The Sound of Animals Fighting (Hostile Intent)
May 25, 2022 20:43:33 GMT -5
Drag and Bugz? like this
Post by itsjustj on May 25, 2022 20:43:33 GMT -5
We open on Bugz? staring into the camera, the interior of a dilapidated warehouse behind him.
“This thing on? I told Foggy not to change the fuckin’ settings. Thing barely works as it is.”
Somewhere in the building, thudding drums and heavy bass rumbles in the air. Much closer, though still muffled by the walls, we hear the somewhat surprisingly smooth sounds of city pop playing. He swings the camera around, walking quickly through the building. We see signs that several people have been living here for some time. A table covered with empty cans of soda, bottles of beer, and pizza boxes. A bookshelf cobbled together from scrap lumber and cinder blocks, covered with various latex animal masks. Folding tables and chairs stacked haphazardly next to rolls of barbed wire and gas cans. Several well-worn arcade games covered in graffiti and band stickers. We briefly see a cluttered pile of what are (hopefully) broken mannequins lying on the ground. Finally, Bugz? reaches out, opening a door to see two men wearing bird masks sitting on a couch with NES controllers in hand.
“Yo, what the fuck? First Buta is too busy with his goddamn jerk off cartoons to cut a fuckin’ promo, now he loses a no DQ match EVEN THOUGH HE HAS BACKUP THAT DON’T HAVE A TITLE DEFENSE TO WORRY ABOUT!”
The man in the chicken mask shrugs before pointing to the game console. The man beside him in the owl mask doesn’t respond.
“Oh, the bird brains are too busy with their video games. I didn’t realize I was workin’ with goddamn grade schoolers. Foggy, go get Buta and cut a promo.”
Lee Gorn turns his face towards Bugz?, tilting his head quizzically.
“Look, I don’t feel like puttin’ on the dress and doin’ the fuckin’ Ms. Penelope thing today. You got all those ‘Learn to speak foreign languages’ tapes for your weird mute fetish thing. Figure out how to say ‘promo’ in Japanese.”
Foggy puts down his controller and raises his shoulders, holding both hands outstretched, palms up.
“Yeah, I don’t know how a dude who only speaks Japanese and a guy who talks with a tape recorder are supposed to talk shit either, but figure it out so neither of ya’ make us look bad. I got a big green monster to deal with.”
Fanfare plays from the TV in front of the two masked men as the man in the owl mask raises both arms triumphantly. Foggy throws his controller before standing up and flipping him off with both hands. He approaches the camera, reaching out for the device as Bugz? yells.
“NO SNATCHY, BAD BIRD!”
VHS artifacts obscure the screen as the scene ends. There are several moments of static before a dark, grimy room fades into view. A low, distorted synthesizer accompanies the scene, somewhere between vaporwave and an overcharged electrical transformer. The Great Buta sits on a chair, a single light illuminating only him. The tips of his fingers are stained yellow-orange, the hair on his chest a greasy tangle of crumbs. A rough voice emanates from his throat, broken and guttural.
"よくやった、モファット。あなたは時間旅行者の妻を台無しにしました。あるエピソードで、すでにそれはゴミです。あなたは本当に面白い型破りなラブストーリーをあなたの「私のキャラクターがどれほどきびきびと話しているか見てください」のもう一つのたわごとに変えました"
The man in the chicken mask and letterman jacket steps out of the shadows, holding a walkman up and pressing play. He’s clearly spent some time cobbling various sound clips together (although the occasional rough overdub shows he has other things to focus on, like Battletoads). As Foggy steps forward, we see Buta reach behind him and pull out a small magazine. The cover has several anime girls in compromising positions, clearly unlicensed uses of various intellectual property.
::click, whir:: “This boy's more mixed up than a feather in a whirlwind!” ::hiss:: ““The warrior code. The delight in the battle. But also something more. You understand…” ::click:: “The Ronin” “Would… profit from… death” ::whir:: “You cannot kill me! By my eternal vow, I will destroy you!”
Lee Gorn starts to laugh, the sound heavily muffled by his mask, while Buta growls.
::click:: “The Shogun?” ::silence:: "Please excuse me, but I was afraid for you." ::whir:: “The Tiger King” ::hiss:: “You Know Why Animals Die In Cages? Their Soul Dies." ::click:: “Oh, and by the way, this suit? It wasn’t cheap.” ::hiss::
The Great Buta slightly tilts his head back, suddenly bellowing full volume.
"シャーロックホームズのキャラクターを台無しにしたことは悪くありません。次にドラキュラを破壊しに行かなければなりませんでした。そのたわごとは一体何だったの？脳から記憶を消すためだけに再発することを考えたのはとてもひどいことでした."
