hailing from the depths of hell ... they are PSYCHOTIC GOTH AND VAMPIRAAAAAA!!!

[Evil green mist bellows out of the ring entrance as a woman screams and Psychotic Goth laughing maniacally as "Welcome To Your Death" by Annihilator plays and Vampira leads Psychotic Goth to ringside in chains while holding Psychotic Goth's homemade weapon. He ignores the ringsiders and stops at the ring for Vampira to unlock the chains and Psychotic Goth rubs his wrists hard as he climbs the ringsteps and enters the ring and stands in his corner. He slowly takes off his trenchcoat and jewelry before he lowers his head and raises his arms before throwing his head back revealing his pale handsome gothlike looks looking and snarling like a demonic maniac crazed and intimidating as he is given his homemade weapon and he caresses it before placing it in his corner.]



Jeremy Tucker : Referee Bo Brady calls for the bell and we are under way, Goth charges at Timeless and Vampira at Roxylishus, Timeless catches Goth and takes him over with a beautiful arm drag, Spear by Vampira on Roxy.

Andrew Fulton : That’s Roxylishus.

Jeremy Tucker : Vampira jumps on Roxylishus and starts wailing away with some heavy lefts and rights. Goth jumps back to his feet and runs at Timeless, but Timeless catches him with the best damn drop kick in the business, and Goth sails over the top rope.

Andrew Fulton : Vampira grabs the hair of Roxylishus and starts ramming the back of her head into the canvas. Timeless cuts her off with a hard right boot to the skull.

Jeremy Tucker : Timeless drags Vampira to her feet by the hair and she is struggling, but he locks her in a full nelson, and Roxylishus reels back and clocks her with a huge open hand chop to the chest, then another, and another! Goth back in the rig and he mows Timeless down with a double axe handle.

Andrew Fulton : Roxylishus starts choking Vampira, she is throttling her, Timeless to his feet and Goth plants him with a lightning belly to back suplex.

Jeremy Tucker : Roxylishus scoop slams Vampira, then stomps her.

Andrew Fulton : Goth with a rear naked choke on Timeless, get in there ref, he is choking him out!

Jeremy Tucker : Brady is checking but motions it’s a legal hold, Timeless is gasping for air, Goth has it locked in tight.

Andrew Fulton : Roxylishus claws the eyes of Goth, and he releases the choke, great save!

Jeremy Tucker : She then claws his back and Timeless gets up and drills him with a dragon suplex.

Andrew Fulton : Timeless Irish whips Vampira into the turnbuckle, hard, and she somersaults on it and lands in the tree of woe .... Roxylishus measures her and charges in and delivers a bronco buster to the upside down Vampira, the crowd going nuts!

Jeremy Tucker : Timeless then Irish whips Goth to the opposite ropes and he also somersaults into the tree of woe ... Roxylishus measures him now and charges in, but stops at the last moment, and shakes her finger, no no no. Then slaps the taste out of Goths mouth.

Andrew Fulton : Goth glares fury at her and gets a foot out of the ropes and boots her in the head, knocking her down, Timeless runs in and Goth evades him, Timeless slamming hard into the corner, Goth then springboard roaring elbows him.

Jeremy Tucker : Vampira grabs Roxylishus and hoists her up and WHAM! What a piledriver! Vampira goes for the cover ............

One ......................

Two .....................

Thr .... Roxylishus gets a shoulder up.

Andrew Fulton : Yes! Goth grabs Timeless and he delivers a huge powerbomb ... then another .... then a third! Triple Powerbomb on Timeless by Goth!

Jeremy Tucker : Timeless is out and Goth and Vampira move over and double team Roxy, Goth holds her up in a reverse bear hug, Vampira mounts the top turnbuckle, and spinning heel kick and Goth German Suplexes her with the momentum.

Andrew Fulton : See Goth pushing his privates into Roxy in that Bear hug, the creep is taking liberties in there.

Jeremy Tucker : He did no such thing.

Andrew Fulton : Goth covers Roxy, Vampira laying the boots to Timeless to stop him interfering .....

Jeremy Tucker : One ......................

Two ......................

THREE!!!! No! Roxy has her foot on the ropes! Brady saying its not over and the count doesn’t stand.

Andrew Fulton : Great call Brady! Timeless sweeps the legs of Vampira, then drops her with a devastating Falcon Arrow!

Jeremy Tucker : Phantam and Tong run down to the ring, and jump on the apron. Goth tells them to scram, and get out of his business. Timeless clotheslines the back of his neck and Goth tumbles over the ropes.

