Low-Hanging Fruit [OUTTAKES!]
Jun 4, 2021 19:58:24 GMT -5
Dave D-Flipz, Eron Hunter, and 1 more like this
Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Jun 4, 2021 19:58:24 GMT -5
*We open on the ending of Lord Dominicus’ recent promo to Jay Stevens. He takes the NPW North American Cruiserweight Championship off of his shoulder and holds it up towards the camera*
LD: You see this? This is your goal! This is the symbol of NPW’s finest athletes and what you’re fighting for on June 8th!
*He turns around and then hucks it up into the tree out of the camera’s vision…and it immediately falls back down.*
Director: CUT!
LD: Son of a- alright, let’s try that again.
*Dominicus takes the Cruiserweight Championship off of his shoulder and holds it up to the camera.*
LD: You see this? This is your goal! This is the symbol of NPW’s most in-shape athletes and what you’re fighting for on the 8th!
*He turns around and then hucks into the tree only for it to hit a lower branch and not even get up far.*
LD: Well that kind of ruins the concept
Director: CUT!
*He turns around and then hucks the Cruiserweight Championship straight up into the tree, then quickly covers his face and yelps as the title comes crashing back down on him*
Director: CUT!
*Dominicus takes the Cruiserweight Championship off of his shoulder and holds it up to the camera.*
LD: You see this? This is your goal! This is the symbol of NPW’s finest athletes and what you’re fighting for on June 8th!
*He turns around and then throws it up into the tree out of the camera’s vision. Then turns back.*
LD: Haha, yeah! Suck it, tree! Wait…what were we doing again?
Director: CUT!
*Now it’s a slightly different scene. Lord Dominicus is looking up into the tree, he is without the Cruiserweight Championship.*
LD: How the heck are we supposed to get it down now?
*He tries to shake the base of the tree, it’s pretty sturdy and doesn’t give.*
LD: …Well crap.
LD: Maybe if I…
*Dominicus jumps up and grabs onto the low hanging branch that previously held a peach in the promo. It immediately bends and he falls back to the ground.*
LD: Ow.
LD: Don’t worry guys, I got it! I am the TRIPLE CROWN CHAMPION and DE-FACTO KING OF NPW, I can handle a little gold-in-tree scenario.
*He jumps onto the trunk…and slides down. The champion steps back and makes another run at the trunk, he then holds on…and slides down more.*
*Lord Dominicus is looking up into the tree.*
LD: Wow, that is really up there. I mean I didn’t want it to fall down but…wow ok. I guess I didn’t know my own strength, right? Hmmmm.
*He DominiThinks*
LD: What would a corgi do right now?
*Dominicus is at the base of the tree on all fours*
LD: RARF! RARF! BARKBARKBARKBARK!
*He makes a dog whining sound.*
*Domincius is leaning against the tree with one hand talking to the camera.*
LD: You see, Jay Stevens wouldn’t be able to get this title down because he would try the standard ways and then just give up because it was enough. But unlike him, I think outside the box.
*He steps away and dusts off his hands.*
LD: For a job like this, I shall call on the agility of the MIGHTY HOUSE CAT!
*Our fearless(?) leader(?) takes a few steps back and then gets a running start on the tree, quickly scaling the trunk and finally getting to a stable branch.*
LD: HAHA! Suck it tree AND Jay Stevens! Lord Dominicus overcomes all! Now it is just an easy climb to my goal!
*We’re near the top of the tree. Lord Dominicus has retrieved his title (finally), but…uh…*
LD: HELP!
*He has a death grip on several branches as he looks down, panicked*
Cameraman: Oh for the love of…
*Beeping is heard as a firefighter in a cherry picker slowly makes his way up to the Triple Crown Champion. Finally stopping as close as he can.*
Firefighter: Sir, I need you to trust me and come closer.
LD: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Firefighter: Sir, I need you to calm down and slowly let go and reach over to me...
*Back on the ground Lord Dominicus is once again wearing both of his titles (the NPW North American Double Crown on his waist and the Cruiserweight Championship on his shoulder. He laughs as he eats a peach.*
LD: You know, maybe that’s why guys like Jay Stevens think I’m some kind of pushover. I make all this look real easy, you know? Pfft, I mean it is easy for me to be great- but a normal man? No way.
