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Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Mar 17, 2021 2:46:52 GMT -5
HELLO XHF FANS! It's that time again, RUMBLE SEASON! While you continue to enjoy the XHF Network from the safety of your own home we're still going to bring the action to you! Stay tuned to this page as more and more entrants are announced for the XHF Network Rumble!
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Post by Mav. on Mar 17, 2021 3:15:36 GMT -5
5th place in 2018.
7th place in 2019.
Never competed in 2020.
So....
What the fuck does 2021 hold?
…
Shit, that’s a good question.
I never thought that I’d enter The XHF Rumble this year. Honestly, it wasn’t on my agenda. I have other things to be worrying about, I’ve other things to be accomplishing, other things to be worked on. Entering the rumble this year could be killer… I could end up like the previous years before me. I could end up not even making it into the top ten this year. Honestly, it’s insane. Honestly, I could not make it. There’s so many there that could take the X*Crown Championship from either Dylan Black or Adrien Cochrane.
But honestly, fuck all of that.
This year, shit’s gonna be different. Things will not be the same as before, there’s a reason as to why I missed out on last year’s Rumble--
Because I wanted to observe the competition.
I’m sure many from last year will look to enter this year, even the winner of last year’s Rumble himself -- Anthony Caffrey -- and I’ve watched, learned and observed every single man and woman and living thing that’s entered through those ropes and thrown over them.
I made it a goal of mine to become the XHF X*Crown Champion this year and rewrite the history I couldn’t before. This year, I’m going to win the fucking Rumble.
I’m all in for this shit.
This is my fucking legacy right here.
King Jason Long is entering the 2021 XHF Rumble.
--and I'll be dammed if anyone dares to take this away from me.
All hail.
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Post by Cross Recoba on Mar 17, 2021 5:49:55 GMT -5
A ripped open box of condoms is shown on screen. The chicken-scrawl written on the inside simply reads.
I’m in for the XHF Rumble - Al
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Post by anthonycaffrey on Mar 17, 2021 8:28:53 GMT -5
POV: You're in a coffee shop in Philadelphia. As you wait for your overpriced beverage, you spot this poster on a board. It's clearly been quickly printed up, and strangely enough, you can tell that it was copied with marker already all over it.
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Post by Dave D-Flipz on Mar 17, 2021 8:40:38 GMT -5
*We open up inside of a Hot Topic. Why? Go read my latest RP in AWF you clods! Aiden Merric is back on his phone: Merric: It seems like people keep doubting my ability and respect for the business. I suppose I'll have to show you all just how disrespectful I can be. In fact I think I'll show my value to AWF by personally eliminating as many Fireside wrestlers as I can get my fists on. Why, I'll even get some measure of payback and eliminate that Tony Caffrey fellow. See all you victims at the rumble *fade out*
*We open up in an art gala. Sitting amongst a bunch of art made of body hair is Primal, he is clearly drunk and Buttons has found his way into the catnip ... why did Dominicus bring catnip to the gala? Either way Primal is stuffing a bunch of custom rib bandages, and also some wrap meant to hold tables together, made of body hair, into a gift back for the official event. The name tag says it's Anthony Caffrey's personalized gift bag.* : "*hic* Yes Butles .. Bubbens .... Buttons. *hic* Caffrey will absolutely love this. If he doesn't wear them I'll personally *hic* ... um ... hug him? WHat was I doing?"*He looks at the tv in the gala and sees the announcement of the XHF Rumble* : "OH HOW DELIGHT-*hic*-full. So many people to have *hic* fun with. I'll make them all take baths and dry off with my new line of beach towels."*He stumbles over to a piece of paper and writes XHF Rumble signups on it ... kinda, it's REAL sloppy since he's wasted. He then SCREAMS at the paper, heads in the gala turn to look at him. On the paper is spittle with a bit of hair in it that ... actually spells out Primal on it somehow. Primal is in the rumble*
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The Dunne Deal
.::XHF Superstar::.
The one you want to win, but won't admit it.
Posts: 1,094
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Post by The Dunne Deal on Mar 17, 2021 9:29:51 GMT -5
In an abandoned parking lot. A black Dodge Charger comes zooming in, doing a donut as it comes to a stop. The camera then travels around the car a few times, after the third time around, it stops to frame a pair of black dress shoes, as it pans up it stops at what is very clearly a man's waist.
"Nobody important is the Rumble this year."
The camera is suddenly jerked up, as Joe Nobody's face comes into view.
"Until now."
