Battleground #21 : Menu of Mayhem (Show)

[SWAT Team]

Syndicate Wrestling & Tradition and the XHF presents ....

Coming to you LIVE from The SWAT Amazons Arena, New York!

Jeremy Tucker : Welcome to Battleground! Welcome_TO_SWAT!!!

Andrew Fulton : Man, what a show Helloween was.

Jeremy Tucker : A huge win to Radu Matei! Then, he goes and uses his New Years open match prize, to select SWAT Owner, Joe Pesci! If that’s what his name really is.

Andrew Fulton : We know it isn’t now, and that he is the former SWAT Japan owner Parishu Jo!

Jeremy Tucker : The man who sabotaged Radu’s career and sent him to SWAT Dixie is the same man who has been impersonating Joe Pesci in SWAT for the past three years!

Andrew Fulton : It’s like Days of our Lives this shit! Maybe there will be TWO Pesci’s, like when we had two Romans.

Jeremy Tucker : We? Two who’s?

Andrew Fulton : Maybe once Radu ends Parishu, Suit can go full Stefano?

Jeremy Tucker : I don’t know about none of all that, but i DO know that you are right on one thing, Radu WILL end him! That’s New Years though, this is Battleground, and what a show we have for you all tonight!

Andrew Fulton : Suzi Vs Frostbite for the Gold!

Jeremy Tucker : Valentine Vs Soutter! In a DOG COLLAR MATCH!

Andrew Fulton : Insane! The tag belts are on the line! Radu is in a handicap match, with Hells Destruction, apt name that, Handicap match.

Jeremy Tucker : Careful my friend, today’s world doesn’t stand for any veiled lines in regards to special needs people.

Andrew Fulton : Fuck Todays world. You think you are talking to Jim Cornette? I say what i want when i want! Sensors be FUCKED! That goes for the rat of the XHF out reporting shit also, she can kiss MY ASS!

Jeremy Tucker : Wow. Also on tonights show we have in action Cobryn! Syberus! Kilroy Evans! Lucky Linda La Fey! The in ring debut of Duke Kosloff!

Andrew Fulton : The only member of the XHF with the balls to enter a SWAT Ring Duke Kosloff you mean Jerry.

Jeremy Tucker : Yeah, that’s him. We also have Timeless and Roxylishus in action meeting Goth and Vampira in a show down that has been on the cards for months now!

Andrew Fulton : AND BLAZE FN FREYA! She was robbed in her Helloween Bracket Jerry, she had Frostbite beaten, easily, She is seething after that loss and she is going to show everyone what she is made of, you just mark my words.

Jeremy Tucker : We’ll be right back folks, with The Russian Assassin II Vs Duke Kosloff!

[SWAT Team]

[The Arena Lights Flicker and a blue spotlight shines down as God Gonna Cut you Down By Marilyn Manson starts to play. Trent Jones steps out wearing his black biker Vest and Jeans. His right-hand holds Chair-E up in the air. Trent Jones Looks very angry as he makes his way out.]

Andrew Fulton: What is Trent Jones doing out here?

Jeremy Tucker: It’s his second show and he already has new music who does he think he is?

Andrew Fulton: First off I think this guy is great and looks like you are going to get a chance to ask him as he is making his way over here.

[Trent Jones walks over to the announcer table and sits down next to Andrew Fulton and he sets Chair-E down. He grabs a headset and puts it on.]

Andrew Fulton: Welcome Trent Jones, Jeremy was wanting to ask you something.

Jeremy Tucker: Yeah um, so what brings you out here tonight?

Andrew Fulton: That’s odd you said this was only his second show and you wanted to know who he thought he was changing his music already. I personally think the new song is Great TJ… Is it ok if I call you that?

Trent Jones: Well to answer you, Jeremy, My name is Trent Jones, MR Bones. My music is none of your damn business. But to answer you I am out here because I want to set the record straight.

Frank Salazar: Our first match tonight is the debut match here in SWAT of the XHF Legend. He was born in Rusia but lives on the Asylum Island he is Duke Kosloff.

[The arena goes pitch black as pyros start to light up throughout the arena as the arena fills with smoke and flames. A monster of a man slowly appears walking down the ramp as passes by men standing in hooded robes symbol for Chaos on them as they all hold the Book of Chaos in their hands. Pyros shoot flames into the air you can hear "Nightmare" by Avenged Sevenfold playing. Duke methodically enters the ring stepping over the top rope making his way to the center of the ring standing there like a God as he waits for the bell to ring.]

Trent Jones: This dude is a chump I was watching some video feeds the other day and this guy has been around the XHF network more times than a hooker in an Atlanta truck stop.

Jeremy Tucker: Well those are harsh words.

Andrew Fulton: Well let’s face it he isn’t lying.

[Trent Jones stands up with a Microphone and is looking at Duke]

Trent Jones: Asshole why dont you go back to the island you came from and leave the SWAT to the real big man Mr. Bones… Trent Jones.

[Duke is screaming back at Trent Jones when the Russian Assasin II slides in the ring and clobbers Duke Kosloff in the back.]

Jeremy Tucker: While you had him distracted the masked Russian Assassin II Was able to get the early jump on the match. The Russian Assassin has Duke Kosloff locked up and two big men are trying to get the upper hand.

Andrew Fulton: Duke is able to get the leverage and take the Masked Assassin to the ring. Duke Delivers a quick kick to the knee of the Masked Assassin and then a big elbow drop to the back.

[Duke Grabs the knee of Masked Assassin but he catches a quick kick from the other leg and sends Duke into the ropes.]

Trent Jones: It’s sad watching this match it’s like when you’re driving on the highway and you come upon the accident and you can’t but help watch because you want to see the shit show. But hey that big bastard just delivered a DDT so I guess that was ok.

Andrew Futon: You know I would give that a 7.

Jeremy Tucker: I would give that a 9, that was a big DDT.

Trent Jones: I have seen better wrestling moves at the middle school wrestling team at the school of the Special Needs Kids.

Andrew Fulton: Wow that’s a bad joke and I love it.

Jeremy Tucker: Duke Kosloff lifts up Russian Assassin II and Russian Assassin delivers a European Uppercut and then a kick to Duke’s Knee.

[The Russian Assassin II charges at Duke and drives his masked head into the gut of Duke. Duke goes down and instantly grabs his midsection.]

Jeremy Tucker: That was a hard blow and Duke Looks to be in trouble.

Trent Jones: To be honest if that has Duke in trouble he is soft.

[The Russian Assassin II hits a short arm clothesline. Huge Northern Lights suplex by he Russian Assassin II to Duke.]

[The Russian Assassin II delivers a big powerbomb, he covers Duke, 1 .... 2 .... Duke gets a shoulder up.]

[The Russian Assassin II with a big head butt.]

Andrew Fulton: Duke is back up but I have heard that mask has a steel plate inside of it.

[The two guys lock back up and they both start throwing punches. Duke first, then Masked Assassin and then Duke again.]

Jeremy Tucker: Back and forth the punches are going but now its Duke, Duke again with another big punch. The Russian Assassin II drops to his right knee and as he is going to stand back up he is hit with a big kick to the face.

Andrew Fulton: Duke just showed why he is a legend in the XHF.

Trent Jones: Well, to be honest, I am not impressed with him at all. But then again I have talent. Something Duke wishes he had.

Jeremy Tucker: You just watched Duke deliver yet another big move and yet you’re not impressed? Trent Jones you have very little wrestling talent you just know how to fight. Why are you Judging him so hard are you jealous?

Andrew Fulton: Trent you want me to move, I don’t want to get hit because of this idiot?

[Duke Kosloff charges at The Russian Assassin II and delivers a thunderous spear. The Russian Assassin II is laying with his head on the ropes facing up at the lights.]

Jeremy Tucker: A spear from the Russian Nightmare has left the Assassin hanging by a rope.

Trent Jones: I wish you was hanging from a rope.

Andrew Fulton: Duke needs to get up if he wants to take advantage of this match.

[Duke is slowly getting up. He is rubbing his right shoulder with his left hand and his right arm is just hanging. He moves towards the Assassin. Duke Drops his left Leg across the neck of the Assassin II. Duke uses his left arm and Drags the Russian Assassin II back to his feet.]

Andrew Fulton: This match is about over and Duke is going to put him away.

Jeremy Tucker: Duke is setting him up for the Monster Vice.

Trent Jones: This move is complete trash. The dude has a damn metal plate inside his mask Duke is trying to squeeze a plate.

Andrew Fulton: How do you know?

Trent Jones: Dude I fight in biker bars I know how to hide a weapon. Too bad this idiot doesn’t know what he is doing.

[Duke gives up on the Monster VIce. Duke grabs him by the throat and lifts him back to his feet. Duke then tossed him into the ropes and lift him onto his back as he slams him down.]

Trent Jones: Let’s guess that is a Monster flop?

Jeremy Tucker: Well close its a Monster Drop.

Andrew Fulton: I hope you’re not trying to take my job. Duke is going for the cover.

[Ref...1….2….3]

[Duke Stands up and raises his hand as his music starts to play. Trent Jones Stands up and tosses his headset. He grabs a microphone.]

Trent Jones: The winner of the who sucks the most match and now only the second suckiest wrestler in SWAT history is Duke Kosloff.

[Duke moves towards the ropes and starts screaming back Trent Jones. Trent Jones grabs Chair-E and he walks towards the back as he screams you’re not worth my time.]