*Fade out.*
LD: You see this? This is your goal! This is the symbol of NPW’s finest athletes and what you’re fighting for on June 8th!
*He turns around and then hucks it up into the tree out of the camera’s vision…and it immediately falls back down.*
Director: CUT!
LD: Son of a- alright, let’s try that again.
*Dominicus takes the Cruiserweight Championship off of his shoulder and holds it up to the camera.*
LD: You see this? This is your goal! This is the symbol of NPW’s most in-shape athletes and what you’re fighting for on the 8th!
*He turns around and then hucks into the tree only for it to hit a lower branch and not even get up far.*
LD: Well that kind of ruins the concept
Director: CUT!
*He turns around and then hucks the Cruiserweight Championship straight up into the tree, then quickly covers his face and yelps as the title comes crashing back down on him*
Director: CUT!
*Dominicus takes the Cruiserweight Championship off of his shoulder and holds it up to the camera.*
LD: You see this? This is your goal! This is the symbol of NPW’s finest athletes and what you’re fighting for on June 8th!
*He turns around and then throws it up into the tree out of the camera’s vision. Then turns back.*
LD: Haha, yeah! Suck it, tree! Wait…what were we doing again?
Director: CUT!
*Now it’s a slightly different scene. Lord Dominicus is looking up into the tree, he is without the Cruiserweight Championship.*
LD: How the heck are we supposed to get it down now?
*He tries to shake the base of the tree, it’s pretty sturdy and doesn’t give.*
LD: …Well crap.
LD: Maybe if I…
*Dominicus jumps up and grabs onto the low hanging branch that previously held a peach in the promo. It immediately bends and he falls back to the ground.*
LD: Ow.
LD: Don’t worry guys, I got it! I am the TRIPLE CROWN CHAMPION and DE-FACTO KING OF NPW, I can handle a little gold-in-tree scenario.
*He jumps onto the trunk…and slides down. The champion steps back and makes another run at the trunk, he then holds on…and slides down more.*
*Lord Dominicus is looking up into the tree.*
LD: Wow, that is really up there. I mean I didn’t want it to fall down but…wow ok. I guess I didn’t know my own strength, right? Hmmmm.
*He DominiThinks*
LD: What would a corgi do right now?
*Dominicus is at the base of the tree on all fours*
LD: RARF! RARF! BARKBARKBARKBARK!
*He makes a dog whining sound.*
*Domincius is leaning against the tree with one hand talking to the camera.*
LD: You see, Jay Stevens wouldn’t be able to get this title down because he would try the standard ways and then just give up because it was enough. But unlike him, I think outside the box.
*He steps away and dusts off his hands.*
LD: For a job like this, I shall call on the agility of the MIGHTY HOUSE CAT!
*Our fearless(?) leader(?) takes a few steps back and then gets a running start on the tree, quickly scaling the trunk and finally getting to a stable branch.*
LD: HAHA! Suck it tree AND Jay Stevens! Lord Dominicus overcomes all! Now it is just an easy climb to my goal!
*We’re near the top of the tree. Lord Dominicus has retrieved his title (finally), but…uh…*
LD: HELP!
*He has a death grip on several branches as he looks down, panicked*
Cameraman: Oh for the love of…
*Beeping is heard as a firefighter in a cherry picker slowly makes his way up to the Triple Crown Champion. Finally stopping as close as he can.*
Firefighter: Sir, I need you to trust me and come closer.
LD: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Firefighter: Sir, I need you to calm down and slowly let go and reach over to me...
*Back on the ground Lord Dominicus is once again wearing both of his titles (the NPW North American Double Crown on his waist and the Cruiserweight Championship on his shoulder. He laughs as he eats a peach.*
LD: You know, maybe that’s why guys like Jay Stevens think I’m some kind of pushover. I make all this look real easy, you know? Pfft, I mean it is easy for me to be great- but a normal man? No way.
*Fade out.*
