Dominicus and the Ebony Stones 4: Asphalt
Jan 29, 2021 22:14:22 GMT -5
anthonycaffrey, mosler, and 1 more like this
Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Jan 29, 2021 22:14:22 GMT -5
(OOC: Hello FIRESIDE! For those who are curious as to Lord Dominicus’ search for the Ebony Stones, I’ve written up a convenient catch-up page so that you can find out more! [CLICK HERE!])
*We open on cold blackness. That’s it. OMG WTF suddenly this is broken by a literal pickaxe flying into the dark! We quickly pan out to see two rather concerning figures standing on what appears to be a street in the middle of a city (obviously not too busy due to the pandemic). On the left is a large dinosaur skeleton that looks inflatable, on the right somebody who doesn’t even work for FIRESIDE. They look at the lack of results before them*
LD: Wow, not even a scratch.
*Lord Dominicus, the North American Cruiserweight Champion of NPW (a title he’s literally wearing around his waist) looks at the pickaxe in his hands and down at the black surface of the street.*
DB: Maybe if you used some muscle on the way down?
LD: Huh, I mean maybe that’ll work.
*The two of them are wearing hard hats. Only Dominicus seems armed.*
DB: ...I think I had some minions around here. If you find a robot goes by Grimlock - that dinobot bastard owes me twenty Dread Lord bucks.
*CLINK! The pickaxe again hits the street, though it still refuses to give into whatever Dominicus is trying to get from it.*
DB: Lord I am SOOOOO tired....... how much longer is this going to go ooooon for?
LD: wel-
DB: Working in a coal mine, going down town town working in a coal mine wooooo about to- Being kneedeep in ape skeletons reminds me of home. I am tempted to make an ape skeleton angel... by which I mean lying down and making an impression in their remains, not sending apes to chimp heaven... it doesn't exist.
*Lord Dominicus has been trying to make the pavement yield it’s precious bounty of….who-knows-what but without much luck. He wipes his brow and then notices the camera*
LD: Oh, hello there!
DB: Rawr!
LD: You might be wondering what me and my House of Lords partner are doing out here. Well, it’s none of your business.
*He puts the head of the pickaxe on the ground and leans on the handle.*
LD: I mean, why would I give you all of our plans? I know you, Nihilists. I’ve seen how you work. You study your opponents to a ridiculous degree and then break them down while applying your ethos-less thought processes to them in order to almost scientifically root out their logic flaws and mistakes in the ring.
DB: That does not sound good for us.
LD: No it doesn’t. That’s why I’m not going to tell you guys that right now we’re here trying to retrieve an Ebony Stone, which will help empower my evil to further my dark reign across NPW, then the XHF Network, THEN THE WHOLE WORLD!
DB: And get off of Santa Chimp’s nice list.
LD: ….Yes, that too. That’s why I’m not going to tell you guys that ‘Bones and I are out here as a team building exercise, since we’re separate both in company and geography almost all the time. And I’m absolutely not going to tell you that I’m secretly worried because you two are around each other non-stop, even when pursuing singles goals.
DB: Uh….
LD: And that’s not even to mention the Nihilists’ years of experience over ‘Bones and I only having like one match together as a team. Meanwhile they were one of the monster teams of the division for….years? Oof. I am defiantly not going to tell you all in TV land- especially the Nihilist themselves any of that. Anyway….
*He raises the pickaxe again*
DB: The cops!
LD: The cops?
*Dinosaur Bones points off camera*
LD: The cops! Here, quick, hold this. I have a plan!
*He hands the pickaxe off to Dinosaur Bones as a police officer strolls up.*
Police: What are you two doing here? I got a call about destruction of public property.
*The cop eyes up the tool in DB’s hands*
LD: What? Destruction of property? That’s ridiculous. Clearly my friend and I are having a party in a safe, outdoors environment to avoid spreading the plague.
*He sidles up to the officer, covers the side of his mouth and whispers to the cop.*
LD: But don’t worry, my friend isn’t drinking. He can’t because he’s a miner.
DB: Yes, I am too young to yield precious minerals.
*The officer looks D. Bones up and down- hard hat, pickaxe; the story checks out.*
Police: Hmm, I see. Well, you too just make sure to get home safe and not cause any trouble.
DB: Define tro-
LD: No need to worry, I may be THE DARKEST EVIL IN EXISTENCE but I’m no criminal.
DB: Yet.
*Dominicus shoots a look over to his partner but the officer seems satisfied and laughs it off.*
Police: Haha, you youngins and your theme parties.
*He then walks off. The dark duo wait for him to get far enough away.*
DB: I used to have a real drinking problem- bone marrow - but I have been 186 millennia sober. I have a pin to prove it.
*The NPW guest takes back his pickaxe.*
LD: Fascinating. You’ll have to show it to me some time. Is it black? I’ve been looking for black hard things
DB: I have learned from your ape documentaries that by asking such questions you’ll receive what you are looking for, but perhaps not in the crevice you’d like.
*CLANG! Pickaxe strikes the ground again.*
LD: YES!
*Dinosaur Bones jumps up and down at the prospect of his partner finding his quarry. Soon LD retrieves….a tiny part of the road, maybe a little bigger than a pea.*
LD: I HAVE RETRIEVED THE ASPHALT! NOW WITH THREE EBONY STONES MY DARKNESS WILL HAVE NO RIVAL!