Jeremy Tucker: Well Trent Jones is headed to the back so the show is back on track. Duke Kosloff had a very good first showing here in SWAT.

Andrew Fulton: Well Trent Jones is not making friends in here and I am sure he is happy with that.

[edwarddubin0604]

(The tron shows Psychotic Goth and Vampira on the screen their expressions cold, hard and frightening as they glare ominously.)

Vampira: "Tonight two members of Psychotic Goth's curse shall be stricken down and how appropriate it happens to the so-called SWAT hardcore Champion....Oh I'm so sorry Sluttylishus I meant your husbands Technical Title. So what is your single beautiful move going to be a clichéd suplex. A clichéd side headlock takedown. Oh please tell us in your porno promo."

Psychotic Goth: "Turner you didn't earn my SWAT Hardcore Title, but you go strutting around like a fucking peacock with my title like it's some adult movie award and soiling it. Tonight I'm going to make sure that you know who is the true champion and the more worthy of that title. However, since you decided to show real cowardice by having a mixed tag team match between myself and you along with my wife Vampira and your whore of a prostitute."

Vampira: "They say 'careful what you wish for you just might get it.' Tonight your bitch is about to get it and believe me Whorelishishus if you thought Canelli's symptoms were something bad. I'm going to make sure your fate is worse and the curse on your husband is going to get much, much and much worse. So don't think that you're going to break it just because you're facing me and my husband. It's not going to happen any time soon Turner."

(They laugh and Psychotic Goth yells in an ancient dialect.)

Psychotic Goth: "'Timeless' is your nickname but the curse I placed on KGB includes you too 'Timeless' and that means one thing. You are living on borrowed time Alex and even that's not going to last very long. The two of you shall face the ultimate in brutality. The two of you shall not be walking away from this mixed tag match in full health. We plan on decimating you and you won't be in the best condition. You shall be in worst shape than you were and even more embarrassed than you were when you faced Suzi Spitz and Radu Matei and lost."

(He laughs again and screams in an ancient dialect.)

Vampira: "So Bitchylishus why didn't you try to make out with Radu Matei. I'm sure he could have needed the love being he was such a tortured soul and you could have provided the most delicious sex but obviously Turner is too protective of your artificial life preservers you call breasts. The shame of it all to have wasted all that sex you save for your pimp Alex."

(She hisses like a vampire.)

Psychotic Goth: "Now you probably think because my wife hasn't stepped into a wrestling ring since Hardkore World but that won't matter will it.
That's going to be the best part being you don't know how unpredictable she is and that's going tp be trouble for you. Oh it's going to be true trouble for you both and it gets worse since I did curse you both. No amount of potions and no amount of charms will save you. That's right nothing shall save you now."

Vampira: "Absolutely nothing shall break the curse my husband Psyhcotic Goth shall save you."

Psychotic Goth: "It's too late for you and the rest of the KGB and New Society of the New Breed. We shall wrought our wrath upon you and take both your souls. Radu Matei. Your comments towards my mentor has also earned you my wrath and thus I shall also curse you too. The luck you have had against everyone shall come to an end. No amount of gauze shall save you against Parishu Jo or whatever he calls himself. Your mummy act shall not save you from my wrath if you survive. Beware to those I have warned. You shall suffer my wrath."

(He lowers his head and raises his arms and flings his head back revealing his pale handsome goth like looks as Vampira just raises her arms.)

Psychotic Goth: "Turner and Roxylishus blood shall pour in the ring and months of your big moutbh shall come to an end. You shall have your opportunity to back up your bragging or you shall fall to us. The choice is yours nd yours alone."

Vampira: "Make the right choice and hope for mercy which 'The Queen and King of the Gothic Vampire kingdoms shall not be after your antics. Payment shall be a bitch bit then again that's what you are Roxylishus and that goes for you too 'No Time Left' Alex Turner."

Psychotic Goth: "Thus we have spoken and thus we shall make this omen come true."

(The tron goes dark and the scene slowly fades to black.)

[Trent Jones MR Bones.]

Trent Jones is sitting in the same old biker bar somewhere up north. He is sitting at a table and next to him is the steel chair sitting on the wooden chair next to him. Trent face is healing up from his debut match in SWAT. The stack of empty beer bottles on the table says he has been there for a while. The few lights that are not burned out show this bar has sat empty for many years.

Trent Jones touches his face as he turns at looks at the metal chair, ”look I know my face looks bad, I don't need to have you reminding me that I failed.” Trent Jones looks at the chair as if he is listing. Trent's face turns red as he claimed his fist down on the table, ”look I said I don't need this shit. You can pack your bags and hit the damn road, I don't need this Chair-e.”

Trent Jones walked towards the old pool table with his beer and he sits it in the right corner pocket. He picks up a pool ball and he rolls it into the opposite corner pocket. He picks up the beer, ”man I miss the guys…” aren't turns back towards the door. ”sometimes it's almost like I can still hear you walking in the door.”

Trent walks over to the men's bathroom door and he knocks and waits to see if it's empty. Trent opens the door. While he is in the bathroom the cameraman shoots some more of the biker bar. A blanket is laying on the floor and a pillow that is extremely dirty lays on the ground. Next to is a duffel bag with a few t-shirts hanging out of it.

Trent walks out of the bathroom and looks at the camera guy, ”what the fuck you trying to steal my swag shirts?” the camera man can be heard saying no.

Trent walks back over to the table and he sits down. He puts a fresh beer in front of Chair-e and opens one for himself. ”you know some people say I made a big impact at SWAT and that I have a promising road ahead of me. Well, one thing I know is how to travel down the road.” Trent drinks from the beer and smiles, ”some of these assholes even cheered for me in this match. I told them I didn't come here for the fans and I still haven't come here for them.”

Trent Jones seems to sit and thinks for a moment before speaking more. “The problem is this place is full of fucking guys who think they can fight… but really it’s just a bunch of garbage that me Trent Jones is going to take out.” Trent sips his beer, “reality must be set in that the talent here knows that I am the biggest threat in this place.” Trent finishes the beer, “this week I get to have my first one on one match to show how bad this mother fucker is.”

******************
Trent Jones is riding his bike as a welcome to New York sign is seen. Trent Jones pulls over into a parking lot of a bar. He walks out and a few minutes later he walks out with a female and they climb up on his bike. The next few moments show them on the bike as they drive along with many parts of New York in the background. Trent Jones pulls into a hotel parking lot. They exit the bike as they head into the hotel. Trent Jones and the lady of the bar walk to the front desk.
The desk worker greets them as Trent pulls out his wallet. “I will take one room?” He seems annoyed that the worker isn’t moving faster. “Hello, do you think you can hurry up?”

“I am sorry sir, was trying to find a room for you and your wife” Trent starts to speak up but the worker drops more news, “We only have the suite room available and it will be $423 for the night.”

Trent just looks at the man, “How much for just an hour?” The worker and the bar skank both laugh thinking it a joke. “Fuck it we will take it...do you have a coupon code or something.”

*************
Trent Jones sits on the edge of the bed while the bar skank is sleeping in the bed with the blankets up. Trent is watching the XHF network and he sees, an advertisement about his next match and the debut of the network star Duke Kosloff. He stands up in his boxers and slides his jeans back on and grabs a black hoody and puts it on. He grabs his vest and puts it on over his hoody. He walks to the door and heads down to the lobby. He buys a couple of the beers out of the cooler. Trent has no idea they have a stocked fridge in his room lucky for him. He reaches the elevator and he steps in.

Two young women are in the elevator and the one is holding her smartphone up and pointing at Trent Jones. “It’s him I know it is” The other girl, “Are you sure?”. Trent smiles knowing they must recognize him as the new wrestling.

“Ladies it is me Trent Jones the wrestling star.”

“So you have my mom because she snap chatted a picture of you and her in bed and my dad is not happy?”

Trent Jones’s smile quickly changes, he didn’t know what a snap chat was. Hell he was just able to buy a cell phone this past week. He finally had some paper coming in and now he had some bar skank up in his room whos husband was angry. Her daughter and another girl are standing in the elevator room looking at him like he is a homewrecker. They ride up to the top floor and the three walk to the room. Trent opens the door and the two girls go into the room. Trent opens the first beer.

“Mom get up dad is downstairs and pissed off”

“Molly please get up your husband is pissed off.”

Trent sits in a chair drinking the beer, “so her name was Molly, I guess I should have asked her name maybe before taking her to pound town”

“Mom dad says he about to destroy his bike if you dont come down.”

Trent heard the words and was out of the room in seconds.

*********************
A smaller man is outside and standing near Trent Jones’s bike. He is on the phone, “Tell your Mother I am going to knock this bike over I am not playing.” The man puts his hand on the bike. Just as he starts to push it over he is hit in the face with a huge right hand. The man stumbles down to the ground.

Trent picks him up by the throat as the two young ladies and their mom coming running into the scene. They are screaming for Trent to let him go. Trent is not responding he just keeps choking the man. The man is out cold. “Touching my bike is way worse than me touching your wife.” Trent tosses him to the ground and he turns to the women, “Molly I had no idea you were married but let’s face it I wouldn’t have cared either way. But next time you decided to fuck a star make sure you keep it private.”

Molly’s daughter walks towards him, “So your famous?”

Trent Jones, “well I get paid to kick people’s ass and fans chant my name, Trent Jones… MR. Bones.” Trent reaches out and touches her arm, “It’s too bad I didn’t meet you, you would have been way more fun.”

