Anzac Cup 2020 : Show

[bloodiedfox]

We fade up to see Bloodied Fox and Brendan Harding looking a monitor backstage (standing at a sensible viewing angle in front of it, don't worry), on which are playing out the last few seconds on K-JAX and Lunchbox Larry's last promo.

Is it just me or does that come across as uncomfortably close to being a guy manipulating a mentally handicapped person?

I'm not sure whether it's 'close' or just flat out 'is'. Depends on what Larry's IQ is, I guess.

I mean, it's more disconcerting to watch than Tarrasque. I at least think Marcus Anderson has his best interests at heart. Plus he doesn't dress like the whitest pimp in history.

Says the guy who thinks red and purple is good colour co-ordination on ring gear.

Yes, clearly I should have gone for leopard print instead. Maybe throw in a dash of fluorescent lime green.

Obviously. Got to follow the K-JAX example and dress like a walking epilepsy trigger.

While talking about 4D chess.

Fox gives a snort of disgust.

God, I fucking hate that bollocks. "I will proclaim how smart I am by talking about something that doesn't exist!" It's like a drunk Jake Roberts asking if people want to play '21', then saying he's got a 22. It's the stupid shit a stupid shit says because he thinks he's a clever shit. Which basically sums up K-JAX.

Brendan raises an eyebrow.

You're taking this one a little hard.

Eh, I had to listen to Team Fairtex spouting bullshit again. It put me in a foul mood.

Oh god, those pricks.

Yeah. It was all "we're not homophobic, we just used what you said!"

Didn't they say you had HIV?

Yep.

For no other reason than you're gay?

Yep.

But they're not homophobic?

Apparently.

Brendan blinks.

Huh. Well, I hope Timeless and Roxylishus beat the fuck out of them.

So say we all.

[vastrix]

We open in on Kerry Davis in Tarrasque’s dressing room. So naturally, he’s munching on a bucket of fried shrimp that was delivered to the room by a stage hand. Despite the fact that he was not Tarrasque, Kerry took the delivery.

Davis: This will be the life. Me teaming up with Ultra Kira to get a go at Jonnie Valentine and Syberus.

Naturally, that’s when Kerry’s phone rings. He looks at it curiously, it’s a flip phone, and answers it.

Davis: Hello? This is him. What do you mean that Ultra Kira can’t wrestle tonight? So am I alone in my tag team match? I can find someone else to get the shit kicked out of with me? I think you overestimate their wrestling capacity, sir, but fine. I will find someone.

Kerry Davis hangs up the phone and begins to go through his contact list on his phone. Someone who would be fool enough to tag up with him against the Stylistics. He picks a name and calls.

Davis: Hello, Microshocker? Kerry Davis here. Hello? He hung up on me.

Kerry goes through his contact list again, picking another name.

Davis: T'sai Jingkai? This is Kerry Davis. I would like to give you an oppor-hello? Must have been cut off.

Kerry looks at his phone and dials the number again.

Davis: Jingkai? This is Kerry Dav-hello? You know I think he did hang up on me.

Kerry goes through his contact list a third time. There must be someone who could help him sell a defeat. Probably a sound defeat at the hands of the Stylistics.

Davis: Hello, Shootfighter? This is Kerry Davis. I would like you to come out of retirement for one night to help me face Jonnie Valentine and Syberus in a tag team match. Hello? No one there. At least he let me get through my entire pitch before hanging up on me.

Kerry Davis goes back to his phone, this time looking through the internet portion of the phone. As limited as that might be since this far from being a smart phone. He eventually finds a number to dial.

Davis: Eddie Havok? This is Kerry Davis. Would you like to be defeated by some legends in the sport? No? I understand. Good luck in OPW ad SEE.

Kerry hangs up the phone with a sneer, but he quickly composes himself.

Davis: I suppose at least he talked to me. Been better than what the others have done with me so far. Hey, I know.

Kerry does another online search for a number and smiles as he dials.

Davis: Marcus! I know you haven’t gotten that far away from the arena. Listen, Ultra Kira got his ass beat before the match and I need a tag team partner to help me. I was wondering if either you or Tarrasque would be able to help me out here. No? I understand. Yeah, would be trouble if Tarrasque came back into the arena when he clearly has the coronavirus. I’m sorry I even had the idea.

Kerry hangs up the phone with a snarl, looking clearly upset.

Davis: It wasn’t like Tarrasque wasn’t just in the Rumble not long ago. If he has corona, I bet he would have spread it to half of the people in the Rumble by now.

Kerry goes back to his phone, typing with one hand as he rubs his hand across his scalp. Who to find? Kerry looks through a listing of wrestlers and finds one nearby with a smile. This would do for a tag team partner.

Davis: Hello. Han Dzee? Have they dropped the sexual harassment case against you so that you can wrestle again? Just yesterday? Great! I need a tag team partner here in a little while. Come to the arena as fast as you can. I’ll text you the info.

Kerry hangs up the phone and dials it again.

Davis: Hey, Zoran? I have a sub for Ultra Kira. His name is Han Dzee. Yeah, he’s the gay wrestler who likes to get handsey during the match. I’m sure either Jonnie or Syberus would be thrilled at getting their crotches massaged midmatch. Sure. Is he a good enough wrestler to help me win? Well, no, but it’s better than nothing. Right? Right.

Kerry hangs up the phone and texts Han Dzee the address to the arena. He smiles an evil smile.

Davis: Things are going to get gropey up in this bitch!

[SWAT Team]

Peel their Caps Back by Ice T hits and Tong and Phantom Fairtex make their way onto the ramp way. They are both wearing KGB singlets and psyching each other up, they taunt the fans and do a few poses riling them up and then go over some last minute plans .

Frank Salazar : Introducing now, hailing from Bangkok, Thailand. Coming in at combined weight of 470 pounds ....representing the KGB ..... TONG AND PHANTAM FAIRTEX!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Welcome back folks, and coming up is our 2nd match of the first round, pitting two KGB teams against one another, Team Fairtex currently in the ring, and Timeless and Roxylishus awaiting their entrance.

Andrew Fulton : This is going to be an interesting match, seeing as in the last match, The KGB sent their leader and founder Paul Soutter to the hospital, and Team Fairtex were not involved in that, so, where do they stand with the KGB?

Jeremy Tucker : That may well be the most well put statement / question you have ever made, but as a KGB ‘insider’, wouldn’t you have the scoop on this Andy?

Andrew Fulton : They don’t tell me ‘everything’ Jerry.

[The new KGB theme and entrance video hits the SWAT Tron and Timeless and Roxylishus make their way out onto the entrance, they stop in the centre and do a double pose. Then, the rest of the KGB, Joanne Canelli, James Fierce and Frostbite come out behind them, they all then do a group pose and mamke their way to the ring. Timeless snatching the mic from Frank before he can even announce them.]

Timeless : Beat if Frank. Everybody here knows who we are!

[Crowd booo’s]

Timeless : Tong! Phantam! You all saw what just happened to the Founder ... Take a look in front of you. This! This is the NEW KGB! Soutter, he is GONE! He got soft! We don’t roll that way. You have two choices. You can go to the hospital with Paul .... or, you can continue on with us ... and lay down for the three count here so we advance to the next round and bring the Cup home to the Bandits.

Jeremy Tucker : What? This is insane! They won’t lay down!

Andrew Fulton : They will if they want to stay with the new KGB Jerry!

Tong Fairtex : Well, when you put it like that .....

Jeremy Tucker : WHAM! Double super kicks from Tong and Phantam to Roxylishus and Timeless! They aren’t laying down for anyone!

Andrew Fulton : Not willingly Jerry, but they will by end of the match, what a foolish mistake on their part!

Jeremy Tucker : Referee Vick Mackey goes to check on Roxylishus, what is WRONG with him?

Andrew Fulton : You can’t blame him Jerry, she is a siren, and he is under her spell, much like the rest of us.

Jeremy Tucker : Granted. Joanne and Fierce and Frostbite run at Phantam and start pummelling him, as Timeless and Tong start duking it out! This is not a match! This is not what the Anzac Cup is about!

Andrew Fulton : Joanne and Frostbite and Fierce continue to stomp on Phantam, Mackey is oblivious checking on Roxylishus, and she is now milking it to distract him, here come the Hired Killers! Jade and Kim! The wives of Team Fairtex, and they are carrying baseball bats!

Jeremy Tucker : Jade and Kim clear the ring of the KGB, Frostbite and Fierce and Joanne all going for higher ground. Jade and Kim double con-chair-toe baseball bat Roxylishus to the skull and she crumbles in a heap, Mackey looks up at them and tells them to get out of here! He seems really angry.

Andrew Fulton : Tong and Timeless are brawling on the outside ....

Jeremy Tucker : Phantam crawls over an covers Roxylishus ....

One .........................

Two ...........................

THREE!!!!!!!!

Andrew Fulton : I don’t believe it!

Jeremy Tucker : TEAM FAIRTEX WIN! TEAM FAIRTEX WIN!!

Andrew Fulton : WHAM! Fierce cracks Tong in the back with a steel chair. Timeless then drags him up onto the Indian announce booth, and Falcon Arrows him thought it. Ohhh Golly Gosh!

Jeremy Tucker : You are such a racist.

Andrew Fulton : Joanne and Frostbite enter the ring, a chair each and start clubbing Phantom with them, the Hired Killers jump after them with the bats, but Timeless and Fierce cut them off and grab the bats, weight of numbers is on the side of the KGB, and the four of them then slam their steel chairs into Jade and Kim, and then again into Phantam!

Jeremy Tucker : Timeless picks up a knocked out Roxylishus on his shoulder and carries her to the back with the rest of the KGB. Team Fairtex and the Hired Killers all laid out in the ring.

Frank Salazar :Winners of the match and advancing to round 2. TEAM FAIRTEX!

[Venom 🕷]

Cut to the training room. Heavy bags hang, weight benches scatter around the room, and dumb bells lay all over the place. This is where we find Javier, El Combatiente and Lord Dominicus. LD is in the corner of the room standing in front of a heavy bag doing what looks like a terrible impersonation of kung fu. Near the center of the room El Combatiente lays on a weight bench pressing what looks to be 210 lbs, just under his weight. He’s pushing it up with quite a bit of ease and standing over him just in case is Javier. Javier smiles as he notices the camera and begins to speak.


Javier: As we prepare for the show, as we gear ourselves up for a fight, the team of the Saga are biting each others heads off because they are mad.


Javier makes an angry face and lets out a chortle.


Javier: You guys are ridiculous. You come out and all but say you’re going to lose, and when my team calls you out on it you get mad, and what do you do? You make a bunch of sports references to let the fans out there know that you’re hip and cool. You’re smarter than you look though. Instead of just one sports reference you give three so they know you’re not a one trick pony. Not only do you know hockey but you know boxing and baseball too!


Javier makes a shocked face and again laughs.


Javier: Your whole shtick is laughable guys. You want to play angry because you are thought of as a group of losers. I get it, if my group was thought of as a bunch of losers I’d be upset too, but we’re not thought of as a group of losers because we win. Meanwhile your group loses, if I may quote you, about 85% of your matches. Even in the sport you referenced of baseball, a game of failure, that would be a terrible batting average. You would be lucky to be the last man on the roster with that low of a batting average.