::click:: “Don't nobody understand the words that are comin' out of your mouth!” ::whir:: “The… NEW… South” ::hiss:: “~Southern man better keep your head~” ::click::”~Jolene~” “tastes so good, make you wanna slap yo' mama!”
Now it’s Buta’s turn to tilt his head quizzically, as Foggy’s body language clearly indicates his surprise, fumbling with the buttons on his walkman as we hear muffled laughter from behind the camera.
The player briefly plays in fast forward as Gorn finds what he intended to play.
“KIRK” ::hiss:: “~Choose your poison/have a drink with your painkiller~” ::click:: “Bo knows…” “BARBECUE” ::whir:: “Bo knows…” ::click:: “Bourbon?” ::hiss:: "Bo, you don't know Diddley!” ::whir:: “The south will… LOSE… again!” ::click:: “The… RONIN… will… LOSE… again!” ::click:: “I know what I have to do but I don't know if I have the strength to do it.” ::whir:: “That’s a joke, son!”
While Foggy’s message plays, Buta pulls an open bag of Doritos from under his chair, leaning his head back and pouring chips both into his mouth and across his chest.
::click, whir:: “The rooster says” ::silence:: “Don’t push it, or I’ll give you a war you won’t believe” ::hiss: “The pig says” ::whir:: “I’MA EAT YOUR FAMILY!”
As the final clip plays, Lee Gorn starts walking toward the camera.
“THE MIDNIGHT ANIMALS!” ::click:: “...must break you.” ::whir:: “You will lose”
As the tape fades to a quiet hiss, Foggy suddenly tackles the person holding the camera. The image shakes and spins wildly as the camera falls, catching feet of the man in the chicken mask as he swings wildly at the man in the owl mask from earlier. Even though they can only be seen from the knees down, we can hear several hard punches connect as Foggy stumbles backward before managing to STO the man with the owl mask. His white suit is immediately dirtied as the two roll on the ground exchanging punches. We can hear Buta laughing as Foggy gains the upper hand, landing a series of heavy shots to the owl mask. Fingers partially block the view of the camera as someone picks it up, the image spinning wildly to show their face. As Bugz? squints at the camera, the electronic drone increases volume to a deafening level. As it drowns out the heavy, muffled breathing and dull thuds of punches continuing to land, Buta roars in the background.
"以上です！"
We see more distortion and VHS artifacts before the scene normalizes to an animated girl wearing a sailor fuku, skipping happily down the street with her improbable hairstyle gently blowing in the wind. The scene only lasts for a few seconds as a dark shadow falls over her and we cut to static.
“This thing on? I told Foggy not to change the fuckin’ settings. Thing barely works as it is.”
Somewhere in the building, thudding drums and heavy bass rumbles in the air. Much closer, though still muffled by the walls, we hear the somewhat surprisingly smooth sounds of city pop playing. He swings the camera around, walking quickly through the building. We see signs that several people have been living here for some time. A table covered with empty cans of soda, bottles of beer, and pizza boxes. A bookshelf cobbled together from scrap lumber and cinder blocks, covered with various latex animal masks. Folding tables and chairs stacked haphazardly next to rolls of barbed wire and gas cans. Several well-worn arcade games covered in graffiti and band stickers. We briefly see a cluttered pile of what are (hopefully) broken mannequins lying on the ground. Finally, Bugz? reaches out, opening a door to see two men wearing bird masks sitting on a couch with NES controllers in hand.
“Yo, what the fuck? First Buta is too busy with his goddamn jerk off cartoons to cut a fuckin’ promo, now he loses a no DQ match EVEN THOUGH HE HAS BACKUP THAT DON’T HAVE A TITLE DEFENSE TO WORRY ABOUT!”
The man in the chicken mask shrugs before pointing to the game console. The man beside him in the owl mask doesn’t respond.
“Oh, the bird brains are too busy with their video games. I didn’t realize I was workin’ with goddamn grade schoolers. Foggy, go get Buta and cut a promo.”
Lee Gorn turns his face towards Bugz?, tilting his head quizzically.
“Look, I don’t feel like puttin’ on the dress and doin’ the fuckin’ Ms. Penelope thing today. You got all those ‘Learn to speak foreign languages’ tapes for your weird mute fetish thing. Figure out how to say ‘promo’ in Japanese.”
Foggy puts down his controller and raises his shoulders, holding both hands outstretched, palms up.
“Yeah, I don’t know how a dude who only speaks Japanese and a guy who talks with a tape recorder are supposed to talk shit either, but figure it out so neither of ya’ make us look bad. I got a big green monster to deal with.”
Fanfare plays from the TV in front of the two masked men as the man in the owl mask raises both arms triumphantly. Foggy throws his controller before standing up and flipping him off with both hands. He approaches the camera, reaching out for the device as Bugz? yells.
