Dominicus and the Ebony Stones 3: Coal
Jan 22, 2021 20:28:24 GMT -5
Dave D-Flipz, SWAT Team, and 6 more like this
Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Jan 22, 2021 20:28:24 GMT -5
*Bam! We open on a green door as a fist knocks on it, then hurriedly rings a nearby doorbell. Soon the door cracks open to reveal a very “husky” man, unshaven and unshowered. He looks out.*
Man: Lord Dominicus?
LD: I need to talk to Santa, it’s urgent.
Man: …Yeah, alright, hold on. I’ll go get “Santa”
*He winks at NPW’s dark lord and closes the door. We move to a less close-up shot as Lord Dominicus waits, and takes a good scratch at his butt while nobody is looking.*
LD: Why did he wink at me? Was he trying to flirt? I mean, I don’t really go fo-
*The door opens and before us stands….what appears to be the same guy but now wearing a large white fluffy beard and a Christmas-themed hat. Seriously, he didn’t even change his shirt*
Santa: Ho ho how did you get my address?
LD: Never mind that, I have urgent business!
Santa: Ho ho ho, of course, come in.
*The non-religious symbol of Christmas leads Dominicus inside and ushers him to a small kitchen.*
Santa: Here, let me whip up some hot chocolate for you, young Dominicus.
*Dominicus sits down with a surprisingly large amount of weight as a sigh escapes him. While Santa prepares the hot coco, Dominicus surveys his surroundings. It’s a messy bachelor pad; though one of the more interesting aspects is that there is a copious amount of wrestling paraphernalia in easy sight. Posters, figures, tapes, and the like are strewn all about. Dominicus sniffs the air*
LD: Wow Santa, you really like wrestling…..and squalor
Santa: Ho ho ho! We all need our hobbies, I suppose.
*The microwave has finished quick-warming the hot chocolate and the large elf returns with two mugs as he sits across from LD at a very small round table for one.*
Santa: You seem upset, young Dominicus, is there something troubling you?
*Our protagonist shifts uncomfortably in his seat.*
LD: Wow, you really are magic. If you must know, yes, I’m upset.
Santa: Is it because you lost to Adrien in the-
LD: What? No no, what? Are you high or something? Who cares about that? I’m the NPW North American Cruiserweight Champion- the only real singles champion in the company. I don’t care that some lizard man likes Adrien better. Adrien Cochrane can have all the lizard men he wants- FOR THE WORLD IS DOMINICUS…’S
*A moment while everyone sounds that out in their heads.*
LD: No, what’s troubling me is that somehow Dane and his guild of idiots has poisoned the mind of Gus Arnold and now it’s Team Dane versus Team Guys Dane Is Weirdly Obsessed With for the Vicious Valentine’s show.
Santa: Ho ho ho! That sounds like a great idea! Give all those that The So-Called Syndicate have wronged a chance to get their revenge. That’s great TV!
*Dominicus carefully (because of the mask) sips his drink then folds his arms.*
LD: Yeah it SOUNDS great, any match featuring Lord Dominicus sounds great- I’d know, I’m Lord Dominicus. The problem is my partners. Ok, so this Joseph Mack kid seems fine.
Santa: He is on the nice list.
LD: ….I don’t know if that wins him points or not. Anyway, he took it to stupid Dane in a big way. But somehow after I made NPW a big name by calling out the worst signing of 2020 as being the garbage talent he is….GUS DECIDED TO PARTNER ME WITH HIM!
*Mr. Claus leans forward and lowers his voice.*
Santa: (You’re talking about Timeless, right?)
*A quick fist bangs on the table.*
LD: YES I’M TALKING ABOUT TIMELESS YOU-
*Dominicus stops himself. He doesn’t want to anger Santa because he needs him. He also shifts in his chair, uncomfortable about something else.*
LD: …last time I accept underwear as a gift…
Santa: What was that?
LD: I said that Alex Turner is a git! While we’re talking right now, for all I know instead of preparing for the ONE CHANCE we have to not look like idiots after a month of Eric Dane and Co’s bullcrap he’s probably pissing away his time complaining about something and suggesting that wrestling is fake.