El Combatiente: Yo solía jugar béisbol. Tenía un brazo infernal.

(I used to play baseball. I had a hell of an arm.)


Javier: I do understand failure, though. Before I became the translator for this wonderful man here I was an interpreter for the local police department. It was terrible pay and I had to help the police convince young men who didn’t speak the same language as them to admit their guilt. Every time I helped them I felt like I let my people down. Every time I helped someone get freed I felt like I was doing a terrible job. I too just wanted to quit and go home, but I don’t want you to just quit and go home. I want you and your friends in the Saga to show up and prove the world wrong. Show them you’re not going to lay down and be losers. Show up and just be proven as losers.


Javier lets out a laugh again.


Javier: Then you can go home to San Jose and curl up in a ball. Then you can cry until you don’t hurt anymore. Then you can rest up and heal. By the time you finally feel better then you might come back in time to watch my team win this whole Cup. After it’s done then maybe you can get another match with my client and you can be proven yet again to still be a loser.


Behind Javier LD spins and back heel kicks the heavy bag. LD lets out a serious “HIIIYA” as he makes contact but the bag barely moves. Javier reaches down and helps set the bar in place. El Combatiente sits up.


El Combatiente: ¿Es hora de tener un gran partido con el maravilloso equipo conocido como Saga?

(Is it time to have a great match with the wonderful team known as Saga?)


Javier: Almost, let’s go and make final preparations.


El Combatiente stands up and Javier waives over to LD and the three join and head out of the training room to get dressed for their match.

[anthonycaffrey]

The camera cuts to the outside of the arena as a cameraman stands in the parking lot with his camera pointed up at the sky. At first, the shot is a little unusual… until a helicopter comes into view! The helicopter is already beginning its slow descent towards the ground, seemingly getting louder and louder as it makes it down to ground level. It lands and its blades eventually come to a stop. The door opens and the crowd pops as one Anthony Caffrey, fresh off his XHF Rumble victory, steps out of the helicopter.

The X-Crown Champion is wearing a black and red “CAFF” t-shirt in the love design and a pair of jeans. He is wearing a black cloth facemask with something on it but it’s hard to get a proper visual on his face. He is no carrying any championship belts with him and the old crown is nowhere in sight. He passes by the camera and keeps walking, shouting something at them.

“Tell ‘em to hit my fuckin’ music!”

The cameras cut back to the arena and “My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark” by Fall Out Boy hits the arena speakers. After an extended delay to account for travel time, the veteran passes through the curtain. The moment is surreal as for the first time in a very long time, a crowd pops for Anthony Caffrey outside of his native Philadelphia, and they are roaring at the sight of the man who put an end to Zoran Sainovic’s X-Crown reign. He walks down to the ring slowly, soaking it all in. You can tell it’s ripping him up that he can’t highfive any of the children who have their arms reached out over the barricade. The champion climbs up the ring steps and enters the ring, taking another look at the capacity crowd screaming for him.

“Well shit, I kinda thought I was about to come out to ten thousand middle fingers. Guess I was wrong again.”

You can hear Caff laugh, but he’s clearly taken aback at the fan reaction. A “You Deserve It!” chant breaks out, keeping Caffrey from getting started with his speech. Caffrey pauses, taking a moment to allow himself to be caugh up in all of it as he runs his arm over his face -- avoiding touching his face with his hands -- before beginning to speak. He keeps the mask on as he begins to speak.

“Guys, guys, as much as I’d love for this to keep going… the Anzac Cup IS the longest night of the year and we’ve still got a very long show to get through.”

He puts his hand out, trying to settle the crowd down so he can speak. He begins to put his hand down, and notices an ability to control the volume of the crowd with how low or high he puts his hand. Naturally, he completely abuses this power for a few seconds, starting low, going high, and every other range in-between before he finally starts.

“First off, I just gotta say: thank you for the response I’ve gotten from all of you. My cellphone has been blowing up over the past forty-eight hours from congratulatory text messages, people trying to get in touch with me, even people sending me memes of me yeeting Zoran’s crown off a boat.”

The crowd pops again.

“Yeah, I figured y’all would like that. Leading up to the Rumble, thinking about everything and that physical crown, the whole… Emperor persona is so 2019, isn’t it? It’s like making fun of the Peloton lady. It’s old and outdated… and let’s be honest, ever since the shit hit the fan, I’m finding it real hard to put myself above everyone else. I might be an asshole here but when you’re trapped in a Spanish hotel room for two weeks relying on delivery drivers because you have no kitchen, you start reevaluating your place in the world. When you see all these incredible stories of nurses and doctors going to battle for all of us, you start to realize just how interconnected we all are and who the real heroes are. Hell, look at the ANZAC Cup itself and what it’s named for.”

“I know I’m explaining something that all of you--”

Caffrey begins a slow spin around the ring, pointing at the thousands of fans in attendance.

“--already know, but for those of us dumbass Americans who go, ‘what’s an ANZAC?”, it’s actually an abbreviation, and it stands for the Australian and New Zealand Army Corps. The ANZAC Cup ties in with ANZAC Day, a national day of remembrance for all of the soldiers who have served and made sacrifices for your country. And those men and women… those men and women are the real heroes.”

The audience roars in approval for the armed forces. Caffrey moves the microphone away from his face, letting the crowd have a few moments of unity and solidarity. A few moments quickly turns into over a minute as they begin chanting “AN-ZAC! An-ZAC!”. Caffrey leans in the corner, waiting for the crowd to finally die down before speaking again.

“Now, I got one more hero to talk about before we get into SKY Force---”

The crowd boos loudly. Caffrey nods in agreement.

“---I get it, guys. One of the only groups out there where the sum of is parts is somehow even less than the whole. A group, that despite having multiple champions to it, a group where the wrestler everyone wants to see the most is something that belongs on a bedside mantle. A group that… let’s be real for a moment here, actually makes the Fairtex boys look like dangerous threats by comparison.”

Caffrey and the crowd share a laugh as he continues.

“Tonight, I wanted to talk about a hero of mine. As you may have noticed with me coming out here, I don’t have a fancy blinged-out X-Crown championship around my waist. People who’ve been watching me over the years know I love a big shiny title wrapped around my right shoulder. That has not changed.”

“When all this blows over, I have plans to get something nice and shiny made, but I tried contacting my title guys back in Philly, and they’re not an essential business right now. They can’t operate because of Governor Wolf’s orders, so as much as you and I want to see something pretty cool, and as much as I was fully thinking of something as we got rid of that asshole’s crown…”

Caffrey would be smirking here, but no one can see his facial expression under the mask.

“...that’s not in the cards for right now. But as all these text messages have come in, the person who doesn’t get left on-read is my girlfriend Victoria. She’s great -- met her in a gym months ago while taunting Chris Card of all people, but besides bein’ a fuckin’ smokeshow, she understands that I gotta be on the other side of the world chasing greatness and glory, giving all of you something to latch onto and root for when there’s very few things to get hopeful about these days. Can we get some cheers for Victoria?”

The crowd pops for the champ’s girlfriend. Caffrey blows a kiss to the camera.

“Now as a few more… uh, celebratory pictures came in, she asks me if I’ve checked this flap in my bag. As I fly everywhere around the world, I just have his bag with one little flap I don’t touch, and she usually puts a little note in there. So there I am, thousands of miles away in the middle of the ocean, and I go grab my bag and open up the flap. And about five of these were in there. And I loved his thing so much, I had the website nerds include this in my official X-Crown picture. Check it out!”

Caffrey points up to the big screen. The crowd roars when the picture appears.



You can feel in Caffrey’s tone that he’s smiling ear-to-ear as he speaks with great pride.

“I look forward to recreating that picture when I get the hell back home and everything’s open, but tonight… tonight we got some extra gravy. Everyone’s trying to prove themselves tonight, talkin’ an awful lotta shit you know they just can’t back up. I already backed myself up, so everything tonight is just extra. We got… hopefully got…”

Caffrey twists his free hand, revealing his lack of confidence in his partner.

“...Callahan, and we’ve got ourselves a tough path to the final. Let me level with you folks, I’m not really looking forward to hearing Frankie say the words ‘Radu Matei’.”

“Ma-tei! Ma-tei!” chants almost immediately break out as hardcore SWAT viewers lose their shit at the idea of Caffrey locking up with the SWAT icon.

“But first, but first we have to get our hands on some combination of Charles, Rin Kubo, Yamamoto I’m not even going to try to pronounce your first name for fear of butchering it and looking like an incredible racist because I actually have a conscience unlike the Fairtex boys, and Nausicaa Suzuki. Three ladies and a stuffed cat -- sounds like something you find on the weirdest avenue of the Internet at 2 o’clock in the morning, doesn’t it?”

Caffrey laughs too hard at that joke, but keeps going.

“Kubo and Yamamoto… you two ladies were gone by the time I had even hit the ring, along with your furry little companion. And as for Suzuki… once viewed as the toughest, strongest member of your whole clan, pretty sure she was the leader before you all started worshipping something that belongs in Toy Story rather than a wrestling ring…well, she didn’t last too long, that’s for sure. To tell you the truth, I think you all were more concerned with how to swim rather than how to not get your asses handed to you by fifty other competitors.”

The crowd pops along as Caffrey focuses up, gesturing his finger for the cameraman to come in a little closer, before backing him up to make sure he’s still six feet away.

“It’s the first round and you’re stepping into the ring with one of their favorites, riding a wave of momentum that couldn’t even make it to the sands of the beach. I’m riding high, and as much as I wanna say that ANZAC Cup is 100% what I’m aiming for tonight, I gotta admit there’s something a little greater at the end of the rainbow. No, it’s not going home. Oh though that is going to be so, so incredibly sweet… it’s what happens when the ANZAC Cup is awarded to the winners. It’s the fact that if Callahan and I win tonight, Zoran Sainovic has to walk out here and give me another fucking thing he can’t hold onto!”

Caffrey is riding the high of the crowd as he tauntingly puts two fingers up at the camera, symbolic of the motion that Zoran kept showing him during the Rumble itself. Just like the Rumble, he puts another finger down again, sending the audience roaring.

“Lookin’ a litle wet there, Zoran! You wouldn’t want to catch hypothermia before the big celebration tonight buddy! You’re lookin’ an awful lot like your career right now -- taking a dive at exactly the worst time. I don’t know what you’ve got planned for me. I don’t know what tricks you have up your sleeve. I’m sure you’re gonna make my life a miserable hell, and tonight’s probably going to be me taking the first steps of walking through whatever hell you can dish out.”

Caffrey points to the “X” over his lips.

“But hey, as long as I got this, and the support of all of them…”

Caffrey swings around and points at the capacity crowd.

“...I’m gonna keep putting one foot in front of the other. And when Callahan and I win the Anzac Cup tonight, the next foot’s going up your ass.”

The crowd roars as Caffrey drops the microphone and his entrance song plays again. You can see the intensity in his eyes as he ignores the cheering crowd and stares at the camera, the final visual being Caffrey wearing his new X-Crown before the camera cus.

[Lucky Linda]

Recorded Earlier appears in text on the Tron ....

