|
Post by ForeverKuroi on Mar 23, 2021 0:03:51 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Mar 23, 2021 6:23:21 GMT -5
I'm gonna need 1. An application 2. A pic base that isn't a literal dog- PETA is not down with us killing puppies in the ring
|
|
|
Post by RattyMcDaddy on Mar 23, 2021 9:21:08 GMT -5
A voice cracks through the darkness.
They say absence makes the heart grown fonder, that its heals all wounds.
A static fills the screen, cracking and sparking with its white noise before clearing up and reaveling Rat Bastard, a black Adidas valour jump suit covering his large frame. That trademark smirk across his face.
Its been quite awhile, hasn't it, XHF? Did ya miss me? I know, i know, some of you must feel like orphans, and like good ol' Ratty McDaddy abandoned you. Like he went off to the store for a pack of smokes, and just vanished for a few months. Its just.....just.....
Rat makes a feeble attempt at a sad broken down face.
I was so broken up about Cafferys cancer kid kicking the bucket and all. I mean, if I felt bad, image how the kids mom felt.....
Rats look of fake sorrorow is again replaced by his smirk as he throws a toothpick into this mouth.
She felt better after Ratty McDaddy gave her the pelvic punisher, and after having some of little Mousy, she felt real good...
Rat reaches down and grabs a handful of this crotch.
Just like all of you are gonna get a good ol' fashioned banging from me at the Rumble. Pelvic Punishers all around.
Rat does a couple of very awkward pelvic thrusts into the air, and slaps as if he is spanking someone's behind.
The bad guy is back, bitchs. See ya, at the Rumble.
Rat flicks his toothpick at the camera as we fade to black.
|
|
|
Post by ForeverKuroi on Mar 23, 2021 14:48:34 GMT -5
|
|
Kira Izumi
J-ROK Staff
XHF's Resident Weeb
Posts: 5,920
|
Post by Kira Izumi on Mar 23, 2021 21:05:25 GMT -5
we hear the soft purr of a cat as we see the ears twitch. the peak at the bottom of the screen as everyones favorite animal human hybrid can be see smiling in full now.
"Nyan nyan"
she greets us with that grating nyan nyan nyonsense.
"Seems like everyonyan here inyan the XHF is anyantianyamal equality nyan. Well that's just nyot fair nyan! so for the betterment of all anyamials everywhere Neko Nyan Nyan is joinyng the rumble this year nyan!"
"Justice anyd equality for all nyan! even anyamls and cat girls like me nyan!"
|
|
|
Post by The Colossus on Mar 23, 2021 23:49:05 GMT -5
[Hard Pan]
[Two Lockers are adjacent to one another.]
[They have seen better days. But they stand behind the NPW Podium, having been put there by Personal Assistant WASP.]
[The Wrestling Press has gathered, pictures are taken, some of the grafitti from the NWA days is still visible, the indentation where tag titles had been tack-wleded around their "waists" still visible.]
"IS IT TRUE THAT A LEGENDARY TAG TEAM from the deep past is entering the 2021 XHF Rumble?"
[No Answer, they are Lockers, Adjacent. Hardcore Icons, Survivors of 300 light tube death matches.]
[Cameras Flash. The WASP lays down as more questions pepper the most important entrants in XHF History]
|
|
|
Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Mar 24, 2021 0:03:41 GMT -5
[Hard Pan] [Two Lockers are adjacent to one another.] [They have seen better days. But they stand behind the NPW Podium, having been put there by Personal Assistant WASP.] [The Wrestling Press has gathered, pictures are taken, some of the grafitti from the NWA days is still visible, the indentation where tag titles had been tack-wleded around their "waists" still visible.] "IS IT TRUE THAT A LEGENDARY TAG TEAM from the deep past is entering the 2021 XHF Rumble?" [No Answer, they are Lockers, Adjacent. Hardcore Icons, Survivors of 300 light tube death matches.] [Cameras Flash. The WASP lays down as more questions pepper the most important entrants in XHF History] We'll need an application and uh.....a pic base that isn't just a locker. Needs to have a mobile human involved in it somehow, lol
|
|
|
Post by The Colossus on Mar 24, 2021 0:08:53 GMT -5
[Hard Pan] [Two Lockers are adjacent to one another.] [They have seen better days. But they stand behind the NPW Podium, having been put there by Personal Assistant WASP.] [The Wrestling Press has gathered, pictures are taken, some of the grafitti from the NWA days is still visible, the indentation where tag titles had been tack-wleded around their "waists" still visible.] "IS IT TRUE THAT A LEGENDARY TAG TEAM from the deep past is entering the 2021 XHF Rumble?" [No Answer, they are Lockers, Adjacent. Hardcore Icons, Survivors of 300 light tube death matches.] [Cameras Flash. The WASP lays down as more questions pepper the most important entrants in XHF History] We'll need an application and uh.....a pic base that isn't just a locker. Needs to have a mobile human involved in it somehow, lol No worries, a single locker can't convey the adjacency of two adjacent lockers. any two of these three will do. I'm sure the XHF has some "intelligent" help about to wheel these saviors of stainless steel to the ring and see them situated appropriately. These Icons of Iron could also be wheeled about by the WASP.