Andrew Fulton : Roxy distracts the ref, charming him, who can resist her?

Jeremy Tucker : Not him by the looks, he is all goggle eyed. Phantam and Tong lay the boots to Goth and then Timeless plants Vampira with a fishermans bomb.

Andrew Fulton : Roxylishus stands over her .... YES!!!! SPLIT SPLASH!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Timeless delivers another Falcon Arrow! This should be it!

One ....................

Two .....................

THREE!!!!!! The KGB win!

Andrew Fulton : Never in doubt! Here comes Suit, Bruno and Canelli also, and they join the Fairtex boys in stomping on Goth.

Jeremy Tucker : This is totally unnecessary. Look at this! From the back runs Lucky Linda, she has a chair and she starts swinging at them wildly, she warned the KGB earlier if there was any of these shenanigans she would be there to put a stop to it!

Andrew Fulton : She isn’t alone either! Right behind her, there is Frostbite! And Doomsday and Lucifer! The KGB are back tracking, there is another out there with the SWAT guys, a masked women, who is she?

Jeremy Tucker : I don’t know! This is great! Finally SWAT is uniting against the KGB!

Andrew Fulton : Good for them, but a little too late, Timeless and Roxylishus won the match!

Jeremy Tucker : The KGB have taken off, they are not interested in an even fight! Linda grabs the mic!

”I told you we would not stand for this any longer!” Yells Linda. “We are fed up with the constant interference in our matches and the cheating and the BULLSHIT that comes with it!” The crowd erupts for her swearing.

“New Years Nightmare! We want you KGB! We, TEAM SWAT want YOU in the WAR GAMES!!! ” Crowd are going absolutely ballistic as Linda, Frosty, The 7 ft monsters and masked women check on Goth and Vampira.

Andrew Fulton : Wow! War Games at New Years Nightmare! Linda and Team SWAT just bit of more than they can chew if you ask me.

Jeremy Tucker : Nobody did ask you. They are uniting against the Bandits, and i for one am thrilled they are taking a stand. We’ll be right back folks with our next match up, Radu in a handicap match against the retiring HB and Powerhouse.

[SWAT Team]

The first snowfall of winter, a cue to wrap things up for the evening. Wishing her friends goodnight, the young woman takes her leave of them. She wouldn't normally use this shortcut at this late an hour, but wants to get home before roads get harder to walk through. Alone. Tired from trudging through the frozen murk. Prey so easy it feels like an early present for the holidays.

The beast stalks in for the kill. He can't control himself. The prey doesn't notice him. Pulling a thick coat around her ears to ward off frost bite, she muffles her senses, oblivious to heavy footsteps behind her.

He wants to stop this. This isn't him anymore... but he isn't in control. The hunger is. The very real hunger.

So he charges forwards, driven on by black wings. Bat wings. The angel of death at this back. Embracing him. Joanne Canelli's full lips whispering poisonous words that compel him on. A goddess... with eyes that barely mask the same contempt for him as the victim they pounce towards.

The Beast and The Beauty, its hard to tell where one ends and the other begins - merged into a wave of hate. The young woman finally turns towards this maelstrom of darkness, wide eyed at her finally moments, as the predators strike.

Bursting into a cloud of bats.

[Backstage.]

[Radu Matei wakes up in a cold sweat.]

[He figured dropping the strap would let him sleep more. That has not proved to be the case. From human punching bag to inhuman menace. The former world champion looks down at his Helloween Cup. Supernatural bullshit. Halloween is suppose to be over. He doesn't have time for these suggestions of supernatural terror. Pain killers are clearly having him tripping balls. Shaking off the bad dream, Matei finds himself in the locker room area, looking up at a monitor that displays the current show, he cringes.]

Radu Matei: ...son of a bitch.

[Furious, Matei charges out of the dressing room.]

[Cut to: The Announce position.]

***************************************

Jeremy Tucker: Welcome back fans! We have the first scheduled change of the evening.

Andrew Fulton: Card subject to change - first rule of live television!

Jeremy Tucker: Since losing the world title to Radu Matei, former champion, Henry Brown has been demanding a rematch. For the better part of half a year, Brown claimed he wasn't prepared for the defence, and that he was owed another shot. Well tonight that rematch was going to happen, with Joe Pesci putting Radu against both Brown and his Royal Family associate, Powerhouse.