”Top of the morning to you Sue” says Linda brightly, Lucky Linda La Fey that is, the shot on the SWAT Tron pans out and she is in the hospital room visiting Sue from accounting. Sue looks much better but is still on a drip, and Linda is wearing an all new SWAT Classic t-shirt featuring herself and Radu Matei on it. “You are looking real well.”

Linda hands Sue some flowers and a card. “Thanks Linda, this is really nice of you to come and visit me in here.” Sue opens the card and reads it, smiling and a lotto ticket falls out of the card.

“I have a special feeling about that ticket” Says Linda. “My spidey luck senses were tingling when I purchased it, so, make sure you look after it.”

“I better get a safe, STAT” jokes Sue. “I received a letter from Mr Sainovic Linda” moving to a more serious topic “He expects me to return to work tomorrow, but the doctors tell me I am not yet fit for work, I think if I do not return as he has summoned, that I may be fired.”

“He will just have to wait until you are well enough” Linda snarls, she really dislikes Zoran. “Let him try and fire you while you are injured and unable to work, it is his fault to begin with you are in here”.

“I don’t think I can return Linda.” Confides Sue. “Ever.”

“That’s what he wants, to run off anyone who can link him to his embezzlement and my money.” Linda slams her hand down on the bed table, and then looks at it, and Sue and her stare at the table in shock, and Linda double takes back “Sorry, i didn’t mean that. He just gets under my skin this creep.”

“I just am not as strong as you are Linda.” Sue sniffles, she is a defeated lady. “I have a family and they have been getting harassed, mysterious people accosting them and asking all sorts of personal and intimidating questions, I know he is behind it. It isn’t worth my family getting hurt, it’s only a job.”

Linda sighs then looks fiercely into Sue’s eyes. “He won’t get away with this. I will not let him! It’s not even about the money any more to me now!”

Switch to the Rod Laver Arena and Linda is walking in wheeling her bag behind her, she is now wearing the top selling ‘Wanna Get Lucky’ t-shirt and Warren W Webber accosts her.

“Linda” Greets Webber “Nice to see you, can we get a word please?”

“To be sure” answers Linda.

“Thanks. Firstly, congrats on the big win last week against Timeless and Roxylishus. You sure shocked the world with Radu returning as your tag team partner.”

“Who doesn’t beat them these days Warren” Linda jokes. “Seriously though, it was a fun match, and yes, Radu is a great coo as my tag partner for the Cup. He and I, we went to war last year for the World Title, Match of the Year as you know, not only did I win his respect that night, and not only did he win MY respect that night, but he won the respect of the SWAT fans that night.” Linda looks from Warren to the camera. “That bonded he and I that match. I watched on as he went on to become the greatest World Champion this Federation has seen, and he helped me to grow also, a quite word here and a little text there after my matches with some feedback.”

“I watched on in disgust as Mr Sainovic and Timeless tried to prematurely end his career.” Continues Linda “All they really accomplished though Warren, was to give him the time to recover and heal his broken body, the body he sacrificed for SWAT.”

“You’re opponents in the first round are La Famiglia.” States Warren “Any thoughts on them?”

“Well, they are relative new comers here to SWAT still, and really, they haven’t done anything of note.” Linda pauses. “Let’s be totally Frank shall we, everyone knows they are completely outmatched, and that we will steam roll over them. But, I wish them all the best in their time here in SWAT.”

“Have you looked ahead at all in the brackets?” asks Warren.

“I would be a liar if I said I hadn’t. There is talent oozing in every bracket of this one, and only the best of the best will prevail. Do I think that can be Radu and myself?” Linda asks. “You are damn right I do.”

“What about the prize money owing to you from winning the No Man’s Land Women’s tourney Linda?” Asks Warren. “Any updates there?”

“Dead end after dead end at the moment” Linda looks angrily into the camera. “But I didn’t get to where I am by giving up. Zoran is a very intelligent man, and he is tying up a lot of loose ends it seems.” Linda looks to Warren “I am one loose end that can’t be tied up though Warren! I won’t be silenced and I won’t be intimidated like some office workers. I will get what is mine if I have to take it to the ring with Zoran, whatever it takes, I will get what is mine.” Linda walks off in a huff.

“There you have it folks, Lucky Linda La Fey. Back to you Jerry and Andy.”

[thecomedian]

[We fade in to Rally Jackson and Tuxedo mask in a "small gym."  This takes place five minutes before Trent and Eddie did their "workout promo."]

Tuxedo Mask:  Rally what did you bring me here for?  We know you don't work out.  Are we stalking another prostitute?  Is that why you had those bushes put in over there?  To hide in?

Rally Jackson:  No, well yes, but I mean that's for later.  That's not the only reason we are here.

Tuxedo Mask:  Then why are we here?  To get back in shape?  You know it starts with the refrigerator.

Rally Jackson:  I don't even want to hear it.  No, we're here because a little birdy told me that Eddie D and Trent Jones would be getting a workout in here soon.

Tuxedo Mask:  A little birdy?

Rally Jackson:  Ok you pried it out of me.  Nobody told me.  They're just meatheads on steroids, the odds are pretty good they'll be here.  I doubt they frequent the opera in their spare time.

Tuxedo Mask:  How do you know it will be this gym in particular?  

Rally Jackson:  I sprinkled Turinabol around the perimeter of the gym.  I figured they'd pick up the scent.

Tuxedo Mask:  Good call, so what are we going to sneak attack them?

Rally Jackson:  No, you idiot.  That would be assault.  It's against the law.  

Tuxedo Mask:  It's pro wrestling.  People do it all the time.  I think the rule of thumb is assault is okay as long as there's a camera crew.

Rally Jackson:  All the same, we will have plenty opportunity to beat the bull sperm out of them at the Snack Cup.  Today, my friend we are going to do a little more hazing.

[An evil look appears across Rally's face as he crosses out the 100 lb. weights and scribbles in 300.]

Rally Jackson: ::sinister laugh::  I hope you're ready to push yourself to the limits Mr. D.

Tuxedo Mask:  Rally, I want no part in this.  Hazing is a form of bullying and can be dangerous.  What if Eddie and Trent took less of their steroids this morning with their coffee and can't lift this much.

Rally Jackson:  Through steroids all things are possible.

Tuxedo Mask:  But what if they're running low and can't do it man!  What f it was a bad batch?  This is madness!

[Rally Jackson heads over to the cardio equipment.]

Rally Jackson:  Maybe I can wire it so that it goes too fast.

[Rally begins working at the machine like he's a real technician.]

Rally Jackson:  Wait, these two do not look like they do a lot of cardio.

Tuxedo Mask:  Right and you look like a regular Richard Simmons.

Rally Jackson:  How'd your match against the Psychotic Goof go?  I bet you lost.

Tuxedo Mask:  I did about as well as you did.

Rally Jackson:  Hey that wasn't my fault.  Their team name is misleading as fuck.  I thought we were fighting Jacks, Clay and Opie.  I thought for sure all we would've needed to do to win was cut a deal with the cartel.

Now let's see.  What else can we do to this place.

[Rally masturbates into the protein powder.]

Rally Jackson:  I'll give you some liquid to cut that with.

Tuxedo Mask:  So for beating you in a match your big revenge scheme is to give them aids?

Rally Jackson:  It's like this Tux.  You and I, just spent some time at the gym.  So I'm counting that as a workout.  We got our workout in, we're ready for this match.  We may not be destroying out bodies with super expensive performance enhancers....

Tuxedo Mask:  Sugar is your ped...

Rally Jackson:  We don't got the sauce but we got the heart.  We got the brains.  We will outsmart them when they go into roid rage.

Tuxedo Mask:  But Rally, what will we do if they go into roid rage?

Rally Jackson:  We have to destroy the brains and make sure they don't bite us.  Then and only then do we have a chance.

Tuxedo Mask:  But what if....

Rally Jackson:  What if their roids turn them into Super Mario on invincibility mode?  Well I thought of that too.  Invincibility mode only lasts so long.  We wait them out.

Trust me Tux.  Have I ever let you down?

Tuxedo Mask:  No, but I wonder what Jonnie and Syb would say if asked that question.

Rally Jackson:  Where the hell are those guys anyway?  They never invite us out anywhere anymore.

Tuxedo Mask:  Social distancing.

[edwarddubin0604]

(Team Fairtex is in the medical area getting checked out along with their wives The Hired Killers. Despite the pain Team Fairtex's expressions and the look in their eyes show hey aren't going to be through with the competitors as Glamourous Glenda enters.)

Glamourous Glenda: "Team Fairtex your thoughts about what just happened ten minutes ago."

Tong Fairtex: "You know whatour father once said Glenda. He always told us never and I mean never ever take a dive for anyone. He told us never, never ever take a fall for anyone and most of all to never ever and I mean never lay down and lose so someone else takes a cheap victory! KGB you found out we don't take a dive for anyone and we mean anyone!"

Phantam Fairtex: "You know KGB you remind us of that piece of trash named Trendkiller! Yeah he screwed us in the XPW! He conned us into joining him and we covered his fucking ass when everyone was coming after him! Then that piece of shit not only threw us out of the Thredkiller Syndicate! He had us unceremoniously fired from the XPW because he decided to go into one of his immature baby tantrums and guess what happened! Yeah no sooner did we get fired XPW folded so I guess we lucked out that that fuck hole is out of a job at XPW along with all the other wrestlers because of that piece of trash!"

(They wince in pain as the medics tape their ribs but it only motivates them.)

Tong Fairtex: "Imagine for close to a year we were covering your sorry asses KGB! We helped Frostbite get a victory over his old buddies! We saved that losers ass when he was getting beat down by his buddies after he was humiliated by them! Our wives were assisting you Don Joanne Cannelli when you needed it the most and when Phantam's wife Kim returned your title to you and told you about what Commissioner Zoran told her! She was wiling to take your punishment like a real woman! Yet you wanted us to take a fall because 'Timeless' and that bitch couldn't even beat us! Were you scared of that KGB! Well you blew your chance didn't you and whatever trouble you get into! We aren't going to bail your sorry asses out!"

Phantam Fairtex: "You know Psychotic Goth was right and we didn't listen to him! Well I guess his curse was real after all and KGB was falling apart and look what happened! You know brother we have some other business we have to handle besides KGB!"

(Their expressions become even more meaner nd much dangerous.)

Tong Fairtex: "Yeah Satan's Disciples you still want a piece of us! You want to try and beat us down the cheap way during this tournament! Well come and try and show how much of a bunch of cowards you are! When the Anzac Cup was announced you had every shot at being one of the group of sixteen but you screwed yourselves out of that chance and decided to beat up Ultra Kira! You decided to take the cowards way and beat people up! You want a match to show you're loss to us was a fluke!
Tell you what Satan's Disciples anytime and anyplace we'll meet you in the ring and settle this once and for all! Will that make you happy!"

Phantam Fairtex: "Yeah it probably would unless those two poor excuses for goal posts try to deliver their answer during the Anzac Cup! Well let's hear your answer since we have real business to attend to involving the Anzac Cup and we'll fit you in or schedule with the KGB too. So KGB we're not through with you yet but right now we have a second cup to win and pain or no pain we're not laying down for no one and we mean no one!"