|
|
|
Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Mar 24, 2021 0:15:22 GMT -5
We'll need an application and uh.....a pic base that isn't just a locker. Needs to have a mobile human involved in it somehow, lol No worries, a single locker can't convey the adjacency of two adjacent lockers. any two of these three will do. I'm sure the XHF has some "intelligent" help about to wheel these saviors of stainless steel to the ring and see them situated appropriately. These Icons of Iron could also be wheeled about by the WASP. Unfortunately those lockers have tested positive for HGH also and are no allowed. (Got a good laugh from this but no inanimate objects)
|
|
|
Post by The Colossus on Mar 24, 2021 0:18:44 GMT -5
"What DO YOU MEAN I SIGNED UP?"
The WASP looked at the detritus of another night spent sleeping face-first against a window.
The Convenience Store attendant, who was familiar with the WASP, had as always no idea what this stewed prune was on about. Considering he had seen him drink an actual can of Varnish once, he thought by accident, He was accustomed to the general rambling of the man wearing a suit two sizes too big and three decades out of style, and a mask that had once had two antennae on it, but now was situated with a single one.
He propped his broom against the WASP and gave him the ole heave-ho, and the WASP tumbled off of the store window and into the gutter. Where he was no longer this clerk's problem.
|
|
Tommy Kelly
.::XHF Competitor::.
Crude, Rude, the absolute Dude
Posts: 82
|
Post by Tommy Kelly on Mar 24, 2021 14:21:27 GMT -5
"So they tell me there is a Rumble brewing, and the opening window for superstars to enter in upon us... hmm, I have dipped my toes in the elusive pond of the X*Crown only once before, perhaps I should dance with the devil and chance my luck once again, per happenstance." Tommy Kelly, the infamous 'StormCrow' stands before a full length mirror adjusting a tuxedo coat over his crisp white shirt, a cigarette dangling from a long ceramic filter poking form the corner of his mouth. "The word has not yet seen me emerge from my cocoon, a beautiful butterfly here to spread his wings and shake off the dust from his past. Now is the eve of a new revival, per say, where the world might feast there eyes on the magic that is... rebirth."
He spins on the spot, the ducktails of his coat spinning as he moves. The scenery behind him in the mirror is a multitude of adoring fans, all pointing, smiling, swooning at the presence of their superstar. He fixes the coat once more, flicking his long showered and shampooed hair behind his shoulders. "Yes, I do think this might be my time to shine. The majesty of Tommy Kelly, competing with superstars such as that talking dog and two or three steel lockers. Yes...fans, sing it with me...'Tommy!', 'Tommy!', 'Tommy!'..." He closes his eyes and listens to the fans chanting his name, loving him, praising him, adoring him...
"SIR! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!"
His eyes blast open, his corneas exploding as the bright luminous lighting hits them. Groggy, confused and disorientated he quickly scans around him for danger. "SIR! This is a TJ Maxx, what are you doing! Where are your pants!" He rapidly gathers himself to realize the situation.
Naked form the waist down, wearing a slightly damaged thrift quality suit jacket, nothing underneath. Skin exposed everywhere.
"Uh, the uh... Rumble is coming?"
"SECURITY! Get this naked hobo out of my store!" Tommy tries to stop the woman's screaming by jumping up and down, but his exposed penis slapping against his groin only angers her more. "Get your homeless DICK out of my shop now! SECURITY!"
Panicked, Tommy tosses the suit jacket on the floor so that all he is wearing now is his tall white socks and crusty pair of Cons. He quickly runs for the door, spying his disregarded clothing on the floor. He scoops and grabs it, as security guards appear to give chase.
"SIR! Give us back those clothes, now! SIR! Where are you going?!"
"I'm going to the Rumble, bitch!" He spins like a young Odell Beckham Jr. and avoids the grasps of security guards as he makes a break for the door. Sunshine. Fresh air. Freedom. All so close now, he can feel it. The Rumble beckons, and Tommy Kelly is ready. Naked and wild, he is ready!
...but as he nears the exit he drops his jeans and trips himself over. He slides on his knees and palms, right by the doorway. Almost there...almost... then BOOM. The harsh reality of a security guards boot arriving up his arse to send him forward onto his face greets him.
"Fucking...Mongo..."