Trent walks away with dirty thoughts on his mind. But he knows he needs to focus on this next match. He wants to make sure Tuxedo Mask is the next example of what happens when you cross the path of Trent Jones. He reaches the door and heads back in. Once back in the room he grabs his second beer and he jumps on the bed.

“Tuxedo Mask has to be one of the dumbest names ever, that is almost as bad as being called Duke Kosoloff or Russian Assassin II. LIke where does SWAT find these people? I almost want to question how my agent got me this job. It seems odd, I shit on the talent and on the fans yet so many of them cheered me on and seem to love me.”

***********************
Trent walks into the SWAT arena backstage area. The staff is looking at him after all the violence at the last show. Trent Doesn’t seem to notice as he walks out again towards the ring. He looks around the arena as he really thinks about what he needs to do. Trent black hoody is still on and it says Killin It on the front and Mr Bones on the back. He also is holding his vest.

Trent looks at the ring, “I am the second match of the night in a night where Sally Spunk the champion takes on Tony the Tiger. How the hell does some man seed catcher become champion… the answer is simple this place is full of trash. I said it before but let me say it once more I have plenty of trash to take out. I hate this roster its an embarrassment to even be associated with this place. I truly belong sitting at the top of this place with the stupid title and all the glory as the rest of this place bows down to my feet.”

Trent grabs his chew and he put a large pinch in his lip. he puts his vest on and he walks over to one of the ring steps and he walks into the ring. Once in the ring, he sits in the corner and just takes it all in. “Home… something I never really had and something I never wanted. Thanksgiving is a place where we are supposed to be thankful for what we have. Well let’s face it I have my bike, the bar and memories are all that I have. I won’t be receiving any invites for the holiday from anyone here. Not the pee wee looking guy, not the security team, not the announcers and not this embarrassing roster. Can you picture what Suit Man or was it cumberbund ninja would say if i was sitting at his table? Duke is a fucking Russian idiot just like his opponent they dont know what thanksgiving is anyways. We know what Seed Spitter is going to be putting on a very big sausage party.”

Trent Lays his head back and looks up, “To be honest I hate this place, I can’t stand the trash that is here and that this trash gets a bigger push than me. I am not only the best in SWAT I am the best in all of the network.”

Trent Heads to the back and rolls out of the ring, he reaches for his phone as it rings. “Hello who is this” he pauses to listen, “I don’t know a Molly”.

Through the phone, you hear, “You just fucked her… you fucked my mom and beat up my dad.”

Trent stops and thinks, “Oh that’s right that was her name. So how is your dad?” after a long pause… “Yeah sure I can get you and your friend in I will meet you in the parking lot in 10 minutes.” Trent Jones has a sick smile on his face as he hangs up.

***************
Trent Jones is seen walking in the back with the two girls as they reach his locker room. They go inside. Trent quickly tries to impress them both, “Ladies You can hang for a while but then I have to get ready for my next title match” a quick lie but he wants to impress the girls.

Molly’s daughter touches his arm and she seems to be taking this all in. She seems star-struck and soon her friend joins her.

Trent Jones has a huge smile on his face. “Ladies if we are going to do this we need to hurry I have to be part of the show opening as well.”

The cameraman walks out and then the scene skips ahead to Trent Jones walking out with Chair-E as he heads towards the entrance area as the show intro music starts. He stops and tells security something. “Two crazy fans snuck past you guys and ended up in my locker room. Please get them out of here.”

Trent smiles as his entrance music starts…

[Deleted]

( As highway to hell plays by ACDC and Hells Bouncer heads to the rampway of the arena and with a sad look )

HB- Radu I am not wrestling you upcoming as I have an announcement to make.

It with sad thoughts and feelings. That In character I Hells Bouncer and crew will be retiring from in ring competition. I am sorry for this issue to arise. As of today 11/30/2019 I officially retire from SWAT and Wrestling here.

OOC- Hi my name is Thomas and I am sorry RADU for this. But i have been having serious medical issues that on few occasions i have fell walking trying to lose weight then I just gave up thinking my body done and I gained 40 pounds in 4 weeks or so. My insulin is causing me chest pains and just my health overall is not great.

My 18 yo daughter is concerned and outide SWAT I do surveys to make money because i cant stand long working and i have not been hired to do sit down customer service, so i do surveys here. Suzi I know I wanted 1 chance against you. But i know you will make a great champion..

for frostbite and goth and Paul Soutter, I hope i can still be friends with you all and this dont cause problems but this is a time I can handle and my 5 yr old came to me and said Daddy you cant never die, I need you. So i been spending lot of time online and need to be more family oriented and if push comes to shove ill try to get better to come back. I know all i have to do is sit and write. Im just not feeling so well anymore.

Thank You SWAT and tear the roof down in this company. See you all soon

[Trent Jones MR Bones.]

Trent Jones is sitting in the same old biker bar somewhere up north. He is sitting at a table and next to him is the steel chair sitting on the wooden chair next to him. Trent face is healing up from his debut match in SWAT. The stack of empty beer bottles on the table says he has been there for a while. The few lights that are not burned out show this bar has sat empty for many years.

Trent Jones touches his face as he turns at looks at the metal chair, ”look I know my face looks bad, I don't need to have you reminding me that I failed.” Trent Jones looks at the chair as if he is listing. Trent's face turns red as he claimed his fist down on the table, ”look I said I don't need this shit. You can pack your bags and hit the damn road, I don't need this Chair-e.”

Trent Jones walked towards the old pool table with his beer and he sits it in the right corner pocket. He picks up a pool ball and he rolls it into the opposite corner pocket. He picks up the beer, ”man I miss the guys…” aren't turns back towards the door. ”sometimes it's almost like I can still hear you walking in the door.”

Trent walks over to the men's bathroom door and he knocks and waits to see if it's empty. Trent opens the door. While he is in the bathroom the cameraman shoots some more of the biker bar. A blanket is laying on the floor and a pillow that is extremely dirty lays on the ground. Next to is a duffel bag with a few t-shirts hanging out of it.

Trent walks out of the bathroom and looks at the camera guy, ”what the fuck you trying to steal my swag shirts?” the camera man can be heard saying no.

Trent walks back over to the table and he sits down. He puts a fresh beer in front of Chair-e and opens one for himself. ”you know some people say I made a big impact at SWAT and that I have a promising road ahead of me. Well, one thing I know is how to travel down the road.” Trent drinks from the beer and smiles, ”some of these assholes even cheered for me in this match. I told them I didn't come here for the fans and I still haven't come here for them.”

Trent Jones seems to sit and thinks for a moment before speaking more. “The problem is this place is full of fucking guys who think they can fight… but really it’s just a bunch of garbage that me Trent Jones is going to take out.” Trent sips his beer, “reality must be set in that the talent here knows that I am the biggest threat in this place.” Trent finishes the beer, “this week I get to have my first one on one match to show how bad this mother fucker is.”

******************
Trent Jones is riding his bike as a welcome to New York sign is seen. Trent Jones pulls over into a parking lot of a bar. He walks out and a few minutes later he walks out with a female and they climb up on his bike. The next few moments show them on the bike as they drive along with many parts of New York in the background. Trent Jones pulls into a hotel parking lot. They exit the bike as they head into the hotel. Trent Jones and the lady of the bar walk to the front desk.
The desk worker greets them as Trent pulls out his wallet. “I will take one room?” He seems annoyed that the worker isn’t moving faster. “Hello, do you think you can hurry up?”

“I am sorry sir, was trying to find a room for you and your wife” Trent starts to speak up but the worker drops more news, “We only have the suite room available and it will be $423 for the night.”

Trent just looks at the man, “How much for just an hour?” The worker and the bar skank both laugh thinking it a joke. “Fuck it we will take it...do you have a coupon code or something.”

*************
Trent Jones sits on the edge of the bed while the bar skank is sleeping in the bed with the blankets up. Trent is watching the XHF network and he sees, an advertisement about his next match and the debut of the network star Duke Kosloff. He stands up in his boxers and slides his jeans back on and grabs a black hoody and puts it on. He grabs his vest and puts it on over his hoody. He walks to the door and heads down to the lobby. He buys a couple of the beers out of the cooler. Trent has no idea they have a stocked fridge in his room lucky for him. He reaches the elevator and he steps in.

Two young women are in the elevator and the one is holding her smartphone up and pointing at Trent Jones. “It’s him I know it is” The other girl, “Are you sure?”. Trent smiles knowing they must recognize him as the new wrestling.

“Ladies it is me Trent Jones the wrestling star.”

“So you have my mom because she snap chatted a picture of you and her in bed and my dad is not happy?”

Trent Jones’s smile quickly changes, he didn’t know what a snap chat was. Hell he was just able to buy a cell phone this past week. He finally had some paper coming in and now he had some bar skank up in his room whos husband was angry. Her daughter and another girl are standing in the elevator room looking at him like he is a homewrecker. They ride up to the top floor and the three walk to the room. Trent opens the door and the two girls go into the room. Trent opens the first beer.

“Mom get up dad is downstairs and pissed off”

“Molly please get up your husband is pissed off.”

Trent sits in a chair drinking the beer, “so her name was Molly, I guess I should have asked her name maybe before taking her to pound town”

“Mom dad says he about to destroy his bike if you dont come down.”

Trent heard the words and was out of the room in seconds.