(Team Fairtex slowly gets off the table.)

Medic: "You're not fully taped up."

Tong Fairtex: "Pains our motivator and we're going to take it out on everyone we face in the second round."

Glamourous Glenda: "What if the doctor refuses to allow you to wrestle."

Phantam Fairtex: "We don't know what pain is Glamourous Glenda and never will. Team Fairtex is going to fight it's way to the Anzac Cup. We were underdogs going in at 2017 and we're going to be again and we're going to be two time Anzac Cup Champions. SWAT's honor is on the line and we're going to defend SWAT's honor."

Tong Fairtex: "We also have scores to settle starting with the KGB if they still are in the tournament. Then there's Bloodied Zen Romance and Radu Matei if we get that chance!"

Glamourous Glenda: "Well I wish you luck and hope you win."

Tong Fairtex: "Thanks. Let's go brother and kick some ass."

Phantam Fairtex: "Right behind you brother."

(Team Fairtex leaves as does The Hired Killers.)

Glamourous Glenda: "Well Team Fairtex is more fired up than ever before. Back to you."

(The scene slowly fades to black.)

[thejerseydevildiva]

Act 1: Loyalty Above All

Without loyalty, you won't accomplish anything.

YoungBoy Never Broke Again

The scene opens on the backstage area of the arena. We see a few stage hands moving around keeping things neat while the show goes on. We soon see Joanne and her boys walking down the hallway after her match with a smile planted on her dark lips. She rounds the corner, and runs into Glenda as she does.

GG: Miss Canelli. Congrats on the first win of the night!

Joanne: Thank you.

GG: You and Frostbite make a great team.

Joanne: That we do, and now that we have gotten rid of the weak link we can make the KGB even stronger then before.

GG: And what about team Fairtex? And Jade and Kim?

Joanne looks down at the floor, and sighs shaking her head.

Joanne: Well considerin' last show Jade kept the secret from me... And then to defend their husbands earlier... Well... I think their loyalty isn't where it should be...

GG: Fierce and Frostbite seem to be loyal.

Joanne: And Timeless and Roxy are as well. I know where their loyalties lie.

GG: In the next round you will be facing off against Team Fairtex. What you do you think your chances are now?

Joanne: Really? You have to ask me that? Look at what happened and what we did to Soutter and Fierce before he turned on his partner! Our chances are just as good as they were earlier this evenin'. If Fairtex thinks they can take Frostbite and I down then they can come at us with everythin' that they have. I'm not goin' down that easy. They'll learn their place tonight one way or another!

GG: Those are some strong words.

Joanne: Yeah they are. And I'm standin' by them. Now if you excuse me I have a few thin's to do before my next match.

GG: Good luck.

Joanne smirks.

Joanne: WE don't need the luck, Team Fairtex will need it a lot more then we will.

She walks off with the boys following behind. They soon reach the locker room, as Joanne turns to the boys.

Joanne: Find Frostbite, Fierce, Roxy and Timeless. We need to have a little chat.

Rude: Sure thing boss. Are you going to be alright?

Joanne: I'll be fine.

Joanne walks into the locker room as the boys walk off to find the others as the scene fades to black.

[radu]

(Fangs flash. Blood flows. Crimson droplets drip down porcelain skin. The curves of the form are almost as appealing as the violence is perverse. A wave of darkness offers a seductive calm, save for the beasts lurking within. Glowing red eyes and razor sharp teeth emerge from the menacing blackness, rushing forwards.)


(In short, the same shit that Radu Matei always sees when he closes his eyes.)


(Normally opening eyelids is enough to cast away the horrors of the soul, light reacquainting the SWAT Dixie legend with reality – but the events of the rumble robbed him of that strategy. Since then Matei has been trapped inside his own mind, bed ridden, fed by tubes – prey to the visions. Mere months felt like an eternity. That is a long time to be left with your own thoughts. All that time completely dedicated to contemplating vengeance, and to letting the hatred fester. Would he emerge from the cocoon as a majestic butterfly, or something all together worse? That remains to be seen. Yet a metamorphosis has definitely occurred.)


“When previously this angry, I almost lost my way, before redirecting that fury into positive endeavours.”


(Grey irises dilate under the intensity of a sunny day, before focusing on an impressive tourist attraction.)


(The statue of Decebalus.)




(Despite its ancient trappings, the tallest rock relief in Europe was only constructed in the nineties, with the final king of Dacia’s face being completed in 2004. Underneath the shadow of the nationalistic monument, Radu Matei kneels on the shores of the Danube. Reconnecting with his heritage, Radu enjoys the sights from his native Romania’s side of the Iron Gates. A few feet from the Danube, the last time the former world champion was this close to a waterway, Zoran Sainovic and Alex Turner were dumping his unconscious body into the Brooklyn River. As relaxing as the splashing waves are, the memory is still very real for Radu. His proximity to it is uncomfortable for him, but also therapeutic. A tourist hotbed, this scenic location would not normally be the best place to gather one’s thoughts. Yet Deathless is alone.)



Radu Matei <tired smile>: SWAT. It has been so long that perhaps introductions are in order?



(Finding a clear spot amongst the rocky ground, Matei produces a purple bundle. A heavy clothe wrapped around some heavy objects. Unfurrowing the purple material onto the ground, it acts as a mat for he broken pieces of stone found inside. It’s hard to make out what the rubble could have formed, but the similar shading of the stones indicate that they were part of a larger whole. Reaching into his coat pocket, Matei produces a jar filled with a clear liquid. Bug thoraxes stuck to the surface suggest some form of adhesive substance extracted from insect secretions.)



Radu Matei: At one point, I was this companies’ foundation.



(Reaching down, Matei lifts up one of the larger stones, which appears to be the base. After displaying its various angles to illustrate his point, Matei grips it firmer with his left hand while producing a small brush with his right. Dipping the brush into the jar, Matei begins to lather the side of the rock with the unknown substance. Attempting to piece it together while speaking on his current situation.)



Radu Matei: Amusingly ironic, as my earliest appearances were as SWAT’s would be destroyer.



(Picking up another piece, Matei forces it against the base – pressing them into place.)



Radu Matei: I was a member of SWAT’s Dixie region. A much smaller pond than the lofty heights of the main brand, but the weather was warm, beer cold, fans loyal, and the talent worked hard - content in the fact that they were living their dream. We were a family, and I could have happily spent the remainder of my in-ring career down in Dixie. Sadly in an effort to bolster the “main” federation prior to its entry into the XHF family, general manager Lynn Brewster, shuttered all the other regions. Forced out of my home, I decided to dedicate my life to making her regret that decision. Over the course of accomplishing this task, I captured SWAT’s world heavyweight title – and with it, found a new purpose.



(Though fragile, the pieces appear to be sticking. Slowly letting up on the pressure, Radu again applies the substance, repeating the process for a third piece.)



Radu Matei: See amongst Brewster’s many oversights, was creating a hostile and unprofessional atmosphere where people who should have been enhancing talent in dark matches, were not only making it to television airtime, but being put in positions where they could win titles. <sigh> Hell’s Bouncer is no longer around to defend himself. I am not going to tarnish his memory with further barbs, as anything that needs to be said, has been. Essentially, Brewster put him in a position where he could become our world champion. Apparently Tum was busy that day.

Stein. Tanner. Viper.

Not a lot of men have claimed to be SWAT’s world champion, so the person that the title had found itself on, was rather insulting. Be it in the region of Dixie or the grand international stage, this was SWAT. It meant something.

So from ending Brewster, my new mission became rehabilitating the image of our big gold strap.

What makes a good belt? A good champion.

And what is that? Quality of their work? Consistency of their victories? How they carry the brand? Every night, I was tossing bags of cockroaches on guys – I’m not sure I could do much for that aspect of the companies’ image. Nah, I needed a different approach.

So I decided to elevate my opponents.



(While using one hand to apply pressure to the recently assembled pieces, Radu uses his free claw to point at the remaining pieces as he name drops his opponents.)


Radu Matei: Tong Fairtex is a great tag specialist, but people never seem to notice that he is consistently one of the top ranked singles competitors in the various incarnations of this company. Yeah, it’s funny to watch steam shoot out of Tong’s ears when you talk smack about The Shootfighter – because EVERYONE knows those are the buttons to push, and he can never hide it. His martial arts skills? Those are no joke. How to get that across? I let him spend forty minutes karate chopping my face into hamburger. I still walked out the champion, but no one who watches that bloodbath will doubt that Tong is a SCARY MONSTER – or the pride I feel for surviving that encounter.

Alex Turner is a pretty horrible person. I know everyone writes him off as only getting television airtime because teenage boys enjoy his wife’s antics, but if he ever pulled the trigger he’d be a force to be reckoned with. Oh, he can drop a building on me, but when it comes to Goth, he pulls his punches. Point is between the comedy and the raunchy interplay, it’s easy to look past Turner. I almost broke his wife’s neck for him to take the world title seriously, but he did... showed us all a side of him, that many didn’t think he was capable of. Alex Turner was always a title contender, but I clued him into it. So Timeless might make everything a joke, but don’t you dare sleep on him. ...Because if unconscious in his presence, Alex will toss you into a large body of water.

I gave an honest assessment of Syberus character. Encouraged him to grow in some meaningful way, instead of the usually snarky prizefighter bullshit he’s been pulling since the mid-00s. You know, the kind of guy that acts like the biggest dick in a fed, but because he stands next to Johnny Valentine people give him a pass as some sort of fan favourite. The point is, after our encounter, not only did he take my suggestion of personal growth to heart – he’s been 10 percent better ever since.

Making your challengers BETTER, even if they lose. Not just another notch on your defences tally. Valentine could have taken some notes from my reign.



(Jade. Frostbite. Canelli. Brewster. Maddox. Of the record setting ten epic defenses, only one is beneath mentioning. Only a few more broken pieces.)


Radu Matei: Make the strap stronger, and the federation prosper though my pain and suffering. Polish the belt with my blood. Absorb all the barbs and arrows, acting as a protective wall for the federation I cared about. Becoming a living effigy for abuse, so that SWAT could prosper. That is what it meant to be the Sacrificial Idol.

Arcs. The first was to run out Brewster. The second was to restore the belt. The third was to end Pesci’s reign of irresponsible terror. Sadly, I went to the well one too many times. In trying to stomp out Sainovic’s poison, my luck, and my body finally ran out.



(Deathless waves a hand at the remaining shattered pieces of stone.)


Radu Matei: There are a number of reasons for this trip down memory lane, which all bring me to tonight.


(Having reached the Anzac Cup that looms so heavily over his comeback, rough hands start working furiously to glue the smaller pieces to the statue.)



Radu Matei: Battle Bowl. A record setting World Title run. The Helloween Cup. Headlining both New Year’s Nightmare and the Adrian Tanner Memorial, which meant a great deal. Along the way, I picked up a number of trophies including wrestler of the year. It is safe to say that my short time with SWAT has been an embarrassment of riches. Even if my 2020 has been paying for my 2019 successes.

The only accomplishment that remains...






The Anzac Cup.