Andrew Fulton: You know Joe is doing everything in his power to weaken Matei going into that New Year's Nightmare's retirement match! I'm not saying that the Royal Family was going to win, Radu only has one singles loss since joining SWAT, and he pinned himself in it. He WAS going to know he had been in a fight though. The Royal Family are the definition of hosses!

Jeremy Tucker: Sadly earlier in the night, on the eve of getting just what he had been asking for, Henry Brown announced his retirement from SWAT.

Andrew Fulton: I give it a week.

Jeremy Tucker: Which means we won't be delivering that promised match. We apologize fans. Its not often we get to deliver two former world champions going toe to toe, especially in the midcard. We know what a disappointment it must have been.

Andrew Fulton: So you can only imagine our confusion.

Jeremy Tucker: Exactly. Wondering, what the hell he's doing in the ring.

Cutting to a shot of ringside, Henry Brown is standing in the centre of the ring with a microphone ready to address all his fans.

Andrew Fulton: Did I say a week? Maybe an hour.

Jeremy Tucker: Well let's head to ringside, and here what Hell's Bouncer has to say...

*MEGA POP*

The crowd erupts as Radu Matei comes charging out of the back before his music plays.

Jeremy Tucker: WAIT, here comes Matei!

Andrew Fulton: You know that Brown has got under his skin with claims that the Sacrificial Idol has been ducking him, only to go on hiatus whenever an opportunity came up.

Jeremy Tucker: Brown dropping the mic ready to fight, and here comes Matei charging into the ring...

DING!!!        DING!!!!!!    DING!!!!

Jeremy Tucker: There is the bell, with Brown trying to stomp on Matei before he can get fully into the ring - NO! Matei leaping up with a forearm shot to the temple! That took the big man down!
















ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




















TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






















THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


DING!

*HUGE POP*

Jeremy Tucker: JESUS!

Andrew Fulton: Was that even 3 seconds?! That has to be some kind of a record!

Frank Salazar: The winner of this match...

RADUUUUUUUUU MATEI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jeremy Tucker: Did you see Bouncer's eyes roll into the back of his head? Matei with one shot taking out the former world champion, and Henry Brown is out cold. Matei shouting down some less than complimentary words at his opponent! Paramedics racing into the ring to check on Brown's condition, that was a NASTY shot. Matei picking up Bouncer's microphone...

Radu Matei: Where the hell are my bugs at?

Jeremy Tucker: The crowd responding, but Matei wasn't looking for a response - he wants a sack of insects to douse Bouncer with. Paramedics working furiously to secure the unconscious retiring star and get the hell out of there before the roaches come. Flashing a light in HB's eyes, trying smelling salts, but he has been knocked out cold. Now securing his neck with a brace and trying to put him on a gurney. Production assistants searching under the ring for the bag of maggots, thanks fellas, while the crowd cheer Matei on.

Radu Matei: Must be his lucky day. Get that scum out of my ring.

Jeremy Tucker: The paramedics are happy to oblige, slowly pulling Henry Brown out of the ring. He's strapped down to a gurney. His size means that a few of the production assistants are helping the paramedics to carry it out. Matei looks genuinely pissed off at Brown quitting again, only to stick around to cut promos.

Andrew Fulton: Pesci has definitely pushed the Helloween Cup winner to the breaking point, and he already seemed edgy after that Canelli bite.

Radu Matei <looking down on Brown as they carry him out>: Remember this, Bouncer. For all those guys who quit because they thought working with you was an embarrassment, only for you to BRAG that their CONTEMPT for you... was YOU running them out. I just ran you out. If you ever decide to come back, remember, I beat you in RECORD TIME. That means that you don't come in looking for world titles, or with excuses that you were injured, or needed to find your smile. Your a sorry excuse for a wrestler, but there are NO excuses on this. You come back, you do so PRAYING you can get a clean win in the curtain jerking. Prove yourself from scratch. You think long and hard about how you're going to come back from this... if you SHOULD come back from this. Even though I owe you a maggot shower or three, I doubt I will be here when you come crawling back.

Not that I'm planning to lose any retirement matches anytime soon, but when I win, I can retire. I won't be waiting for you to find your smile. When you do come with your tail between your legs, remember, whether I'm here or not, THIS IS THE STANDARD of a world champion. Shape up before you ever mention THAT title again.

The paramedics and officials finally get Henry Brown's stretcher up the aisle.

Jeremy Tucker: Cold words from the world champion to the exiting Brown. One almost wonders if he's trying to inspire him to come back.

Andrew Fulton: That certainly seemed inspirational.