*********************
A smaller man is outside and standing near Trent Jones’s bike. He is on the phone, “Tell your Mother I am going to knock this bike over I am not playing.” The man puts his hand on the bike. Just as he starts to push it over he is hit in the face with a huge right hand. The man stumbles down to the ground.

Trent picks him up by the throat as the two young ladies and their mom coming running into the scene. They are screaming for Trent to let him go. Trent is not responding he just keeps choking the man. The man is out cold. “Touching my bike is way worse than me touching your wife.” Trent tosses him to the ground and he turns to the women, “Molly I had no idea you were married but let’s face it I wouldn’t have cared either way. But next time you decided to fuck a star make sure you keep it private.”

Molly’s daughter walks towards him, “So your famous?”

Trent Jones, “well I get paid to kick people’s ass and fans chant my name, Trent Jones… MR. Bones.” Trent reaches out and touches her arm, “It’s too bad I didn’t meet you, you would have been way more fun.”

Trent walks away with dirty thoughts on his mind. But he knows he needs to focus on this next match. He wants to make sure Tuxedo Mask is the next example of what happens when you cross the path of Trent Jones. He reaches the door and heads back in. Once back in the room he grabs his second beer and he jumps on the bed.

“Tuxedo Mask has to be one of the dumbest names ever, that is almost as bad as being called Duke Kosoloff or Russian Assassin II. LIke where does SWAT find these people? I almost want to question how my agent got me this job. It seems odd, I shit on the talent and on the fans yet so many of them cheered me on and seem to love me.”

***********************
Trent walks into the SWAT arena backstage area. The staff is looking at him after all the violence at the last show. Trent Doesn’t seem to notice as he walks out again towards the ring. He looks around the arena as he really thinks about what he needs to do. Trent black hoody is still on and it says Killin It on the front and Mr Bones on the back. He also is holding his vest.

Trent looks at the ring, “I am the second match of the night in a night where Sally Spunk the champion takes on Tony the Tiger. How the hell does some man seed catcher become champion… the answer is simple this place is full of trash. I said it before but let me say it once more I have plenty of trash to take out. I hate this roster its an embarrassment to even be associated with this place. I truly belong sitting at the top of this place with the stupid title and all the glory as the rest of this place bows down to my feet.”

Trent grabs his chew and he put a large pinch in his lip. he puts his vest on and he walks over to one of the ring steps and he walks into the ring. Once in the ring, he sits in the corner and just takes it all in. “Home… something I never really had and something I never wanted. Thanksgiving is a place where we are supposed to be thankful for what we have. Well let’s face it I have my bike, the bar and memories are all that I have. I won’t be receiving any invites for the holiday from anyone here. Not the pee wee looking guy, not the security team, not the announcers and not this embarrassing roster. Can you picture what Suit Man or was it cumberbund ninja would say if i was sitting at his table? Duke is a fucking Russian idiot just like his opponent they dont know what thanksgiving is anyways. We know what Seed Spitter is going to be putting on a very big sausage party.”

Trent Lays his head back and looks up, “To be honest I hate this place, I can’t stand the trash that is here and that this trash gets a bigger push than me. I am not only the best in SWAT I am the best in all of the network.”

Trent Heads to the back and rolls out of the ring, he reaches for his phone as it rings. “Hello who is this” he pauses to listen, “I don’t know a Molly”.

Through the phone, you hear, “You just fucked her… you fucked my mom and beat up my dad.”

Trent stops and thinks, “Oh that’s right that was her name. So how is your dad?” after a long pause… “Yeah sure I can get you and your friend in I will meet you in the parking lot in 10 minutes.” Trent Jones has a sick smile on his face as he hangs up.

***************
Trent Jones is seen walking in the back with the two girls as they reach his locker room. They go inside. Trent quickly tries to impress them both, “Ladies You can hang for a while but then I have to get ready for my next title match” a quick lie but he wants to impress the girls.

Molly’s daughter touches his arm and she seems to be taking this all in. She seems star-struck and soon her friend joins her.

Trent Jones has a huge smile on his face. “Ladies if we are going to do this we need to hurry I have to be part of the show opening as well.”

The cameraman walks out and then the scene skips ahead to Trent Jones walking out with Chair-E as he heads towards the entrance area as the show intro music starts. He stops and tells security something. “Two crazy fans snuck past you guys and ended up in my locker room. Please get them out of here.”

Trent smiles as his entrance music starts…

[𝓓𝓾𝓴𝓮 𝓚𝓸𝓼𝓵𝓸𝓯𝓯]

The tron lights up as a previously recorded interview with "The Russian Nightmare" Duke Kosloff begins to play. The fans in attendance all fall under a silence as they listen.

Warren Webber
Welcome Duke, just a few questions as you are scheduled to make your in-ring debut tonight. SWAT is a huge company a very well known company and has some of the toughest competition out there so why exactly did you come here to SWAT?

"The Russian Nightmare"
I'm not answering these crap questions again, so tell you what you just sit there and listen to what I have to say. Tonight, I face a fellow Russian, a comrade at arms, as I face the masked Russian Assassin II. But don't think for a minute because are blood leads us to the motherland that I will not make you "Believe in the Nightmares" as you "FEEL THE BURN"!!!

Warren Webber sits there staring at the 7'4" monster as he speaks with such a calm collective voice, it sends shivers down his spine and the fans as they hear it.

"The Russian Nightmare"
You see, I may have been created in Russia, I may have started my origin story there but Russia only began what you see now. As the Asylum Islands have brought the nightmares to life, the Asylum Islands have, harness the power from within as I claimed the AIW Championship from them before I took them down, before I claimed my rightful spot upon the throne of bones and sent everyone else away. Now AIW is no more and Asylum Islands is nothing more than my own personal Devils playground.

As the tron plays the video the lights throughout the arena start to flash as smoke and fire fill the arena as Duke Kosloff continues to speak the fans start becoming a bit afraid of what's about to happen.

"The Russian Nightmare"
Now, I have come here to SWAT, yeah a place that no one else from the XHF Network has ever dared to tread, I plan on doing what I do best and that's take, what I want when I want and when I am done I will leave SWAT nothing more than a burned-out desolate dried-out wasteland with no one left standing but me. The masked Russian Assassin II tonight he will find out exactly why I am Russia's greatest accomplishment, and the worlds biggest fear and that I am no ordinary man, I am not a God, nor am I a Demon, a Vampire, or a Family Man, the masked Russian Assassin II and SWAT I am your worst NIGHTMARE!!

The screen fades to black as the lights go out, the crowd is left in silence...

[frostbite]

CRASH.......

CRASH.....

A loud noise can be heard throughout the backstage area. Some of the backstage hands who are getting into the Christmas spirit. One young black haired lady wearing an elf outfit but those black curved boots must be hurting her feet as she is running away from the loud noise in fear of her life. We see a brown haired boy running around backstage wearing a red shirt with the picture of Santa Claus on the front of it, he is trying his best to hold up his black slacks with his two small hands but they appear to just about fall to the floor..

Little boy.. MOMMY... WHERE ARE YOU...

The little boy continues to shout, as he is running at top speed but still trying to keep up his pants, but in the process he loses a brown shoe, he puts on the brakes as he tries to go back and grab it.

CRASH...

CRASH...

There is that noise once again as the little boy looks up with fear in his brown eyes as he just leaves the show behind. Our camera crew tries to find where the house is coming from, as they are moving through the backstage hands who are running for their lives. Still looking for where the noise could be coming from, they keep moving right along until they come upon the men locker room. They slowly push open the door and we see every locker in that room ad been pushed to the floor.

Jeremy Tucker.. What in the hell could have done That?

Andrew Fulton.. I guess that would explain the noise was coming from, but it does not explain where the person who did this is at.

Our focus switches to a huge buffet table that has been sit up in the back as we see a rather large spread.. Fruit and vegetable trays, even a meat and cheese tray, some pie and cake as well. We see a man dressed in a Santa Claus suit grabbing himself a paper plate and loading it up.

Andrew Fulton.. Hey, can I get somebody to run back their and get me a plate before that fat guy eats everything.

Jeremy Tucker.. That fat guy is Santa, you know right. I bet you were on the naughty list this year.

As Santa continue to pile food on his plate, the young lady who was dressed in the elf outfit gets to the table as she grabs herself a plate. Santa is checking her out as the young lady makes eye contact with old saint Nick.

Andrew Fulton.. Santa is trying to hit on that backstage hand.. What would Mrs. Claus think of this. He must not be getting enough at the North Pole.

Jeremy Tucker.. You are certainly not getting anything this year.

The young lady and Santa start to strike up a conversation.

Santa.. What was all that noise earlier.

The young lady shrugs her shoulders ad the two continue to talk.

Andrew Fulton.. I did not know Santa had game.

Jeremy Tucker.. You are really not getting anything for Christmas this year.

The young lady stops talking as her green eyes get wide ad she backs away from the table. Santa looks surprised but he feels someone is right over his shoulder or should I say both shoulders. He slowly turns around as he sees two rather large men. One had short brown hair with a matching goatee, he has on a brown tee shirt with gray sweats and brown boots. The gentleman right next to him is wearing a black tee shirt with fading black jeans and black steel toe boots. The man is stroking his black goatee as he is certainly giving Santa the evil eye with that look in his glowing red eyes. Ad the two men stare down Santa. We see that it is D9omsday and Lucifer.

Doomsday.. I feel so much better pushing all those lockers over.

Lucifer.. I told you, it gets things off of your chest. But I have worked up an appetite.