My 2019 Anzac Cup occurred right after I joined the company. I called in some favours and brought in a future SWAT Hall of Famer, “The Industrial Man” Attila Balan to be my surprise partner. I-Man IS a big deal, and with him on my side, we were guaranteed victory. Only it didn’t happen.

Despite having a VASTLY inferior tag partner, Timeless Alex Turner managed to hand me my ONLY pinfall defeat in 2019, on his way to claiming the Cup. Like I said, if you ignore Timeless, he will literally attempt murder.

So the Anzac represents a pretty big mark against my record. It’s the one accomplishment that has managed to allude me. Making matters worse, I was in much better physical shape this time last year. So the Cup represents my Everest, which is getting higher by the minute. I have to climb it, at the same time, if I can’t pull this off – who knows if my health will let me participate in next year’s edition? There is a lot riding on this.



(The camera pans around Deathless, just as he looks up at Decebalus.)



Radu Matei: Dixon wasn’t the only thriving region to be shuttered by Lynn Brewster, right before SWAT joined the XHF, its Amazon division was without equal. The women worked hard, the writers, the officials, the programs they were putting out were without equal. You would think that merging their division into the main would get more eyes on their superior product, but it was the beginning of the end.

The 2019 tournament featured almost as many female competitors as male. Establishing that intergender matches were the new status quo, and the Amazons could more than hold their own against any man in SWAT.

...I don’t believe any of them made it out of the first round.

Much like my defeat, last years tournament represented a turn in fortunes.

While mine began to thrive, the Amazon division faltered.

Were their other contributing factors?

Lynn Brewster running off talent like Shannon Damage in favour of Hell’s Bouncer, while promoting her own family? <cold tone> Joanne Canelli using her KGB connections to create a stranglehold on the championship, which rendered any upwards movement impossible for new blood? The Pan-Am title being one strap too many as the Amazons ventured out after the world, making the few members of the vanishing division without championships bitter? Joe Pesci being the single most sexist monster on earth? Suzi Spitz being a lame duck champion that told little girls everywhere they would be far better off learning how to cook? Trent Jones making comments about women so vulgar that I managed to forget how much I dislike Suzi Spitz? Even little things... like management pushing Trent Jones to the moon, despite the fact that his brand of crass humour would turn off any perspective Amazon?





I’m sure those were all factors.

Last year, half the tournament was female – this year, we only have three.

I have always tried to do what I felt was best for SWAT, and from what I’ve seen, that means setting the Amazon ablaze. It was a unique and special part of our company, which made it stand out. Much like the actual Amazon it currently faces extinction. We have an opportunity here, to turn back the clock.

(Finished, Deathless raises the stone sculpture up in one hand.)

(The statue is not quite a man, demon, or bug, yet in an abstract way, you feel that it is an effigy that resembles the man that holds it. Insect paste isn’t perfectly flush, and parts of the statue are slightly out of alignment, while others look ready to slide off. Even though it has seen better days, The Sacrificial Idol is once again complete.)

Radu Matei: I know it seems to be in better condition, but there is no telling how long I will hold out.

My second world title defence was against Lucky Linda. A woman whose passion for the sport knows no rival. Early in our encounter, I gave her what should have been a career ending injury. Yet despite an inability to move her legs, Linda fought back, almost taking it to a broadway, and convincing every single fan in attendance that she would be the first female world champion. She should have been. It was without a doubt the feel good SWAT match of the year, along with picking up the hardware for being the ACTUAL SWAT match of the year.

That night Linda won my respect.

Of all the people I sacrificed my health for, she was the only one that recognized what the defences were costing me.

I believe firmly, that for us to restart the Amazon division, and show SWAT as a bastion of equality – that history needs to be rewritten, casting aside the embarrassment of 2019, and having an Amazon WIN this tournament.





Lucky Linda is JUST the Amazon to do it.




And I will have my body absorb everything you can throw at us, to see her reach that goal.

(As Matei ends the interview with promises of a masochistic symphony, the camera pulls in for a close-up on the strange statue.)

“The Sacrificial Idol returns.”

[SWAT Team]

(The show returns from spots for Australia's Bureau of Tourism, Team Fairtex modelling Anzac Cup merchandise and a spot for the official Anzac Cup Tournament program before returning to ringside where ringsiders are holding signs saying "Linda + Radu=SWAT Classic!," "La Famiglia's all Family!," "Classic Bugs!" and "Gorgeous Greg's All in La Famiglia!" before fading to the broadcast booth where Jeremy Tucker and Andrew Fulton are sitting wearing headsets.)

Jeremy Tucker: "Welcome back to the fourth annual Anzac Cup and so far there's been plenty of smack talk between the teams and The KGB turning on their leader Soutter."

Andrew Fulton: "Yeah Fierce does it again and now both The Hired Killers and Team Fairtex gone fromt he KGB also. Meanwhile Bloodied Zen Romance are running around bragging about their overblown reputations and their XHF Global and AWF Tag Team Championships as if they run the place and are trashing our lowly promotion."

Jeremy Tucker: "Well they are double tag team champions and have the right to be proud of the honor but you're right about them putting the host promotion down like they did."

Andrew Fulton: "I hope those two sexual freaks get beaten down by Satan's Disciples. Then again they'll be accused of attempting to gay bash the competition. Anyway, these two jerks are the poster boys for the condom industry or better the excuse for using condoms."

Jeremy Tucker: "I thought you were the poster boy for the condom industry."

Andrew Fulton: "Hell they couldn't pay me enough to be their spokesman."

Jeremy Tucker: "I guess if it was the adult film industry you would jump at the chance."

Andrew Fulton: "Only if I get to love make out with the top stars and we're talking official spokesperson."

Jeremy Tucker: "Of course you would just love that."

Andrew Fulton: "OH I sure would."

Jeremy Tucker: "Anyway, geting to this Anzac First Round Match involves SWAT Classic made up of 'Lucky' Linda La Fey and Radu Matei as they face off against Gorgeous Greg's protégés La Famiglia."

Andrew Fulton: "La Famiglia has a very bright future in SWAT if Gorgeous Greg discovered these two men and if it's Gorgeous Greg managing them. They are as good as gold too. They made a great debut but lost to another tournament entry K-Jax and Lunchbox Larry. La Famiglia still has a chance at redemption as they face off against SWAT Classic Radu Matei and 'Lucky' Linda La Fey."

Jeremy Tucker: "'Lucky' Linda La Fey and Radu Matei share a common bond because of their hatred towards Commissioner Zoran. Linda wants revenge for his stiffing her out of the $2million dollars and Radu Matei wants revenge for Zoran's dumping him at the bottom of the Hudson river."

Andrew Fulton: "That's even more extra motivation for SWAT Classic. Radu wants Commissioner Zoran to hand the Anzac Cup to him personally and Linda wants him to hand over that two million smackers and they both want to rub it in. Hell even Timeless has a grudge against Zoran for screwing him."

Jeremy Tucker: "Zoran sure knows how to make friends. However, right now let's go to the ring for the introductions for this truly interesting tag team match."

Frank Salazar: "This next Anzac Cup First Round Match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first from Dublin, Ireland. She comes in at 5'5" and weighs in at 131lbs. She is 'The Heart and Soul of SWAT' and leader of Team SWAT and one half of SWAT Classic. Please welcome 'Lucky' Linda La Fey."

("Ready to Go” plays and "Lucky" Linda La Fey storms out, she stops at the rampway and out behind her comes Radu Matei, they do a double pose and then make their way down to ringside slapping hands with the fans. They enter the ring and do a double pose on the turnbuckles and the fans go wild."]

Frank Salazar: "Now introducing from Sibiu, Romania. He comes in at 6'2" and weighs in at 234lbs. He is the former SWAT Heavyweight Champion and is known as 'The Sacrificial Idol,' Deathless, Unbreakable M, and 'The Beast of Dixie.' Please welcome Radu Matei!!!"

Frank Salazar: Now introducing from Milan, Italy they come in at a total combined weight of 448lbs. They are led to the ring by Gorgeous Greg Please welcome Antonio Rossi and Stefan Esposito. They are La Famiglia."

(Gorgeous Greg leads Stefano Esposito and Antonio Rossi out to a huge ovation. They hug and hit each other on the chest. They shout "Andriamo!" as "Con Te Partiro" by Andrea Bocelli then the pyros explode. Rossi and Esposito jog down to the ring giving high fives to the fans. An overzealous Australian fan hugs Gorgeous Greg.)

Jeremy Tucker: "La Famiglia is going to have their hands full with SWAT Classic but they could pull off an upset. The bell rings and this match is underway. Stefano Esposito starts off for La Famiglia and 'Lucky' Linda La Fey starts off for her team."

Andrew Fulton: "They lock up and Stefano forces Linda into the ropes. He backs off and they lock up again and Linda takes Stefano over in a side headlock takedown. She grinds it in and both make their way back to their feet and she takes him down again. Stefano counters with a head scissors and both kip up to the ringsiders approval."

Jeremy Tucker: "They lock up and Stefano goes behind and takes Linda down and rides her into the ropes. The referee counts and he releases her and backs off. Gorgeous Greg shouts instructions and encouragement as they lock up again. Stefano whips Linda into the ropes but she ducks a clothesline."

Andrew Fulton: "Linda comes off the ropes with a flying body press for a one count. She dropkicks Sefano followed by a second and a third one sending him out of the ring. Gorgeous Greg and La Famiglia regroup and are talking strategy and he consoles Stefano before he returns to the ring."

Jeremy Tucker: "Stefano tags in Antonio and Linda is ready but Antonio dares Linda to tag in Radu Matei. She pauses and looks around to milk the crowd and the ringsiders roar with approval and they want to see him tagged in. She goes over and she does and Radu enters the match and Antonio stares fearlessly at him."

Andrew Fulton: "Antonio's either fearless and brainless or completely clueless and brainless and looking for a death wish. They lock up and Radu forces him into the ropes and they manoeuvre for position until Radu traps him in a corner."

Jeremy Tucker: "Radu forearm shivers Antonio and delivers a series of vicious forearms to Antonio's chest before whipping him into the opposite corner. He whips Antonio into the opposite corner and charges in but Antonio counters with a vicious clothesline out of the corner."

Andrew Fulton: "Antonio's risking the possibility of the bubonic plaque since Radu's all bug infested. He mounts and ground and pounds 'The Sacrificial Idol' before stomping on him relentlessly as Gorgeous Greg shouts encouragement."

Jeremy Tucker: "Antonio responds as he opens up a can of whoop ass before tagging in Stefano. They proceed to double team Radu who fights his way out their corner and then headbutts Stefano and then one for Antonio also, he cracks both the heads together in a double noggin knocker and goes to his corner and tags in Linda."

Andrew Fulton: "Linda charges in and clotheslines Stefano and delivers a forearm to Antonio. She gores Stefano and pounds her chest before dropping a series of fists onto his head and makes the cover for a close two count."

Jeremy Tucker: "Linda whips Stefano into the corner and train wrecks him. She backs up again and delivers another train wreck and follows it with a choke before kicking and stomping Stefano relentlessly as he slumps into a corner."

Andrew Fulton: "Linda roars and beats her chest as she charges and bronco busters him in the corner though not as good as Roxylishus. She attempts to dropkick him but Stefano rolls out of the way. He desperately makes his way to his corner as Gorgeous Greg urges him on and lunging tags Antonio in."