DB: Except maybe the tar pits.
LD: I will have to have a talk with these tar pits then.
DB: Trust me; you do not want to open your mouth to that blackness
LD: We shall see, we shall see…..
*The camera fades out.*
*We open on cold blackness. That’s it. OMG WTF suddenly this is broken by a literal pickaxe flying into the dark! We quickly pan out to see two rather concerning figures standing on what appears to be a street in the middle of a city (obviously not too busy due to the pandemic). On the left is a large dinosaur skeleton that looks inflatable, on the right somebody who doesn’t even work for FIRESIDE. They look at the lack of results before them*
LD: Wow, not even a scratch.
*Lord Dominicus, the North American Cruiserweight Champion of NPW (a title he’s literally wearing around his waist) looks at the pickaxe in his hands and down at the black surface of the street.*
DB: Maybe if you used some muscle on the way down?
LD: Huh, I mean maybe that’ll work.
*The two of them are wearing hard hats. Only Dominicus seems armed.*
DB: ...I think I had some minions around here. If you find a robot goes by Grimlock - that dinobot bastard owes me twenty Dread Lord bucks.
*CLINK! The pickaxe again hits the street, though it still refuses to give into whatever Dominicus is trying to get from it.*
DB: Lord I am SOOOOO tired....... how much longer is this going to go ooooon for?
LD: wel-
DB: Working in a coal mine, going down town town working in a coal mine wooooo about to- Being kneedeep in ape skeletons reminds me of home. I am tempted to make an ape skeleton angel... by which I mean lying down and making an impression in their remains, not sending apes to chimp heaven... it doesn't exist.
*Lord Dominicus has been trying to make the pavement yield it’s precious bounty of….who-knows-what but without much luck. He wipes his brow and then notices the camera*
LD: Oh, hello there!
DB: Rawr!
LD: You might be wondering what me and my House of Lords partner are doing out here. Well, it’s none of your business.
*He puts the head of the pickaxe on the ground and leans on the handle.*
LD: I mean, why would I give you all of our plans? I know you, Nihilists. I’ve seen how you work. You study your opponents to a ridiculous degree and then break them down while applying your ethos-less thought processes to them in order to almost scientifically root out their logic flaws and mistakes in the ring.
DB: That does not sound good for us.
LD: No it doesn’t. That’s why I’m not going to tell you guys that right now we’re here trying to retrieve an Ebony Stone, which will help empower my evil to further my dark reign across NPW, then the XHF Network, THEN THE WHOLE WORLD!
DB: And get off of Santa Chimp’s nice list.
LD: ….Yes, that too. That’s why I’m not going to tell you guys that ‘Bones and I are out here as a team building exercise, since we’re separate both in company and geography almost all the time. And I’m absolutely not going to tell you that I’m secretly worried because you two are around each other non-stop, even when pursuing singles goals.
DB: Uh….
LD: And that’s not even to mention the Nihilists’ years of experience over ‘Bones and I only having like one match together as a team. Meanwhile they were one of the monster teams of the division for….years? Oof. I am defiantly not going to tell you all in TV land- especially the Nihilist themselves any of that. Anyway….
*He raises the pickaxe again*
DB: The cops!
LD: The cops?
*Dinosaur Bones points off camera*
LD: The cops! Here, quick, hold this. I have a plan!
*He hands the pickaxe off to Dinosaur Bones as a police officer strolls up.*
Police: What are you two doing here? I got a call about destruction of public property.
*The cop eyes up the tool in DB’s hands*
LD: What? Destruction of property? That’s ridiculous. Clearly my friend and I are having a party in a safe, outdoors environment to avoid spreading the plague.
*He sidles up to the officer, covers the side of his mouth and whispers to the cop.*
LD: But don’t worry, my friend isn’t drinking. He can’t because he’s a miner.
DB: Yes, I am too young to yield precious minerals.
*The officer looks D. Bones up and down- hard hat, pickaxe; the story checks out.*
Police: Hmm, I see. Well, you too just make sure to get home safe and not cause any trouble.
DB: Define tro-
LD: No need to worry, I may be THE DARKEST EVIL IN EXISTENCE but I’m no criminal.
DB: Yet.
*Dominicus shoots a look over to his partner but the officer seems satisfied and laughs it off.*
Police: Haha, you youngins and your theme parties.
*He then walks off. The dark duo wait for him to get far enough away.*
DB: I used to have a real drinking problem- bone marrow - but I have been 186 millennia sober. I have a pin to prove it.
*The NPW guest takes back his pickaxe.*
LD: Fascinating. You’ll have to show it to me some time. Is it black? I’ve been looking for black hard things
DB: I have learned from your ape documentaries that by asking such questions you’ll receive what you are looking for, but perhaps not in the crevice you’d like.
*CLANG! Pickaxe strikes the ground again.*
LD: YES!
*Dinosaur Bones jumps up and down at the prospect of his partner finding his quarry. Soon LD retrieves….a tiny part of the road, maybe a little bigger than a pea.*
LD: I HAVE RETRIEVED THE ASPHALT! NOW WITH THREE EBONY STONES MY DARKNESS WILL HAVE NO RIVAL!
DB: Except maybe the tar pits.
LD: I will have to have a talk with these tar pits then.
DB: Trust me; you do not want to open your mouth to that blackness
LD: We shall see, we shall see…..
*The camera fades out.*