Santa: I mean, that’s sort of his gimmick.
LD: His what?
Santa: His- you know what; I’m curious what any of this has to do with me.
LD: Oh it doesn’t. I just really don’t like the prospects of this match. Maybe I’ll walk out on Turner when he tries to tag me in.
Santa: Wouldn’t that lead to a loss?
LD: I think you mean to ask is “Wouldn’t that lead to an antiquated jerk getting pinned while you walk off fine and out of business that is more annoying than entertaining?” To which the answer is yes. Yes it would. Anyway! I’m here on important business! I need coal.
Santa: But you’re on the nice list.
*Dominicus winces*
LD: ….Be that as it may, in order to get off of said list I need a piece of coal.
*The bringer of gifts gives his guest a cock-eyed look. Finally he shrugs.*
Santa: Yeah, sure, whatever- you’re on the nice list, if you want coal you can have coal.
*The large man wanders into his mostly obscured living room and we hear the shuffle of objects. Dominicus takes this moment to scratch an itch in his lower regions which seem to be seriously bothering him.*
LD: …I washed it like six times already…
*Old Saint Nick wanders back into the kitchen with a piece of coal and hands it over to Dominicus*
Santa: There you go, from the prop box to your hands. OH! And since you’ve been such a good little boy, taking on the evils of the wrestling world, I have something special for you…
*From behind his back, Santa produces an unwrapped Star Trek Christmas ornament almost certainly coming off of his own tree.*
Santa: A hero for a hero!
LD: DON’T CALL ME THAT! But uh…thank you?
*He holds up the coal and Kirk, one in each hand.*
Santa: HO HO HO! MERRY……INAUGURATION DAY? Should I be wearing a presidential mask?
*LD slyly uses the ornament to do some light scratching down below*
Santa: Anyway, young Dominicus, I think it’s time you head HO HO HOME!
*Dominicus gets up and walks with Santa to the door.*
LD: Say Santa, one more thing- what happened to that fat elf who opened the door?
Santa: Oh…him? Maybe he went to do an interview with Nelly Angel
*Santa winks hard.*
LD: Look, I mean, I’m not judging bu-
*The door closes and the camera fades.*
Man: Lord Dominicus?
LD: I need to talk to Santa, it’s urgent.
Man: …Yeah, alright, hold on. I’ll go get “Santa”
*He winks at NPW’s dark lord and closes the door. We move to a less close-up shot as Lord Dominicus waits, and takes a good scratch at his butt while nobody is looking.*
LD: Why did he wink at me? Was he trying to flirt? I mean, I don’t really go fo-
*The door opens and before us stands….what appears to be the same guy but now wearing a large white fluffy beard and a Christmas-themed hat. Seriously, he didn’t even change his shirt*
Santa: Ho ho how did you get my address?
LD: Never mind that, I have urgent business!
Santa: Ho ho ho, of course, come in.
*The non-religious symbol of Christmas leads Dominicus inside and ushers him to a small kitchen.*
Santa: Here, let me whip up some hot chocolate for you, young Dominicus.
*Dominicus sits down with a surprisingly large amount of weight as a sigh escapes him. While Santa prepares the hot coco, Dominicus surveys his surroundings. It’s a messy bachelor pad; though one of the more interesting aspects is that there is a copious amount of wrestling paraphernalia in easy sight. Posters, figures, tapes, and the like are strewn all about. Dominicus sniffs the air*
LD: Wow Santa, you really like wrestling…..and squalor
Santa: Ho ho ho! We all need our hobbies, I suppose.
*The microwave has finished quick-warming the hot chocolate and the large elf returns with two mugs as he sits across from LD at a very small round table for one.*
Santa: You seem upset, young Dominicus, is there something troubling you?
*Our protagonist shifts uncomfortably in his seat.*
LD: Wow, you really are magic. If you must know, yes, I’m upset.