Jeremy Tucker: "Antonio tackles Linda and pulls her to the center of the ring. He stomps on her other leg before kicking the leg he's holding before cinching in a figure four. Antonio has it in tight as he applies pressure on that leg."

Andrew Fulton: "You can tell Gorgeous Greg's beaming with pride seeing that his tag team is surprising everyone. Radu just stormed in to make the save with an unwanted diving knee to Antonio's head not that Linda would submit. Linda's slow to get up as she crawls to her corner."

Jeremy Tucker: "Stefano makes the tag and storms in grabbing Linda's leg as she makes her way to her feet. She counters with an enzigiuri and makes her way to Radu and tags him in. Radu starts stomping away on Stefano. 'The Sacrificial Idol' now returns the ground and pound on Stefano."

Andrew Fulton: "He must have smelled bug spray and disinfectant since he's acting like a maniac. Radu Clotheslines Antonio off the ring apron and clotheslines Stefano as well. He whips Stefano into a corner and charges in with another clothesline."

Jeremy Tucker: "The look in his eyes show it and he's unleashing a can of whoop ass on Stefano. He chokes Stefano with his boot before viciously giving his face a brutal boot wash."

Andrew Fulton: "Brutal is being too kind to Radu. It's downright vicious and sadistic with this lunatic, he just likes to inflict pain, let’s be honest shall we.”

Jeremy Tucker: "Radu whips Stefano into the ropes and power slams and wastes no time dropping down and does The Caterpillar as the ringsiders roar in anticipation as Radu drops an elbow onto Stefano's chest."

Andrew Fulton: "Radu makes the cover.....One....Two....No! Antonio makes the save and Linda comes in and dropkicks him out of the ring. She bounds into the ropes and flies over Air Linda to wipe him out."

Jeremy Tucker: "Radu whips Stefano into the corner and stinger splashes him. He throws him out of the corner and cinches in a scorpion deathlock in the center of the ring."

Andrew Fulton: "Stefano desperately attempts to get to the ropes as Gorgeous Greg urges him on. Radu pulls him back to the center and applies even more pressure as he bends backwards Stefano tries and reverses the scorpion deathlock."

Jeremy Tucker: "Radu's in pain as Stefano is applying pressure to his back and bends backwards like Radu was doing to him moments ago. Radu desperately makes his way to the ropes and barely makes it. Stefano waits before releasing the hold. He waits and applies a camel clutch in the center of the ring and he's pulling backwards still working on Radu's neck and back. The referee checks to see if Radu submits but he refuses."

Andrew Fulton: "Why doesn't La Famiglia just spray Radu with a can of Raid or better yet a can of DDT and he'll give up in no time. Radu slowly makes his way to his feet and drops down forcing Stefano to release the hold."

Jeremy Tucker: "Both are down and slow to crawl to their corners."

Andrew Fulton: "Please don't say crawl when it comes to Radu Matei. He'll feel inspired to do The Caterpillar and tag Linda in."

Jeremy Tucker: "Well she and Stefano tag at once and both Linda and Antonio charge in at once. They exchange punches and Linda gets the better of the exchange. Linda whips and Antonio reverses the whip and she ducks a clothesline and comes off the opposite ropes with a dropkick."

Andrew Fulton: "Stefano charges in with a clothesline but Radu gores him and throws him out of the ring. Linda and Radu whip Antonio and double clotheslines Antonio and Linda covers the wrong man."

Jeremy Tucker: "The referee makes the count for a close two. Linda whips Antonio into the corner and charges in with a running knee to his chest. She backs up and does it again and a third time."

Andrew Fulton: "The referee's completely clueless to allow the wrong partners to remain in the ring. Linda dropkicks Antonio into the ropes and executes a second one sending him out of the ring.

Jeremy Tucker: "One of the rare times we agree Andrew. Stefano gets a running start and wipes out Linda. Here comes Radu and he flies like.....Well you know like a pest that lands on someone's skin."

Andrew Fulton: "You finally came around to what I was saying all along."

Jeremy Tucker: "I was speaking metaphorically and not literally."

Andrew Fulton: "Tell Radu that when he watches the highlights. Linda returns to the ring as does Stefano and still the wrong people are in the ring. Can that no brained idiot please tell us who's actually in the ring."

Jeremy Tucker: "Stefano DDT's Linda and makes the cover....One....Two.....Th....No! Linda gets shoulder up. On the outside Radu delivers a backbreaker to Antonio before throwing him into the ringside seats. He attempts to suplex her but she floats over and counters with an inverted DDT of her own. She makes the cover....One....Two....Thr.....No! Stefano gets a shoulder up."

Andrew Fulton: "Linda waits in a corner and does a countdown and she executes a brogue kick and Stefano's out but Linda's shaking her head no saying it's not over yet. She goes to the corner again and waits as Stefano is slow to get up. Linda raises her fingers and makes the countdown. She charges and executes a Claymoore Kick and makes the cover as Radu restrains Antonio.....One....Two....Three."

Frank Salazar: "Your winner at 10minutes and 40seconds SWAT Classic."

Jeremy Tucker: "SWAT Classic moves on to the next round of the Anzac Cup in what could be considered a much more competitive match than expected."

Andrew Fulton: "Gorgeous Greg enters the ring and gets in the referees face, and Radu walks up and stands behind him, Greg looks around with an “oh shit” look and Radu drills him with a thrust kick to the head. He then raises the arm of Linda as “ready to o” blares thru the arena.

(They slowly fade to commercials.)

[edwarddubin0604]

(Team Fairtex and The Hired Killers are in the locker room keeping themselves loose and despite the pain they don't show it and in reality they seem to be more motivated by it. The door opens and Warren W. Webber comes in and Team Fairtex feels even more motivated to take it out on someone.)

Tong Fairtex: "What do you want now Warren."

WWW: "Did you know you're second round opponents are Frostbite and Don Joanne Cannelli."

(Phantam smashes his fists looking meaner than he usually is.)

Tong Fairtex: "Yeah we were hoping to help eliminate The KGB from the tournament and then go on to face all the others to win the Anzac Cup."

WWW: "Isn't that looking ahead."

Phantam Fairtex: "Looking ahead. You want to know who's looking ahead. It's Dunce Joanne Cannelli and Wendy Frosty. You see those two are the last of The KGB in this tournament. These two are the ones with a big and I mean a real big target on their backs. Let's start with the Don since she has Linda to deal with and she's been wanting a shot at Joanne fr sometime now. Then you have out wives The Hired Killers. Yeah Joanne they tried to warn you about what Zoran was trying to do and couldn't find you until the last minute. Oh and Kim did return your precious championship and apologized and took her punishment like a real woman not like a bitch like you. So you have our wives to also deal with as well."

Kim: "I should have kept it but my sister wanted to do what was right and I did and I took my punishment without complaining unlike you who needs help from your hired family of mob muscle heads who have to save your asses."

Phantam Fairtex: "Then there's you Wendy Frosty, 'The Cold Hearted Bastard,' who can't even win matches against credible opponents and turned his back and screwed his buddies. We saved your ass twice Frosty but this time we won't be saving your ass. We're going to be the ones kicking and beating you down with no regrets whatsoever."

Tong Fairtex: "Then there's the fsct that Bruno walked out on you and now we know why. It was because you're over sized ego and lack of brains to accuse him of not following orders when he was the one who was assisting you. Hell he didn't even want to be your bodyguard let alone associate with you. Yet Soutter insisted and that was a mistake he regretted doing so but made it up by leaving your sorry ass to it's fate. We should have did the same but hey we cared. No more Frosty. This time we're going to hand your sorry ass and Joanne's sorry ass to The KGB."

WWW: "You know they're already plotting your demise in the tournament."

Tong Fairtex: "No kidding Warren. Is there anything else that's new with The KGB. We know Joanne's going to want to deploy her mob muscle heads Scallopini, Rudy Poo and Garbanzo to help her along with that second runner up 'Time's Up' Alex Turner and Rocks in her Ass Roxylishus to save her team's asses. Come and try it and see what's going to happen when we hand your asses to you."

Phantam Fairtex: "Oh it's going to be so not pretty. You started this fight KGB and we're going to finish this no matter how long it takes to put you down like the dogs you are. Hell all of SWAT's probably going to want your asses on poles and that incudes you Cannelli. I bet everyone wants to see if you turn into ashes and blow away like the blood thirsty vampire you are."

Jade: "Linda and that other woman showed you what you really are."

Tong Fairtex: "So I guess that's what we're going to do to you Joanne and Frosty. Don't expect any mercy and we're not in the mood for giving it. So the worst of luck Krass Goon Babies and see you in the ring. Interview over."

(They leave the locker room as Warren W. Webber watches them.)

WWW: "Well Team Fairtex doesn't look intimidated by The KGB and there seems to be no backing down or going back. Back to you."

(The scene slowly fades to black.)

[vastrix]

We find Kerry Davis laying on a bench press and pressing up the bar. It’s a weight set that Kerry had found in Tarrasque’s dressing room. We’re close up to Kerry’s face so we can’t see how much weight exactly that he’s lifting, though we can tell that he’s sweating profusely so that it must be a lot of weight that he’s working hard to lift.

Davis: I have to work hard if I’m going to defeat Jonnie Valentine and Syberus. They think that they have the clear advantage, but they wrong. Jonnie doesn’t know how much I have progressed in my training over the years since leaving Hardkore World. They also don’t know how talented you are, Han. You are a talented wrestler. Right?

The camera view pans back to reveal that Han Dzee is helping Kerry Davis lift a barbell totally devoid of weights having been added to it. Kerry isn’t sweating so much as being drooled upon by Han Dzee as the pervert looks upon Kerry’s crotch.

Han: The name is Dzee, man. I don’t sit around calling you Davis.

Davis: Right. Sorry, Dzee, I forgot. You Chinese and your weird backward names. Did anyone tell you that you have a drooling problem? Maybe you could wipe my face off.

Han: Right away.

Han Dzee releases the bar and grabs a cloth from the nearby vanity. He attempts to wipe off Kerry’s forehead from the drool places upon it, but finds that Kerry is struggling to keep the bar up away from his throat.

Davis: A little help?

Han Dzee reaches down with one hand, helping lift the bar into the air to get it placed where it goes when not in use. He hands the cloth to Kerry, who uses it to wipe his face off and sit up.

Davis: You know, I wonder if Jonnie and Syberus are training right now? They probably are sitting someplace and thinking that this is going to be an easy match. They thinking “Oh, we only have to face Kerry Davis and Han Dzee. We won’t have to fight very hard against them.” They don’t know how hard this match is going to be.

Han Dzee smiles and places his hand on Kerry’s crotch.

Han: How hard is it?

Kerry sputters, goes to smack away Dzee’s hand and misses as Dzee pulls his hand away to smack himself in the nuts.

Davis: Ouch. What the fuck, Dzee? Grope them, not me!

Han: Oh, I forgot. How could I not forget with a package as amazing as yours?

Kerry actually blushes a little before remembering himself and slugging Han Dzee in the arm. Naturally, it didn’t hurt a lick.