~ Fin ~
|
|
|
Post by Kyle on Mar 24, 2021 17:50:56 GMT -5
A close up shot of a mahogany desk is shown as a handwritten letter floats its way into view and is read aloud by none other than Morgan Freeman.
Dear XHF,
It has come to my attention that sign-ups have opened for the 2021 Rumble. Various names have already submitted their intention to join. I, Keith Williams, who debuted at the 2020 Rumble, now announce my involvement. As a participant of the 2021 SWAT Royal Rumble, I've practiced and my endurance will get me through this successfully. By the power of Zoran Sainovic, in honor of Dylan Black, I will recover the XHF X*Crown Championship as my own. Every match has lead to this moment and the glory of The ReVenants shall continue to shine brightly!
Sincerely,
The Ultimate Kingpin.
|
|
|
Post by Curtis D. Kanyon on Mar 24, 2021 21:08:11 GMT -5
**Night. Yellowstone National Park.** *We are greeted with a spectacular view of the park from high above. Suddenly, "BOOM!" A firework goes off! "BLAM!" Another firework. Then another, and another. Suddenly, the sky is brightly lit with multiple fireworks. We can also hear the faint rhythm of a drum beat. The camera starts to fly toward the fireworks (a.k.a. it's a drone cam), and it goes forward and down. It passes through a tree line and it is revealed to be a bunch of acrobats and trapeze artists flying about on wires and balancing on oversized rubber balls and building human pyramids, as fireworks continue above. The ddrum beat gets louder. The drone cam zips past them as we see a line of a half a dozen men drinking something while holding torches, and then they start breathing fire into the air right as the camera is passing over them, the drum beat getting even louder. We then see ladies dancing with batons that have fire on both ends, in a very elegant choreographed dance routine right in front of what appears to be a throne with torches lit in a way that shrouds the sitter in silhouette, and giant drums are being played just behind the dancing girls. And yes, fireworks are still going off. The camera drone finally reaches the throne where we see none other than former president Curtis D. Kanyon sitting. He has a smirk on his face as the drum beat builds faster and faster now. Finally, the drums crescendo and the fireworks stop.*
: XHF Rumble? ...I'm in. **Fade out.**
|
|
|
Post by Oh-Oh on Mar 24, 2021 21:59:25 GMT -5
"It was only a matter of time..." [The voice is familiar.] "One shot was all that I needed to make history." [White Teeth.] [Perfect Smile.] [Not a hair out of place.] [Oxford Osland.][That smug chuckle.] [That punchable face.] "This piece of championship hardware is proof that I, Oxford Osland am the new face of SWAT." "Every part of my being is set to become synonymous with this brand, and my far reaching connections in the 'biz' will help propel my championship reign to heights never before imagined." [Osland reaches into his pocket and pulls out a blue ribbon with the word 'participation' inscribed on the front.] "I would be remiss if I didn't thank my opponent Pequeno for stepping up to the plate and doing the honours like his contract enforced." [Osland looks directly into the camera.] "Here you go, little buddy. You've earned this." [Osland hands over the participation ribbon. The cruel gesture isn't lost on us.] "Perhaps this will become one of those 'life lessons' that folks full of wisdom preach?" [The question is rhetorical and in poor taste. Osland smirks, knowing full well that Pequeno was a victim of circumstance and didn't deserve the be a attacked by the KGB.] "Listen kid, I don't know if you've heard..." [...] "But I happen to be what they call an expert in the art of romance. I coach average joe's like yourself on a regular basis. Heck, I even have videos floating around online should you aspire to ' tighten up' your game. Based on recent events inside and outside of your circle, you might find the material extremely beneficial." [Osland's words are laced with insincerity.] "Which reminds me, I've come here tonight with three objectives to complete. The first is to wipe the floor with a 'so called' legend by the name of Rayzor. Based on some of his most recent performances, it's safe to say that my man's best days are behind him. So Rayzor, what do you say? If I defeat you tonight, you drop that silly nickname that holds about the same amount of credibility that Jonnie V does as an Authority Figure." [Osland uses his hand to form a '0', while mouthing the number to the camera.] "My second objective is to officially declare that I will be competing in this year's XHF Rumble. That's right ladies and gentleman, the new odds on favourite to hoist the X*Crown is standing right here in the flesh." [Osland motions that he's ready to wrap another championship around his waist.] "The third and final objective tonight is to make someone an offer that they can't refuse. The type of offer that is both mutually beneficial and will lead to prosperity unlike they could ever imagine." [Osland's lips curl into a smirk.] "Does anyone know where I can find Vanessa Martinez?' [...] "It's time to make some major moves." [Osland turns away from the camera, ready for his search to commence.] [Cut.]
|
|
|
Post by jamesmueller on Mar 24, 2021 22:10:55 GMT -5
|
|