Radu Matei: When I look at that would be chump - I'm reminded of just why I hate Lynn Brewster's guts. THAT PIECE OF TRASH became the standard of excellence under her watchful eye. Oh I'm sure she was just finding someone so questionable that it wouldn't seem like favourtism when she handed it to herself... but here we are. Her shutting down SWAT Dixie, rendering me homeless, then acting like I was part of the Backyard gang... it was a little condescending, and more fuel to the me kicking her teeth out fire. POINT IS. That's all water under the bridge.

We had our war. History will remember the victor.

The enemy of my enemy is my friend.

She made a worthy adversary, and it pains me to see her dusting Pesci's mantle. I consider her current situation to be yet another PERSONAL INSULT from Jo. ...Which is why, just as shuttering SWAT Dixie left me homeless, I'm now going to return the favour.

This holiday season... I'm putting LYNN BREWSTER ON THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE!!!

*MONSTER POP*

Radu Matei: Jo, you've had Lynn polish the last car, scrub the last toilet, FLUFF the last pillow! At New Year's Nightmare, I'm freeing Lynn... hell Jo... I'm FREEING SWAT of your celebrity impersonator indie bullshit once and for all. They say you don't appreciate what you have till its gone... well I hope you liked the SWAT residuals, because I figure every cent the SWAT board of directors uses to settle your shares are going to go to you hospital bills.

Once you're gone, Jo, Lynn is free of you.

You're going to have to hire a new personal assistant, which you're going to need... because after New Year's Nightmare, you aren't going to have the movement in your limbs to wipe your own ass!

Matei drops the microphone, and starts posing for his adoring crowd.

Andrew Fulton: OH NO! Joe uses his limbs for other things to... we can't let this match happen.

Jeremy Tucker: The former world champion in a murderous mood. In three short weeks, he'll cash in his Helloween Cup shot to main event New Year's Nightmare against the SWAT owner in a retirement match. Fans, even though Pesci isn't an active wrestler, you're not going to want to miss that! The closest thing pay per view can provide you to a snuff video, I'm sure.

Andrew Fulton: Between running off Bouncer, freeing Brewster, and probably killing Joe... it seems like Radu Matei is wrapping up all his loose ends.

Jeremy Tucker: He's definitely a man possessed! And god knows how many career ending injuries he suffered during his title run. I think he was sincere about wanting to quit before Helloween Cup, the only thing keeping him here is Pesci.

Andrew Fulton: Well that's just it. If Matei is going anyway, don't you think that Pesci will find someway to win.

Jeremy Tucker: When hell freezes over.

Andrew Fulton: That's the start of a game plan.

Having posed for enough pictures, Radu Matei starts to leave... a motor revs. Next to the stage, a Fiat Fullback carts out an imposing looking shark cage.

Jeremy Tucker: If Matei thought he was going to get through the evening without breaking a sweat, he clearly missed Zoran Sainovic's machinations with Pesci in the back.

Andrew Fulton: Here come Joe's nephews climbing out of that Fiat like it was some sort of clown... car... or something. His family is huge. Wait, are they all Japanese too?

Jeremy Tucker: Carrying that shark cage down the aisle. The small kind of cage used for shark diving, little room to maneuver, just enough for two men to tear each other to shreds. The stipulation that Zoran Sainovic demanded while setting up this match. After months of psychological abuse, it all comes down to this...

Andrew Fulton: The nephews placing it in front of the ring, and taking a few steps back. Clearly the way for The Beast...

Zoran Sainovic: Ve've known each other for so long Rad... I figured ve could keep zis encounter one on one.

Emerging from the curtains, the former ZAT and Ultimate Champion gestures to the cage like a gentlemen.

Looking to tear Sainovic apart faster than he cut down Brown, Matei makes his way down to the cage, keeping an arm apprehensively against the door as he awaits his oppo----*

*MONSTER JEERS*

Jeremy Tucker: JOE PESCI FROM BEHIND WITH A CATTLE PROD ELECTROCUTING THE CAGE! How many volts did he just send through that metal.

Andrew Fulton: Matei trying to shake it off, keeping the cage door open with one fist, while reaching out to grab Joe with the other.

*MONSTER JEERS*

Jeremy Tucker: Joe using that baton again, and... is Matei smoking?!

Andrew Fulton: Well he's going to be BURNED when he catches the replay of this! Here comes Sainovic down the aisle - slamming the steel cage door into Matei, and knocking the former champion into the cramped cage.