Davis: Thanks, I think.

Han: You know what? You’re awesome.

Han Dzee hits Kerry Davis on the arm. No harder than Kerry hit Dzee as a matter of fact, but Kerry falls off of the bench from the impact. He strikes the back of his head on the bar, taking it down with him in a pile. He lays on the floor and laughs.

Davis: Save it for the ring, man! That’s gonna leave a mark, ya bruiser!

Han Dzee rubs the back of his head with an embarrassed grin.

Han: Guess I didn’t know my own strength there. You alright?

Kerry Davis stands up, brushing himself off with a laugh.

Davis: Yeah, I’m fine. Ready to face Jonnie and Syberus? Grab some crotches?

Han: You know I am.

[radu]

(A rainbow of colours running the thousand points of the spectrum between red and brown, bubble up and flake off in a grotesque tapestry that makes you fear that Trent Jones has once again sent you a dick pick. What a fine champion. As the image pulls out, you breathe a sigh of relief with the reveal of a mass of oxides on what was once an iron pipe.)


(Rust.)




(The grey irises of Deathless enter frame, focusing intensely on the eyesore. Radu Matei might have the best record of any competitor in the Anzac Cup, but given how long he has been out of the squared circle, its hard to tell what kind of competitor will actually show up for the tournament. Ring rust is a very real concern. Coming back from a serious injury, this might not be the same man that consistently wooed the SWAT faithful with his dependable masochistic streak. No matter how willing the spirit is, the flesh is rotting. Speaking of rot...)

#CLANG#

(A powerful hand clubs down on the pipe. Metallic dust fills the air, as grotesque bubbles crumble away. What portions of the pipe that can still vibrate, do, disturbing a swarm of cockroaches. Filthy, alien – the sight of the bugs run shivers down more than one viewer’s spine. Slower reflexes are still enough to scoop up a fistful of the squirming insects.)


“You spend three months in a hospital bed, and your pets end up eating each other. …So like us.”


(The videographer pulls out even further just as Radu Matei shoves the creepy crawlies into a sack. The ace of SWAT has always been uncomfortably circus geek like in his affinity for pests that are largely considered gross by the general public. More than one member of the marketing team has an enlarged ulcer from trying to explain why the human punching bag has been Syndicate’s most popular performer. Transitioning to a long shot sees Unbreakable M in a dank boiler room, trying to replenish his supply of victory gimmicks.)


Radu Matei <trying to keep bugs from scurrying out of the bag>: I know a lot of the fans... hell... all of us, are having a hard time distancing these days. The good news is... <looks up with a tired smile> SWAT has always excelled at isolation.


(Using his scared palm to lightly push a few escapees back in, Radu Matei quickly ties off the top of the bag. A fused neck slows his mobility, but the former world champion still scans his miserable surroundings for other treasure troves.)


Radu Matei: I know the grime, dirt, bugs, don’t really scream gold standard... but its important not to lose track of ourselves, even as our situations change. So despite specializing in throwing maggots into the audience for cheap heat, there became a point where I had to evolve into more than that. I tried to build myself up as this - gold standard.


Under Brewster’s administration, we lost a lot of talent, and during the early seasons our depth really didn’t stack up to other XHF affiliates. How do you get eyes on your product? How do you attract new talent? Exclusivity. We might not have the Dillingers or Vipers... but I was an absolute beast without compare. Double edged sword. See I would have loved to have mixed it up in the EOD, and tried my luck against some of the other XHF greats... but our sport takes the old adage of “Any Given Sunday” and applies it to every day of the week. I know nineteen times out of twenty, I can destroy Vincent Draven... but what if that twentieth time is the number that comes up?


The stars of SWAT... Linda... Tong... Frostbite... hell, even Syberus... their defeats all helped to build me up. If I steamrolled over the homestead, only for an outsider to get lucky? I don’t mind losing – those are the breaks… but I put myself in a position where a loss would reflect badly on all the broken bodies that came before. That wouldn’t be fair to them. All I could do was watch the XHF Network, enjoying all the other programs, and dream of kicking guys teeth down their throats. For the sake of the company, my hands were tied.


<shakes head> So I know all about social distancing.


(Kicking over a garage can, a few dozen centipedes scurry out. Producing a bottle from his trench coat pocket, The Beast of Dixie springs into action.)


Radu Matei: SWAT is my home. This is where I belong. But it started to become apparent that my presence was preventing the company from growing. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a big fish in a small pond. SWAT is an OCEAN, and we’re all SEA MONSTERS here. …But towards the end of last year, the same faces, were going through the same motions. Oh, Johnny Valentine was starting to move his entourage over, but that was no different than the SWAT retirees like CSK who show up for one show and have lost all stamina. It was important for me to take a step back...


...Before I could take that step back, focus on healing, and trust the company to guide itself, Zoran Sainovic and Timeless Alex Turner made the decision for me.


Out for almost five months.


That is a lot of time to be inactive.


In truth, I am worried about ring rust.


About still stacking up... will I have what it takes to mix it up with the hungry new mouths, or is my era over? I have real concerns about letting Linda and the fans down...


...at the same time...


(Collecting the last of the centipedes, Radu starts to slowly spin the cap back on the jar.)


Radu Matei: I’m like a kid in a candy store.


(The Sacrificial Idol lets the jar slide into his pocket, before slowly turning to the camera with a warm smile.)


Radu Matei: The talent that has arrived during my dormancy? I know Zoran takes all the credit, but its clearly not him, and I have to give a hand to Paul, Devlin and Anthony in HR for bringing in all these great names. I literally have goose bumps at some of the encounters that SWAT will be putting on.


(Deathless draws back one of his sleeves to reveal some pretty poisonous looking spiders, but if you can find a piece of soft tissue on his arm that doesn’t have severe burn marks, apparently there are goose bumps present.)


Radu Matei: I know some of them are only here for the Anzac, and my body won’t hold out long enough for another year long reign of terror, <raising withered claws> but damn <broad smile> if I don’t want to MANGLE each and every one of you.


(Shaking with excitement, Radu Matei is genuinely pleased at his potential hunts.)


Radu Matei: I have been catching up on programming between physical therapy appointments. It took me awhile to get around to the SWAT Rumble, which has some obviously bad memories associated with it. The main takeaway was a healthy blood lust for Sainovic and Turner, but after that rage subsided, another disappointment.


Anthony Caffrey was robbed.


Fortunately, the injustice was partially rectified with his recent XHF Rumble victory.


Congratulations Anthony, and welcome to SWAT.


I for one could not be more happy to have you as part of the federation. I wish the timing of this exchange had occurred prior to your championship victory, as its not the X*Crown that excites me, but the energy you bring to our company. I believe Zoran has already essayed your role in our seclusion, but I have no doubt that in the coming months you bring far more attention to SWAT than may have been cost by our initial interactions.


The way the brackets are shaping up, I suspect you will meet up with myself and Linda in the quarterfinals. That is a shame. I feel our encounter would make for a far more rewarding finale. I pity the teams that have to follow what I am sure will be an epic encounter. While not the singles match that our respective fans have been clamouring for, I never know when my injuries will finally catch up to me, so I’m not looking a gift horse in the mouth. Even if we represent half of a match, genuinely looking forwards to the exchanges.


Not that I am selling Sky Force short.


This is probably my only chance to test my mettle against Lord Dominicus, Bloody Zen Romance, and Tarrasque. Beyond the outside threats I must defend the Cup from, we also have SWAT contracted workers that started to cut names for themselves in my absence - Eddie D, K-Pax and Lunchbox, El Combatiente, Hayden Grayson, the returning James Fierce and Rally Jackson. Looking on the many new faces, confirms what a good space Syndicate Wrestling is in. It also lets me know that my mission – to support my partner’s Anzac chances in the hopes of revitalizing our Amazon division, is the right thing to do...


(Looking up at the ceiling, Deathless smiles as he recognizes the red pattern on the thorax of a black spider. With a little more care than his other acquisitions, Radu Matei quickly procures the black widow. A gift for Zoran Sainovic, should their paths cross during the course of the night.)


Radu Matei: I have hurt both Sainovic and Turner quite frequently. Willing myself back into fighting condition for the pleasure of hurting them further? It has been a tough road back. Oh, I’ll still plan on causing them a level of pain they never knew existed. Its still difficult coming to terms with the restrictions created by my injuries.


Yet… seeing all these other wonderful performers? That is a different story.


I suddenly feel inspired.


You have given me a purpose.


(Wait for it...)


Radu Matei: Dropping each and every one of you on your necks.


(There it is.)


Radu Matei: I know the fans will get a kick out of it...


(They really will.)


Radu Matei: So start working your neck muscles gang, because the Anzac Cup is going to be stinger city!


(SWAT’s Foundation puts on a jovial front, but for all his lackadaisical bravado you get the feeling that something weighs heavily on his mind. The toil that his time away from the ring has left questions about its effects on his in-ring skillset. It all comes down to…)


(Rust.)

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker : Ladies and Gentlemen we have a guest to our SWAT ring tonight in the shape of two fine female wrestlers. Rin Kubo & Shizuku Yamamoto known to their fans as… SKY FORCE!

Andrew Fulton : Lucky you drew the short straw and had to pronounce that lot. I am already 3 drinks into the show and there’s no way I wouldn’t have butchered that little set of tongue twisters.

Rin Kubo & Shizuku Yamamoto are on the ramp, met by fireworks and their theme music hitting the PA system. They are high energy, high-fives galore, jogging, bouncing, skipping dancing with young girls and little kids at the rail to their upbeat theme tune. They make progress to the ring and they are winning over the SWAT fans every bound they make. They both leap neatly up onto the apron… Yamamoto flips over the top rope and Kubo graciously rolls over the top rope backwards and into the ring.]

Frank Salazar : Introducing now, hailing from Kawasaki, Kanagawa, Japan. Coming in at a combined weight of 269 lbs... Rin Kubo & Shizuku Yamamoto… SKY FORCE!!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Caffrey is due out here next. The Brother’s in Anarchy and Caffrey got themselves a W in our last main event and he then captured the X Crown at the Rumble.

Andrew Fulton : He luckily came through it without getting covered in mayo or shit, or both. It was a messy match.

Jeremy Tucker : Do we think Caffrey and Callaghan can gel as a team tonight.

Andrew Fulton : No.

Jeremy Tucker : Short but sweet... thanks… moving on…

Andrew Fulton : Oh, you want more… No, they won’t gel, but only because Sky Force clearly love each other like sisters and Callaghan and Caffrey… Not so much love lost there.

The arena's lights go off and the fans immediately launch into a roaring pop at the sounds of Fall Out Boy's "My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark" and the sight of their X-Crown Champion. Anthony Caffrey takes a few moments to stand up at the top of the ramp, looking out at those in the Caffrey Corner before heading down to the ring. He is wearing his X-Crown around his mouth for safety, and his tights read "CAFF" on the back.

Once Caffrey stops looking to the cheering fans, he locks eyes with the opposition. He does not break eye contact with tonight's opponent as he walks with a laser focus -- at least until he makes it to the ring steps. He reaches down and taps his ankle before pointing at his opponent. He then makes a simple motion to mime breaking it in half as if his opponent's ankle was a simple wishbone. The crowd join along in the motion, knowing the veteran technician has a deep list of broken ankles in his history.