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Post by ForeverKuroi on Mar 17, 2021 15:21:04 GMT -5
Open your eyes.
Open them...
And just like that, my eyes open. As if it was the inner-me calling from the back of my mind. I instinctively wake up. I raise my head.
You are not done yet. In fact, your time has just begun.
I raise my head and find... {Spoiler} Bradshaw: Hey Copycat. Want to hear about Mongo's new website? Copycat: ...What? Bradshaw: Mongo has a site where you can sign up and he'll post delicious posts of him archiving different people and feds and such. So... Want to hear about it? Copycat: Uhhh... Sure? Bradshaw: It's called OnlyBans. Copycat: ...Okay? Bradshaw: Good. I'm glad. We're going to have fun with this Rumble Match! Copycat: RUMBLE MATCH? Bradshaw: Yeah, you agreed to it. Copycat: NO I DIDN'T! I AGREED TO HEARING ABOUT MONGO'S ONLYBANS. Bradshaw: ...OnlyBans? What are you talking about? Look, I'll show you the tape? Copycat: ...The tape of wh- Just then, Terry Bradshaw pulls out a camcorder. The video shows this.Bradshaw: Hey Copycat. Want to join the XHF Rumble next month? Copycat: ...What? Bradshaw: Mongo set up this whole wrestling match for a chance to win the XHF Rumble. I think you have a good shot. So... Wanna join? Copycat: Uhhh... Sure? Bradshaw: And you also have to enter the ring in lingerie. Copycat: ...Okay? Bradshaw: Good. I'm glad. We're going to have fun with this Rumble Match! Copycat: RUMBLE MATCH? Bradshaw: Yeah, you agree- It's at this point when Terry Bradshaw cuts the feed.Copycat: NO! I DIDN'T AGREE TO THIS! YOU LIED! TAKE THAT BACK! TAKE THAT- The promo cuts to black.
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Post by John Cavanagh on Mar 17, 2021 18:43:36 GMT -5
A static feed cuts into a pristine black 1996 Chevrolet Impala SS hurtling down the road towards the camera. The car came to a screeching halt in front of the camera with the driver side facing the camera. The limousine tinted window began to roll down and the leader of The Celtic Club, "The One Man Dynasty" John Cavanagh could be seen with his beautiful fiancé Shannon Riley seated next to him.
I've been hearing a lot of buzz around the locker room over in Northern Pro that the XHF is holding a rumble with the XHF X*Crown Championship on the line. The champion defending against anyone that decides to throw their hat into the ring. Well, let's face reality--the only god damned reason John Cavanagh is in this business is to collect checks and championship belts. The X*Crown, that's a championship that I haven't had the privilege of adding to my resume--that's all about to change. Now, after I outlast a clusterfuck of other competitors and add the X*Crown to my resume--that's gonna lead to a whole lot more bookings which means more checks. Huh, this battle royal...looks like a means to an end to me. I guess the countdown to MY TIME at the top of this Network's mountain has just begun.
Cavanagh laughs and speeds off as the scene cuts to static.
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freakke
.::XHF Newcomer::.
Posts: 20
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Post by freakke on Mar 17, 2021 23:46:42 GMT -5
A rare kind of footage, poor quality video from a phone of Charlie Smiles. The man behind the Freakke out of face paint and sitting in pajama pants and a bathrobe. When the video starts he's smiling and looking incredulous.
"C'mon Mina. Ya gotta let me get my face on befo-"
"Nuh uh. I'm not giving you a chance to weasel out of this. Say it."
He looks to the woman holding the phone out of view of the camera. Then, as if he were in full regalia, Freakke the Carnival King gave the camera one of his wide madmen smiles.
"Alrighty then. My dear cretins, as my lovely manager and wife is insisting, I'm throwing my hat into XHF Networks great big Rumble battle. Yes, yours truly, the High Flying, Psycho Diving, Mad Clown Disease of Pro Wrestling is coming to an Overcrowded ring near you! There will be chills, there will be thrills, I'm getting old so there might be spills and I might need to take my pills but as they say. I'm in like Sin."
He gave them a wink then after a beat looked back to his manager off screen and shook his head still smiling.
"Not bad for a rehears-"
This video was posted to the official Freakke twitter account then tagged to the XHF accounts.
A future message read as followed:
"Due to a slight disagreement about how that video wasn't supposed to be the official announcement, it has been agreed, I will be sleeping on the couch. Send help or doggie treats."