“NO SNATCHY, BAD BIRD!”
VHS artifacts obscure the screen as the scene ends. There are several moments of static before a dark, grimy room fades into view. A low, distorted synthesizer accompanies the scene, somewhere between vaporwave and an overcharged electrical transformer. The Great Buta sits on a chair, a single light illuminating only him. The tips of his fingers are stained yellow-orange, the hair on his chest a greasy tangle of crumbs. A rough voice emanates from his throat, broken and guttural.
"よくやった、モファット。あなたは時間旅行者の妻を台無しにしました。あるエピソードで、すでにそれはゴミです。あなたは本当に面白い型破りなラブストーリーをあなたの「私のキャラクターがどれほどきびきびと話しているか見てください」のもう一つのたわごとに変えました"
The man in the chicken mask and letterman jacket steps out of the shadows, holding a walkman up and pressing play. He’s clearly spent some time cobbling various sound clips together (although the occasional rough overdub shows he has other things to focus on, like Battletoads). As Foggy steps forward, we see Buta reach behind him and pull out a small magazine. The cover has several anime girls in compromising positions, clearly unlicensed uses of various intellectual property.
::click, whir:: “This boy's more mixed up than a feather in a whirlwind!” ::hiss:: ““The warrior code. The delight in the battle. But also something more. You understand…” ::click:: “The Ronin” “Would… profit from… death” ::whir:: “You cannot kill me! By my eternal vow, I will destroy you!”
Lee Gorn starts to laugh, the sound heavily muffled by his mask, while Buta growls.
::click:: “The Shogun?” ::silence:: "Please excuse me, but I was afraid for you." ::whir:: “The Tiger King” ::hiss:: “You Know Why Animals Die In Cages? Their Soul Dies." ::click:: “Oh, and by the way, this suit? It wasn’t cheap.” ::hiss::
The Great Buta slightly tilts his head back, suddenly bellowing full volume.
"シャーロックホームズのキャラクターを台無しにしたことは悪くありません。次にドラキュラを破壊しに行かなければなりませんでした。そのたわごとは一体何だったの？脳から記憶を消すためだけに再発することを考えたのはとてもひどいことでした."
::click:: “Don't nobody understand the words that are comin' out of your mouth!” ::whir:: “The… NEW… South” ::hiss:: “~Southern man better keep your head~” ::click::”~Jolene~” “tastes so good, make you wanna slap yo' mama!”
Now it’s Buta’s turn to tilt his head quizzically, as Foggy’s body language clearly indicates his surprise, fumbling with the buttons on his walkman as we hear muffled laughter from behind the camera.
The player briefly plays in fast forward as Gorn finds what he intended to play.
“KIRK” ::hiss:: “~Choose your poison/have a drink with your painkiller~” ::click:: “Bo knows…” “BARBECUE” ::whir:: “Bo knows…” ::click:: “Bourbon?” ::hiss:: "Bo, you don't know Diddley!” ::whir:: “The south will… LOSE… again!” ::click:: “The… RONIN… will… LOSE… again!” ::click:: “I know what I have to do but I don't know if I have the strength to do it.” ::whir:: “That’s a joke, son!”
While Foggy’s message plays, Buta pulls an open bag of Doritos from under his chair, leaning his head back and pouring chips both into his mouth and across his chest.
::click, whir:: “The rooster says” ::silence:: “Don’t push it, or I’ll give you a war you won’t believe” ::hiss: “The pig says” ::whir:: “I’MA EAT YOUR FAMILY!”
As the final clip plays, Lee Gorn starts walking toward the camera.
“THE MIDNIGHT ANIMALS!” ::click:: “...must break you.” ::whir:: “You will lose”
As the tape fades to a quiet hiss, Foggy suddenly tackles the person holding the camera. The image shakes and spins wildly as the camera falls, catching feet of the man in the chicken mask as he swings wildly at the man in the owl mask from earlier. Even though they can only be seen from the knees down, we can hear several hard punches connect as Foggy stumbles backward before managing to STO the man with the owl mask. His white suit is immediately dirtied as the two roll on the ground exchanging punches. We can hear Buta laughing as Foggy gains the upper hand, landing a series of heavy shots to the owl mask. Fingers partially block the view of the camera as someone picks it up, the image spinning wildly to show their face. As Bugz? squints at the camera, the electronic drone increases volume to a deafening level. As it drowns out the heavy, muffled breathing and dull thuds of punches continuing to land, Buta roars in the background.
"以上です！"
We see more distortion and VHS artifacts before the scene normalizes to an animated girl wearing a sailor fuku, skipping happily down the street with her improbable hairstyle gently blowing in the wind. The scene only lasts for a few seconds as a dark shadow falls over her and we cut to static.