Caffrey steps into the ring and moves past his opponent, handing his glasses off to the timekeeper. He looks back at his opponent and does a few last minute stretches, knowing he's in for a battle.

Frank Salazar : Introducing now, hailing from The greatest city in the world -- Philadelphia, PA. Coming in at 6’4 and 223 pounds .... THE XHF X COWN CHAMPION!! ANOTHONY CAFFREY!!!

Jeremy Tucker : And here comes his tag partner.

Andrew Fulton : I like this guy. He seems like a lone wolf, not suited to a tag tournament. Maybe that hate to lose shared attitude might be the only thing these guys can draw upon tonight to win this thing…

"Something For You" by David Rolfe begins to play through the PA System as all the lights don a golden shade as the circulate around the stage area.

DIRTY, SEXY, SLINKY THING

POWER OVER ALL WITH THE LOVE YOU BRING

SPINNING, FROM YOUR, MIND CONTROL

SHUFFLING AROUND THIS DEEP DEEP HOLE

That's when the man himself appears as he comes through the curtain, pausing at the top of the stage with a evilish smirk on his face whilst he looks out to the vast majority of fans in the building booing him. He just soaks it all in before making his way down to the ring. Hayden slides onto the ring apron and looks out to the crowd, flipping both middle fingers out to the many that boo him.

YOU ARE THE ONE

MAKES ME SCREAM AND SHOUT

I'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU.

I CAN'T COMPETE

WHY YOU STILL HOLDING OUT

I'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU!

He enters the ring through the middle ropes and stands in the middle of the ring, a singular golden spotlight shining down on Hayden as one finger is raised and his head is lowered. Hayden looks back up at the heated crowd and just smiles before heading into his corner. Andrew Fulton : Andrew scoffs and rolls his eyes in disapproval

Frank Salazar : Introducing now, hailing from South London, England. Coming in at 5’11 and 210 pounds ... "The Miracle of South London" HAYDEN CALLAHAN!!!

Jeremy Tucker : All four combatants are in the ring, it looks like we are going to start with Kubo and Caffrey... Kubo would probably be considered the harder hitter of the two young Japanese wrestlers, but at a combined weight of 269 pounds that’s not really a lot of weight to throw around… Caffrey goes to lock up…. but Kubo brushes him off… Kubo is smart enough to know she doesn’t want to get taken down to the mat by Caffrey… Caffrey goes for a lock up again…. Kubo grabs the arm of Caffrey, twists it and throws him into the ropes…. Caffrey comes back…..clothesline by Kubo…. Caffrey goes down... Kubo quickly follows up with an elbow drop… Caffrey tries to grab Kubo while they were both on the mat…. Kubo quickly rolls away and both get to their feet…...Kubo walks over and tags in Yamamoto…….Caffrey walks over to tag in Callahan…..Callahan waves Caffrey off... telling him to continue! …Caffrey turns and is met by an overhand chop from Yamamoto... Yamamoto whips Caffrey into the ropes... Caffrey comes back and Yamamoto hits a flying forearm…...Caffrey down to the mat but back up quickly trying to shake off the effects of that forearm…. Yamamoto grabs Caffrey… goes for a suplex but Caffrey blocks it…...Yamamoto tried it again… but Caffrey blocks again…...Yamamoto hits Caffrey with a European uppercut... Yamamoto kicks Caffrey to the gut and grabs him... under hook suplex by Yamamoto!!!

Andrew Fulton : This is what I've been talking about, team work. Callahan should be in there if he’d been a team player. I think they are underestimating these young ladies… Yamamoto may be small but she’s smart enough to be able to stay away from moves that allow Caffrey to use his size and experience over her…



Jeremy Tucker : Yamamoto applies a headlock on Caffrey and tries to wear him down…..the Ref is checking the hold is legal and is asking Caffrey if he quits…..Caffrey is reaching behind trying to get hold of Yamamoto's head… Caffrey manages to turn and raise a leg up……..he forces Yamamoto to stand up … and they’re both are on their feet….Yamamoto still has the headlock on... Caffrey with an elbow to the gut…. and another…. Yamamoto breaks the hold…... Caffrey off the ropes and hits Yamamoto with a shoulder barge! …Yamamoto is on the mat... Caffrey drops an elbow but Yamamoto rolls out of the way!...Caffrey gets up and is rubbing his elbow….. Yamamoto walks over... Hurricanrana by Yamamoto…. she grabs his legs and covers for the pin …

…1

…2

kick out by Caffrey!



Andrew Fulton : Look at that. Callahan is clapping at the kick out by Caffrey. Nice to see he’s got his heartfelt support, shame it looks like he wouldn’t get his arse in there to make a save if there was a fire in his corner…



Jeremy Tucker : I think he sees Caffrey getting beaten on as funny…



Andrew Fulton : Or a turn on… he’s only human… two Japanese chicks… lots of bodily contact…



Jeremy Tucker : Bit of respect for the guests please Andrew… Yamamoto gets up…. he pulls Caffrey up… Caffrey grabs Yamamoto's head and drops to his knees Chinbreaker on Yamamoto… she is down… Caffrey starts crawling towards Callahan…..

(Callahan continues to clap and the fans join in)

...Yamamoto rolls over and tags in Kubo…….

(Caffrey makes it to Callahan who is still clapping… Caffrey reaches for the tag but Callahan turns to the fans clapping to get them to join in more)

Jeremy Tucker : ...Kubo is in and grabs the feet of Caffrey and pulls him to the centre of the ring…. Kubo drops an elbow to the inside leg of Caffrey…...Kubo gets up and stomps a few times on Caffrey…….Kubo bends down to grab Caffrey… Caffrey lashes out with fast hands…. small package by Caffrey…..

…1

…2

kick out by Kubo!



Andrew Fulton : Caffrey grabs Kubo while they are both still on the mat……...wait a minute… Caffrey trying to get a hold on here… He has her ankle….. THE PROCESS!!!! (Ankle lock with a grapevine) ... out of nowhere!... The Ref checks on Kubo….. she’s trying to hold on… Caffrey applies the pressure…… Kubo looks like she’s going to quit!...



Jeremy Tucker : Yamamoto finally gets in the ring and drops an elbow on Caffrey to break the hold... wow! Saved by Yamamoto, but from the look on her partner’s face she’s not impressed at how long she took ...the Ref now is giving Yamamoto a warning as she exits the ring… Kubo is not on his feet yet... still feeling the effects of that ankle lock…. Caffrey walks over to Kubo… goes to pull Kubo up but Kubo hits a low blow….



Andrew Fulton : Some of the fans booing, but there’s a sizable minority laughing Jerry... You can tell it’s a very feminine heavy cackle… What is this place coming to?



Jeremy Tucker : Kubo now… stumbles over and tags in Yamamoto… Caffrey is just getting to his feet and Yamamoto with a big clothesline sends him back a pace… Yamamoto off the ropes and hits another clothesline and Caffrey is staggered back into the ropes… Yamamoto off the ropes and hits a dropkick and Caffrey goes over the top rope to the outside and rolls hard into the guard rail…



Andrew Fulton : Look at Caffrey… he needs a tag… It’s all been on him so far… can’t have much left….



Jeremy Tucker : The referee is counting him out… 1… 2… Callahan is getting vocal, clapping for the fans to give Caffrey a boost… Seemingly finally realising that Caffrey needs a hand …3…4…



Andrew Fulton : Kubo rolls Caffrey back into the ring to give him even less rest time… Smart move ladies… Yamamoto tags in Kubo… Kubo applies a Sleeper Hold!!! … Centre of the ring , Caffrey on his knees… Caffrey is not moving… he may be out cold!... the Ref is checking……...he lifts Caffrey’s hand… it drops!... he lifts it a second time…...it drops!!...



Jeremy Tucker : Callahan steps through the ropes... the Ref lifts the hand a third time… Yamamoto steps into the ring as well ...The Ref let’s go of Caffrey’s hand……..



Andrew Fulton : Callahan distracts the Ref and points at Yamamoto complaining about her being in the ring ...Caffrey gets the hand up!

The Ref is trying to get Yamamoto out of the ring…..Kubo drops the hold and gets up….. Kubo hits Callahan with a swift right foot kick… Callahan stumbles back… Kubo drops to her knees and hits Callahan with a low blow... Callahan falls down into his corner… Yamamoto is just getting out of the ring as instructed…. Kubo walks over to Caffrey as he stirs…. pulls him up …Tiger suplex! With a bridge… This should be it?!

...1

...2

…...kick out by Caffrey!!!



Jeremy Tucker : Did you hear that pop?!! ...The SWAT fans are rooting for Caffrey because of the adversity he’s still fighting through. His ego would previously talk him into a raft of boos, but tonight they want to see these SWAT guys get the win… I don’t believe he kicked out! I thought just moments before we were going to have a shock TKO and now he’s still very much with us...



Andrew Fulton : Look at Kubo... she looks frustrated…... Kubo walks over and tags in Yamamoto… Caffrey is slowly crawling towards his corner…. but will Callahan make the tag??... Caffrey holds his hand out…… Callahan looks at the fans….. (the fans cheer and jeer for him to tag) …



Jeremy Tucker : ...Callahan makes the tag!!!



Andrew Fulton : …Callahan and Yamamoto…..circling each other….Yamamoto grabs Callahan…...whips him into the corner where Kubo is…. Kubo has her knee braced between the turnbuckles ...Callahan stumbles out of the corner holding his back……..



Andrew Fulton : Yamamoto sends Callahan into the ropes…. Back fast on the rebound….Yamamoto goes for a clothesline….. Callahan ducks…..he goes off the other ropes ….



Jeremy Tucker : Kubo hits Callahan on the back of the head with a roundhouse kick ….Callahan stumbles forward……..Yamamoto uses the momentum and hurls Callahan into his own corner …Callahan hits the turnbuckle face first and drops down to the floor….. The Ref is giving a warning to Kubo here…...telling her to keep her hands to herself unless she’s legal…...



Andrew Fulton : She’s old enough…



Jeremy Tucker : Keep your mind out of the gutter Andrew…

While the referee is distracted by an argument with Kubo, Yamamoto walks over to Callahan…..bends down to pick him up…. Caffrey grabs Yamamoto from behind, spins her around and hits a BULLHAMMER ELBOW!... Yamamoto is floored by that vicious blow…


Andrew Fulton : Kubo see’s the danger and runs at Caffrey ... too late and Caffery forearm smashes her off of the apron… Caffrey with the cover …

…1

…2

…3!



Frank Salazar : WINNERS BY PINFALL …. And progressing to the next round ... ANTHONY CAFFREY! And "The Miracle of South London" HAYDEN CALLAHAN!

Jeremy Tucker : Some will say that these Japanese cruiserweight outsiders should not have stood a chance against two impressive SWAT wrestlers.



Andrew Fulton : I’ll say it…



Jeremy Tucker : I thought you might… In fairness it was close because there was a team work issue from Callahan and Caffrey. They’ll need to work on that to progress further. At the moment, the only thing getting them through this round was the X Crowns will to win.