There is a picture of Freakke in full get up on a couch way too small for him, looking comedically irritated, with a pair of 80 some pound German Shepherds laying on top of him.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2021 0:06:56 GMT -5
"Hello, people of the XHF Network. You don't know me... but you soon will. In fact, allow me to just go ahead and introduce myself. My name is Dominic Sanders. I am recently retired in this business. I really have no real reason to be here, but there is something about this Rumble that just... it brings me in. When I heard about this match from my dear friend Carlos Ruiz... I just HAD to insert myself. Easy, Greg Adkins... that is not a sexual comment. No, I don't throw my name in the proverbial hat just to see if I can still hack it. I do it because I know and I believe that I can beat each and every fucking one of you. Most of you have no idea what I bring to the table; some of you do, right Maverick? You know that I am a former Champion of many colors in this business. Will I win this Rumble match? Who knows. But you can bet your ass that I will do whatever it is that I can to become the top dog in your little yard. And when I come into your house and take whatever it is that you believe is yours... you will understand that I am the best there is in wrestling today. YOU... can bet on that."
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eddied
.::XHF Competitor::.
Posts: 85
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Post by eddied on Mar 18, 2021 5:48:25 GMT -5
(Eddie D is in the Double D Club, his nightclub business and home from home, chatting with his head barman and long term friend Gilbert. The bar is closed. There's a hush over the place and even the road noise seems limited from outside, barely audible.)EDDIE: Listen? GILBERT: To what? EDDIE: Exactly. The peace and quiet for a change. No exotic dancers squeaking around that main stage pole. No idiots making a ruckus about not being able to touch the girls. No drunks insisting they're Ok and want to be served one more beer. No drunk jobber county fair wrestlers wanting a piece of me because they think the world owes them a SWAT contract. It's blissful right? GILBERT: Now you mention it... Yeah it's nice. EDDIE: It's so silent it's like a Dylan Black pop, It's like the insightful part of an Anthony Caffrey promo, it's... it's beautiful. GILBERT: Well enjoy it while it lasts, 'cause it don't come often. You're no doubt to make a ton of noise promoting your entry into that XHF Rumble. EDDIE: Who says I'm entering? GILBERT: Seeing as you won the SWAT rumble just weeks ago, I figured you'd want a shot at the X-Crown? EDDIE: Second time's the charm you mean? GILBERT: Why the hell not? You're dieting like a prom queen hopeful in June. I ain't seen you down the gym so much in like 20 years. Why the hell wouldn't ya toss your hat into that particular bull ring? EDDIE: Yeah... Why wouldn't I? I think this spell of quiet and this little talk is just what I needed. Thank you Gilbert. GILBERT: Shucks I'm just the hired help... Don't go getting all sentimental on me. I want to see a pissed off, cut throat, Son of a bitch Eddie hit that ring running in April... (Eddie is about to defend the simple expression of thanks when two of the club's most popular dancers, Savannah and Delilah, enter the bar. Their high heels clacking and their chatter immediately sours Eddie's mood.)DELILAH: I said fuck you with all this positivity crap! I don't need no shrink talk. I got anxiety bitch, just give me a fucking pill. "Dance like no one's watching?" That don't work when stage fright grabs your arse out here... SAVANNAH: You tell that doctor, who do they think they are? Never mess with a woman who hangs upside-down for fun... Oh Sorry Eddie, Gilbert, I thought you both left for the day. We're gonna do some training? Do you have some disinfectant wipes for the pole? DELILAH: I don't want to get covid from clenching my butt cheeks on a dirty pole. EDDIE: Heaven forbid that I didn't do my best as your boss to keep you covid safe... (Eddie throws Delilah a pack of wipes from the bar.)SAVANNAH: Why the sad face? Are you still smarting that you ain't got it on with those girls over at SWAT? EDDIE: What? No? Who do you mean? I ain't... GILBERT: Who do you mean? Blaze Freya? Lucky Linda? Dangerous Donna? Graysie Parker? Isabel Rios? He ain't got in there with any of 'em. ha ha ha. EDDIE: I have a sad face because you just kicked my zen to the curb with those clompy heels and butt crack chatter. Incidentally where I do or don't... wave my wand... has got nothing to do with any of you! (Eddie walks off... grabs his bike keys and his XHF Rumble application form and storms out to the car park)SAVANNAH: "Wave his wand"? That guy has no game. Couldn't you teach him a thing or two sugar lips? GILBERT: Don't you go teasing me now Savannah. He just need to meet the right girl... someone... someone really... DELILAH: Desperate? SAVANNAH: Slutty? GILBERT: I was gonna say special, but those two things wouldn't hurt either I guess. (The scene fades to black as they chuckle and Gilbert spits into a glass and "cleans" it with a bar towel.)