The two stare down Santa who had his plate full.

Doomsday.. Hey fat man did you leave any for us?

Lucifer.. I certainly hope you did.

Santa.. Gentlemen there is plenty to go around. But I must ask?

Doomsday.. What must you asked Santa.

Santa.. What is with all the loud noise earlier? I had a little boy on my lap as he was telling me what he wanted for Christmas and after you tossed over the locker room, the young boy jumped off of my lap and ran away. That was rather mean.

Doomsday.. We are mean?

Santa.. Yes, that was right mean.

Lucifer.. Listen fat man, my partner and I are not on the Christmas spirit we have a match to ready for. We have a shot and becoming the tag team champs tonight. We are focus, so we do not need to hear your bitchimg about some little boy jumping out of your lap because he could not give you a list of what we wanted for Christmas.

Doomsday.. Since you are Santa.. Maybe we could give us a Christmas wish.

Santa.. What would the two of you like.

Lucifer.. We want those tag team titles, fat man can you pull that off for us.

Santa.. Well son, that might be a tall order.

Doomsday.. Wait, a minute. You are Santa, and you are suppose to grant people's wishes. Well why can you not make this one come true.

Santa., Well..

Lucifer cuts him off..

Lucifer.. You are a false prophet. I never understand this Christmas racket anyway. Have some fat guy dress up and get kids to tell them what they want for Christmas and then do not deliver.

Doomsday.. That is not very nice. I bet that little boy we chased away earlier told you want you wanted and you probably will not deliver.

Santa.. Guys come, I am not the real Santa.

Lucifer.. I stop believing in him when I was like 5 or 6.

Doomsday.. I was around that same age.

Santa.. You should not say that on television.. They are young children out there that believe.

Lucifer.. You cares what you are the kids believe. Listen fat man, maybe you can grant Team Fairtex a Christmas wish because they are going to need one.

Doomsday.. Help them survive somehow. Because they are going to need a shoulder to cry on after we take their tag team titkes tonight. You are going to get the wrestling world to sit up and take notice that we are back in the game and we are the best damn team in the business,

Lucifer.. What about that fat man? Those boys are going to need your help more so than we will.

Doomsday.. Hold up big man. What about their ladies and the rest of the KGB, they are a problem.

Lucifer.. Yes, you are right.. But it is a small problem that we can overcome. Tonight, the KGB will fall and we are going to put a huge size dent in their plans.

The two look at each other and then right at Santa.

Santa.. Well, I wish you the best of luck. But I do not know if I can really help you.

The two look at each other again, and then grab Santa by his thick neck and chokeslam him right through the table as it splits in half and as the table caves in, all the food falls on top of Santa.

Doomsday.. Merry Christmas fat man.

Lucifer.. We do not need you because those titles are coming to the fucking crew.

Doomsday.. So you still trying to push that name.

The two walk away as people are rushing to check on Santa.

Jeremy Tucker.. Satan Disciples are completely focus on the task at hand.

Andrew Fulton.. I still can not believe what did to Santa. And you say I will not get anything for Christmas this year.

Jeremy Tucker.. It should be a great match between the two teams.

Andrew Fulton.. Team Fairtex will remain champs and the KGB will continue to reign here in SWAT.

[Vince Franklin]

Jeremy Tucker: OK fans, coming up next we have-
Andrew Fulton: Wait a second, what is this?
[The curtain parts and DRAMA burst through, dragging a dolly with a trunk on top of it.]
Jeremy Tucker: DRAMA!
Andrew Fulton: We haven’t seen him since he and Miss Violet kidnapped Buster Friendly!
Jeremy Tucker: What do you think he has in the trunk?
Andrew Fulton: I don’t know, but I am sure we will find out.
[DRAMA goes over to the ring announcer and grabs a microphone.]
DRAMA: I tried. I really did. I tried to do this the easy way. But Buster wouldn’t play nice. So now, we do this the hard way.
[DRAMA opens the trunk and reaches inside, pulling out the limp body of Buster Friendly.]
Jeremy Tucker: My God, he has had Buster Friendly captive for a week!
Andrew Fulton: Where are the police?
[DRAMA drags Buster up the steps and hurls him into the ring. Buster, his hands cuffed behind his back, is barely moving. DRAMA undoes the cuffs and readjusts them so that Buster is handcuffed to the ropes.]
DRAMA: I tried to bring out Beelzebozo with words. I tried to bring out Beelzebozo with violence. I tried everything I could think of, but you insist on keeping me from what I want. Well, I told you one way or another, I would get the demon to come out of you. I didn’t want to do this, Buster. I really didn’t. But you leave me no choice.
Jeremy Tucker: What is DRAMA talking about?
Andrew Fulton: Buster Friendly, who finally put his personal demons behind him and killed the Beelzebozoz persona, has been the object of DRAMA’s obsession for months.
Jeremy Tucker: I have a feeling this is about to get very bad.
Andrew Fulton: Somebody needs to stop this!
[DRAMA walks back to the trunk he had dragged to the ring and reaches inside, pulling out a flask. He goes back into the ring and grabs Buster by the hair.]
DRAMA: Just remember, Buster… YOU MADE ME DO THIS!
Buster: No…..please….
[DRAMA pries Buster’s mouth open and shoves the flask in, pouring whiskey down his throat.]
Jeremy Tucker: NO! Buster worked so hard to get sober!
Andrew Fulton: DRAMA forcing Buster to drink whiskey!
[DRAMA holds up the empty flask and then brings it crashing down on Buster’s head. Buster hangs limp against the ropes, whiskey dripping down the front of his body, as security rushes the ring.]
Jeremy Tucker: DRAMA just forced Buster to drink for the first time in months. He has been trying to bring out Beelzebozo, and if anything will do it, it’s this.
Andrew Fulton: All I can tell DRAMA is this…you asked for this….and you know what they say about being careful what you wish for. We will be right back!

[edwarddubin0604]

(Team Fairtex is in their locker room putting on their KGB hoodies as they talk strategy as they also watched Doomsday's and Lucifer's promo with Santa. The door to their locker room opens and Glamourous Glenda enters the room.)

Tong Fairtex: "Glenda what can we do for you."

Glamourous Glenda: "Everyone's wondering what your thoughts are about your opponents Doomsday and Lucifer."

Tong Fairtex: "Glad you asked since we just saw their joke of a promo. We aren't going to beat around the bush about them or underestimate them when it comes to them. When we won these tag team titles we made a vow to defend these titles against anyone and we've been proving it time after time."

Phantam Fairtex: "Just like our run in the old XPW and we kept our promise and vowed to do and we plan on doing it again in SWAT."

Glamourous Glenda: "During Hardkore Helloween you and Doomsday were staring each other down and actually went at it hard and weren't giving any quarter. Is this a preview of your tag team title match tonight."

Phantam Fairtex: "Maybe or maybe not. You see if you think I was going to back down from a seven foot plus guy just because he and his tag team partner are part of Frostbite's thugs. Well you're wrong and shall be wrong."

Tong Fairtex: "Our father never backed down from an opponent nor did he turn down a match. He didn't care about the size of the opponent's height as long as the opponent or in this case opponents are there on the other side of the ring."

Glamourous Glenda: "You probably saw what happened to Santa Claus a bit earlier when he encountered Doomsday and Lucifer."

Tong Fairtex: "Yeah we saw what happened and frankly speaking what these two brutes did was exactly what we expected from thugs like them. Well when it's time to step into the ring for our SWAT World Tag Team Titles. You guys are going to be the ones wishing for something other than being tag team champions when we beat you decisively in the middle of the ring....One....Two....Three."

Phantam Fairtex: "You see what happened in Hardkore Helloween was kind of a preview of the beat down we plan on doing to them and prove we're real champions compared to others in the past and you know who they are don't you."

Glamorous Glenda: "You mean The new Society of the New Breed."

Phantam Fairtex: "Bingo. Right on target and the money Glamourous Glenda. When it came to them it was the same old senior citizens doing the same old shit. Well it's time for the real talent and the stars of the future and that's Team Fairtex aka 'The Team of the Future.'"

Tong fairtex: "That's right 'The Bangkok Hitman.'"

Phantam Fairtex: "And 'The Handsomenest in SWAT.'"

Tong Fairtex: "We represent the future and we represent SWAT'tag team division and we also represent the excellence that SWAT is when it comes to tag team wrestling. It also shows how strong KGB is compared to some of the garbage who call themselves tag teams. Think about this Glenda. Whre's some of the so called great tag teams now. Where's CCS."

Phantam Fairtex: "GONE!"

Tong Fairtex: "What happened to Paul Blair and his guys."

Phantam Fairtex: "RAN AWAY AND CHICKENED OUT WITH THEIR TALES TUCKED BETWEEN THEIR LEGS!"

Tong Fairtex: "The exception to this rule is Hells Bouncer and his group being he had the guts to retire along with his friends. That took guts and that's what we respect him for. At least he was tough when it came to competing against us in the ring."

Phantam Fairtex: "Compared to certain others."

Glamourous Glenda: "That took a lot to admit to."

Tong faiertex: "Yeah compared to Ratu Matei which I still plan on getting revenge on. Maybe when he fces Jo Parishnu or whoever he is calling himself. I hope he truly beats your ass and gets rid of you once and for all."

Glamourous Glenda: "what do you think of what Vampira said about allegedly being merciful to you. She warned when Psychotic Goth paced the curse on both KGB and New Society of the New Breed would suffer for screwing him over. What did he mean by that."