Jeremy Tucker: Radu trying to... shake off the electrocution... fighting Sainovic as he pad locks the cage, but Zoran just bats him off. Shark cage locked with only Matei inside, Sainovic now running away, while the nephews attach... is that a chain? Oh come on!

Andrew Fulton: Pesci giving Matei a condescending wave with the cattle prod. That's our Joe! Wait---






! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !



*YOU BASTARDS OUTRAGE*

Jeremy Tucker: ZORAN SAINOVIC JUST TOOK OFF IN THAT FLATBED TRUCK, DRAGGING THE SHARK CAGE BEHIND HIM!!!

Andrew Fulton: THIS ISN'T A MATCH, ITS A HIT!

Flashbulbs soon turn to shock, with security having to work over time to keep the crowd from lynching Pesci. Joe cackles like a hyena as the shark cage drags across the concrete floor, sparks flying in its wake. Matei has to brace himself to keep the bumps from breaking his neck, only to have the cage hit the guardrail and almost break his hand. The guardrail is quite dented. Another bump almost sees it strike an elderly security guard, before being dragged out of camera range.

Jeremy Tucker: Can we keep visuals on-

We cut to the backstage area, where another videographer runs after the sound of screeching tires.

The camera catches up at the loading entrance, just as the Fiat races off! The cage slams into the concrete wall, sending Radu Matei sprawling into the metal bars like a rag doll. There is a real question about whether the Helloween Cup winner is alive... and then his body is dragged off into the night.

[Jonnie Valentine]

[Open on a cruise ship docked in Miami. As guests dressed in hockey jerseys and jorts walk the gangway, a recorded voice over by a very pleasant woman's voice is pumped over the PA system]


"Hello, and welcome to the maiden voyage of the 'Very Relatable' Jonnie Valentine 'Cruising For A Bruising' WrestleCruise here on the SS Society! We're very happy to have you here!" 


[Travelers get their baggage checked by sleepy security guards]


"Dance to the latest hits of 5 years ago in our nightclub "Jon Jon's", we have everything from Bruno Mars to Meghan Trainor, enjoy every song that you were sick of back then, one last time! We also have paid staff who act like every song is the greatest ever made. They know all the latest dances, so wives can learn the Stanky Leg, while their husbands watch from the bar." 


[Guests grab their plates and get in line for the buffet]


"Enjoy our bountiful buffets, see as our chef takes yesterday's chicken teriyaki, wash it off, and put it in the chicken alfredo. What? You think we can go to the store? We're in the middle of the goddamn ocean!" 


[People file down the hallways to their rooms]


"Our first port is an island that our corporate cruise liner has purchased, and populated with gift shops and bars. Feel like you're meeting exotic locals and supporting a third world economy while you buy one of our $35 t-shirt from a guy with a Tampa accent."


[Sunbathers lay out on the deck]


"Don't forget alcoholic drinks are free and limitless! Feel free to enjoy them in our casinos. Money's not real, you're on vacation! If you need a break, we invite you to drink heavily in our luxury malls we have provided for you to purchase high priced impulse buys. Again, vacation!" 


[Children slide down the waterslide]


"Attendance is mandatory for the live viewing of Menu of Mayhem where your cruise director 'Very Relatable' Jonnie Valentine will be wrestling The Mad Dog of Melbourne Paul Soutter in a dog collar match. Enjoy bottomless hot wings while Jonnie bashes his face in with the chain. Take advantage of our live Jonnie trivia game for prizes while Jonnie strangles the life out of him with the collar. And don't forget to buy a raffle ticket where the winner will get the very dog collar that they watched Jonnie beat Soutter nearly to death with, en route to crushing the KGB and ending their stranglehold on the long term future of Syndicate Wrestling And Tradition. Experience the thrills and excitement as you watch Jonnie celebrate a hard fought win over the The Australian Bull, then he will meet us at our last port in Belize." 


(A comedian does stand up for elderly people) 


"Jonnie Valentine will then join us for three days of wrestling and appearances. At 3:00pm get a picture with The Human Dropkick Machine. Then at 7:00pm enjoy a Q&A hosted by Tuxedo Mask, where you can hear Jonnie's thoughts and innermost emotions, if any! Then at 10:00pm, Jonnie will be a guest DJ at Jon Jon's where you can finally hear something that isn't Drake or Pitbull!"


(A picture of "Very Relatable" Jonnie Valentine in a smashing nautical get up)

 
"Yes, it's full sail to fun on the 'Very Relatable' Jonnie Valentine 'Cruising For A Bruising' WrestleCruise here on the SS Society!"