Santa: Is it because you lost to Adrien in the-
LD: What? No no, what? Are you high or something? Who cares about that? I’m the NPW North American Cruiserweight Champion- the only real singles champion in the company. I don’t care that some lizard man likes Adrien better. Adrien Cochrane can have all the lizard men he wants- FOR THE WORLD IS DOMINICUS…’S
*A moment while everyone sounds that out in their heads.*
LD: No, what’s troubling me is that somehow Dane and his guild of idiots has poisoned the mind of Gus Arnold and now it’s Team Dane versus Team Guys Dane Is Weirdly Obsessed With for the Vicious Valentine’s show.
Santa: Ho ho ho! That sounds like a great idea! Give all those that The So-Called Syndicate have wronged a chance to get their revenge. That’s great TV!
*Dominicus carefully (because of the mask) sips his drink then folds his arms.*
LD: Yeah it SOUNDS great, any match featuring Lord Dominicus sounds great- I’d know, I’m Lord Dominicus. The problem is my partners. Ok, so this Joseph Mack kid seems fine.
Santa: He is on the nice list.
LD: ….I don’t know if that wins him points or not. Anyway, he took it to stupid Dane in a big way. But somehow after I made NPW a big name by calling out the worst signing of 2020 as being the garbage talent he is….GUS DECIDED TO PARTNER ME WITH HIM!
*Mr. Claus leans forward and lowers his voice.*
Santa: (You’re talking about Timeless, right?)
*A quick fist bangs on the table.*
LD: YES I’M TALKING ABOUT TIMELESS YOU-
*Dominicus stops himself. He doesn’t want to anger Santa because he needs him. He also shifts in his chair, uncomfortable about something else.*
LD: …last time I accept underwear as a gift…
Santa: What was that?
LD: I said that Alex Turner is a git! While we’re talking right now, for all I know instead of preparing for the ONE CHANCE we have to not look like idiots after a month of Eric Dane and Co’s bullcrap he’s probably pissing away his time complaining about something and suggesting that wrestling is fake.
Santa: I mean, that’s sort of his gimmick.
LD: His what?
Santa: His- you know what; I’m curious what any of this has to do with me.
LD: Oh it doesn’t. I just really don’t like the prospects of this match. Maybe I’ll walk out on Turner when he tries to tag me in.
Santa: Wouldn’t that lead to a loss?
LD: I think you mean to ask is “Wouldn’t that lead to an antiquated jerk getting pinned while you walk off fine and out of business that is more annoying than entertaining?” To which the answer is yes. Yes it would. Anyway! I’m here on important business! I need coal.
Santa: But you’re on the nice list.
*Dominicus winces*
LD: ….Be that as it may, in order to get off of said list I need a piece of coal.
*The bringer of gifts gives his guest a cock-eyed look. Finally he shrugs.*
Santa: Yeah, sure, whatever- you’re on the nice list, if you want coal you can have coal.
*The large man wanders into his mostly obscured living room and we hear the shuffle of objects. Dominicus takes this moment to scratch an itch in his lower regions which seem to be seriously bothering him.*
LD: …I washed it like six times already…
*Old Saint Nick wanders back into the kitchen with a piece of coal and hands it over to Dominicus*
Santa: There you go, from the prop box to your hands. OH! And since you’ve been such a good little boy, taking on the evils of the wrestling world, I have something special for you…
*From behind his back, Santa produces an unwrapped Star Trek Christmas ornament almost certainly coming off of his own tree.*
Santa: A hero for a hero!
LD: DON’T CALL ME THAT! But uh…thank you?
*He holds up the coal and Kirk, one in each hand.*
Santa: HO HO HO! MERRY……INAUGURATION DAY? Should I be wearing a presidential mask?
*LD slyly uses the ornament to do some light scratching down below*
Santa: Anyway, young Dominicus, I think it’s time you head HO HO HOME!
*Dominicus gets up and walks with Santa to the door.*
LD: Say Santa, one more thing- what happened to that fat elf who opened the door?
Santa: Oh…him? Maybe he went to do an interview with Nelly Angel
*Santa winks hard.*
LD: Look, I mean, I’m not judging bu-
*The door closes and the camera fades.*