Tong Fairtex: "That's Psychotic Goth being cryptic as usual. Let me tell you something when it comes to Psychotic Goth he's quite unpredictable and he'll do anything to get even with whoever screwed him ovder and that means KGB ad New Society of the New Breed. I wouldn't be surprised if he cursed that piece of walking dead garbage Radu Matei for screwing him at Hardkore Helloween."

Glamourous Glenda: "One last thing do you think you can defeat Doomsday and Lucifer."

Tong Fairtex: "Do you thnk we can defeat them. Of course we can since they think they have the brawn and brute force to defeat us. They can think they can throw us around like unused rag dolls that were unwanted by spoiled little brats who didn't get hat they wanted from Santa. Yeah Doomsday and Lucifer we're telling you what you are after that stunt with Santa Claus. Well these elves are going to beat you and retain our SWAT World Tag Team Championships."


Phantsm Fairtex: "Oh do continue to tell bruh."

Tong Fairtex: "You see we have something you don't have and that's brains. You know what that is Doomsday. You know what that is Lucifer. That's something that's between your empty skull that's supposed to make you intelligent. Apparently you two need to share a brain just to think hard and come up with something half intelligent. Come to think of it they probably can't even do that without sounding like dumb idiots."

Glamourous Glenda: "One last thing. Will you be trying to do what Psychotic Goth is trying to do and go for bigger and better things."

Tong Fairtrex: "If and when we do we plan on doing it on our own time and in our own way. When we do we're going to make an impact so big thast SWAT will get the notoriety we deserve. There's no way no one can stop us. We're the excellence of tag team wrestling in SWAT and if nyone including those two muscle heads can't grasp that. Then they and anyone else aren't excellent. Right now we have some business to attend to and we're going to do it. We're out of here."

Phantam Fairtex: "Let's do this bro."

(They leave the locker room.)

Glamourous Glenda: "Well Team Fairtex seems to have something big in mind. Back to you guys."

(The scene slowly fades to black.)

[Jonnie Valentine]

Courtesy of TUXBANG! productions


[The Society of the New Breed walk into an animal shelter while Tuxedo Mask is filming them on his phone]


Tuxedo Mask: Hello everyone and welcome to another edition of TuxBang! Today we are once again in the local animal shelter. As you know, this is usually where we do my controversial segment where I adopt a rescue pet and then we play "Heart or Walmart?" To new subscribers, this is the game where if a certain rescue animal doesn't get enough hearts, we abandon him at a Walmart. But today we are here for a totally different reason. 


["Very Relatable" Jonnie Valentine walks to the front and rings the bell]


Animal Control Officer: Can I help you, sir?


"Very Relatable" Jonnie Valentine: Gee, I sure hope so... 


[Marty Donovan steps in front of Jonnie]


Marty Donovan: Yes, my friend would like to buy a rottweiler please. Preferably one who has been in a dog fighting circuit with an insatiable meth habit. 


"Very Relatable" Jonnie Valentine: Um, no...we're actually having a problem with a dog where I work and I guess I'm the volunteer to come down and see if you could help us put him down. 


Animal Control Officer: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Let me ask you some questions so we can head out there and see what we can do. How old is the dog?


Jonnie Valentine: God, I couldn't venture a guess. But he seems like he would have gone to a Rush concert. 


Animal Control Officer: ...OK. Approximate weight?


Jonnie Valentine: 400 pounds, I think?


110% Syberus: (agreeing) At least.  


Animal Control Officer: (whistles) Wow. That big, huh? (to Kilroy) Sir? Sir? 


Kilroy Evans: (mouth full) Yes?


Animal Control Officer: Those are dog treats. 


Kilroy Evans: I see. 


Animal Control Officer: Do you know where he came from?


Jonnie Valentine: Melbourne. 


Animal Control Officer: (writing it down) "Mel-...bourne." Has the dog been barking, gnashing it's teeth, making excessive eye contact?


Jonnie Valentine: All those things. 


Animal Control Officer: Oh jeez. 


The Russian Assassin II: The American judicial system is such a travesty that some law enforcement officials are forced to partner with dogs to solve murders. Do you have such dogs?


Animal Control Officer: Um, no? (to Jonnie) Have you noticed any excessive salivating? 


Jonnie Valentine: Yes. Especially in catering. 


Animal Control Officer: Mr. Valentine. This is a person. Is it not?


Jonnie Valentine: It is. 


Animal Control Officer: I will be unable to help you I'm afraid.


Jonnie Valentine: Oh great, the one time I need the assistance of the government besides the clean drinking water, highways, healthy food, and school system, and you give me the cold shoulder? I've got the Mad Dog of Melbourne in a dog collar match. This isn't supposed to be my job to put down a mad dog, It's supposed to be yours (reads his name tag) "Jordy"! And yet here I am, saving the World, once again. Hand over your badge, Jordy. There's a new dog catcher in town. 


Animal Control Officer: Fine. Budget cuts have me coming in only on Tuesdays and Fridays from 9am to noon. 


Jonnie Valentine: Oh...well, that was more of a wrestling threat then an actual offer...


Animal Control Officer: You can keep your lunches in the shared fridge, but you have to mark it or Tanya eats it. 


[Kilroy is already in the fridge, finishing off some Boston Market]


Kilroy Evans: (mouth full) She sounds horrible!


Animal Control Officer: She is. See ya!


[Jordy leaves and The Society of the New Breed look at one another awkwardly]


Jonnie Valentine: Well...that didn't go where I thought it would. 


Tuxedo Mask: You thought he would euthanize a pro wrestler?


Jonnie Valentine: With every fiber of my being. Huh. Alright gang, My personal chef is making McDonalds, let's go home. 


110% Syberus: I keep telling you, I think that bloke is just getting take away at the drive thru.  


[Everyone gets up to leave, but Kilroy stays]


Jonnie Valentine: Kilroy?


Kilroy Evans: I think I'm gonna stay.


Jonnie Valentine: What? 


Kilroy Evans: Yeah, me and Marty were talking and after Helloween, I need to heal up a little and get off the road. Working here sounds like a nice change of pace. I love animals, and these cookies. 


Tuxedo Mask: They're still dog biscuits. 


Kilroy Evans: (yelling) I can't hear you over the crunchiness! 


Jonnie Valentine: Well, OK. We're gonna miss you. 


The Russian Assassin II: Da. Don't you, forget about me. Like slacker who was burned by cigarettes by father when he foolishly spilled paint in the garage. 


Kilroy Evans: I won't.


[Animal Control Officer Tanya steps in and scowls at Kilroy with a surly sneer]


Tanya: Cat boxes need cleaning!


Kilroy Evans: Well, duty calls!


Jonnie Valentine: See you down the road. 


[The rest of The Society of the New Breed leave, and then the slam of a refrigerator door is heard]


Tanya: WHERE'S MY BOSTON MARKET!?!?


Kilroy Evans: Mother of god...


[Kilroy hides in a dog kennel as Tanya storms past]

[SWAT Team]

[The star on the door reads "Joe Pesci" - with the camera pushing through to find the SWAT owner in his makeshift office watching Taebo videos in an effort to achieve peak fighting form before the end.  Billy Blanks don't fail me now!  Hearing the movement behind him, Parishu Jo swings around with his trusty Walther PPK!  Just a videographer.  Breathing a sigh of relief, uses the gun - which is actually a lighter, to fire up a cigar.  Taking a long drag, Jo sneers at Blanks mocking image.]

Parishu Jo: Ongaku ni chokumen suru kagetsu...

LEFT Tentacle: What music, Joe?

[Scared of his own shadow, Parishu Jo has brought in the toughest person he knows.  Who will return his calls, because the idiot thinks they're friends.  Also, he DEFINITELY doesn't have ties to SWAT Dixie.  That's kind of important right now.  The former SWAT Backyard owner sits on the couch in his giant felt tentacle costume, chowing down on some chicken chow mien he found in the fridge.  You wouldn't know it to look at him, but LEFT Tentacle swings a mean chair.]

Joe Pesci <putting on his American accent>: RADU thinks I'm going to be a push over at New Year's Nightmare?  He's got another thing coming.  He's not my nightmare... I'm his!  We got two take home shows before the big event, which means we need to train to get the ring rust off and make me the most devastating physical presence in SWAT today!  Based on my hiring practices, that shouldn't be too hard.

LEFT Tentacle: That's true, Joe.  You almost hired me here once...

Joe Pesci: As I get into FINAL BOSS form, I will simultaneously break Radu down!  He thought his championship run was gruelling?  He thought that winning the Halloween Cup was the hardest night of his life?  In the battlegrounds between now and our showdown, I'm going to introduce him to NEW breaking points.  Take tonight for instance!  Oh, he might pick up the win against those two muscular retards, but they are going to stretch him, and god knows they are injury prone.  At the same time, any shot they get in that makes him flinch on camera?  He'll find that absolutely humiliating!  Mental and physical abuse!  You wants to play with fire?  He's going to get burned!!!

LEFT Tentacle: It's good to see you so positive, Joe.  When you called me, I was sure you'd be freaking out.

Joe Pesci: Me scared?  Never!  I'm Parishu Joe - and Parishu Joe is a bad mother fucker!

[The door swings open again as Joe's nephew Carmine runs in...]

Carmine: Hell's Bouncer and Powerhouse just quit!

[...the blood drains from Joe's face.]