#PickingUpChicks #SWAT #BRINGitON #KGB #MainEventEddie #THEBigDeal
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Post by Nausicaä Suzuki on Mar 18, 2021 6:49:22 GMT -5
"GUESS WHO WANTS TO ENTER THAT RUMBLE AT NUMBER ONE, THROW ALL THOSE WEAKLINGS OUT AND SAVE THAT CROWN FROM A HISTORY OF PATHETIC CHAMPIONS?
ME!"
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Post by Spike Kane on Mar 18, 2021 13:59:41 GMT -5
We open up on a plane of existence drastically different from our own. There are bursts of flame from sporadic positions around, as well as pools of what appear to be lava. As the camera swoops through the planes, distant screaming can be heard. Not just one voice, but several, perhaps even thousands. Something flutters as a large leathery wing covers the camera for a second or two before flying off screen. Slowly we pan to a small building, entirely made out of stone (bar the doors of course, which are wooden.) There doesn't appear to be much light coming from the building, perhaps only candlelight. A hunched over figure, wearing a black hooded cape limps towards the door and slowly uses the door knocker to knock, the sound echoing around.
KNOCK.
KNOCK.
The door slowly creeps open and the figure pops his head inside, in the dim candlelight sat crossed legged in the middle of the room is a man covered in tattoos, and has his hair over his face, clearly deep in thought.
???: S-sir....He's....He's calling it in.
The figure doesn't move, just simply lets out an annoyed sigh, rolling his neck and slowly looking up to face the hunchbacked figure.
???: After all these years?
???: T-that's right sir. He contact the boss, he....Well, he said it was time to "cash in" on his deal...
The hunchback is clearly distressed at delivering this news, but knows that everything is of a rather sensitive nature, and this news had to be delivered in a way that would be palatable for the warrior that stood before him.
???: It feels like a very long time coming....
The hunchback quickly moves into the room, and begins to open up a closet and start rifling through it. The man sat on the floor, slowly rises to his feet, his naked torso soaked through with set only seeming to highlight his tattoos even more. He turns and finally faces us, revealing the worn and tested face of none other than Spike Kane. He smirks in the direction of the camera before slowly walking towards the Hunchback.
Spike: So....What does the fat bastard want?
The hunchback leans back out of the closet, holding a pair of wrestling boots, and a pile of wrestling gear, the hood slips off his head as he leans back to reveal to a rather small group of fans the face of XHF "legend" Snake. Looking somewhat....unwell, and clearly having rotted at some point.
Undead Snake: For the Rumble.
Now Spike really does smirk, he cracks his neck and rolls his wrists before cracking each individual knuckle. He let's out a sigh-laugh before taking his boots from Undead Snake, and slowly begins to pick up the pieces of his gear.
Spike: Well. A deal is a deal. I guess Spike Kane is finally returning to the XHF, just not how we'd all imagined it. It's been a long time since I whooped somebodies ass without it being an order from above....How Mongo swung this, is beyond me....but fine. This is how it's going to go down, the XHF Network and every little federation that makes up it's roster? They're officially on notice...
Spike gets really close to the camera, almost enough to take up the entire screen, but leaves just enough of a space to see Undead Snake chuckling away in the background like a maniac.
Spike: The God of Xtreme, the God of Steel, the Spiked One, the not-so-living legend is officially entering the XHF Rumble!
Now he winks and throws a smirk in, for old times sake.
Spike: All Bloody Hail!
Cut.
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Post by Venom 🕷 on Mar 18, 2021 18:02:33 GMT -5
Styler: Wooooooo! A piece of paper!
Styler struts in and looks at the desk. His partner Kris Quake stumbles in behind him.
Quake: Paper is lame. You can’t drink out of it. Paper straws for drinks is the worst thing ever.
Styler: But this is a high flyin, profilin’, paper about a rumble.
Quake: Put your name on it and see what happens.
Styler touches his head and starts bleeding. He uses the blood oozing from his head and signs with his finger. The two look around and nothing happens.
Quake: Sign mine too.
Styler signs and they look around.
Quake: I don’t even feel a little bit of a rumble.
Styler: Weird.
The two exit.
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Post by La Familia Price on Mar 18, 2021 18:08:12 GMT -5
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