Joe Pesci: Come again?

Carmine: Apparently realizing that Radu was going to murder them for running their mouths like bitches, The Royal Family decided to have horrible injuries that have resulted in them retiring.

Joe Pesci: ...

LEFT Tentacle: ...

Carmine: ...

Joe Pesci <trying to shoot things with his gun, then realizing its a lighter having to hold it really close to things to singe them>: OH COME ON!!!!!!!!

[Quadruple take.]

Joe Pesci: They are big as houses!  They are ACTUAL wrestlers!  They have been ASKING to wrestle him!  It was going to be TWO on ONE!  And they're {Mongo Edit: Nah we don't say that anymore} enough to not see it coming! <spitting mad> I'm half their size, not a wrestler, and there is ONE of me!  Those god damned pussies!  All they had to do was soften him up a bit more, then they could fuck off and find their smile.  That's all I'm asking for!  FORCE THAT MATCH!

Carmine: I think they've left the building.

Joe Pesci: God damn it.

[Parishu Joe looks down to find he's torched the autographed photo he took with Mel Torme!  He can't catch a break.]

Joe Pesci: Get me Joanne!  Her supernatural shtick seems to be the only thing that's made Matei break a sweat since he got here.  I hate that vampire shit, but I'll take any edge I can get.

Carmine: Canelli's currently out of the country on business!

Joe Pesci <throwing his gun at Carmine's head>: JUDAS!  I'm surrounded by ingrates!  They don't mind cashing my cheques, but the moment the boogie man shows up wanting a piece of my ass, they can't even be bothered to leave me with a condom?  SERIOUSLY?  WHAT THE FUCK!

#SCREECH#

[The camera pans over to the far side of the room where Zoran Sainovic is running his nails down a chalk board.  There isn't actually a chalk board, its just dry wall - but he's getting an impressive noise out of it.  Also he's drawn a picture of Radu on it to illustrate his point.]

Joe Pesci <looking around>: Where's my gun?

Zoran Sainovic: It seems you vill be requiring assistance, no Jo?

Joe Pesci: Kill this Euro trash!

LEFT Tentacle: On it, Joe!

[Grabbing the nearest chair, LEFT Tentacle rises from the couch.  He looks really intimidating for about three steps, before having to use the chair to avoid fainting.  Your giant felt tentacle monster is looking kind of green.]

LEFT Tentacle <holding the suction cup that makes up his stomach>: UGH.  Joe.  How long has that chicken chow mien been in your fridge?

Joe Pesci: We only set up this office tonight.  That must have been there for months...

LEFT Tentacle: I think I'm going to be sick.

[...]

[The costume is large enough that we will never know what happens next.]

[You can't get good help these days.  Pesci grabs a letter opener and starts charging at Sainovic.]

Zoran Sainovic: Let's not be rash, Jo.

Joe Pesci: RASH?  I wouldn't be in this jam if you hadn't give him my name!

Zoran Saniovic: And yet now zat you are, vhat a perfect time for you to give me a contract.  You can talk about Canelli rattling ze Beast, but no one gets under his skin like me.

Joe Pesci: No dice!  The KGB will take care of my little pro-

Zoran Sainovic: New Year's Nightmare... ze KGB will have their own fish to fry.  Hell, you being forced to retire vould put Soutter back in full control, so he might not have the same vested interest in your future zat I do.

[An amazing amount of personal control sees Parishu Joe stab the letter opener a few feet from Sainovic's face, into the chest of the Radu drawing.  To his credit, Sainovic doesn't flinch.]

Joe Pesci: Welcome to SWAT, buddy!

Zoran Sainovic: Looking forwards to vorking with you, Jo.

Carmine: So should I let Radu go home for the night.

Zoran Sainovic: No.  Inform Matei zat I will be vrestling him in a shark cage match.

Carmine: Um... Uncle Joe?

Joe Pesci: You heard the man.

[Carmine nods and leaves.  Parishu Joe gives Sanovic a cold smile.]

Joe Pesci: That's the spirit, pal.  I have a feeling we're going to come out of this laughing.

[...LEFT Tentacle falls over in his chair, possibly dead.]

[Parishu Joe rubs his temple, really needing to work on his criminal empire.]

[King Syberus]

("Two Notes Shy of an Octave" by Red City Radio kicks in and the crowd reach their feet. After a few moments 110% Syberus emerges through the curtain wearing a 110% Bitch! t-shirt and sporting a bandaged knee and crutches. He hobbles down to the ring with a look of inspired appreciation for the applause from the crowd.)

Jeremy Tucker: Syberus still sporting the uh... injuries he sustained a couple of months ago.

Andrew Fulton: Suuuure.

(A couple of members from the ring crew help Syberus into the ring. He nods at the crowd with tears in his eyes as he is handed the microphone.)

Jeremy Tucker: Are the crowd here seriously playing along with this?

( A chant of "Welcome Back!! Welcome Back!! Welcome Back!!" indeed breaks out in the audience. Syberus applauds them to a rapturous ovation.)

Syberus: God it's been... I don't even know how long it's been?! After I sustained the brutal assault I sustained orchestrated by the maniacal genius of Paul Soutter... I didn't think I'd ever wrestle again. Hell I didn't think I'd even get the chance to stand on my own two feet, in this ring, and say thank you to all you amazing fans. But you people gave me the sheer force of will to make it back here, to SWAT, right where I belong, and there's nothing that Paul Soutter can do about it!!

(The crowd boo the mention of Soutter's name.)

Syberus: For too long Paul Soutter has pulled the strings here in SWAT. Do you people really think that Joe Pesci is in charge here? You buying that? Do you really think that random nobodies - faceless anonymous nobodies would really jump the rails and attack me from behind if it wasn't for the poison that Paul Soutter pours in their ears?! He sells them a dream! He promises them richest beyond their wildest imagination. But I know the truth, and you people here know the truth - Paul Soutter is a peddler of falsehoods!! All he brings them in the end is lies and deceit!! Paul Soutter must be stopped at all costs!!

(Cheers as Syberus gets fired up.)

Syberus: Tonight I'm one on one against Lucky Linda LaFey. Unfortunately, Linda isn't so lucky tonight. Hyuk Hyuk. Because she's one on one with a guy that gives 110% no matter what!! I'm 110% Syberus! When Linda stops at 99% I go beyond it! She could even punch in 101% - an admirable effort for most! But 110% Syberus would still have 9% more!! and in Syndicate Wrestling and Tradition, we all know what counts- THOSE PERCENTS BABY!!! I mean look at the World Heavyweight Champion.

Just...

(He shakes his head and rubs his eyes wearily.)

Syberus: I mean dear God just look at her.

Anyway, it is what it is. This is SWAT. And in SWAT, he who holds the percents… holds the power!! Paul Soutter!! You and me have a long way to go, friend. You putting road bumps in my way like Lucky Linda is cute. Real cute. But 110% Syberus will throw so many goddang percents her way she won't even know what hit her. You wanna hide behind the entire roster, that's fine. You're already putting literally everyone you can between me and the World Heavyweight title, might as well stand at the back of the line yourself right?

Of course, you then went and scheduled yourself in a dog collar match with my best friend, mentor, leader of the Society of the New Breed, and guy I'm absolutely guaranteed to never swerve, or be swerved BY - Jonnie Valentine! Aahahahahahaha!!

Crowd: Hahahahahahahaha!!

Syberus: Ooaoahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Crowd: Hahahahahahahahahahaaa!!

Syberus: *wiping a tear* Oh you FOOL. You FOOL Paul Soutter. You literally have the power to book anything you want, put yourself on the world title with some bullshit KGB screwjob finish like 9 out of 10 world title matches in SWAT finish with, and you go and do THAT instead!? Jonnie's gonna kill you!!

( A "Jonnie's gonna kiiiill you" chant picks up. Syberus waves his hand around to it like a conductor.)

Syberus: All I ask of my best friend, mentor, Society of the New Breed leader and man I will never swerve and who will never swerve me is... LEAVE SOME FOR ME!!

Now Linda, Lucky Lucky Linda. You are Lucky in one respect. That you get to share the ring with such a masculine energy such as 110% Syberus. I don't want you to think that I'm overlooking you in the slightest sense. Because I'm not. I must defeat you. It's integral to my scheme to win back a shot at the SWAT World Heavyweight title. But look what that man did to me. JUST LOOK!! My body was broken. My self esteem was shattered. I never thought I'd walk again. ALL BECAUSE OF PAUL SOUTTER AND LITERALLY NO ONE ELSE.

But you get to bear the full brunt of my return.

Jeremy Tucker: He literally just had Helloween off and that's it.

Syberus: Linda, tonight you get a sample of things to come. Great things.

Soutter, try not to get too mutilated you fat piece of shit.

(He drops the mic and "Two Notes Shy of an Octave" comes back into play. The "Welcome Back!!" chant kicks up again and Syberus celebrates with the crowd.)

[frostbite]

EARLER IN THE DAY

Our SWAT camera crew are being sent on location for this interview, Well they will not have to travel to far from the arena where tonight action will be held. We are a few blocks from the arena as our trusty black and red van pulls up in front of a local Gold's gym. Roughly four members of our crew jumped out with equipment in tow as they head toward the glass plated front door. Some of our members crew members could use a membership to the gym. One member who is holding the camera has a jelly doughnut in his mouth trying to eat it on his way into the gym with his gut hanging over his belt as he black pants are so tight on him that he could use a couple more sizes up. But as they swing open the door, we see one lovely young lady who has to be in her mid 20's with short black haired and wearing a purple tank top with tight fitting matching shorts and purple and white shoes, as she is on the treadmill with a bottle of water right by her side as the sweat is just dripping off her body has she is pushing a couple of buttons as the treadmill and the young lady as well is picking up speed.

They continue to move throughout the gym as we see a short brown haired gentleman wearing a black tee shirt with gray shorts and gray and white shoes, the young man is laying in a bench as he is lifting weights as you can see the veins bulging from his neck and in both of his arms as well as he continues to bench who knows how much weight he is trying to bench. He does a couple of more lifts until he puts the weight on back of the bar as he reaches down onto the floor as he picks up a white towel to wipe the sweat from his forehead as he lays right back down on the bench as to continue to lift more. The crew continues move right along until they get to the back of the building, we see a wrestling or a boxing ring. We see a young lady wearing a hello tank top with black sweats and black boots, her long blonde hair is up in a ponytail the young lady from what we can tell from a distance almost appears to look like the current SWAT World Champion, Suzi Spitz, she gets ready to lock up with a young man who had short blonde hair, and is wearing a blue tee shirt with blue sweats and blue boots, however we know who this man is, none other than Frostbite.

Our crew shoots some footage as we see the young lady trying to hip toss, Frostbite but he b,of us it has he quickly goes in behind for a school boy roll up. The young lady kicks out as they both jumped back to her feet, as the young lady tries for a quick kick, but Frostbite catches it and hits a dragon screw leg sweep and then slaps on a figure four. Frostbite quickly let's go of the hold as he helps the young lady to her feet. The two shake hands..

The crew continues to follow Frostbite though the next couple of hours as " Eye of the Tiger" plays as we see clips of Frostbite..

Frostbite is on the treadmill

Frostbite is lifting weights as a couple of really muscle bound guys are spotting him.

Frostbite is standing in front of a mirror throwing right and lefts, then knee strikes, forearm blows, and kicks to finish it off

Frostbite back in the ring with the young lady again exchanging holds, as Frostbite counters them

Once again back in front of the mirror doing one armed push ups as sweat is pouring off his body

The song finishes up as he is once again back in the ring with the young lady as he connects with buckle bomb as he follows up with spear.

The next image we see Frostbite sitting on the bench as he head is down as he grabs a water bottle and pours it over his body. He puts the bottle back on the floor ax he slowly picks his head up as our cameras zoom in on the intense look in his blue eyes.

Frostbite.. Nothing like a solid workout before a big match and later on tonight it is certainly a big one because I get another chance at becoming the World Champion as I step into the ring with Suzi Spitz. Now, Suzi I must admit, you have done an outstanding job since you arrived here in SWAT. You have been unbeatable, hell you beat Radu Matei, a man that will probably been the wrestler of the year around here. So please do not get me wrong, I know what you are capable of. But as we go back to back on Facebook exchanging words, I am glad that you did bring up the fact that it was yours truly that was the only loss on your impressive record here.

Can lightning strike twice?

Suzi, I believe it can and it will. We can go back and forth with words on Facebook but we have to step in that ring and back up what we say. I do not have any doubt in my mind that I can do so, I am sure you can as well.

Frostbite stops to take a sip of water.

Frostbite.. Suzi, I know you are a student of the game, and I am sure that you have clips on my matches here in SWAT and maybe you have gotten some more footage of my work outside of this company. I am sure we have gone back and watch our last match and you are going to make some corrections. Well, let me tell you right now whatever game plan that you might have, you might want to scrap it because I am going to show you a totally different Frostbite. When I step in that ring with you later on tonight, I am going the show you the real Frostbite, the one that is cold hearted. Suzi, it was one of the all time greats once said..

" I am going to make you bleed, sweat and you will pay the price."

I am going to see how bad you want to be called champ. Because I know what I will do to be call champion, Trust me when I say, you are going to spill lots of blood in this match. Your body will take huge amounts of punishment until he completely gives out on you. The mind is a great thing, but how much can the body take will be what you must answer that. In my 16 year career I have taking my lion share of punishment, and I am sure this match will be no different. You see I have come to realize that life sometimes you must come full circle, and for me to become that guy again, I must become cold hearted. That is how I will win this.

Suzi, you can cut the promos among all promos, but how much are you willing to go? I know what must be done. Suzi another factor that you must think about is simply this? Paul Soutter allows you to be the champion because deep down he feels that you will not be too much of a thorn in his side, but when I win the title, he will have a heart attack, because he can not allow me to be the champion. Suzi, I have no doubt in my mind we will go out there and have a five star match, maybe the match of the year because we will put it all on the line. I do not bleeding all over the building, because I will do whatever it takes to become the World Champion.

Frostbite reaches down ax he grabs a blue duffle bag ad he pulls something from out of the bag. It is a championship belt. He holds it as the camera crew moves in to see that it is the SWAT Mid South title.

Frostbite.. Paul, that world title is tainted. It does mean much because you made the belt and this company a joke. Sure Radu did a good job and trying to bring some respect to the title but once you had in your camp, you made it a farce. Maybe Suzi can try and her best to uphold that, but tonight once I win the title, I will take the belt and burn it front of your eyes and this title will become the new championship. It will become something that the locker room can actually take some pride in. This title will mean that SWAT is under new leadership and KGB is nothing more than a joke.

He places the belt back in the bag.

Frostbite.. Suzi, I did here your comment about a Kurt Angle retirement tour, whether that it about your own career or maybe it is mine. People close to me knows that I have talked about walking away from this sport to do other things. I thought this would be the end but 2020 will be the finale. They say all good things must come to an end. It is like the tv show that has been on for 15 years or so, and they know it is time to end it. I know it is time is near. Unlike Kurt, I am not going out on like he went out. I will go out with a loud BANG that I promise. Suzi, you are the very beginning of that tour and a world title is such a nice start.

Frostbite shakes his head.

Frostbite.. I am reminded of the last Batman movie..

Batman.. I have not given everything.

Frostbite.. Suzi, I agree. You have not seen everything, and tonight, I promise you that you will get everything. Champ, Trust me when I say the best is yet to come. Enjoy the few moments you have left being called champion because it is official time to burn this bitch to the ground once and for all.

He lays back on the bench as he lifts more weights as the scene fades out.

[frostbite]

Back in the locker...

We catch up with Doomsday and Lucifer as the two are standing over the row of lockers they toss to the ground earlier. The two are enjoying their handy work.

Doomsday.. I guess the big man you heard what Team Fairtex had to say earlier.

Lucifer.. I could not actually understand them. Maybe it is some language barrier.

Doomsday.. I forgot we are too stupid to understand. We are two seven foot dummies.

Lucifer.. I thought we were Frostbite thugs..

Doomsday.. Ah that as too. It was quite touchy feeling moment when they said brother we have worked to do. It almost a year to my eye.

Lucifer gives him a weird look.

Doomsday.. Just joking, I get it there brothers that have a tight bound, but I wonder if these two have any brain cells. They must understand we have been a team for 13 years so you do use our brains and not brawn every time. We do have a game plan they know that right. We have been tag team champs before right.

Lucifer.. No, come on we are not smart enough to have a game plan to beat them.

Lucifer takes his massive boot and kicks a locker across the room.

Doomsday.. They rule the tag team division here in SWAT. Well I guess they rule because what other teams are around here. I know The Sociey of the New Breed might have a team, but think about it who else is a threat to them.

Lucifer.. We are the dummies.

Doomsday.. They are the future of the tag team wrestling or so they say.

Lucifer.. I thought they have been around for years.. How can they be the future?

Doomsday.. They is saying you and I, are the future of the division and we have been a team for years. I can say we are the team right now here in SWAT.

Lucifer.. Look we can exchange insults back and forth but later on tonight. We are going to put a huge dent in the KGB plans by taking those tag team titkes from the two of you.

Doomsday.. This company needs a fresh face to uphold the standards that the two of you can not handle. You have decided to align yourself with KGB, and that was a huge mistake. Sure we are good friends of Frostbite that is no secret but we are not his thugs. We think for ourselves, maybe Soutter does your thinking for you. Maybe he tells you when to eat or take a dump, but Frostbite has no control over us. He will tell you that himself.

Lucifer.. We get the sayings.. " They both get than are, they harder they fall." We get all of that, but realize we are not all brute force, and we are going to prove that point later on.

Doomsday.. Your boss made the huge mistake by having put those titles on the line.. And you follow the man. Well he just sealed your fate.

Lucifer.. But does that not mean the rest of the KGB can get involved and bail them out.

Doomsday.. Could be the case.. They would be the perfect solution for them to hold onto the belts, maybe that is the plan the whole time.

Lucifer.. I am sure they are going to tell us they do not need the KGB help to beat us.

Doomsday.. You are probably right. I only hope they take this match seriously because it appears they are not and again maybe I am reading it all wrong.

Lucifer.. I think you are right..

Doomsday kicks another locker across the room.

Doomsday.. That would be a huge mistake.. Five time tag team champs..

Lucifer.. Sounds nice.

Doomsday.. Yes it does.

Doomsday looks at Lucifer.

Doomsday.. Come on brother we have things to do.

Lucifer.. We are not brothers.

Doomsday.. It was a joke.

Lucifer picks up a locker and tosses it across the room.

Lucifer.. We will see who the joke really is?

The two walk out of the locker room as we head back to ringside.